Chapter 25

 

Vivian returned to her apartment after many hours of angry cycling. It hadn’t helped. Her jealousy was still getting the better of her. The anger though had transformed into sadness. Sadness for what could have been. But she’d come to the conclusion that she could never be with a man who put his career in front of her.

He’d called her several times throughout the day, but she wasn’t ready to talk to him. What should she say? Drenched in sweat she arrived at the apartment building and stopped in front of the bike shed.

A dark shadow loomed on the steps to the main door. She didn’t pay much attention as she put her bike into the rack and secured the lock. But the shadow sat up straighter, when she approached the door. Then she noticed the crutches leaning against the railing. Rock! Despite her determination never to talk to him again, her heart thundered against her ribs.

“What are you doing here?” she eyed him suspiciously.

Rock surged to his feet with some difficulties, holding a bouquet of pink roses out to her.

Vivian threw the flowers onto the ground and trampled them to pieces. Then she eyed the box of chocolates in his other hand. As much as she’d liked to tell him he could shove those into his ass, she wouldn’t let those innocent chocolates suffer.

“Did you get my message?” she asked with an icy voice.

“The one where you told me to rot in hell?” One side of his mouth quirked up.

“Exactly.” His overwhelming physique made her determination to stay angry falter.

“Please, Viv, I came here to apologize,” He said, not above begging her.

Vivian shook her head, holding up the chocolate and flowers. “These aren’t going to get you back in my good graces. You need something better.”

“I know. But can we go inside and talk about this?” he asked, his eyes full of pain.

“Okay. You can wait in the living room, while I take a shower first.” She sent a dark stare at him, her self-control hanging on a thread. She hoped a cold shower would clear her head for the confrontation with him. And how she hoped she wouldn’t sink into his arms at the first sign of his trademark irresistible grin.

She brushed past him and dashed into her apartment, not even waiting for him to follow her. Oh God, I hope I’m not making a huge mistake. She locked herself into the bathroom before stripping down, stepping into the shower and trying not to think about the virile man she’d left standing in her living room.

Vivian wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to achieve with this delay, except to make him feel guilty some more – and maybe regain her own sanity. The rationality that had floated away the very instant he’d surprised her with flowers in his hands. He didn’t have to know, but in that moment the bars around her heart had melted like chocolate melted in the sunshine.

When she’d wiped off the water and dressed, she steeled herself with a glance in the mirror and then returned to the living room, where she found him occupying her couch as if he belonged there, flipping through a photo album containing pictures of her family.

“Are these all your family?” Rock looked up as she entered and he smiled at her.

“Yes.” Vivian nodded.

Rock looked back at the pictures, wistfully. “I always wanted a brother or sister. These pictures…they look like you all had so much fun growing up.”

“We did.” Vivian inched closer. It was so hard to hold a grudge against him, when he was like that. Why couldn’t be he bossy and demanding? Telling her she was all wrong to be jealous about that actress clinging to his arm? It would have been easy enough to brush him off and yell at him. But now?

“I only had my best friend, Tristan.” He glanced up and Vivian thought she saw tears in his eyes, but then they were gone. “We grew up together and both became Triathlon athletes. We had the world by the tail for a while. But then…”

“What happened?” Vivian slid on the couch beside him and she could feel the sadness rolling off of him.

“There was an accident. Tristan and I were headed to an Ironman competition in Hawaii, but the storm was violent and he lost control over the car. I don’t remember much, everything happened so fast.” He cleared his throat and then he continued, “Tristan lost a leg and an arm because of that accident. Whilst I came out practically unscathed.”

“Where is he now?” Vivian gasped.

“Dead.” Rock shook his head and his voice was barely audible when he continued, “I thought he was doing fine. He was still in rehab, learning to walk with his prostheses. One year after the accident I was in Hawaii again, competing in the Ironman. I won.” His face had turned into a miserable grimace. “On the same day he committed suicide.”

“Oh my god. That’s horrible.” Vivian snuggled up close to Rock to offer him some comfort. He wrapped his arm around her and locked eyes with her. The amount of grief and guilt she saw twisted her gut.

“I wondered if I could ever be normal again, after that day.” He gave her a rueful smile and continued, “Sorry, I need to solve these problems on my own.”

