Chapter 8
ZACH
I fling the last of my dirty clothes in the suitcase and zip it up. It’s strange to know that in a couple hours I’ll be leaving here without the girl I love and will never see her again. How stupid was I to believe what we had was real? I’ll never shake the image of another man touching her out of my head. I always knew I didn’t deserve happiness.
I scrub my hands over my face just as someone pounds on my hotel door. The only person that knows I’m here is Aubrey, but after the way I left her she’ll never come here. She probably hates me. The things I said were cruel and I wish I could take them back.
The entire situation in the restaurant got out of hand. When I saw Brady’s hand on hers, I flipped the fuck out. Images of rushing Brady and tackling him to the ground played over and over in my mind. It took everything in me not to do it. Poor bastard would’ve been leveled if he’d gotten me full force.
It probably wasn’t what I thought, but knowing that Aubrey’s father hated my guts coupled with the fact he was trying to take the only two things I still had left in this world—the band and Aubrey—flipped a switch inside me. Seeing Aubrey with Brady in that moment made me believe The Judge was right—she’s better off with someone else, and I still belong to Black Falcon.
The person on the other side knocks again and calls my name this time. “Riff? You in there?”
What the hell is Gabe doing here? On the way to the door I glance down at Aubrey’s suitcase and decide to take it with me. It’s better to just hand it over and avoid any little talk he wants to have about me hurting his sister. There’s no need for him to start a fight with me, defending her honor. I already know I’m a bastard.
I yank open the door and thrust the luggage out to him. “This is everything.”
Gabe pushes it back towards me with both hands. “I didn’t come here for here for that.”
I raise my pierced eyebrow. “I hope it’s not to talk, because Aubrey and I are done. There’s nothing else to discuss.”
Gabe shakes his head and licks the corner of his mouth like he’s trying to figure out what he can say without starting a war with me. “If you’re really this much of a dick, maybe I shouldn’t tell you what I came here to say.”
I brace my hand against the door jam. “You probably shouldn’t. I like you, and I don’t want this getting out of hand.”
He scratches the back of his head. “If I wasn’t so sure my sister fucking loves you, I’d be tempted to lay your ass out, but she does. I came here because I figured you can’t be a total fucking tool since she nearly died coming to try and keep you in her life.”
My chest tightens and suddenly it’s nearly impossible to breathe. “What did you say?”
Gabe nods. “She’s been in an accident. When I told her about your father, she picked herself up off the ground and took our dad’s car to come comfort you. She ran a red light and a truck side-swiped her.”
My throat closes up and I attempt to swallow to force some air into my lungs. I bend at the waist and brace my hands on my thighs and stare up at Gabe who watches me with wide eyes. My entire body shakes. “Is she alright?”
Gabe frowns and his eyebrows soften. “She’s in the hospital.”
I shoot straight up and grab Gabe’s shoulders. “Where is she? Take me to her!”
He smiles sadly. “It’s good to know you still love her, because she’s going to need you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Aubrey hasn’t woken up since they brought her into the hospital.”
I fall to my knees, the hotel door hitting my side. My girl—my Kitten—is hurt and it’s all my fucking fault. I close my eyes and the tears burn trails down my cheeks. If something happens to her, I swear to God I’ll never forgive myself.
I need to be with her. I need to be the one taking care of her. “Take me to her.”
Gabe grips my shoulder. “Come on. I’ll drive.”
We grab all the luggage from the hotel room, including the guitar that I never travel without, and head down to Gabe’s car. Once inside and on the road to the hospital, I catch myself fidgeting. My right leg bounces and I chew the skin on my right thumb. “Are they running tests?”
He bites his bottom lip as he makes a left hand turn. “They were doing a CAT Scan of her brain when I left.”
I sigh, hating being at the mercy of a bunch of doctors to make her better. “Do they have any clue why she won’t wake up?”
“No.” He grips the steering wheel a little tighter. “But a lot of times when people are unconscious for that long, it’s never a good sign.”
There are no words to even describe the amount of pain that floods every inch of my body. This can’t be real. This can’t be happening.
