Chapter 26

 

Bleary from another sleep-challenged night, Claire took extra care driving down Bluff Drive, the narrow, winding stretch of no-shoulder road that traced the circumference of Promise Island. She’d spent most of the night dwelling on her conversation with her mother and wrestling with her fears.

She was afraid of giving up those fears. That was what had spooked her. She’d finally figured it out and felt and felt stupid that she hadn’t done it before. As much as she hated them, her fears had framed the way she looked at the world for so long that she wasn’t sure what life would be like without them.

It was time to find out. Time to kick fear in the ass.

What if Ry doesn’t believe you? What if he doesn’t buy that you have it in you to change?

Even worse, what if he no longer even cares? After the New Hampshire debacle, maybe he’d already moved on. It’d felt that way to her the other night at the Dory.

“Shut up, fear,” she muttered as she turned into Ry’s driveway. “This is about me, not you.”

It wasn’t even about Ry. It really was about her, and her ability to overcome. Regardless of his answer, it would be an epic mistake if she were to chicken out now. She’d spend the rest of her life second-guessing herself.

She could hear Stanley barking before she even got out of her car. He always recognized the sound of her Hyundai, and his bark was one of greeting, not warning. She’d missed the big doofus and couldn’t wait to see him.

Ry swung open the door before she could ring the bell. “Claire, I wasn’t expecting you.” Then his brows snapped together in a worried frown. “Is everything okay? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said. “Well, not really, but…”

Argh, get it together.

She sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I should have called first. Have you got a minute to talk now?” Given how he’d acted the other night at the pub, she half expected him to say no.

He smiled and stepped back. “Of course. Come on in.”

Feeling a bit weak with relief, Claire swept past him then stopped for a moment to give Stanley a rub on the head. When Ry closed the door, she turned to face him. “I need to say something, and it’s not—”

“Hang on a second,” he said, gently interrupting her. “I have to say something first.”

Flustered, she nodded.

“Claire, I was going to come see you today—to apologize for the way I acted at the Dory the other night. I was a dick, and I’m sorry.”

She scrunched up her nose. “Well, yes, you kind of were.”

“Not kind of. Totally. Sam really threw me with that comment she made, but I had no business taking it out on you.”

Her lungs felt like they could finally work the way they were supposed to. “Okay, apology accepted.”

She stared up at him, and God, he looked good. When he gave her a teasing smile, she could feel herself blushing.

“So…what did you come over to say?” he asked.

“Oh, well, I’ve been thinking about what happened in New Hampshire and everything since. And it’s, um, well, it’s…” She was still having a tough time finding the right words.

“It’s what?” he prompted.

Just say it, Claire, no matter how much it scares you.

“Actually, I was wondering if you could take a little trip up to Damariscotta with me today,” she said in a firmer voice. “Kind of like we did the first time we went, but different. I’d like to do a reset, if you’d be okay with that.”

He arched his brows. “A reset? Like Groundhog Day?”

“Not exactly, because I want to do one thing completely new this time.”

“And that is?”

“I’d like to ride there with you—on your Harley.”

* * *

The motorcycle bumped along a rock-strewn trail Claire hadn’t known existed until now. The path cut through a copse of pine trees tall enough to cast Ry and her in virtual darkness. She hung onto him with a strength born of near-desperation, even though the bike was going no more than about fifteen miles an hour. He’d told her he didn’t want her first experience on a motorcycle to be some nerve-wracking blast up the highway. Instead, he’d started off at gentle speed on a county highway and then had unexpectedly turned onto a dirt road. There, he’d slowed to a crawl and started down this semi-overgrown cut through the woods.

Claire had no idea where they were headed. She was content to just see where he’d take her. Today it was the journey that counted, not the destination.

They emerged onto grassy open ground that descended to a rocky beachfront below. Ry bumped the bike carefully down the slope and stopped just above the beach. He took off his helmet and twisted around to look at her. With slightly shaky hands, she removed her helmet.

“How’re you doing?” He was smiling, but his eyes looked a bit worried.

“Okay, I think.” She felt like she’d been on a roller coaster. “I’m wondering why you came this way. Since we turned off the main road, we’ve been heading in almost the opposite direction from Damariscotta.”

He got off the bike and helped her down. “I’ll show you why.” He extended a leather-clad arm to point southwest. “Take a look over there.”

