Chapter 8
Frieda bent over her sewing, but she couldn’t make the needle obey her. No matter what she tried, it slipped out of place and stabbed her in the finger, or the thread tangled and went where she didn’t want it. She couldn’t stop thinking about whatever was happening out there in the meadow. After hours of trying, she threw the cloth on her table and paced around the room.
At least it was dark outside. She didn’t have to worry about seeing the convocation outside her door. But she couldn’t rest. She paced around the room. Had she missed anything vitally important by staying away? Would the Aqinas resent her sleeping with Deek and then shunning their most sacred institution? Was she in or out? Was she under the water or was she on land? She had to make up her mind once and for all and stand by her decision.
She lay down on her bed, but her mind wouldn’t let her sleep. Deek wasn’t there to rock her to sleep. Would he ever come back? He kept insisting the convocation was optional, so why did she doubt it?
The first dawn light filtered down through the surface of the water to light the meadow. A brisk wind gusted over the waving grass and flowers. It blew the scent of warm soil and verdant fields to her. The soft wind and subtle smell calmed her as much as she could be calmed on this knife-edge of indecision. She stepped out of her house and set off through the forest.
She steered well clear of Sasha’s house and struck deep into the heart of the seaweed into a part of the Aqinas territory where she’d never ventured before. The trees blocked out most of the light, but as the day grew overhead, she could see enough to make her way.
The plant life changed. Different colored flowers clustered by her path. They looked more like anemones, and spiky balls rolled along the ground in the wind. A yellow flower on a thick stalk drew its roots out of the rocky soil and tiptoed across the ground. The longer she spent in the Aqinas world, the more it lost its Earthlike appearance and looked like the bottom of the ocean. Maybe in time even the pretense of the meadow and the air around her would disappear. Maybe in time she would accept her situation enough to see this world as it truly was. She wouldn’t need the fantasy anymore. Would that be so bad? She would have to ask Sasha what she saw in the meadow. Did she see wind blowing through grass and wildflowers, or did she see water waves and coral banks?
How long and how far she walked, she didn’t know, but walking didn’t answer her questions for her. The decision would never get any easier, yet she couldn’t reject one world in favor of the other, or make one people more important to her than the other. Whichever way she turned, the one she left behind called her back until she didn’t know which direction to turn.
All at once, she came to herself and looked around. She didn’t recognize the forest. She’d wandered away from familiar territory. She walked back the way she came with a faint hope she would find the meadow and the village and her house again.
Full day streamed through the waving tree tops. The plant life changed again, and she began to recognize her own territory again. Her spirits soared. She would see Deek and her friends again, and her old familiar meadow and her quaint little house. The whole Aqinas territory beckoned to her with such a loving and nourishing embrace. It was her home as much as anything on Earth. Nothing on Angondra could touch it for its nucleus of perfect comfort and ease.
She quickened her step. She couldn’t get there fast enough. What would she find waiting for her? Probably no one would have noticed her gone. She might have been gone only a few minutes, but to her, she was coming home after an eternity of wandering in the wilderness. They say home is where they have to take you in, and the Aqinas would take her in. Not only Deek, but his relatives, and Sasha and Fritz, and all the other Aqinas would rejoice at her return. No one else on Angondra would do as much. She couldn’t even be sure she could show her face in any of the other factions.
That wasn’t true, though. The Lycaon and the Avitras would both welcome her back, but who could compare to the Aqinas? Who had come out to welcome her with song and dance and laughter? Who had made her so settled and at home? No one.
A light broke through the trees, and she caught a glimpse of the meadow beyond. She could live in that meadow for the rest of her life and never get tired or bored with it. She loved her little house, especially with Deek in it, and Sasha proved she never had to leave it if she didn’t want to. She even loved the frustration of her sewing. She only needed a few lessons from Jen to make it enjoyable. She might even try some other kind of work—pottery, perhaps.
A shadow crossed her view, and a figure stepped out from behind the trees. His eyes flew to her face, but he didn’t smile. His jaw tensed, and his shoulders stiffened. Frieda walked faster until she almost ran. He strode through the trees with stiff tread, his hands flexed and his muscles tensed. Frieda’s heart fluttered. She didn’t belong anywhere but with him. She never had to see the land or her sisters or breathe the upper air again as long as she could catch him and hold him.
She broke into a run. She stumbled and ran on. He didn’t run, but he pushed toward her with all his power. She gasped for breath to run faster, to get to him sooner, to erase the distance between them forever. A cry broke from her throat, not quite a sob, not a laugh, but something unknown, a call for him to bury her under the ocean, never to be seen again.
Then their bodies collided at full force, and their arms flung around each other in desperate need. Deek lifted Frieda off the ground and crushed her in his embrace. She pressed him closer to her with every ounce of her strength, but he was still too far away. She could never get close enough to him to satisfy her. She caught at him with her legs, and he lifted her the rest of the way to sit with her legs around his hips.
