SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK . . .
My heart is racing. My body is full of sweat, and all I can smell is her sweet fucking scent, intoxicating me. She’s not even in the same room with me, yet she’s fucking surrounding me, making it hard to breathe.
I knew without a doubt that if she was still here by the time I got back, waiting at my door, that I’d give in and fucking take her. There’s too much shit running through my head, locking me inside my fucked up mind, and a release was far past needed. I was just hoping it wouldn’t have to be her.
But her words . . . They had to go and fuck with me and give me a reason to have to bury myself so deep inside her that it hurt. I wanted her to feel me. She needed to see the darkness in me, yet she’s still fucking here.
Anyone else would’ve been scared and ran off after I told them what I did tonight. Not her though. She thinks I should have kept going, and fuck, I wanted to.
Running a hand through my wet hair, I grab the bar above my head and do pull ups, fast and hard, until every muscle in my arms ache and my chest feels as if it’s going to burst from my racing heartbeat.
Dropping from the bar, I shake my sweaty hair out and walk over to my stash of liquor, tilting back the first bottle that I can grab. I close my eyes as it burns my throat, giving me the pain that I need.
Standing with my bottle, I wait until I hear the shower water turn off before I walk back into my room to find a pair of jeans and an old shirt to throw on.
Leaning forward, I grip the dresser until my knuckles turn white. I have the urge to rip this motherfucker apart and destroy it. My thoughts are messing with me again, knowing that I have less than two weeks before I get to hopefully find some kind of peace. I know I won’t find much, but killing that son of a bitch has to bring some. It’s the best I can hope for.
I just better hope that Avalon is far gone from my system by then. There’s no way I’m dragging her into this shit with me, or allowing any harm to come her way. That would be my sure death, because protecting her feels like a part of my life now.
I look up from the dresser, toward the door at the sound of Avalon’s voice. “I’m ready. You good to do this tonight?”
My eyes scan over her beautiful, tan body as she stands there in a pair of my boxer briefs and a gray shirt, her skin glistening with moisture. It takes everything in me not to throw her onto my bed and fuck her hard again.
“Yeah.” I push away from the dresser and walk past her, slipping an arm around her waist to spin her around to follow me.
Flipping on the lights, I point to the black, leather chair and tell her to sit, while I gather my shit.
“Do I need to take any clothes off for this spot?” She questions. “I have no idea what your plans are. I’m just going to let you take control and trust your talent.”
I turn to her, my eyes slowly trailing her body to find the perfect spot to place her next tattoo. There are many options, because any place on her body is beyond fucking perfection, but there’s one spot that I would die to see covered in ink by me. “Take my boxers off.”
Without hesitation she slips my briefs off, setting them beside her in the chair. I have to grit my teeth and grab the chair in restraint, when I see that she’s not wearing any panties beneath them. “Just my briefs, huh?” I ask stiffly. “No fucking panties . . .”
She nods her head and pulls her hair over her shoulder to get comfortable. “I didn’t expect to have to take them off. Is this going to be too much of a distraction for you?”
Walking over to her, I grab her waist and roughly flip her over on her side to get a better angle of her lower hip. That whole section of her magnificent body is going to be branded with my art.
My cock instantly hardens at the sight of her perfectly round ass and thoughts of me marking her again. “It might be more of a distraction for you,” I say, while running my hand over her full ass and then walking back over to set up the supplies. I need to keep my shit together; at least long enough to finish this.
“How is that?” She sits up slightly to look at me, looking so damn beautiful with her big curious eyes on me. “I’m not the one tattooing a pantyless woman and standing there with a hard-on.”
Raising a brow, I push down on my rock hard dick and take a seat in my chair, before I end up pulling my cock out and slipping it between her perfect ass. Her mouth is making it even harder to fight. “Exactly,” I say firmly. “Now lay down and be still, before I lose my shit and bend you over every surface in this room.”
I glance over and see her close her eyes as she takes a long, shaky breath. Her body is shaking as if she’s imagining just that. “Hurry, before I get nervous and change my fucking mind.”
Grinning at her sassy ass mouth, I scoot my chair over to her backside and slap her ass, hard.
She yells and grips the chair. “Fuck, Royal!”
I grab her hip and position her where I want her. “You sound so fucking good screaming my name, babe. Do it again and I’ll give you a real reason to.”
She quiets down and takes another long breath to calm her nerves. “Okay . . . I’m ready. Let’s do this before it’s too late.”
I take a few seconds to finish preparing my gun, before I start free handing a large Phoenix.
About thirty minutes through it, I notice her gripping the chair and tensing up in pain.
“Can you handle it or do you need a break?”
She shakes her head and bites her bottom lip. “No break. Keep going.”
“We’re almost done,” I say. “Just hold on for about twenty more minutes.”
She looks over her shoulder at me, and smiles bravely, while giving me a thumbs up. “I can do it . . . I can . . .”
When I’m done, I look down at her body and just admire how damn beautiful her body makes my art look. She’s the perfect fucking canvas.
“Are we done?” She asks eagerly.
“Yup.” I scoot the chair over to the table to get rid of my gun and gloves, before standing up and helping her to her feet. “Check it out.”
I guide her to the full mirror and watch her mouth as it drops open in shock and admiration. “Holy hell . . . this is absolutely beautiful. I’m completely in love with your beautiful hands. So much talent and heart.”
Her words cause my heart to beat slightly faster as I watch her taking in her new ink.
She turns in different angles, checking out the Phoenix with the biggest smile I’ve seen on her, before throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me hard on the mouth, surprising me.
She tries pulling away after a few seconds, but I bite her lip pulling her back to me. Her mouth tastes so fucking good that I’m not ready to stop yet.
Both of my hands tangle into the back of her hair as she moans into my mouth. “Sorry,” she says breathlessly. “I didn’t mean to kiss you.”
I yank back on her hair and suck her bottom lip into my mouth, before releasing it. “And I didn’t mean to kiss you back.”
Clenching my jaw, I release her hair and walk away. “Let’s get your tattoo cleaned up so you can get some rest.”
“Yeah,” she says softly. “Sounds like a good idea. I need to go home before work so I can shower and change my clothes. It’s already really late.”
I swallow hard, while cleaning her off and bandaging her up for the night, before sending her to my bed to get some sleep.
I keep myself busy for a while, cleaning up the rest of the stuff and organizing the inside of my desk.
I need to keep my distance right now, because the way I’m feeling from that unexpected kiss is not fucking good. It felt too damn good for me to be okay with it.
Flipping off the lights, I close the door and walk down the hall to my release room. I usually go in there to work out and release some stress . . . but not tonight. Guilt inside of my chest has me opening the desk in the back of the room and pulling out the box. I haven’t looked inside of it in months.
With my breath held, I open the box and pull out the letters and photographs that I kept from Olivia after she passed.
My heart aches so fucking bad as I take in her smiling face. She was always so happy and full of life, and it’s because of me that her life was stolen from her.
Her piercing green eyes stare back at me, making me feel so much guilt that I can’t breathe. Looking at these pictures make me feel like I’m suffocating, but there’s one that I can’t close the box without looking at.
With shaky hands, I find the picture that I’m looking for and my heart fucking stops in my chest. I’m broken and dead inside, missing the biggest part of me that I’ll never be able to hold, and there’s nothing that can bring me back from this.
I’m completely fucking lost . . .