Chapter Seventeen
Layla
The wait was agonizing. What was I even waiting for? No one knew where I was. It wasn’t like Ryder was going to rescue me, even if he did know where I was. This wasn’t a movie. Ryder wasn’t a badass super hero. Ryder was just a guy. A totally hot, funny, smart guy. Who played guitar like a freakin’ badass. His singing was amazing as well.
Not the most productive thing to be thinking about at the moment, but what else was there to think about? It wasn’t like I had anything else to do. My phone had gone silent. Ryder had stopped texting. That thought made me sad. My last conversation with him, I had been drunk. I had been drunk when I yelled at him. The alcohol hadn’t dulled the pain of his rejection. Although, now that I was sober, maybe seducing him in the middle of his panic attack probably wasn’t the best way to make a move.
Going home with someone else wasn’t my smartest idea either. The guy wasn’t even that interesting. He simply wanted a quick blowjob in the parking lot in exchange for the ride home. Easy enough and it beat trying to walk home when I could barely see straight, much less walk straight.
I really needed to stop doing that. I wanted to stop using my body to survive. I wanted to actually do something productive for the world. Singing to Ryder’s CDs had been some of the most fun I’d had in since before my parents died. Even when I felt him watching, I felt happy. I was secretly glad he saw. I had hoped I’d get to sing with him one day. But here I was, just a sex slave again.
I used to be Devin’s favorite. He’d picked me up at a bar and paid the dude I’d been staying with for me. I’d been there when the transaction took place. It didn’t surprise me. I knew what I was. I was an item to be bought and sold. The only way I felt less like an item was when I ran. If I decided when I left, maybe I wasn’t such a waste. Maybe I was worth something.
Devin quickly recognized my talent for stealing from guys. He put me to work as a drug peddler. I sold mostly to guys, if they paid in cash. Devin gave strict orders not to allow sexual favors as a form of payment.
That was the most commonly asked question on my list. Did I accept sex for drugs? The answer was always no. That was why Devin liked me. I was loyal to him. Even when the guys were violent. They didn’t like paying in cash. Most of them didn’t touch me once they knew who I ran with. Others tried their luck. Devin would send someone to deal with them the next day.
I learned to never ask questions. Just do as I was told. Before I knew it, I was pulled from the small room I’d shared with five other girls where we’d slept on the floor into Devin’s bed. He had other women in his bedroom during the day but most nights I got to sleep there. It was nice to sleep in a bed again.
Which was why I liked Ryder’s place. It was nice not to be pressured into anything and to sleep in my own bed if I wanted. Of course, sleeping alone was tough. I missed feeling someone next to me. Even though most of the people who I stayed with weren’t always nice, they rarely were, I missed that sense of protection. I needed it. I craved it.
Ryder never threatened to hurt me. I realized that it wasn’t protection I missed. It was him. He was the embodiment of the protection I was missing. Tears welled up in my eyes. I’d never get to thank him for everything. Letting me stay in his home, even though he was taking a big risk by taking in a stranger with a drug problem. Saving my life. Making me a better person just by being himself. He was incredible.
I sighed. At least he’d have Lilly to remember me. If he didn’t toss her in a box or something. After all, to him, she was just junk. A reminder of the few weeks he opened his home to a stranger who left without saying a word and left a pile of stolen money, which he probably had already handed over to the police.
Meanwhile, they’d find my lifeless, bruised body in this room because I was never leaving. That was my life. I ran, but I never actually left the situation.
That stopped now. I would run from this life. I made that promise the minute Ryder forced me to wake up and stop using. I would make it out and I would have more moments like the one with Ryder’s CDs. A fire sparked to life in the pit of my stomach, warming me from the inside. No more pity party. I was getting out of here.
“You’re so beautiful, Lay-lay.” Devin stroked my hair. “I missed you. I really wished you hadn’t made me angry. Now someone else will take your place in my bed, maybe even as my favorite.” He wiggled his eyebrows, like that meant something. The only thing that meant was some poor girl was going to be groomed to be his lap dog and learn to jump on command.
“I can cry about that later,” I replied. “Just get it over with. I’ll be stuck paying you back but that doesn’t mean you can bore me to death.”
He slapped me. “You’ll watch your mouth. Three weeks away hasn’t done anything to improve your manners, I see.”
Scowling, I rubbed my cheek. I bit my tongue to keep from saying what was on my mind. He slid his hands under my shirt. I flinched. He laughed.
“Jumpy tonight, huh? Well, I just hope that broken finger earned me a little respect.”
I glanced at my finger. Before we came up to his bedroom, he’d called one of his buddies over to tape up my finger. Devin paid in weed. Apparently, the guy was a med student with a pot addiction.
“Wait, you’re not high, are you? I can fix that.” Turning and reaching into the drawer of his bedside table, he produced a needle and a small bag of heroin. My heart froze. My mind turned to mush. All I could think about was the sweet, sweet release that the contents of that bag would provide. Nothing else mattered in that moment.
He chuckled. “You’re looking at it the way a starving man looks at a Thanksgiving dinner. How long has it been since you got high?”
I thought for a moment. “Nineteen days,”
“Oh, you poor thing.” He heated up the spoon and melted the heroin. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. The syringe sucked up as much heroin as it could. I resisted the urge to grab the spoon and lick it. The pull was too strong.
Taking my arm gently, Devin searched for a vein. It took a while and he missed more than a few times. Then he hit it.
I wanted to melt into a puddle and spill onto the floor instantly. The sensation was like warm icing dripping onto a cake. A low moan escaped my lips.
“Feel good?”
“Yeeeesssss,”
The word stretched like a string of Christmas lights wrapped around a tree. My eyes were so heavy. I wanted sleep. I needed sleep. I was so tired. It felt like I hadn’t slept in a year. My mind was in a glorious fog. My problems were a million miles away.
“Come here, baby. You still need to pay up.” I felt Devin slide me closer to him as he undid the top button of my jeans.
I did nothing to stop him.
At least my finger didn’t hurt anymore.