Success.
Miranda stalked back and forth in her Italian hotel room, trying to figure out why the hell she felt so agitated when it had all worked out perfectly. Perfectly, damn it.
Her bare feet slapped along the hardwood floors.
This was all Bennett’s fault. She’d been all stirred up all season. Distracted. Anxious. Uncertain. She hadn’t been herself and it had all started when Bennett had swooped into her life and set everything off balance.
And now he wasn’t even speaking to her because of the incident with the hospital in Ohio. Which had all worked out fine, thank you very much.
“Damn it.”
She pulled out the Italian cell phone Todd had procured for her. She didn’t even know if the damn thing would make international calls. If it didn’t, she’d take it as a sign. A sign that she should not, in any way, shape, or form, be talking to Bennett Lang.
The call went through. One ring. Two.
She didn’t even know what time it was in LA. Morning, sometime. Late enough to be decent. He was probably in a meeting—
“Bennett Lang.”
He never answered the phone like that when he knew it was her, but then he didn’t know it was her. She was using an Italian cell. Would he have answered if he knew it was her?
“Hello?” he repeated, irritation creeping in.
“Bennett, it’s me. Um, Miranda.”
He paused for so long she looked at the phone to make sure she hadn’t lost the connection.
“Miranda. I take it your show has wrapped principal photography and you have time to give a shit about me now.”
She winced. “Okay, I deserve that, but hear me out, okay?”
Another pause. “I’m listening.”
“I sort of lost my way this season. I know that now.” Crap. She didn’t know what else to say. She’d never been good at the touchy feely shit. Orchestrating it, sure. But living it? “I didn’t shoot in the hospital. Well, okay, one shot and it was a fucking money shot, but other than that we were really respectful.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” His voice wasn’t softening. She’d really hoped his voice would be softening by now. He usually couldn’t stay mad at her. He was the patient one. The forgiving one.
“I felt out of balance all season because…” Shit. Words. There had to be words. What would the show coach her to say? “I didn’t know how to process what I was feeling for you.” Yeah, that was good. “I tried to force the show to be a perfect love story because I didn’t know how to handle… us. And fuck, I still don’t know how to handle it, Bennett. I don’t know how to be with you. It was easier to just say fuck it and walk away, but I’m miserable without you. I’ve been a fucking mess and I know that’s not a ringing endorsement for giving me another shot, and I’m still mad as hell about what you said to me in Ohio. The parasite on society stuff. But I just really miss you and I—damn it, I love you, okay? And I’m not good at that. I’ve never been good at that.”
“Miranda.” Her name in his voice, his warm voice, stopped the tide of words. “Where are you?”
“Um, just north of Rome?”
“When do you get back to LA?”
“I don’t know. Todd arranged the flights. I delegated.”
Bennett laughed softly. “Good for you.”
“Yeah.”
“When you land in LA, call me and I’ll meet you at your place, okay?” His voice was low and soothing, like he was talking down a madwoman. And maybe he was.
“You aren’t back together with your ex?”
“Miranda,” her name was a scold. “Don’t be an idiot.”
She almost laughed, so relieved that she might still have a shot with him. “I’m not sure I know how to be anything else right now.” She sank down on the edge of the hotel bed. “This is scary.”
“I’ll be seeing you soon,” he promised. “I have something to say to you, but I’m going to say it in person.”
“Why not tell me now?”
“Because I know you, Miranda Pierce, and I’m not going to give you a transatlantic flight to parse every inflection of my voice and freak out about every word choice. We’ll talk in person. Soon.”
“Soon.” That sounded pretty good. And it was probably for the best. Telling him she loved him was one thing. Hearing him say it back? She wasn’t sure she was ready for that quite yet. She’d take the flight to get used to the idea. He really did know her quite well. Love was a scary thing. But sometimes you just had to go with it.