She shaded her eyes with the flat of her hand. “Ah, that’s Promise Island.”

“Have you seen it from here before?”

“No, not from this spot. I didn’t even know you could get down here from the road.”

He smiled. “I discovered this trail yesterday when I was poking around, trying to get my head around some stuff.”

When he slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side, Claire almost fainted from surprise. She was grateful for the support, since her legs were still a little wobbly.

“It’s a spectacular view, isn’t it?” he said. “From this vantage point, you can’t see a single house on the island. Yesterday, I just stood here and imagined what it was like when it was all just wilderness and silence over there. I guess that was the hermit in me coming out.”

Her throat went a little tight. “You don’t have to be a hermit to appreciate the island. It’s the most special place on earth to me.”

He glanced down at her, eyebrows raised. “Even now?”

She knew what he meant—even now that rich outsiders might be in the process of turning Promise into their exclusive retreat. “It’s not ruined yet, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No, but it’s on its way.”

She turned to gaze up at him. When one of his hands slid down to rest gently on her hip, she wanted to melt against him. She resisted the temptation, because this conversation was too important to pretend that everything was suddenly okay between them.

“What are you getting at, Ry?”

“Just that I’ve decided to do what I can to make sure Promise Island is never ruined.”

Had she heard him right? “Are you saying you’re going to go up against Carling Middleton and her buddies over the gate proposal?”

“Damn right I am, and so are Derek and Jane.” He gave her a crooked grin. “And you know Jane can be very persuasive when she decides to kick ass.”

She grabbed both of his arms. “Oh, my God, that’s amazing. I’m sure you had something to do with that, didn’t you?”

He gave a little shrug. “We’re all in agreement that we’ll do our best to shoot down that dumb proposal.”

Claire wanted to dance a little jig. “Thank you, Ry. Thank you so much. I don’t think some people on Promise Island realize just how badly it could sour relations with the town if they went ahead with that plan.”

“And soured relations is the last thing I want to see happen.” He dropped a quick kiss on the top of her head. “Especially since I’m planning on sticking around here for the foreseeable future.”

Claire’s heart started to thud like crazy. Would he really make Brides Bay his permanent home? And if so, where would she fit into the equation?

“You’d better,” she croaked, trying to lighten it up. “Meg and I need the business.”

He grinned. “Plus you don’t want to lose your guitar player, right?”

“That too. We’re practically the talk of the town these days.”

“Well, now that we’ve got our priorities straight, I’ve got some other news you might be interested in.” He turned them back to face the view, one arm still around her shoulders.

“More surprises? I’m listening intently.”

“I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the architect’s ideas for my new house.”

When her fists suddenly clenched, Claire exhaled slowly and forced her fingers open. “And?”

“I was never happy about any of them, and I finally realized the real reason why not. It’s because  I don’t need or want anything like the kind of big barns the guy was coming up with. In fact, I don’t really need anything more than what I’ve already got.”

Claire swung around to look straight at him, grabbing the edges of his leather jacket. “You don’t?”

His dark gaze glittered with amusement. “Okay, the place could use a fair bit of work. Maybe an addition. Definitely a new kitchen. But I don’t want any kind of mansion. When it comes right down to it, I’m just not that kind of guy and never have been. And I’m not going to worry about resale value or any of that crap either. All I want is to live in a house that suits me and makes me comfortable. As for resale, I figure the future will take care of itself.”

Relief and joy flooded through her, making it hard to talk past all the emotion. “You can’t imagine how happy that makes me. I know it was stupid to get so worked up about an old house, but…”

Ry cupped her cheek. “It wasn’t stupid, honey. You always thought the house was worth preserving, and I think I did too. I got stuck on the idea of it as an investment, when I should have been thinking of it as the place where I would put down roots.”

That was so awesome. But he still hadn’t talked about her…about them.

“I like that word roots a lot,” she said.

“Yeah, I thought you might. And there’s one more thing.”

“Don’t keep me in suspense.”

“Well, I was hoping you could help me figure out the renovations. Everything we need to do to whip the old place into shape.”

Wow. “That would be yet another service Brides Bay Concierges would be extremely happy to provide,” she said, smiling up at him.

His eyebrows tilted down in an almost comical line. “Claire, I wasn’t thinking of that part in terms of a business relationship. I want you to spend a lot of time at my place, and not just when I’m out of town. An awful lot of time.”

God, yes.

