Are we really doing this?

My mind is racing. There’s a lot for me to process. After holding so much back from me, now Cole has just dropped everything on the table all at once.

But while my brain is still working things out, there’s no denying that my heart and my body have already made a decision. I can feel it from the way my stomach flutters and churns. I won’t be able to go back home and just forget about this.

When the bar closed down, all I knew was I wanted to spend more time with Cole, and I didn’t want to lose this magical momentum. I’m afraid if I just walk away and see him again tomorrow, everything will feel different in the cold, harsh light of the day.

This feels like a fragile, fleeting, precious moment and I want to do everything I can to keep it in my grasp, even if it’s just for a few hours longer.

I know, perhaps better than anyone else, how quickly love can slip away and get lost in the maze of time, never to be seen again.

“Is anything wrong? You haven’t said anything since we left the bar.” Cole looks at me with concern in his beautiful brown eyes.

“No, I’m fine. Really.” I smile and shake my head.

The streets around us are empty, except for a few other cars that have stopped in front of the traffic light. Drops of rain cover the car windows, making it feel like we’re in a world of our own. Smooth jazz plays in the background, making the atmosphere feel even more melancholic.

“If you’ve changed your mind, I can take you home,” he says.

“I haven’t. Trust me. This is nice, just sitting here with you.”

Cole takes my hand and gently strokes my skin. Just like that, my heartbeat speeds up and my body craves his touch elsewhere. I want his big, warm hand on my neck, on my bare waist, on my thighs…

I look into his eyes and recognize the same hunger in him. He wants me just as much.

The light turns green and Cole puts his hands back on the steering wheel. The car glides among the tall buildings of the city. Bright, colorful lights decorate the empty retail stores, while yellow street lights illuminate the few pedestrians caught in the rain as they rush home. I catch glimpses of the Space Needle sometimes, stabbing the sky like it anchors the skyline in place.

We enter the parking area of a tall, modern apartment building with a glass facade. Truth be told, I’ve been trying to come up with any unanswered questions that remain. I know that once we’re alone in Cole’s apartment, I’ll forget everything.

If there’s any doubt left in my mind, if there’s any good reason why I shouldn’t spend the night, I should clear it up now. As Cole parks the car, one last question pops into my mind. He turns off the engine and we step out of the car.

“Cole.” I take his hand and interlace our fingers as we walk toward the entrance to the apartment lobby. “Why did you want me to wait until Tuesday? When I saw you at the cemetery, you told me you wanted to tell me everything, but you were waiting for the right time. What were you waiting for?”

The electronic scanner by the door beeps as Cole waves his key fob. He holds the door open for me and we step inside, him taking my hand back in his. My heels click-clack noisily against the marble floor, the sound magnified by the echo of the high ceilings and the lack of an answer from Cole. When I glance at him, he looks like he’s thinking.

“I wanted to line everything up before telling you,” he finally says. It’s late and the lobby is empty. The door of the elevator nearest to us opens with a ding from the speaker. The carpeted floor muffles the sound of my heels as we enter. Cole presses the button for his floor and continues, “When we founded Foster Hotels, my father insisted on retaining the power to take full control of the company at any time. So I made an emergency plan in case that happened and I needed some money to start over without him. I was waiting for the transfer to be finalized.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to show up with plane tickets and ask you to move to Seattle with me. I was afraid that if I told you about the problem without providing a solution, it would scare you away. My father is a powerful man and I didn’t want to freak you out without also giving you an escape plan. I wanted you to feel safe.”

He looks so sad and sincere I can’t help but give in to my instinct to comfort him.

I step closer and put my hand on his face. His skin feels warm on my cold hand, and his stubble rough against my skin.

He puts his hand on top of mine and kisses my palm. His lips are soft, but hungry. He looks deep into my eyes. It’s clear as day that I want him too. He puts his free hand on the back of my head and pulls me close. This is it. We’re really doing this.

As soon as his lips land on mine, I get sucked into a vortex of passion so strong it’s dizzying. It scares me. Cole scares me. I want him so much I feel like he can completely crush me if he ever decides to let go. But I don’t care anymore. I’ll never find out where this leads if I don’t let go.

So I do. I let go.

I let our desires take over and let him take possession of my mouth. His hand on the back of my head slides down my back and he pulls me tight until my breasts are squished against his hard chest. Just as I curl my fingers around the back of his neck, the elevator stops and the door opens.

Cole grabs my waist and pulls me down the carpeted, dimly lit hallway, both of us rushing and panting with lust. He jams his key into the keyhole and turns with one hand, while his other hand grabs my hair. He kisses me like he’s running out of air and I have the oxygen that he needs, like he’d die if we stopped.

As soon as the door opens, we both stumble inside into the darkness, still locked in breathless embrace. I pull his blazer off his shoulders and he yanks the zipper of my dress down my back. Cole’s apartment feels warm and toasty and we shed our clothes like we’re both burning with heat.

By the time he pushes me down onto his leather couch, I’m down to my panties and he’s only wearing his jeans. The dim light of the city at night that enters the living room through the floor-to-ceiling glass wall highlights the cords of muscles just underneath Cole’s skin, showing off the contours of his chest and abs with its highlights and shadows.

“You look beautiful,” he whispers, as if speaking any louder would interrupt the moment. Tenderness and wickedness swirl together in his dark eyes, making my heart flutter and my core tingle.

I smile, and he groans as he pushes his knee between my thighs, forcing me to part my legs. I let him climb on top of me and wrap my legs around his waist. He plants his elbows by my shoulders and leans down, trapping me under his hard body. I grab onto his muscular upper arms and hold on tight.

