Chapter 8
Penny sighed as she turned another page. She really wanted to get into this book, but it was difficult. The more she read, the less interested she was in the words on the pages, and the less she wanted to continue with it. But she was doing what she did every Saturday when she had the day off, and that was spending some time at the park with a book and a cup of coffee.
Sure, there were definitely books she had gotten into and hadn’t been able to put down, but then there were books like this one. Books with characters that she just couldn’t seem to connect with, and books that felt more like a chore to read than something she actually enjoyed. Of course, she was doing her best to get into it and was going to stick with it until she finished it, but she wasn’t enjoying it very much and she was looking forward to getting to the last page more than anything else.
She sipped on her coffee, her mind wandering from the book with zero resistance. Though she was the kind of woman who was determined to finish what she started, it was going to be hard for her to think only about the characters in the book when there were so many other things on her mind. She wanted to get her clothing business up and off the ground, and thanks to her position in the night club, she knew a lot of people who could help her.
The trick was to get the money she needed together first, then approach them for the support that she needed. There were those who would be able to give her business advice, and there were those who would be able to further connect her to the right people with money and influence in the fashion world. But right now, it was nothing more than a dream in the back of her mind, and one that she liked to visualize herself living.
Penny was determined. She had worked hard to reach the point in life she was now at, and she was determined to push further on. She’d thrown pitches to investors already, and she had tried to get clothing stores to allow her to have a small space within them to get her work up and off the ground, but so far, she had been turned down time and time again.
Each time that she heard a “no,” she had to admit that she felt discouraged. There was something about someone telling her that her idea was foolish for a woman of her status that made her believe she was not good enough. But, at the same time, there was a fire burning bright in the back of her mind, and she wasn’t going to let the negativity of someone else change the way that she pursued her own dreams.
One of these days, she was going to find the person who would change everything for her, and when that happened, she was going to accomplish what felt to be impossible.
She closed her eyes, lifting her head up and letting the warm sunshine kiss her face. She was a proactive kind of girl, and she had already put together a vision board that showed her clearly what steps she needed to take. It wasn’t going to be easy, and it hadn’t been, but she was determined to prove wrong all the people who told her she was never going to make it.
Penny had shared her dreams with only her closest family members, not wanting to give anyone the power to tear her down. She was a visionary, and she knew what she wanted in her life. But, for as ambitious as she was to make it happen, there were still days like today that made it difficult for her to see whether it really would.
Days like today made her fear that she was never going to accomplish her dreams and that she would be stuck working at the night club for the rest of her days. It was a good job and she felt bad complaining about it, even to herself, but the fact of the matter was that she was more than ready to get out of there, and she wanted to move on with her life. Plus, it wasn’t as if she was going to be young forever—who wanted a fifty-year-old waitress serving you at a nightclub? She was just glad to have a game plan that didn’t require wearing tight-fitting clothes and serving alcohol to thirsty men for the rest of her life.
But, as she sat on the grass and sipped on her coffee, another thought ran through her mind. Chase Ellis. She looked around, surprised that he had crossed her mind once again. It seemed that she couldn’t go very long without him coming up in her thoughts one way or another, and she wasn’t sure what it meant.
In the back of her mind, she thought about what Angie had said. Did she like him? She couldn’t like him, not after meeting him just once. She was intrigued by him, she would admit that. Sure, there was something about him that had caught her attention, but she didn’t feel she liked him in the way Angie had insinuated. She didn’t want to think that was true. How could it be?
Penny had to admit, Chase came from a different walk of life than she did. He was wild and free. His friends were just the same. They were the kind of people who would go out and do something crazy just for the sake of doing it, consequences be damned. It was a lifestyle she didn’t understand, but one that she still found appealing. Appealing, that is, for someone else. It certainly wasn’t the sort of life she could live.
Not alone, anyway. But with someone like Chase—ugh! There she went, thinking about him again. She was convinced that she didn’t truly like him, at least, not in the way Angie told her that she did. She refused to believe it was so. He was so entirely different than she was, so how could she possibly?
