Lacey

“I COULD NOT GIVE a shit about your investment in Roxman Luther, Bryan,” I growled. The guy was boring the shit out of me with his petty crap. He was sat one side of a table with his puny lawyer and on my side, it was just me. “Why are you making this so hard?” I dropped my head to my hands and raked my newly manicured nails through my hair.

His attorney had organized this mediation meeting at his offices in Manhattan and I had come expecting to be signing something quick. Instead, it was if he wanted to make me suffer. He looked the same old Bryan, in a tailored navy suit with an impeccable white, crisp shirt. He was perfectly styled and clean shaven. I could smell his signature scent of Hugo Boss from where I sat and although he was handsome in a clean-cut boy next door way, he was always too pretty for me. His eyes were trained on my discomfort and I sighed.

“I just want to get everything right,” his dark eyes implored me from where he sat but I couldn’t stomach meeting his eye. 

“You are making this way harder than it needs to be,” I shook my head and glared at him. He sat back in his chair at the harshness of my gaze. “We keep all assets we came to the marriage with. We didn’t buy any property together, we split the purchases and so we just separate amicably, easy.” I held my hands up, “whoever wants the apartment on eighth can live there. I’m not precious about it, I can find another rental.”

“In New York?” he scoffed. “That address took years to get and you think you’ll walk into another rental?”

“I could not give a fuck.” I placed my hands on the desk and tried not to lose my temper, “I want out of this marriage and I am willing to move. Hell, I’m thinking New York might be the last place I want to be. Where the hell are you living anyway? Do you even want the apartment?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I’m actually returning to the city after setting up the new office in California and waiting to buy in the suburbs,” he said in a quiet voice.

“Of course,” I nodded, “get your little woman in suburbia where you always wanted me, then buy a house to have your baby in.” I snapped. “Bryan, why are we even here? Just get this shit drawn up.” I pushed my chair back with a loud scrape across the wooden floor.

“Keep the apartment,” he said, standing at the same time I did.

“Get this shit sorted, Bryan, or else I’ll take the apartment and the fucking Roxman Luther shares,” I nodded to his attorney and turned to leave, “I’m not going to be this amenable forever!” I yelled as I left the office and made my way haughtily to the bank of elevators.

I was furious. On my way out I fired a quick text to Jess and the same one to Alex.

Bryan is behaving like a complete A hole and there is no end in sight for this fucking marriage ahhhhhhh.

Jessa messaged back almost immediately, What the hell? I thought it was all sewn up, call me! Xxx

I didn’t hear anything from Alex straightaway but he would be working and maybe even out on the farm so he didn’t always have his cell to hand. I’d been home four days and each day we had messaged and spoken at night when we were tucked up in bed. It was nice and maybe even made me feel like I didn’t have to lose him to have my old life back. I’d dressed smart for the meeting, finding an old grey Gucci suit in the back of my closet and a nice silk blouse. The red Prada stilettos and matching purse had been the finishing touches, and after having my hair cared for by Karl, I felt like my old self. I got to the elevator and stepped inside. The door was closing when a hand snaked round and stopped it.

I sighed out loud when Bryan smiled at me and joined me in the car, “You really are such a bitch, Lacey.” He laughed, and I pursed my lips staring away from him at the illuminated numbers on the side of the car.

“I don’t waste my words,” I agreed haughtily.

“I’d really like the chance for us to talk.” I glanced to him and his eyes were soft and pleading. He wasn’t a bad guy, but I had lost my patience for him. He was right I was a bitch.

“What is there to say, Bryan?” I sighed.

“Almost ten years together and there’s nothing to say?” I couldn’t look at him, and so I glanced back to the numbers. 

“We’re not friends. We were married and we’re soon not to be. I have no desire to hear about your latest client or the suit you might buy or the food cravings your secretary is having in her third trimester,” I turned and stared at him coldly. I’d almost forgotten how to reduce a man to tears by just one look since being in Montana.

