Manny and Max

 

“What’s wrong with my tie?” Manny looked down at it.

Romero stared at him through the rear view mirror. “Nothing, but we’re going to Moreno’s. It’s not that fancy. You don’t need a tie.”

“I think purple suits you.” Aida just had to put in her two cents.

Ever since they’d gotten hitched, where Manny went—Aida went. He wasn’t having it any other way. So Isabel would be meeting the whole lot of them tonight. Max was meeting them there, since he was working a little late.

“Yeah, I think so, too.” Manny agreed with Aida. “And it matches my belt.”

Romero sighed. Manny and Max wanted to go the Lucky Dragon but he managed to convince them to go to Moreno’s. His uncles knew this was Romero’s friend’s family restaurant so they at least attempted to tone down the language when they ate there. They still slipped but if they started getting carried away and Romero had to remind them to knock it off, they’d think it was because of the restaurant and not Isabel.

When they got to Isabel’s apartment he opened the door. “You guys don’t have to get out. I’ll be right back.”

“Just remember, I’m a fat man and it’s fucking hot back here, so hurry up.”

Romero slipped the keys back in the ignition and started up the car again, blasting the air. The last thing he needed was to come back to the car to his sweating uncle cussing his ear off. “There—air’s on. I’ll be back.”

Isabel was at the door when he got there. He loved seeing her in a dress. Not that she didn’t look sexy as hell in jeans but there was something so feminine about her in a dress. The one she wore tonight was simple white cotton dress that hugged her just below her breasts, then flowed down to her knees. Seeing her in white made Romero wonder just for an instant what she would look like in a wedding dress.

He kissed her. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She turned around and locked her door.

It had been a week since he’d met her mom and sister and he still wasn’t quite over Pat’s comments. But Isabel hadn’t brought up her sister since then so maybe everything would work out as long as he didn’t have to be around her too often. “My uncles are a lot different than your family.” He’d already told her this but for some reason he felt the need to remind her.

She squeezed his hand. “I don’t want them to be like my family.”

“I’ll tell you another time.” The more he knew about Isabel the more he wondered if she should know everything about him. Some things didn’t need to be said.

Just as they reached the car, the back window went down and Aida’s gum flew out, missing them by inches. “Oops, did I gitcha?”

“No, you didn’t,” Isabel said with a smile.

Romero muttered under his breath. “Aida, this is Isabel. Isabel this is my Uncle Manny’s wife.” He leaned over a bit. “And that’s Manny back there.”

Nice. Let her know you were checking her out. Isabel got in the car and Romero walked around to the driver’s side, wondering if this was such a good idea after all.

“Yeah, them little fuckers think they know everything.” Manny patted the seat behind Romero. “I remember when Moe was that age. Son of a bitch if he wasn’t a smartass. Luckily, Ma—God rest her soul—knew how to crack a whip. Otherwise he might’ve ended up like his dad.”

“No, I wouldn’t have! She was around when he was a kid and he still ended up like he did.” Isabel squeezed his hand but said nothing. This was a fucking mistake. They hadn’t even gotten to the restaurant and already his uncle had brought up the last thing he wanted to talk about.

“Maybe,” his uncle said, not even noticing he’d pissed off Romero. “But this guy was a knucklehead,” Manny laughed. “Did he ever tell you about the time he was trying to figure out how the fire extinguisher worked and he sprayed himself in the face?”

Aida cackled Manny wheezed. Great. Fucking Great. Was he going to break out with the naked baby pictures, too?

By the time they’d reached the restaurant Isabel had heard all the stupid shit Romero had done in middle school. Manny was getting ready to start with high school. Luckily, Manny and Romero got out of the same side of the car. Romero grabbed his arm and spoke low. “Will you can it with all the dumb shit I did? I’m trying to impress this girl, not make her think her boyfriend’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, he’s a real comedian. Just wait ‘til you meet the other one.” God this was going to be a long night. And to think he never gave a shit what anyone thought of his uncles. With Isabel, it was different. He’d hate for her to realize just how different her life was from his—maybe too different.