I take a deep breath and all the times I’ve spent with Aubrey flash through my mind. Her beautiful smile comes into focus—how it lights me up inside in a way I thought could never be again. Every day I thank God that Aubrey came with Lanie that night to the show for Center Stage. The moment I laid eyes on her everything changed forever. She completely rocked my world and pulled me out of the haze that was my life.
Thinking of my Kitten’s friend, Lanie it makes me wonder if she knows. “Did you call Lanie?”
Gabe shakes his head and I instantly fish my cell from my pocket. After a couple seconds, Noel’s number rings on the other end. “Hey, brother. Enjoying your time off?”
It’s good to hear Noel’s familiar voice. I open my mouth, but it’s hard to tell them about Kitten. If I don’t say it out loud, maybe it won’t be real.
“Riff? Man, you there?” Noel questions.
“Yeah…I’m here.” I hear the shake in my own voice. “It’s Aubrey.”
“Something wrong? You sound off.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. “She was in a car crash.”
“Fuck. Is she okay?” Concern is thick in his voice.
“She’s, um, oh God.” Tears erupt again. “She’s in the hospital. Her brother is driving me to her now. Jesus, Noel, she hasn’t woken up. If something happens to her…” I can’t even finish the sentence before I sob hysterically.
“Riff, put her brother on the phone. I need to find out where she is. Lane and I are coming to you,” Noel orders, and I hand over the phone to Gabe.
I drop my head into my hands and allow all the emotion I’ve been fighting to pour out of me. I can’t go through this again. I can’t loose another fucking person I love.
After Gabe gives Noel the information on where we’re at, he hands me back my phone and then pats me on the back. “You have to stay strong for her, man. Just let her know you’re there for her, and try anything you can think of to try and bring her around. Maybe if she hears your voice…”
I can hear the crack in Gabe’s voice, before he swallows hard. I know this is hurting him, too.
We make it upstairs to the hospital room in record time. Gabe marches on through, but I pause in the doorway and take a deep breath, trying to get my shit together. I need to stay strong for her.
The soft beep of the medical equipment echoes through the room. My eyes land on Aubrey’s beautiful face. A few scratches and cuts cover her face and arms. I lick my lips over and over to fight back the tears as my eyes take in the needles poking into her skin, feeding fluids into her tiny body.
I stand there frozen, unsure of what to do with myself. I want to take her place so fucking bad it hurts. She doesn’t deserve this. I shouldn’t have left her. I shouldn’t have said the mean and hurtful things I did. Those can’t be the last words that ever pass between us. They just can’t be.
A hand on my shoulder startles me. I’m so transfixed on Aubrey I don’t notice anyone else in the room. “Zach, honey, she needs you. Go to her. Tell her you’re here.”
I stare down at Mrs. Jenson as her words sink in. “What do I say?” I whisper, and I hate myself even more for not being strong enough to know exactly what to do in this situation.
“Tell her things from your heart. We need to pull her back from wherever she is and let her know there’s a good reason she needs to come back to us. We’ve all told her how much we love her.” Aubrey’s mom motions over to The Judge who sits in a chair in the corner, looking pale—a shadow of the man who I fought with hours before. “But I believe it’s you, Zach. You’re what she needs.”
Expressing myself has never been easy, and I always fuck up exactly what I want to say. Everything depends on this moment. I want her to wake up, and I want her to know how much she means to me. “Hey, Gabe. Can you bring my guitar up? I want to try something.”
He gives me a curt nod. “No problem.”
When Gabe rushes out of the room, I take a few steps and fall to my knees next to my Aubrey’s bed. I scoop her limp hand into mine and pull it to my lips. A few tears fall and I bury my face into the bed. I don’t know how long I stay like that, but before I know it, Gabe is back with my guitar.
“I’ll just set it here for you,” he says to me before turning to his parents. “Mom, Dad, I think we should give them a few minutes.”
The Judge first shows some resistance, but takes a long look at my face and nods, allowing Connie to push him out of the room behind Gabe.
Aubrey and I are alone.
I swallow hard as I push a strand of hair back from her face. “Baby, I need you. Please wake up.”
I hold my breath as I wait for her to open her eyes and smile at me just like she always does when she first wakes up, but nothing happens. I squeeze her hand harder and begin to pray, “God, please bring her back to me. I know I don’t deserve her, but she deserves to be here. I can’t go through this again. Please…” The desperation in my voice is unmistakable, but my prayer goes unanswered.
