My entire life was crumbling before me. I sat at the bar and polished off a couple bottles of whiskey. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't go back to Byron and I wasn't welcome with the Devil's Hellions anymore.
I couldn't help but laugh at my situation. When I was hostage, all I could think about was escaping from this place. Now I wanted to stay here now more than ever. But Phoenix was done with me. He was just like every other biker. Their head so far up their ass that they couldn't see what was right in front of them.
Fuck Phoenix. I didn't need him.
I went to the only friend left, Heather. She acted like I had been dead and resurrected. I told her the long story about being kidnapped and all about Phoenix. She let me stay in her dorm room which her roommate didn't like too much. But I had no where else to go. I couldn't stomach the thought of going back to my parents. They pretty much exiled me after I went to live with Byron.
But what was I supposed to do?
I tried going to class, keep my mind of Phoenix and the Devil's Hellions. School just didn't interest me much anymore. Heather tried to take me out to a club but I just ended up going back to the dorms early.
Weeks passed by and I thought I was going to go crazy. Sleeping on the floor of Heather's dorm room made me feel like I was homeless. In fact, I was homeless. Barely had any money to my name, and not even a bed to sleep on. My life had hit rock bottom. There was only one place where I belonged now.
Heather thought I was insane for getting a tattoo. “It's not like you, Patrick,” she said.
“You don't know me anymore, Heather,” I replied. I didn't like burning the last good friendship I had but it was the truth. I was a different person now.
Heather held my hand as the man with giant plugs in his ears inked my back. The Phoenix was nothing compared to what I had been through the past couple months.
I found myself back at the Devil's Hellions clubhouse. There were a few new faces but the place was still pretty empty. Tater smiled when he saw me approach the bar.
“Didn't think I'd see you around here anymore. What can I get you?”
“A quick shot of whiskey and Phoenix if he's around.”
Tater poured a shot and yelled across the room. Tank had his head buried in the tits of some Asian whore. “Hey Tank, you've seen the Prez around?”
Tank came up for just enough air to reply. “In the meeting room.” His tongue flicked out and the slut on his lap giggled.
I grabbed the shot and let it slowly drain down the back of my throat. I hadn't seen Phoenix for more than a month and I had no idea how I'd react. I had to subdue the urge to jump his cock. We weren't like that anymore.
I said my goodbyes to Tater and opened the door to the meeting room. The wood table had a nice carving of a devil and new framed photos had been nailed to the walls of fallen members. Phoenix sat at the head of the table, his face covered in shadows. He looked like a mob boss right out of the Godfather films.
Phoenix stood up, his palms face down on the table. “I didn't think I'd see you back here, Patrick. My mind hasn't changed.”
His voice was just as deep and sexy as I remembered. My legs shivered as I murmured, “I know...I know. I didn't come back here for you.”
Phoenix swaggered around the table and came into the light. His chiseled chin looked good enough to eat and his dark eyes stared back at me. The tension between us was palpable. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him. But it wasn't meant to be.
“Now that I'm back to my normal life, I realized I don't want it anymore. I dreamed of it day and night while I was locked away down in your basement but so many things have changed. I want to be apart of something. Become somebody important. The Devil's Hellions MC can give me that.”
Phoenix put up his hand to get me to stop. “I don't know if this life is for you, Patrick. I don't want to see you hurt. I couldn't bear it.”
Phoenix still cared for me and that was nice but I wouldn't let anyone try to shield me anymore. I got enough of that from Byron. I was my own man now. “I've been here during the worst times of this motorcycle club. And I want to be here to rebuild.”
I turned around and lifted the back of my blue shirt. The tattoo was still fresh and stung with a phoenix. Phoenix's fingers grazed my inked skin and I flinched.
“Property of Devil's Hellions MC,” Phoenix said, reading aloud my tattoo.
I faced Phoenix again to see him smiling. “I'm serious about this.”
Phoenix hugged me and whispered in my ear. “I see that now. Go behind the bar and help Tater out.” His musky scent was overwhelming and I wanted to kiss him so badly. But I had to resist. Someday maybe we could be together. But for Phoenix, the MC would always be a priority.