They were seated at one of the bigger tables. Manny was doing his usual drumming of his fingers on the table as he looked through the menu. Romero nudged him casually. “What?”

Isabel looked up from her menu and Romero smiled at her then leaned into Manny. “Will you stop with the fingers? It’s irritating.”

Manny frowned but stopped. Alex walked over with Max. “Hey, the whole family is here.” After all the hellos and introducing Max to Isabel, he took his seat, and Alex asked, “So are you guys ready to order? I can send someone over, or you need more time, Max?”

“Nope,” Max said, sitting back in his seat. “I already know what I want—the usual—chimichanga plate.”

After confirming everyone was ready, Alex said he’d put Max’s order in and send over the waiter to take the rest of the orders.

Max dipped a tortilla chip into the salsa. “There was a thing at the bar today. Cops had to be called. I don’t know if you wanna talk about it now or not but that’s why I’m a little late.”

“Talking about it later is better.” Romero gave him a look. He’d told Isabel about his uncles bar but left out the part about the topless waitresses.

“Thing? What kind of thing?” Manny put his menu down.

Fuck.

“Some dick thought just ‘cause he’d tipped one of the girls a fifty he could feel her up, so she slapped him. When he tried getting his money back she told him to go fuck himself. He was drunk and got all stupid and shit. The guys try throwing him out and he starts makin’ a scene and demanded the cops be called ‘cause our waitress stole his fucking fifty.”

“You should’ve had the fucker arrested for feeling her up. They’re there to look, not touch.”

Romero was beginning to cringe every time his uncles cussed. Without even looking up from his menu he warned, “Will you guys watch the language? Remember where we’re at.”

Max winced, leaning down to touch his leg. Manny looked at him and for a moment it gave Romero hope that he got it and maybe they’d be cool it finally. “Yeah, Max. Maybe we should wait ‘til we get home to talk about this.”

The waiter arrived with their drinks. “I’m told you’re ready to order.”

They all started putting in their orders. The waiter wasn’t even done taking their orders when Max said, “Well it’ll have to wait until tomorrow then, because I’m going out tonight. I need to get me some.”

Romero downed half his beer. “Can I get another one of these?” he said to the waiter then added, “And a shot.”

Isabel stroked his leg under the table and smiled at him. He could tell she meant to reassure him, but he was beginning to wonder if he’d survive this night.

Once their dinner was served, it helped to lessen the talking, so things seemed to settle down, though it wasn’t without its moments. Like when Max spoke with a mouthful of food not bothering to even cover it with his hand or a napkin. Then there was Aida’s snorting at most of Manny the Comedian’s jokes. Romero had begun to count them—five so far. Isabel seemed to be having a good time, but it amazed Romero how he’d never realized just how crude his uncles were. Growing up he thought they were hilarious, just like all his friends did. He couldn’t even imagine having this bunch in the same room with Isabel’s family. Pat would have a field day.

Things got worse when they finished dinner. The belching started. After the third one Romero had had it. “Can you stop that already?”

“Hey, it’s gotta come out one way or another,” Manny said, pounding the side of his fist on his chest. “You pick your poison.”

Jesus.

By the time the night was over and he drove Isabel home, he felt beat up. With all the cringing he’d done; he’d actually got a work out. They got to her apartment and he took her in his arms just outside her door. “Tell me I don’t cuss as much as my uncles do.”

“You do. But,” she added quickly when she saw his jaw drop. “I’ve noticed you haven’t been doing it so much lately.” Then she laughed. “And I totally get now where you got it from.” She cupped his face with her hands. “It doesn’t bother me, but if it bothers you, I can start pointing out when I feel like you’re going into one of your cuss modes. Sometimes I think you really don’t even realize it. Like your uncles, it’s just their natural way of talking.”

“I never noticed how bad it was. When I was younger, it used to piss me off when they got dirty looks from people in public places.”

They walked into her apartment. As usual, Valerie wasn’t home—probably with Alex again. They went straight to her bedroom. He wasn’t spending the night, just saying goodnight. And showing her how much he appreciated that she hadn’t run away after meeting his family.