“It looks like you’ve been trying to do that for a while. Maybe it’s time you talked about it.” Vivian held his glance. After a while he nodded. He closed the photo album, leaned back and held her tight.

“I miss him so much. I failed him. Instead of being there for him, I pursued my career. I shouldn’t have raced that competition in Hawaii. I should have known…As his best friend I should have realized how depressed he was. I should have taken better care of him, visited him more often…” his voice faltered under the weight of his emotions.

“I don’t know. I’m sure Tristan was deliberately hiding his emotions from you, because he didn’t want you to be miserable on his behalf.” Vivian stroked his arm.

“Maybe,” Rock agreed, blinking a few times before he continued. “Anyway, his death is what drove me to create the charity foundation. Our current health system only deals with the hard facts like prostheses and learning to walk again, not the emotional factors.” He tried a small smile and said, “That’s why I want your friend Linda to open a practice in the clinic. The therapeutic benefit of animals cannot be underestimated.”

“How long since…your friend died?” Vivian asked.

“Three years. I retired soon after his suicide. Competing had lost its allure for me. I had more endorsements and money than any man needed in a lifetime. From then on I focused on the Rock Solid foundation with the same determination I’d put into my competitive career.”

“It sounds like you found a way to help others like Tristan,” she commented.

“Enough about my past. I came here to talk about us.” Rock sat up straighter and for some reason Vivian became afraid.

She took a deep breath and then let it out before saying, “I wasn’t aware there was an us after yesterday.”

“About that. Tommy had convinced me it was necessary. I needed to be seen with Carla Dawson for business reasons, even insinuate we might be a couple to attract more attention. I still think he’s right about the business, but...” He put his hands on Vivian’s shoulders and she shuddered under the weight of his words.

“I put business first, like I’ve always done. But then I realized that nothing in my life matters, if you’re not with me. Vivian, you are the most important person in my life and I vow that from now on I’ll always put you first…if you let me.”

Vivian’s heart melted and all she wanted was to kiss him. Kiss the pained look in his eyes away and shout to the roofs that she was his. Forever.

“I… what about the actress?” she asked softly.

Rock glanced at his watch and then took the remote control to switch on the television. Vivian furrowed her brows as he flipped through the channels, but his grim stare kept her from saying a word. Finally he’d found the news channel and grinned at her. “I want you to watch something.”

“Rock, can’t we watch later? It’s kind of a bad moment right now.” Vivian said, shaking her head.

“Shush, sweetheart. It’s the perfect moment. Just watch and then you can ask all of the questions you like.”

She nodded and kept her eyes peeled to the news anchor. They came on moments later, delivering some breaking news that had the city in an uproar.

“And in another twist of fate, Rock Martens and Carla Dawson have announced they will not be combining their forces at this time.”

A video clip of Rock talking into the camera began to play –

“During our business meetings, it has become apparent that Miss Dawson and myself have incompatible goals that prevent us from working towards the same end where Rock Solid is concerned. For the integrity of the foundation, we have mutually agreed that she will not be representing Rock Solid in the upcoming triathlon,” Rock said into the camera.

“Mr. Martens, what about your personal relationship with Carla Dawson? Are you both still a couple?” the reporter asked him.

Rock shook his head. Both on TV and on the couch besides Vivian. “We never have been a couple.”

“But isn’t your parting ways with Miss Dawson bad news for your charity?” the reporter insisted.

Again, the real Rock on the couch besides Vivian mimicked the one on television and frowned.

“I believe it isn’t. Rock Solid stands for determination, hope, and caring for others. We’ve always valued personal integrity much higher than financial figures. I would betray all those values if I continued to pretend that Carla Dawson and I are a couple, while I’m in love with another woman.”

Vivian felt goosebumps rising across her arms and neck. Did he really just say that for a million people to hear?

“Who is this woman?” the reporter insisted.

“In time the public will know, but for now I prefer to keep this information private,” Rock said and the look on his face made it clear that he wouldn’t divulge any further information.

The interview continued another minute or so talking about the charity race and how everyone was welcome to participate.

Then Rock switched of the TV. He took Vivian’s cheek between his hands and moved her head until he caught her gaze. “Questions?”

“No.” Vivian flushed scarlet red.