She forced herself not to blurt out an answer. Was he just going to keep ignoring the elephant still standing here beside them—the one that had cratered their relationship? Because in spite of all the welcome words he’d just spoken, it still loomed between them, big and scary, and was waiting to trash them again.

* * *

Claire’s face had lit up when he told her he was staying in Brides Bay. And she’d practically vibrated with joy to hear he was abandoning plans to bulldoze her old house. It was all good, especially the idea that she was going to help him plan and execute the renovations.

But there was one more obstacle between them, and they both knew it had to be confronted. When she took a long glance at the bike, he knew it was time.

He braced himself.

“Yes, but there’s an elephant here with us, and he’s perched on that big, old motorcycle,” Claire said, nodding at the Harley.

“Then I guess we’d better kick him the hell off before he squashes it.”

She didn’t laugh. “Ry, you said you’ve spent a lot of time thinking since last weekend. Well, so have I—among other things, about motorcycles and such.”

“Okay, and?”

“And I’d like to try to deal with my fears on that, if you’re willing to let me.” She glanced again at the Harley. “I don’t mean just jumping on the back of that thing like I did today—as much as that was a good place to start.”

“It was a great place to start. A real step forward, Claire.”

“Yes, but I realize that riding motorcycles is…well, I know it’s way more than just a pastime for you. It’s your passion, and it’s very a big part of who you are. You’ve loved bikes all your life. You’ve been a high performance athlete all your life too, so it’s not surprising that you love to still compete through racing. And I know I can’t change that. I don’t want to even try to change it. You love it deeply, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

He had to repress the impulse to laugh with joy and sweep her into his arms. This moment was far too serious for anything like that. “Claire, are you really sure?”

“As sure as I can be,” she said, her gaze solemn. “If you give me a chance, I promise I’ll try as hard as I can to handle it. My mother was able to live with the fact that the man she loved put his life on the line every time he headed out to sea in his lobster boat. The way my dad earned his living was more dangerous than sportbike racing, so I should be able to damn well suck it up and deal with what you do. What you need to do to be whole. To be Ryder Griffin.”

“Babe.” Ry grasped her shoulders and pulled her up on her toes, kissing her with all the pent up desire and love he had for her. She was like heaven in his arms.

Then he let her sink back on her heels, pressing deep, lingering kisses on her the whole way down. When they finally separated, her lips were pink and damp and her eyes were shining with happiness. He totally got it, because he’d never been happier than he was right now.

“You have some serious game, Maddox,” he said. “Thank you. Thank you for getting me.”

“No, you were the one who really stepped it up,” she said. “Committing to Brides Bay, giving up your plans for a new house, taking on the PIHA over the gate—I think all that must have had a little something to do with wanting to be with me, right?”

He grinned. “You think?”

She slid her arms around his neck, pressing against him. “Then we’ve both got promises to keep, don’t we?”

He let out a ghost of a laugh, cradling her body against his. It was all he could do not to drag her down and make lust-filled love to her—right there on the windswept beach, with what felt like the entire world on the horizon.

He’d come here prepared to say he’d try to stop racing, for her sake. The emptiness of his life without Claire had shown him how truly important she was to him. And his sister had opened his eyes to his responsibility to his family, a family he now finally had, thanks to Claire and Samantha. He was prepared to take some risks but no longer wanted to do anything she considered reckless or overly dangerous.

“You know what?” he said. “I won’t be racing forever, and I’ll definitely cut back on the number of events. And, look, if you find you still can’t handle it, then we’ll figure things out together. Because if it ever had to come down to a choice, Claire, racing would come in a distant second to you.”

Claire startled to sniffle. “Thank you so much for not minimizing my fears. I can’t tell you what that means to me.”

His heart clenching, he pressed his lips to her forehead and then to her trembling mouth. “Don’t cry, babe—it’s all good. We’re going to be fine. I know it.”

She brought her hands to his cheeks and came up on her toes, looking him right in the eye. “I love you, Ry. I knew you were the man for me the moment you handed me that wrench and we saved the ice sculpture together.”

“Then thank God my granddad taught me to always keep my tools handy. Because I love you too, Claire.” He had to stop and clear his throat, even though he couldn’t resist making a joke. “And, by the way, I haven’t even begun to show you everything in my special toolbox.”

Like the seagulls, their laughter rose high and winged out over the glittering waters of Brides Bay.