I surrender to his kiss, letting him explore my lips, my earlobes, my neck. I sigh, enjoying the feeling of his weight on my body, the tactile dragging of his skin against mine. He feels warm and safe and comfortable. I feel like I’ve come home.

When Cole catches my nipple with his lips, I gasp. The tingles shoot straight down, and I feel myself throb with desire. Slick wetness leaks out of me, pooling in my soaked panties.

He looks up straight into my eyes as he presses the hard bulge in his pants against my bare inner thigh, letting me know just how much he wants me. My lips part and a moan escapes when I think about taking his hot, hard cock inside me.

He runs his fingers over my black lace panties. I’m glad I have the habit of wearing nice underthings when I dress up. I knew I was probably going to bump into Cole tonight, but I definitely didn’t think I’d end up in Cole’s apartment with him ravenously peeling off my clothes.

“I can feel how wet you are through your panties,” he says. If my whole body wasn’t already on fire, I’d blush in embarrassment — not that he’d be able to see me turn red in the dim light.

He pulls my panties down my legs, shifting his body to take them all the way off. He throws them down onto the white marble floor to join my dress and bra. I’m now completely naked and exposed to his hungry gaze.

He runs his fingers over my wetness and rubs my clit. I shudder with pleasure as he pushes two fingers inside me. I’m so wet he goes in smoothly, with no resistance at all.

For the first time in a long time, I feel alive. Unlike all the other times when we’d come together before, I feel like we’re both honest with each other now. The internal, emotional nakedness that we show each other makes me feel safe and comfortable letting go in front of him.

“Cole,” I say breathlessly in between lusty gasps. “Oh, Cole. Please.”

“Please what? Tell me what you want, Emily.”

“Please. I want you inside me.” I reach down and fumble with his belt. Once that’s undone, I unbutton and unzip his jeans. He leans closer to let me undress him, while his skillful fingers continue to make me gasp and moan and writhe underneath him.

Cole slides his jeans off and presses the tip of his cock against my opening. He feels so hot against my skin I could burn. I thrust my hips up to take him in, but he pulls back and smirks at me, teasing me.

“Fuck. You look so sexy when you’re like this,” he says.

I reach up to put my hands on his shoulders. I feel the ropes of his muscles rippling as he moves. I pull him close and he obliges. He leans down to kiss me, devouring me with his mouth. I feel wanton, but every cell in my body yearns for him, this man who has unwittingly turned my life into both hell and heaven.

“Please, Cole. I need you.”

He pulls back from the kiss and watches my face intensely. He rocks his hips to push his cock inside me, inch by torturous inch. I bite my lips and lift my hips up again, inviting him in. In response, he pulls back out again, making me crave the fullness from his cock even more.

“Stay,” he says. “I’ll give it to you if you’re good and if you stay still. Okay?”

I nod in reply. If I had my way he’d already be inside me, but I’ll do as he says if it means I’ll get what I need.

“Good. Good girl,” he says with a crooked smirk on his face.

He slowly starts to push back in again, and I fight the urge to swallow him whole this time, even though my body aches for more of him. I close my eyes and bite my bottom lip until it starts to hurt, trying to distract myself from my craving for him.

“Open your eyes.” Cole grabs my hair until it almost hurts. “Look at me.”

I do as he says and find him staring at me like he’s demanding my surrender. So I let him dominate my body and my mind. I let him have his way with me. He slides deeper and deeper into me, filling me up, making me stretch to accommodate his length. I drag my fingernails down his back when he hits bottom and grinds into me.

“Oh, Cole. You feel so good.”

“I can make it feel even better,” he whispers in my ear, his breath hot and heavy on my skin.

Cole thrusts up into me, hitting my sweet spot. I gasp, which only makes his cocky smirk grow even wider. He knows exactly what to do to my body. I wrap my legs around him and pull him down. I want him deeper and harder and faster inside me.

This time, he gives into my plea and starts to pick up his pace. I feel my arousal build up and my muscles clench around him.

“Are you going to come, baby?” He watches my face as I furrow my eyebrows and nod.

He starts to fuck me like his life depends on it. Through the fog of my arousal, I hear the creak of the couch dragging across the marble floor.

“Come for me, baby,” he growls.

He pulls my hair and bites down on my exposed neck. That little bit of pain sends my right over the edge and I tumble down the cliff of my climax, holding on to his big, solid arms as I lose control of my own body, shaking and shuddering and moaning his name over and over again.

He slams into me and grinds against me. I feel his cock pulse and twitch inside me, and I realize he’s shooting ropes of his hot seed deep inside me.

As we both lay on the couch with messy hair and sweaty bodies entangled into one, I close my eyes and run my hands over his hot skin, trying to memorize the lines and contours of his body.

“I love you, Emily.”

I open my eyes to look up at him.

“I love you too,” I say before I have the chance to overthink it. It’s the first time I say these words to anyone else after the accident.

Cole looks down into my eyes with the biggest smile on his face. “Please marry me, Emily. I can’t be without you again.”

“You’re being crazy.” I smile.

“I know. But who cares? We’ve gone through so many crazy things together already, so what’s another one?” There’s sincerity in his eyes, and I realize he means it.

“You raise a good point. But here’s another good point to consider: maybe we should discuss this later. Like, when you’re not literally still inside me.”

He laughs, his eyes twinkling in the darkness. “God, I love you. I want to grow old with you, Emily. Please. Say you’ll marry me.”

I don’t know what’s coming over me, but before I can overanalyze it, I hear myself say, “I will. I’ll marry you.”

The truth is, now that I’m in his arms again, I can’t imagine us ever being apart again.