Going for another tactic I reach for my guitar, just as a short, dark-haired nurse enters the room followed by a tall, wiry doctor wearing glasses. The nurse gazes around the room as the doctor goes to work instantly examining Aubrey. She looks at me and asks, “Did her family leave?”
I nod. “They’ll be back any second.”
The doctor sighs as he pushes around on Aubrey’s stomach and there’s no reaction from her whatsoever. “I really need to speak to them about Aubrey. Can you call them and ask them to come back?”
Gabe answers on the first ring and informs me they’re just down the hall in the waiting area. I explain to him that the doctor is in the room and wants to speak with the family and he tells me they’ll be right down.
“They’ll be here any second,” I tell the doctor.
“Good.” His brown eyes flick up to mine under his gray, bushy eyebrows. “Are you family?”
I clear my throat and debate on saying I’m family too so I can hear whatever news they have to give, but decide to be honest. “I…um…I’m her boyfriend.”
He frowns and glances at the nurse before turning his attention back to me. “Then you’ll want to stick around for this.”
That surprises me. Usually non-family are the first to get the boot.
Mrs. Jenson walks in clinging to the Judge’s arm, while Gabe trails in behind them. They all look as drained as I feel. Heavy lines mar both of Aubrey’s parents’ faces, making them seem much older than they had merely a day ago.
“Is there any news, Dr. Bartley?” Aubrey’s mother asks with a hopeful tone.
The doctor leans back against the footboard of the bed, and folds his arms across his chest while he faces all of us. The nurse continues to work on the computer as he starts speaking, “There is news. It appears Aubrey has a slight brain bleed.”
Her parents both gasp next to me and her mother clutches her chest. “How bad is it?”
“It’s very small—only about five millimeters in size. The brain should be able to reabsorb that with little to no damage.”
“So why hasn’t she woken up?” I ask.
His gaze fixes on me. “We don’t know. We hope her this coma is just temporary, and that body her body is going to taking time to heal and will kick-start itself soon. All of her vitals are stable and there are no other concerns, but I have to ask—did you know she’s pregnant?”
My mouth drops open and tingle bursts open in my chest. “Did you just say pregnant?”
The doctor’s lips pull into a tight line. “She’s not very far from what I can tell—about three weeks if all the ultrasounds are correct.”
I shake my head as my entire body goes numb. “That can’t be. I’m sterile.”
The doctor grabs a chair, motioning for me to have a seat. “Why do you think you’re sterile?”
I rub the back of my neck. “I was in an accident when I was sixteen, and that’s what the doctors told me and my mom.”
He pats my knee. “We aren’t always right, you know. Congratulations, son. Looks like you’re going to be a father.”
Could he be right? It’s not like I’d ever tested the sterility thing with anyone else other than Aubrey. She’s the only girl I’ve ever had any unprotected sex with, and I know once we became exclusive she stopped her birth control because I’d told there was no point in using it with me. Is it possible? We’re they wrong before?
“I’m going to be a dad?” I ask timidly.
He smiles. “Yes.”
It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever felt so close to ever having something that was truly mine. I glance over to Aubrey lying in the bed, unmoving, and stare at her stomach. My kid is in there. We’re going to be a family. It’s crazy to know find out the same day I lost my father, I’m going to become one.
Panic instantly sets in. What if I’m not good enough to be a father? What if I fuck this up? I rest my elbows on my thighs and press my folded hands against my forehead. What if they don’t make it? I begin to cry as the knowledge that I might not get a chance if Aubrey doesn’t wake up.
I bat a tear away and turn my gaze to the doctor. “What can I do to make her pull out of the coma? I’ll do anything. Anything.”
He smiles. “Try anything you can think of. Talking to her about memories and things that mean the most to her might help bring her around.”
“I’ll do anything for her,” I say.
“I trust that you will.” He glances up at her parents. “We’ll continue to run a few more tests. They’ll start later on this evening if there’s no improvement. Any other questions?”
They all shake their heads and the doctor excuses himself from the room.
The Judge turns to me and I instantly bolt up from the seat, ready to kick his ass if he wants to try and fight with me over this. Aubrey doesn’t need to hear that.