The elevator dinged, and we were at the ground floor. I dashed through the open doors and he followed, stopping me leaving by grabbing my arm. I turned as I yanked it away. “That’s where we went wrong,” he looked down at me sadly, “we stopped having fun and just started talking shop all the time.”

“Bryan,” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “we had no passion, we had no desire and we just existed. I didn’t want that life and to be trapped with kids would have been too much.”

He reached out and touched my cheek gently, “You were always too much for me. I always knew I was on borrowed time.”

I gave him a sad smile, “I loved you, Bryan,” I said, “but I just feel like now we need to let go and you need to stop prolonging the agony.”

He swallowed hard and nodded, “I’ll get the paperwork drawn up.”

“Thank you,” I uttered. I nodded and turned to walk away.

“What will you do now, Lacey?” he asked as I began to walk away. He knew I had no job. Hell, there were probably rumors flying all over Peterson and Tyson about me. I turned to face him and shrugged.

“I have no idea,” I told him honestly and just then my cell rang in my pocket. I looked down at it and saw Alex’s name, smiling without realizing. “I better go,” I waved to Bryan, and he waved back.

I hoped he was as good as his word and our marriage would soon be over. 

“Hey,” I answered the call.

“Hey, city girl.” Alex’s voice filled the line as I walked out into the New York autumn air, muggy yet with a definite nip.

“Hey, country boy,” I said, grinning afterward. “I missed you.”

“What’s going down?” he asked. He sounded like he was doing stuff whilst talking to me and I imagined him at his desk shuffling paperwork.

“Argghhh,” I groaned, walking between the crowds of people: tourists, commuters, locals, hustlers, homeless people. They squished past me but I had Alex on the phone, so I didn’t have a care in the world, “I was angry but now I’m good.”

“What happened?” he sounded concerned.

“He tried to fight when we’d already decided how to split everything, and I was pissed but he caught me in the elevator and he agreed to resolve it,” I sighed.

“But he promised that before, didn’t he?” his voice raised slightly at the end.

“I guess,” I started to doubt my own version of events. “I guess I had an idea that it wasn’t all that complicated, and he was making it harder than it needed to be.”

“Stay strong,” his voice rumbled over the phone and my heart clenched because he wasn’t holding me saying that.

“How’s things out there?” I asked, missing the farm and everyone.

“Ahh, Bear has totally forgiven Mom and is following her everywhere and to give her her due, she’s clean... so far.” He sounded defeated at the mention of his mom.

“I hope she doesn’t let you down,” I added.

“Me too. Hey catch you later? Bed time?”

“Yeah,” I smiled at the thought, “thanks for calling.”

“Speak later,” he ended the call.

 

My life in New York was as it was before except there was no work, well nothing I had to go to an office for, and I didn’t party. I was asked, and I tried to, but it didn’t have the same appeal. The same hot guys who made me salivate before just didn’t interest me and I found at ten p.m. I was happier to speak to Alex than heading out into the city for a drink. In fact, my life was probably boring from the average outsider's point of view but to me it was actually the most settled I’d ever been. I wasn’t fighting colleagues at work to be the best and get the BIG clients. Also I wasn’t suffering long office days with little sleep. I wasn’t chasing the lifestyle that I wanted... I was just living it.

Two weeks in I got the papers I needed from Bryan and we sat amicably whilst we signed them. Although I worked hard for all my clients, Alex’s portfolio was my favorite and I made sure that all his stocks were sure to soar. I like gambling and most of my clients had the resources to make it pay off but not Alex. He needed safe bets for now until we saw the dollars stacking up so I joined some forums for self-employed traders and I also made sure to keep up with the latest stock market information. I worked as hard as before but keeping normal hours and working from my apartment was a synch.

I told Jessa I was glad to be back, and I told my mom I’d visit them and that I was making being self-employed work for me and I told Alex that I missed him. The truth was I could do what I was doing from anywhere and although when I was younger NYC was where I needed to be, I wasn’t sure if it was for me anymore. The city had been the place I lived when I was that go-getter who saw business and money as the most important things in the world. I guess that girl had been replaced by someone who saw that life was more for living. My mind was constantly warring with my heart but never once had Alex asked me to stay.

