Snow falls from the sky, soft like powdered sugar, as Annie and I make our way to the carriage house. Somehow my father has managed to get himself ingrained in my mind with that shaggy coat pulled over him, the fedora he’s been known to wear since I was a kid. Benji and I used to take turns putting it on while doing our best impersonations of our drunk of a father. You’re fucking stupid! You won’t amount to bear shit! That was our favorite line of his, but why bear shit we’d wonder? Benji reasoned it was because he thought we might be eaten by a bear one day. But Benji wasn’t eaten by a bear. He was eaten by concrete on the corner of Summerland and Pelt. My mood plummets as we get closer to the carriage house, and now I’m pissed at both my brother and father—but mostly Pops for being there tonight. That’s not the way I was hoping he’d meet Annie. I’m not sure what I was hoping for, but it sure as hell wasn’t that. Thank God he didn’t mention Olivia, but, then again, he was so high when she was around, I doubt he remembers anything about that tragedy in my life. He did mention the baby. I could hardly face Annie after that. I’m the one who needs to tell her everything. Me. The last person she needs to hear the ugly truth from is Pops and his rusty signing skills. Talk about life throwing you a curveball made of barbed wire. This one landed square in my nuts. It took me twenty minutes to catch my breath after he said his peace.

I glance over to Annie as the streetlight bathes her in a river of gold. I meant what I said. I want a future with Annie, and, one day, an entire tribe of children if we can swing it. It probably doesn’t help that I’ll be adding to our brood in just a few weeks—my brood. I shake my head into the long stretch of highway just before turning in towards Wyatt’s ranch. Everything in me screams tell her tonight. My heart breaks knowing that I’m about to shatter the illusion of who I am so soon after promising her forever. I’m not sure she’ll want anything to do with me after this. Forever is a goal for people who come in clean from the beginning. It’s not that I meant to keep things from her, but time kept slipping, and the moment just never felt right. The fact I’ve waited so long says a hell of a lot and none of it good. I’ve let fear grip me by the balls, and now I’m going to pay the price. Story of my life. Truth is, I can trace all this heartache right back to Ben’s death, but I think that’s the pussy’s way out. It’s time to own up and start talking.

We pull in front of the carriage house, and I kill the engine just staring at the tiny cottage like it was a waiting tomb. Annie leans in with a smile and licks a line up the side of my face.

I like where she’s headed, but, first, I believe I owe her something—the truth.

My teeth grind. My gut wrenches at the thought of knocking us right off the pedestal I’ve put us on. I rub my thumb over her cheek and drink down the affection in her eyes. Maybe it can wait until morning. My body is aching to make love to Annie about as bad as she’s letting me know she wants it. God knows I owe her whatever it is she wishes.

I push Olivia and the baby as far out of my mind as I can and carry Annie into the house as if it were our honeymoon. That’s exactly how I’m going to love her tonight—wild, unrestrained, unbridled as if this were our first night tied in holy matrimony, like it was our last night together. I think we might be caught somewhere in between.

Annie offers up a sweet moan straight into my mouth. My tongue goes off in her mouth wild with lust and a fury I have aimed at myself because these beautiful exchanges might be numbered. I’ve never wanted to hold onto anyone in my life the way I want to hold onto Annie. She’s made for me, and, in every single way, I belong to her. This, right here, is love. Annie in my life forever would complete me. It would fill the hole in my heart that Ben left behind, and I might even be able to do the unthinkable, live a big enough life for both my brother and me. I’m going to love harder, live faster, embrace each day with a renewed vigor because Ben isn’t able to. I owe him that much and more.

Annie tugs at my jacket, and it drops to the floor. Her fingers rake off my shirt before fiddling with my jeans. I lie her over the couch and pull back enough to catch her beautiful features glowing in the moonlight.

“I’ll make a fire.” I start to get up, and she pulls me back down.

“We will make our own fire,” she whispers. Annie’s eyes stay trained on mine as she clasps onto my shoulders. “Blake.” She says my name loud and purposeful. A breath gets caught in my chest. Her voice is soft and angelically sweet. Her tone is even and clear, and I’m shocked and thrilled to hear it. “I love you.”

“Annie.” A crushing swell of relief pours from me. There it is. My gift. I pull her into my arms, grinning from ear-to-ear. Tears come, and I don’t fight them. “I love you, too.” I smother her face with kisses before pulling back into a stream of moonlight. “Thank you. Your voice—that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. You’re perfect. I want to hear you all the time. Please—never hold back.”

