I didn’t need to open my eyes to know where I was.
I knew the smells and the sound the wind made against the rocks that clustered to make a lee. I was lying on the ground by my Gram’s grave.
I came here a lot… before everything had happened with the skinwalker.
I just wanted to be close to her.
More than anything I wanted to be near her.
The fact that Stormy and Bly could see her, but I couldn’t hurt more than I could say.
The fact that the old woman was sending me little notes from the great beyond via my brother and sister just made it worse.
“I know,” she said from right above me. “It’s not fair, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you just as much as Stormy and Bly.”
I crunched my eyelids together because just the sound of her voice brought tears to my eyes.
I swallowed the grief that tried to escape through my throat and said, “He prefers being called Billy.”
She chortled, and it sounded like music in the air.
“He can call himself anything he wants, but he will always be Bly to me.”
Sounded like her.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my jacket sleeve as I leaned up off the ground. Gram stood next to me, short and stout, but utterly fearless. I pushed up off the ground and stood beside her.
I wanted to wrap my arms around her, more than anything… but she was just a ghost, and that was impossible.
“And this is a dream, child. What’s possible has no place here.”
I blinked as the tears started to burn my eyes again. “You mean…”
“Come here and hug my neck, girl.”
I lunged at her and wept as I felt her soft, warm body against mine.
“Oh Gram…” I started bawling, crying like I did the night she’d died—fresh, hot tears and painful sobs ripping out from my chest.
Gram made a soft, shushing sound as she held me to her.
“Let it out my little cat. Let it out and be free of it.”
I don’t want to be free of it. I want to drown in it and never come back.
“Don’t be an idiot,” she said and then gave the back of my head a non-too-gentle whack. “You have many good things to look forward to.”
I laughed through my tears. “You know this hearing my thoughts is really creepy.”
She sighed and kissed the top of my head. Somehow I’d fallen to my knees and she was now towering over me.
“Stormy and Bly say the same thing, but believe me… it makes things so much simpler.”
Is there anything simple?
“Yes,” she whispered into my ear. “Love can be very simple.”
I choked down a sob and took a deep breath. “Do you write Hallmark cards now?”
“There’s my little smartass.”
Off in the distance, a fire ignited. It was in the desolate valley of the skinwalker, where it had slept and woke from time to time over a vast millennium. The flames were weak, but they stood out in the dark of the night nonetheless.
“Will we be able to kill it this time?”
“Maybe. There’s always a chance. It’s not in a physical form, so it will be all the more difficult.”
I let the quiet of the moment stretch out, basking in the feel of holding the old woman in my arms. I loved her so damn much.
“Where’s mama?” I had given up the hope that daddy would ever come back. I really didn’t remember him much at all. But I needed mama to come home someday. I needed that hope like I needed air.
“She’s on a spirit quest of sorts.”
I looked up and gave Gram a skeptical look. “It’s always a quest of some kind with you.”
The edge of her weathered lips quirked. “Your mama gave up a lot of her dreams to keep you children together, to keep a roof over your heads and food on the table. Working double shifts and changing diapers when most girls her age were off at college or dating or being normal housewives.”
My brow drew tight in contemplation. “You mean she’s making up for lost time? Trying to find herself?”
“Something like that… or maybe she needs to find that who she is, is already better than most people ever get.”
I smiled. Gram saw things no one else ever did.
I snuggled against her as the wind blew hot and dry against us.
“She’ll be back soon,” Gram said, “so don’t worry about her. She knows the way home.”
My eyes slid closed and I breathed in grams soft, beautiful scent.
I’ve missed you so much.
She caressed my hair and made a tisk-tisk sound. “I’ve missed you too, my girl. I’ve missed you too.”
The wind sounded in my ears as sleep pressed in on me.
“Remember when you broke Sammy Hurts’ baseball bat with that fastball when you were a freshman?” Gram said.
I sighed happily as the memory filled me with the same pride as it had back then.
“You and mom said I couldn’t play anymore. That if I did that again I’d be telling the world I was a shifter.”
Gram chuckled and hummed softly. “Do you think you can do that again?”
I tried to say something, but I was already asleep.