We had said the L word because we loved each other, maybe not the Romeo and Juliet kinda shit but most definitely he was the best guy I’d ever met, and I admired the bejesus out of him. I guessed with me, he’d never met anyone quite like me and men did tend to fall in love with me. I liked that he was one of those guys, but I hoped he saw more than everyone else, I was sure he did.

A month after I had left, Alex, and I were still talking most days. His mom had settled back into the farm. She had agreed to reduced duties, but she seemed to have gotten back into the swing of things. The kids were still adjusting and so was he. He tried his best to bite his tongue when she said stuff that irritated him or when she was fishing for compliments, telling me instead. Her being back had meant that he could spend more time in his workshop, so three more recliners and a small toddler bed had been made to order.

“So,” I began one night as I cuddled under my comforter talking to him. “I have been invited to a fundraiser thing by my old friend Georgie, who I used to work with and I wondered, can you come?” I blurted out the last part, a little embarrassed to ask. We hadn’t discussed seeing each other again. 

“Wow,” he sucked in a breath, “erm when?”

“Well two weeks. I mean your mom is doing so much better and you totally deserve a break and it would only be a weekend and... I really want to see you,” I rushed out trying to convince him.

“Yeah,” he breathed, “yeah,” he repeated more determined. “I think I can do that.

 

Two weeks later I stood at JFK waiting for Alex. I was so nervous, anxious and excited. My week had been a countdown to seeing his face and my day had been a never-ending knot of energy as the minutes burned slowly by. I checked the time six times on my cell before setting off early for the airport. I had been like a cat on a hot tin roof all week and the anticipation was killing me. I felt tingly all over at the prospect of his hands on me and I’d been lonely away from them all. I guess working from home wasn’t really the most social life.

I stood at the gate, checking my phone and waiting for the plane to touch down. It felt like forever until I saw it pulling into the docking bay and I waited not so patiently as the passengers disembarked after ten minutes or so. I was hopping around the place and bobbing my head over the top of everyone to see his face. Finally, I recognized his walk first, head down, taller than the other folks and looking around the airport like he’d seen a bunch of aliens. I waved, but he didn’t see me.

“Alex!” I yelled not caring who heard, and he glanced up to see me. His face broke out into a grin when he did, and I couldn’t hold my happiness back. I waved and shoved people out of the way to reach him. He had some beard growth, but it was trimmed and his lagoon eyes shone when they honed in on me. He looked delicious in jeans, a navy bomber jacket and a dark t-shirt underneath. He’d had a haircut, but it was still long on top. I burst through throngs of people to meet him and threw myself at him when I did. He dropped his bag and caught me as I failed to play it cool.

I slid my nose into the nape of his neck and his strong arms held me tightly in place, he squeezed me to him and I kissed the soft skin under his ear. “Hey,” his voice hummed, and I hugged him harder. I’d missed him more than I could explain, and I think this did a good job of getting the point across. People filed around the scene and bumped him, but he stayed solid and held me and I didn’t give a crap. I leaned back eventually and looked at him.

“Hey,” I answered with a goofy grin, dropping to kiss him. He kissed me back, groaning as he did, and his tongue found mine.

“Get a room,” someone yelled, and I laughed.

Alex dropped me to my feet, and I took his big hand in mine, squeezing gently as he grabbed his carryon and we began to walk out.

“You hungry?” I asked, turning to face him.

He dropped to whisper in my ear in a low gravelly voice, “I’m horny.” His tone sent a tingle straight to my sensitive parts, and I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth.

I nodded and gave him a wicked smile, “Then let’s get to my place ASAP.”

I pointed out some city landmarks as we took the cab back to my place. Alex had never visited New York City, and it was such a fleeting visit that I felt bad we wouldn’t be able to do everything. We passed Central Park, and he seemed amazed, “I’ve seen it all on TV but up close it’s...”