She bites over her lip with a smile. Annie pulls me down into a kiss that’s fueled with emotion—with the start of our forever—with the magic she’s just dusted the room with by way of her voice. Annie is an angel in the way she looks, acts, and sounds. There isn’t a wicked or cruel bone in her body. It’s a miracle she even looked twice at me.

Olivia tries to claw her way to the forefront of my mind, but I’m on lockdown. Tonight is about Annie and me celebrating our love.

Our clothes disband as we tug and pull our way into oblivion. My hand rides low on her hip until I’m right there over the most tender part of her. Annie is soaking wet, happy to see me in the best way possible. My finger pushes inside her, my thumb working her folds just enough to start the party. I need to get her there tonight. It’s like my brain has thrown it out to my ego like some sick challenge, and in no way do I want to lose. All of the stars have lined up. This is our moment. I won’t let a single thing—a single person, least of all myself—ruin what we have. Every moment that we’ve ever shared is culminating in this one spectacular night, and to give Annie this gift would top it all off with a nice, neat bow.

I whisper a dozen I love yous right into her ear without giving it much thought. I can’t shut it off. I want to tell her I love her, that I need her, on a loop. The words demand to rip from my throat like a battle cry, like an apology. Her body writhes beneath me. Annie pulls away from my kisses as she gasps for air. She’s so close, and I want her to take it.

I get off the couch and drop to my knees, slinging her thighs over my shoulders and go for it. Annie is dripping wet, hot as a bonfire, and I bathe my face a moment before tracking my tongue up to right where it needs to be. Her fingernails dig into my shoulders. Her gasps grow with intensity, more audible by the moment. So close. I press in just enough, loving her with my entire being the only way I know how and don’t relent until she lets out one last audible cry. Annie shudders, locking her knees over my head, and I can’t help but smile right into her thigh. A heated gush comes from her. It’s my turn to take it, and I do—water for my thirsty soul.

Annie coils my hair in her fingers before forcibly pushing me off.

A dark laugh rattles from deep in my chest as I glide over her. I lean in to dot her lips with a kiss, but she turns away. I bury one in her temple instead before digging my face into her beautiful hair.

It’s quiet save for the sound of our heavy breathing, the drumming of our hearts. I want to ask her if she liked that, if she’s ready for more—tell her that I love her, but I’m soaking in the moment, enjoying the hell out of this too much to pull us out of it.

Our bodies fuse together. Annie was right. This erotic heat is all we need to keep warm.

We don’t need any assurances to fill the moment.

Annie and I have moved beyond words.

Our love is palpable, tangible, in every sense of the word, real.

Annie is my present—and she’s most certainly my future.

Olivia pops into my dark mind like a demon.

Point taken.

---

The next day, I take Annie back to Whitney Briggs. We hit her dorm first so she can shower and change. We didn’t want to get out of bed this morning, just made love again like we had the entire day to do it. I made breakfast for her this time, and we curled up watching morning TV. It felt natural, necessary as breathing. I’d move the entire mountain that Hollow Brook is set on just to have Annie in my bed nightly.

English is her only class of the day, so she asked me to hang out on campus until she’s through. I promised her a trip to our special spot just above the Witch’s Cauldron. I think that’s the place I’ll break both her heart and mine trying to explain the crap out of Olivia. I’m not sure there’s enough time in the world to relay exactly how and why that relationship came to be. For sure no one can break Olivia down into sound bites.

I head off toward the student union and pick up a catalog for spring semester. It’s already time to register, but I’ve yet to figure out if it will even be feasible. I’m not sure if Olivia will keep the baby for a few days then drop it off on my doorstep the first chance she gets or if I’ll be exiting the hospital with him myself. I might need to sit out the rest of the school year and save up for fall. I’ve already contacted the daycare center on campus. As long as I’m fulltime, they’ll watch him for a discounted rate that can be rolled into my student loans. The only reason I’m at Whitney Briggs is the scholarship I scored my senior year in high school. Both Benji and I qualified for financial aid to cover the rest. We were pretty determined to get our degrees. Watching our father roll in and out of AA all our lives pretty much solidified the fact we wanted out of our crappy neighborhood and away from good old Pops for good. Not for good. As much as he was spectacularly lame as a father, we loved him. Hell, I still do. Now Benji isn’t here, and I’m not in school. So much for all our scholastic dreams coming true.

“Daniels!” A male voice shouts, and I turn, looking into the crowd as the bodies merge into nearby buildings. Must have imagined it. The thick scent of coffee drifts from Hallowed Grounds, and I start heading in that direction. Just before I duck inside, a heavy hand falls onto my shoulder.

I turn to find the unwelcome mug of one of the Edwards brothers. Bryson. Next to him is his mirror reflection, Holt, with an equally pissed look just for me.

