If I’d known all it took to get Chaser to give a shit was to save his life, then I would’ve done it a lot sooner.

We endured an hour drive in a truck that smelled like dirt and stale sweat. Chaser sat in the middle, separating me from the greasy hands of Tucker Cawley, who turned out to be a thirty-something-year-old farm boy who’d forgotten what soap was.

By the time we were dropped off at the Greyhound bus stop at Tucumcari, I was ready to cut anyone who got in my way. My mood was so foul even Chaser kept me at arm’s length.

My legs ached, my feet felt like they were covered in blisters, and my eyes were scratchy from lack of sleep. Then there was the crick in my neck from sleeping in the doorway of the post office in the middle of nowhere. Long story short, I felt like a hunk of shit.

We lingered outside of the McDonalds the post office lady thought was so special, watching cars inch through the drive-thru.

“Who did you call back at the post office?” I asked, my wits finally coming back after wolfing down a cheeseburger.

“I spoke to your father,” Chaser replied, avoiding eye contact.

He looked like shit too. His clothes were rumpled, his hair was messier than ever, and the stubble on his chin was looking more like a beard with every passing hour. The knees of his jeans were ripped and dirty like mine, too.

My mouth fell open. “And you’re telling me this now because?”

“Your friend hasn’t let you go.”

“Yvette?” I seethed, resisting the urge to slap Chaser around the face. “He threatened her, didn’t he?”

“She needs to drop it,” he drawled. “You’re the only one who can—”

“Fuck you!” I exclaimed, causing passers-by to glance warily at us.

“Don’t fuck me, fuck your father.”

“You’re cut from the same cloth. You’re a killer, Chaser. Plain and simple.”

“I only kill when threatened.”

“That’s a lie. You kill when ordered to like the little bitch you are.”

“Then why am I warning you about your friend now?” He raised his eyebrows. “Think about who you’re taking your shit out on.”

I turned my back to him and scanned the street for a payphone, even though they were a dying piece of technology.

“That’s the million-dollar question,” I said. “Who are you? More importantly, who are you to me? The mystery deepens.”

“We don’t have time for this.”

“We never have time when things get too hard, Chaser. Don’t worry, I know how men like you operate.”

“Unlikely.”

I snorted, not wanting to argue about the fact I felt like I was stuck between suspected unrequited love and a father whose motives were even more mysterious than the fucking pyramids in Egypt.

The game was changing so fast I could hardly keep up. Why was it so important to my father that I disappear? Even if Yvette wasn’t on the scene, would it change what he had in store for me? Probably not, which meant I had to be ready to play whatever cards he dealt.

Could I count on Chaser? Who knew. That man was on and off like a light switch.

There was a Shell gas station down the street, and knowing it was my best option, I began walking, the sound of Chaser’s footsteps thudding behind me only adding to my irritation.

“We’ve got twenty minutes until the bus gets here,” he said as I powered toward the automatic doors.

“Get off my back, Chaser.” I flipped him the bird over my shoulder as I stepped into the store.

There was no payphone, but I made a reluctant Chaser buy me a cheap prepaid cell, which we took outside and put together. The moment the SIM card was stuffed in the back and the phone was on, I punched in Yvette’s number.

Putting some distance between us, I leaned against the wall of the gas station and eyed Chaser warily. Nothing about this conversation would be easy, and having him overhear was just another round of ammo he could use against me. He broke my heart, he really did. I wanted to love him—I pretty much already did—but there was this invisible barrier between us that was all him and then some. Goddamn you, Chaser.

“Hello?” The sound of Yvette’s voice was like music to my heart.

“I hear you’re looking for me.”

“Sloane? Oh, God! Where have you been, girl?”

I frowned, hating I’d put her in danger just because she cared about me. Thinking about Chaser, I could see the parallels, but it wasn’t the same. Was it? I wanted it to be. He had the means to fight back. Yvette didn’t.

“You’re still looking for me,” I stated.

“Of course, I am,” she declared, and I imagined the pout on her face. “You’re in trouble, Slo. I care about you, and I want to help, but I can’t do anything if I don’t know where you are.”

“That’s the problem,” I said, my heart twisting. “You can’t know.”

“Sloane…”

“Are you alone?”

“Why?”

“Last time, you weren’t.”