“Busy,” I smirked.

“Big and busy,” He nodded.

I took his hand, “Very different to Montana.”

“Yeah,” he nodded and turned back to look out of the window.

We got back to my apartment and Alex insisted on paying the cab driver, pushing me out of the way, so I jumped out and waiting on the sidewalk. My apartment was an old walk-up building that had been renovated a couple of years back. Bryan and I were lucky to get it as they were hot commodities after the refurb, but of course we had connections.

Alex looked up at the building and let out a low whistle, “This place is nice.” He said.

“Come on,” I led him inside. I had a two bed, two bath on the first floor that had a master suite with a walk in closet and the kitchen was to die for. I knew he’d think it was ostentatious, but I hoped we were past him thinking I was some spoilt rich girl to his down to earth small-town persona.

I pushed open the front door and his eyes bugged out of his head as he looked around. The place was minimalist. I’d chosen an oatmeal color for the hallway and I had framed pictures of my family that decorated the way to the living area. All my wedding pictures had been replaced by old pictures from my childhood and ones of Jessa and me, or her kids. I loved photographs, they made me happy when I felt alone, I’d missed them during the time I spent at the farm. The living room was at the front of the property looking out onto the busy Manhattan street. There was a veranda that allowed me to sit outside with a glass of wine when it was hot.  The living room was also neutrally decorated but on one wall was a nude painting of me. I watched as his eyes moved over it. The painting was tasteful. I was covered at the bottom but my top half was exposed.

“Wow,” he nodded to the oil painting.

I shrugged, “One of my clients has a gallery and he only does nudes.”

“Say no more,” he held his hand up and shook his head with a smirk. “I get it, you helped him out, and he offered his services.”

“No.” I walked towards him with my eyes lowered and licked my lips as I snaked my hands inside his jacket, “he painted that from his own imagination and I thought it was so good I hung it.”

“What a pervert,” he laughed, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“He gave me decent boobs, don’t you think?” I reached under his shirt and ran fingers across his naked back.

“Nothing beats the real thing,” he uttered followed by a gasp as my fingers traced his skin.

I stood on my tiptoes and he dropped to kiss me. I pushed his jacket off and he grabbed me, his kisses becoming more urgent and I groaned at his need. Pulled his t-shirt over his head I took an inhale of breath at the sight of his perfectly toned body—the sun-kissed body I had not seen for so long. I dropped to kiss his toned stomach, and he hissed at the gentle touch.

He pulled at my sweater and I yanked it straight over my head, so I was stood before him in just my bra and jeans. His large hands found the clasp at the back and he released my breasts as I continued to kiss my way down his body. I dropped to my knees, unbuttoned his jeans and then zipped them down. I pushed them down to reveal his tented underwear and gave him a wry smile as I looked up at him. “Lacey,” he groaned as my hands urgently found what I was desperately looking for. I eased him out of his underwear and took hold of him in my hands. God, I needed this.  I pumped his thick, hard cock and licked the tip teasingly as I did. He groaned more and fisted my hair. “Oh God,” he said as I took all of him into my inviting mouth and whirled my tongue around him.

“Shit,” he gasped. I sucked, licked, fisted his dick and made sure to take him as far back as I could. He was holding me firmly and trying his best not to thrust too hard into my mouth but I loved his need and how he could barely control himself, so I took him even deeper. “Lacey,” he growled, “I’m gonna come,” he tried to pull away, but I held him in place and sucked harder until I felt his salty taste at the back of my throat. When he stilled, I pulled back and smiled up at him.

He grabbed my hand, and I stood, looking at his flush face and feeling proud to have put that smirk there. “Good?” I teased.

“Awesome,” he grabbed me into a kiss and my naked breasts were pushed against his bare chest. He was so strong and hard that just being this close to his body made me tingle with excitement. He kicked his shoes off and then his pants. Then he reached between us and unbuttoned my jeans. I pushed them and my panties down until we were both stood naked in my living room.