 

***

 

Isabel waited several days to bring up what she was hoping Romero would bring up on his own. They sat on the sofa in his apartment getting ready to watch a movie they’d rented. “Are you ever gonna tell me about your dad?”

Romero looked up from the back of the DVD case he’d been reading and shrugged. “He’s been in jail most of my life. I don’t know much about him, so there’s not much to tell.”

“What’s he in jail for?” She hated talking to him about things that wiped the eternal humor off his face. But this was something she knew had to be important to him even though he didn’t want to admit it. She’d heard it in his voice, seen it in his face the day he snapped at his uncle when he brought up his dad. She wanted him to be able to share not just the good, but the bad with her as well.

“Drugs—first trafficking, then his stupid ass finally gets out and he gets thrown back in just a few months later for possession.”

She took his hand and kissed his knuckles one by one in an attempt to soothe him. He was suddenly so tense. “How long is he in for?”

He sat back. “Lets see.” He counted on his fingers. “Wow, he’s already done five years. So I don’t know, maybe another three or four years if he doesn’t keep fucking up. They almost tacked on another five ‘cause he beat the shit outta someone in there. The guy nearly died. My uncles say it’s what got him in so much trouble growing up. His fucking temper—”

“You’re doing it again.” She rubbed his hand and tilted her head. “Cuss mode.”

“Well then lets not talk about him anymore.” He stood up and walked to the DVD player. “Because I don’t think I can without cussing.”

“Okay, what about your grandma, tell me about her.”

He turned to look at her. The smile was back. Isabel was so relieved. “Oh, she was the bomb. I never knew my mom. From what I’m told she was one of the druggies my dad sold to. So when she had me the state immediately gave custody to my grandmother since my dad was in jail, and she raised me. Well, her and my uncles, but I always felt like my uncles were my much older brothers, especially because they’d get scolded as often as I did.” He laughed. “Believe it or not, she hated it when we cussed. So you know we heard it a lot. But she said my grandpa was worse than all of us. That’s where my uncles got it from.”

After putting the DVD in the machine he walked back, remote in hand and sat down next to Isabel. He filled her in on his childhood with his grandma, laughing all the while. She was glad to hear that her passing wasn’t too excruciating for him. Alzheimer’s took her life when he was in the eleventh grade, while hard, he said it had been more of a relief since she’d been sick for years.

“Manny took it bad. He talks all tough, but the guy’s not afraid to cry.” Romero shook his head. “He was a mess at the funeral.”

To Isabel’s surprise, a smile spread across Romero’s face. “He’s not just emotional about sad things either. He cried at his own wedding,” Romero chuckled. “And most of my graduations or any picture-worthy milestones.”

Isabel thought of her own dad and how cold and indifferent he’d always been. Romero’s uncles weren’t without their flaws but one thing she noticed right away was the way his uncle spoke of Romero. He seemed to rejoice in telling all those stories of him growing up. Each one he told was as if it happened just yesterday. All the funny things Romero had done over the years were still with him and she could almost feel just how much he’d enjoyed them. Even if the stories were mostly of Romero being a knucklehead, he obviously cherished the memories.

She leaned into Romero. “I like your uncles.”

He pulled away to look at her. “You do?”

She smiled knowing how apprehensive he’d been the night she met them. He literally froze when his uncle brought up what happened at the bar. “Yes, I do. But tell me,” she grinned. “Is their bar a stripper bar?”

She saw the surprise in his eyes. “Not a stripper bar but… the waitresses go topless.” She could see he waited for her reaction.

“I had a feeling it was something like that.” She looked straight into his eyes. “Just like you said before, so your uncles are a little rough around the edges. And reading up a little on what Ms. Manners has to say about dinner etiquette and the overkill of the F bomb wouldn’t do them any harm.” She laughed. “It might do them some good but they’re good guys. They love you and that alone will make me love them. Don’t worry about me judging them for the type of business they run or their mannerisms, okay? I’m not my sister. Please remember that.”

Isabel laughed. “I’m am not.”

“Yes. You are.” Romero threw the remote on the floor and attacked her. The movie would have to wait until later.