He takes quick steps over towards me and I throw my hands up, ready to fight, but instead of attacking me like I thought he wraps his arms around my shoulders. The powerful Judge squeezes me tight as he begins to weep. “You do whatever you have to and bring her back. I know you love her just as much as she loves you. I see it. If anyone can bring her out of this, it’s you. I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time before. I wanted her to be with someone who loves her.”
“I do love her—with all my soul,” I answer.
He pulls back. “I know you do. I understand that now.” The Judge claps my shoulder and smiles at me sadly before heading for the door. “Come on, Connie. Let’s give the man some time alone with our girl.”
Mrs. Jenson kisses my cheek and then pats it with her fingers, before following her husband and Gabe out of the room.
I lick my lips and bend down to open the case before pulling my guitar out. I drag a chair next to her bedside and stare at her. She reminds me of a princess caught up in a sleeping spell, waiting on a kiss of true love to awaken her. Hopefully, I’m that man for Aubrey.
I strum the guitar and a song that spoke to me a lot when I was going through some major issues comes to mind. It’s not until I play the first lick on the strings that I realize how fitting it is for how I feel about Aubrey.
I slow the rhythm down a bit and say, “The Cure helped me make it through the death of my mom and sister, but Lovesong takes a whole different meaning when I think about you.”
My fingers slide down the neck of the guitar as I sing about how when I’m with her she makes me feel whole again. She’s filled a hole in me that I didn’t know was possible to fix, and made me understand that I’m worth loving. That I mean something and my life isn’t just one huge fucking mistake.
I continue to sing as I think about her and our unborn child growing in her belly, and how much I need them both—more than I ever needed anything. “I will always love you.”
I pick out the last few chords and set the instrument up against the wall. I stand and press my lips to hers. When she doesn’t even flinch, I flop back down in the chair and lay my head on the bed. The tears start again. It’s like I have no fucking control over them any more. This grief is too much to fight. The puddle on the bed grows as they keep flowing.
“Please, Kitten. I love you. Don’t leave me. I can’t take it,” I whisper. “We’re having a baby. Did you hear that? I know I might not be exactly the best father material in the world, and I’m scared out of my fucking mind that’ll I screw things up, but damn it, Aubrey I want that chance. Please come back, baby,” I plead with her, willing life to spark into her.
Her fingers twitch against my cheek and I jerk my head up and stare at her fingers fighting to move. I know I should call for the nurse, but I don’t want to risk them coming in here and pushing her away again.
I jump up and kiss her smooth cheek. “Please, baby, come back to me.” The monitor beeps pick up speed and my heart thunders. “That’s it. Fight for us. Fight for our baby. Give me a chance to try and be a father—to be the man I know I can be for you.”
Her entire hand jerks as soon as the words leave my mouth and I gasp—it’s working. I smooth her hair back from her face. “I love you, baby—so fucking much. Don’t you dare think about leaving me.”
Aubrey’s eyelids flutter as she struggles to wake up. “Can you hear me, Kitten? I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere.”
The monitor’s erratic pace starts slowing down as her body relaxes and she blinks slowly before she opens her eyes. Her lips part and she whispers my name, “Zach.”
I grab her hand and kiss it over and over as I smile and cry at the same time. “I’m right here. I’m right here.”
She nods. “It was you. I heard your voice, singing to me. It pulled me in and I had to follow it. It lead me back to you.”
“I’m so sorry for how I left you. You belong with me. I’m never going to be an idiot and leave your side again. There’s no getting rid of me now,” I tell her. “It’s you, me, and our baby forever. You’re all the family I need.”
She stares up at me with wide green eyes. “Our baby?”
I bite my bottom lip and hold my ring between my teeth. “You’re three weeks pregnant. They found out when they were running a bunch of tests on you.”
Tears leak down her cheeks. “We’re going to have a baby? I thought you…”
I shake my head. “They were wrong. We’re going to be a family.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, it hits me that after all these years I’m getting what I’ve always wanted—a family that loves me, and I love back just as much.
I wrap my arms around her and we cry together. “I love you, Kitten.”
When I pull back she touches my cheek. “And I love you. Forever.”