Then again, did she? It was impossible for her to sort out her own thoughts when it came to him, and she didn’t even know where to begin with them. There was a part of her that wanted to like him. She was single and had been for quite some time. It was a necessary break after all she had gone through with her last ex, and she had been glad to have time to herself for a while.
It wasn’t that things were terrible, but they certainly weren’t great, either. That was the way it went for her with any man, and she didn’t know how to stop the cycle. She would get close to a guy and it was only a matter of time before he turned on her in one way or another. Many of the men in her life had ended up being controlling, and there were many others who had cheated on her.
She was often accused of cheating herself, though she had never once done so. She never would. Penny was the kind of girl to be fiercely loyal in a relationship, and she would never dream of doing anything like that to any of her partners. But it didn’t change the fact that they had done so to her, time and time again.
But, for some reason, there was something about Chase that had caught her attention. She liked how smooth he was. He was smoother than the rest of the men at the table. Hell, he was smoother than any other man she had ever met. Sure, he was trying to pick her up like the rest of the men, but there was something about the way he spoke to her that left her feeling enchanted. Charmed, even.
She didn’t want to tell him to go fuck himself. She didn’t want to close him down. She hadn’t exactly expressed these sentiments the night before, but she hadn’t told him that she wasn’t interested in him and that was something.
She sighed as she rose from her seated position. It was getting late in the morning, and as she did every weekend; she was on her way to her parents’ house. Penny was close to both of her parents and always had been, and she looked forward to being able to spend some time with them that afternoon.
She walked down the street, her mind still playing games with her. At times, she would think about Chase and that there might have been more of a connection there than what she wanted to admit. Then, she would dismiss the entire thing as though it was nothing at all. She didn’t know if she was ready to get into another relationship with anyone, and she didn’t know when she would be.
“Penny’s home! Harold!” her mom called out when she walked through the door.
“Hey, Mom, Dad,” Penny said as she walked over and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek. She kissed her father as well before sitting down at the table.
“You look tired, honey,” her mom said with concern in her eyes.
“I worked late last night, but I’m okay. It was Friday, and I don’t have to go back in until Tuesday,” Penny said with a smile. Her mother relaxed slightly, but Penny could see she wasn’t fully satisfied with her answer.
“Did you have a good night at work?” she asked, and Penny nodded.
“It can get tiring with all the people demanding your attention all at once, but I’m used to it,” she said with a grin.
“I wish you didn’t have to work so hard,” her mother continued. “One of these days you’re going to find yourself a man and he’s going to take care of you so you don’t have to work anymore.”
“I don’t want to be taken care of,” Penny replied tiredly. They had had this conversation many times. “I want to own my own business, remember?”
“I know, but even that is going to require an awful lot of work on your end,” her mother said. She walked over and started stirring the pot of soup she had on the stove, and Penny smiled as she shook her head. Her parents had always done their best in life, but they didn’t have much to show for it. They were both very hardworking people, and they had taught her that it was better to work for what she wanted than to have it handed to her. That was why it was so frustrating for her to hear her mother talk about some man taking care of her. She knew it came from a good place, out of worry for her only daughter, but it was still disheartening.
Her parents’ house was modest and their furnishings simple. It was the perfect house as far as Penny was concerned, and she was proud she had grown up living in it. She wanted to make a name for herself, but she promised herself once she did, she was going to give back to her parents as much as she could.
They had sacrificed so much for her in their lives, and she wanted to do something to show them she appreciated all that they had done. But, for today, she was going to take her seat at the table and spend some quality time with them, telling them the parts of her job she felt comfortable sharing and leaving the rest out so neither of them worried about her.
It was the same thing she did every weekend, but Penny couldn’t complain. She loved her life, and though she was still full of dreams, she was going to make the most of where she was right now, with the people she was with right now. She didn’t know what was going to happen with that man she had met, but it wasn’t something she wanted to have on her mind just yet.
She had more important people to think about right now.