“What’s up?” I nod toward the growing line inside. “You guys want some coffee? I’m buying.” It’s a friendly gesture on my part, but judging by their long, hardened faces this isn’t a friendly visit.

“No thanks.” Bryson does a quick sweep of the campus. Half the staff at the Black Bear attends Briggs. I’m assuming he’ll want to keep the witnesses to a minimum when he slaughters me.

Holt nods to the parking lot, and we walk over in silence, me like a prisoner headed to death row. Hell, I won’t make it to death row. They’ll probably shank me before they speed the hell out of here.

I stop just shy of the forest adjacent to the lot. That’s it. I’m not giving another inch. If they want to pummel me in the bushes, they’ll have to drag me there first.

“Let’s have it. What’s this about? You want my balls on a platter? Tell me what the hell for.”

Holt comes at me and shoves me hard into the trunk of a pine.

A shooting pain knifes through my back as a branch impales me just below the shoulder.

“Shit.” I shove him the hell off me. I’m through with playing nice. I’m fucking pissed. I don’t really care if these idiots and I ever get along. “I’m not anybody’s bitch so hands off. Got it?”

“Yeah?” Holt laughs at me through squinted eyes. “What’s Annie to you? Is she your little bitch?”

Something in me stills. “What the hell’s gotten into you? Don’t talk about her like that.” I try to push past them, but Bryson stops me cold.

“What does Olivia Cameron mean to you?”

My heart stops. I don’t bother taking my next breath. Shit.

I hold my hands up. “What do you think you know?”

Bryson gives my shoulders a hard shove until I’m pressed into the tree again. I glance up at the sky as if it were Benji himself. I’m not sure why, but I wish he were here. Not to double-team the Edwards brothers, but to help me to get the twisted truth out.

“What do we think we know?” Bryson spits the words over my face. “We had a nice long chat with your ex-girlfriend—but she’s not really your ex is she? I mean she’s having your kid, so things aren’t that far in the past—are they?”

I swallow hard trying to process what comes next. Shit. I should have told Annie last night. I should have told her weeks ago.

“Let me tell her.” I don’t even bother trying to make them understand what’s happening between Olivia and me. There’s too much hate in their eyes, and I’m starting to understand why.

“No can do, buddy.” Holt looks as if he’s about to draw back and deck me, instead he closes his eyes and shakes his head. “So Annie doesn’t know.” He doesn’t hide his disappointment. “Shit. This is big, Blake. I thought for sure she knew and was hiding it.” He looks to Bryson for a second. “That’s what I get for defending you. Look, this isn’t little stuff that you can slip under the bridge. Olivia says she’s having this kid in just a few weeks. When were you planning on telling my sister?” His voice rises through the forest. It threads right through the branches as it spikes to the sky. I hope to God Benji is listening in—watching how fast my life has managed to unravel itself. A selfish part of me would really like for him to take part in this shit storm. “What were you going to do? Take her on a date to the hospital one night? Oh, by the way, Annie? See that kid? That’s mine.”

The rage in his eyes, both their eyes, makes me feel lower than worm shit.

“No.” I shake my head, my voice barely audible. “I was going to tell her today.”

“Bullshit!” Bryson gives me another hard shove. “You’re a fucking conman—a player who’s stringing Annie along for the ride. Dude, did you touch her? Why are you messing around with her? Can’t you see that Annie is special? She’s different.”

“Annie is special.” A rage brews in me because, all of a sudden, I want to knock their block heads together. “And not in the way you’re implying.”

I glance away for a moment, and one of them growls at me.

“Annie isn’t the fragile flower you pretend she is.” The words come out with a mean edge. “She’s a beautiful, grown, intelligent woman.” I lean back into the tree and watch as my breath plumes out with the fog. “I’ve really fucked things up, haven’t I?”

“Yes, you have.” Holt gives me a light sock to the arm. “Just when I was starting to like you.”

“And now?”

“And now you stay the hell away from my sister.”

Bryson pulls Holt back as they turn to leave. “Tell your band they can thank you for ending their run at the Black Bear. Tell them we’re sorry—but, as for you, the only thing we’re sorry about is the fact you met Annie. She doesn’t have room in her life for a pile of shit your size.”

They take off in the direction of Annie’s English class and sit on the steps outside the building like a couple of watchdogs. Then it hits me with the clarity that comes on a cold night when you realize that morning is on its way and there’s nothing you can do about it. I thought my life had fractured for the very last time when my brother died, I was wrong. There would be no coming back from this.

“Now what.” I look to the sky and wait for an answer.

But it doesn’t come.