He backed me up to my gray fabric sofa, and I sunk into it as he hovered over me, his dexterous fingers found their way down my body leaving me shivering in their wake until he found my sensitive spot. He teased me, and I rocked into him as he kissed me, moaning my arousal into his mouth. I felt him harden as he laid over me and I reached down to urge him on. 

“I need inside you,” he grunted, and I nodded in agreement.

“Now!” I affirmed, and he moved to line us up so he could push inside. I sighed with ecstasy as he filled me and I grabbed onto him to steady me as he banged harder. “Yes,” I hissed as he hit the spot time and time again. I craved everything about this guy. I needed everything he had and the things he made my body feel were like nothing I had ever felt before.

He brought me to the point of orgasm with just a touch and so him being inside me sent me to another dimension. I closed my eyes as he kissed me feverishly and claimed me with his own body. I loved this guy, and it was more than I had ever allowed myself to feel before. It scared the shit out of me.

Alex worshipped my body until I found my release and he followed with frenzied thrusts that made me scream out with pleasure. My neighbors were getting a good show, and I didn’t give a rat’s ass.

Afterwards we lay together in my bed, naked, entwined, and watching TV. He traced the tips of his fingers down my naked back and I snuggled into his hard pecs. “You are back to knockout, Lacey,” Alex uttered as we cuddled.

“What?” I scrunched my nose and glanced up at him.

“You look like that million-dollar city girl again,” he said with a smile, “your hair and makeup and everything.”

“You saying I let myself go on the farm?” I teased.

“Nah,” he chuckled, “but you relaxed, no make-up some days and hair tied up. Now you look like a movie star again.” He sighed.

“I was meeting my boyfriend at the airport. Did you want me to turn up looking like a bag woman?” I laughed, and he squeezed me tighter.

“Your boyfriend?” he asked.

“Well isn’t that what you are?” I asked, my heart stuttering at the moment of vulnerability. 

“Yeah,” he rubbed me but didn’t affirm any more.

I moved to lean on my elbow and looked at him in question, “You don’t sound so sure.”

He swallowed, “There is nothing more I want than for you and me to be a couple...”

“But?” I urged.

“But you live here, you belong here, and you look great here. I mean this apartment is goddamn impressive and I get now why the cottage at Bishops wasn’t quite good enough,” he smirked.

“I loved Bishops,” I furrowed my brow.

“Yeah, I loved having you there, but it doesn’t hold a candle to all this,” he wafted his meaty hand to indicate my bedroom, “you have mirrored furniture for God’s sake.” He sighed heavily again, “We’re from two different worlds and neither one of us fits in the other world.”

“I think I played the farm girl pretty well,” I protested.

“You’re too pretty for a farm,” he bent to kiss my nose. “You look at home here, around all this...”

“Decadence,” I finished glumly, “you think I need all this stuff? To be happy?” I asked. “I thought you realized I’m not superficial,” I whined. Well I wasn’t anymore...

“Hey,” he soothed rubbing my back again, “I don’t think you’re superficial, I just think you’re better than that farm.”

“So,” I sat up and glared down at him, “you’re saying what’s the point of us being a couple if we can never live together?”

He sat up too and placed a gentle hand on my thigh, “I’m saying let’s enjoy everything while we can and maybe accept that I’d love to be your boyfriend, but we might not be able to make that work.”

I nodded solemnly, “If only loving someone would mean it always worked out.” I sighed.

“If only I didn’t have the most fucked up family in the world and I could be the man you deserve, who could leave everything and be with you.” He swallowed hard and my eyes misted with tears. 

I placed a hand tenderly on his cheek, “You are more than I deserve, Alex, a good guy with integrity. I didn’t know men like you existed in the twenty-first century.” I tried to smile through my heartache.

“And I didn’t know women could be this pretty in real life,” he scooted me closer to him and wrapped me in his arms again, cocooning me against his body and making me feel like a precious gemstone.