It took a moment for her to reply. “No, I wasn’t. Your neighbor was murdered, and you disappeared. Then there was that security footage from behind Teasers… I thought a serial killer had kidnapped you.”

I snorted. She wasn’t far off the mark.

“Yvette, are you alone now? Is anyone listening?”

“No. They gave up after that call, Slo. I swear it.”

“Good.” I flattened my palm against the wall, hoping Chaser was tactful enough to not listen in. “Listen, I’m going to tell you as much as I can, but you need to promise me something.”

“I don’t know if I can…”

“You have to.” Damn you, Yvette!

“Fine, fine…”

Taking a deep breath, I rattled off the cliff notes version. About where I grew up, who my father was, and why I’d run away. I told her about Chaser and why he’d come and our flight across the country. I was careful not to let slip about the bodies, and especially not about the guy whose head I shot off.

“So you see… I’m in the middle of something I can’t control, but only I can deal with it. This goes beyond you and me, Yvette. Whatever my dad’s in, it’s big. Big enough to put a target on my back.”

“Fuck… Sloane, I had no idea.” She sounded breathless like my story had taken the spark out of her life, too.

“I wanted to leave that life,” I went on. “I wanted to start someplace new and get an education. Be a better person. A normal person. One day at a time…but I can’t escape it. I’ve got to face this head on and deal with it, or it’ll dog my footsteps forever.”

“I wish I could help you. I wish…”

“Coming after me will only get you and Brittany into trouble. I’ll be fine. I know how these people work.”

There was a pause as the gravity of the mess I was in sank in even more than it already had. I’d fought all the way across the country, but it had always been futile. I was fucked the moment I laid eyes on Chaser that first night at Teasers.

“Brittany asked about you that other day,” Yvette said.

“I find that hard to believe.” I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me. “She’s three.”

“It’s true, Slo. You might hate kids, but she likes you, anyway. Kids know their shit and don’t have a problem telling you they hate carrots. Even at three, believe me. My kitchen wall is paying for it with a bright orange stain.”

“What the hell was in those carrots?”

“They’re genetically engineered, I’m telling you.” She sighed, the sound echoing down the line. “Will I ever see you again?”

I glanced at Chaser, who was watching the comings and goings along the street.

“Listen, if I ever get out of this, you’ll be the first person I call.”

“That doesn’t sound great.”

“I know, but it’s all I’ve got. I won’t let anyone hurt you, Yvette. You’ve gotta trust me on that one.”

My grip tightened around the cell as I realized it was pretty much exactly the same thing Chaser had told me time and time again. He wouldn’t let anything happen to me. How was it only now I realized it was a promise I couldn’t keep? In reality, neither could he. Outside influences couldn’t be controlled.

“I don’t like it, but I’ll take your word for it, Slo.”

“I’ll call you. I promise.”

There was a pause before she replied, “Sure.”

Hanging up the call, I glanced at Chaser. Sensing my eyes on him, he turned.

“Finished?” he asked.

I nodded.

Walking back to the bus stop, I was silent. There was nothing to say or discuss. This was it.

“Did you convince her?” Chaser asked as we spotted the bus in the distance.

“Yeah.”

He snorted and picked up our bags as the bus turned into the lot. “Contrary to popular belief, I do give a shit about you, Sloane. The only person standing between you and your belief of that is you.”

Rolling my eyes, I climbed onto the bus behind him, thoroughly annoyed he’d gotten in the last word. Again.

Deep down, I knew Chaser cared about me. I saw it in the way he fucked me, how he made sure I was never hungry, how I’d always gotten the bed and the first shower, how he took a bullet for me, how he trusted me when he gave me my gun back. I didn’t know why he held himself back from giving more than that—maybe it was merely duty that stood in his way—but I knew exactly what kept me from saying the words out loud.

Chaser was one of them, he was Fortitude, and I was afraid he’d turn out to be nothing more than a disciple of violence and brutality like all the rest. So, I didn’t tell him.

He didn’t want to run away with me, and he didn’t want to help me escape my father. He wanted nothing more than sex… Maybe if I told myself that, then it would be easier when we parted ways.

Maybe my heart wouldn’t break when he walked away.

Maybe I’d be able to survive the shit storm to come if I wasn’t completely shattered.

Maybe…