He sank his teeth into her neck and growled. She nipped his ear. She grasped the back of his head and pushed him down into her. As fast as he consumed her, it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough until the water dissolved them completely and mingled their molecules in its solution.
He staggered forward under her weight, but neither slackened their grip one iota. He walked one way and then the other. She paid no attention. She burned in feverish desire for him. She no longer cared where or how he took her as long as she was his. She no longer held out any hope for anything but him.
He slammed her back against a tree trunk and knocked the breath from her lungs, but she only clung tighter to him with all four limbs. He held her against the tree with his body and tore at her clothes with his hands. The tender caution of last night vanished in the wind, leaving raw animal desire in its place. She clawed his shirt away with ravenous fury, but she couldn’t reach anything else. No matter. Deek handled the rest. He didn’t bother with her shirt but went straight for her pants, and then his own.
He exposed only those parts of their bodies needed to bring them together in wet contact. Then everything else vanished in explosions of light and heat. Frieda raised her voice to the treetops, and Deek howled into her ear until he couldn’t keep his legs rigid against the tree anymore. They sank to the ground in harmonized groans and fell into unconscious bliss.
Frieda’s eyes hovered half open. Waves of energy sparkled over her skin and through her body as if every tissue sizzled with independent life. For a moment, she could believe she dissolved in water, and her cells floated away in a diffuse cloud to the limits of the ocean.
The wind turned cold, and Frieda shivered. Deek stirred on top of her, but neither moved. Frieda blinked up at the sky. The sun slipped behind the canopy, and the shadows deepened. Deek sighed and shifted on top of her. Then he cleared his throat.
“Do you have to go?” she asked.
“I don’t have anywhere to go but home,” he replied.
Frieda let out a shaky breath. Home—where was that? Was it her little house, or was it the family house in the village? What difference did it make? One was as home as the other. She no longer cared where she went.
Deek murmured into her ear. “Come with me.”
She blinked, and her vision cleared. “Where?”
He pulled back and studied her. “I’m going to the village. I’m going to my family. Come back to the village and stay there with me.”
Her cells congealed once again into a body she could inhabit. “I’ll come. I'll come anywhere with you.”
He stared at her, but didn’t respond. Then he buried his face in her neck again with a long sigh. The heat of their union dissipated and left them cold. They clung to each other for warmth, but the cold came from inside them, from being separated. “We should go soon.”
She ran her fingers into his hair, “Let’s go.” But they made no move to get up.
He held himself still against her chest and waited. When he finally spoke, his voice quivered. “Are you sure?”
She pushed him back and gazed deep into his eyes. “I’m sure. Let’s go. I want to.”
He rose on his elbows to give her room to get up. She wriggled back into her pants. How coarse and unwieldy they were. The Aqinas’ white gown was much more practical and comfortable. She would have to find one for herself.
Deek got to his feet, too, and they set off through the forest. Frieda slipped her hand into his and smiled at him when he raised his eyebrows. Everything was right. Nothing could spoil her certain solidity of mind. She’d found her place at last.
When they emerged from the forest, the sun broke through the treetops once again and warmed Frieda through. She raised her face to the sky and drank in the beauty of the meadow with its smell of flowers. She cast her eye back toward her little house, but it no longer called to her. Her home was elsewhere, with Deek.
“Do you want to stop by and pick anything up?” he asked. “What about your sewing? You could bring it with you.”
She shook her head. “I’ll come back for it later.”
They walked on without a word in undisturbed tranquillity. Frieda caught sight of the village ahead, and her heart laughed in pure joy. No one could ask for a better home or kinder people. What more could life offer but family, and work and comfort?
They rounded the corner of the forest, and Jen came out of her house. Frieda smiled up the hill at her. Then Sasha and Fritz came out of another house. Deek stopped. Frieda looked at him. “What’s the matter?”
He stared up at the village. More people came out of their houses. They joined hands and filed down the hill. More and more people took their places at the end of the line until hundreds of people, from every doorway, descended the hill and passed Deek and Frieda. Frieda stared at them. The front of the line turned the corner and disappeared into the meadow. More and more people, people she didn’t recognize, flooded the village byways and joined the procession.
Frieda could barely choke out a whisper. “What’s going on?”
“It’s the convocation,” Deek murmured.
“You just had one last night,” Frieda pointed out. “Why are they having another one?”
Deek shook his head, but at that moment, Trin burst out of the house and hurried toward them. “Come quick, both of you!”
“What’s happening?” Frieda asked.
“It’s the factions,” Trin told her. “The Felsite and the Ursidreans are meeting on the frontier. They’re making peace.”