Chapter Nineteen
Charlie
I wake up slowly to a steady beeping sound coming from somewhere beside me. My body aches, and before I even open my eyes, everything comes rushing back to me. Fear for my life. Krueger. I remember him stabbing me; about to rape me. I’d passed out before that; I’d thought I was dying.
My throat is dry, and it hurts to swallow. Opening my eyes, I know from the familiar sounds and smells that I’ll find myself in a hospital. I look around the room, amazed I’m still alive. My sweeping gaze stops when I see Ryker slumped in a chair directly beside me. He’s sound asleep, clothes rumpled, hair a mess and a full beard covers his face. Even in sleep, he holds my hand.
My heart clenches a little. God. I was so angry at him. Actually, I’m still angry at him, but here he sits, likely worried about me, wanting to be a good friend. I’d screwed up sneaking away from the protection of the club – I’d almost died because of it. Ryker had been trying to protect me, and I’d let my wounded heart get the better of me, putting myself in danger. So now, I’m angry at me too.
Just then, a nurse comes quietly into the room. She smiles when she sees me, approaching the bed with a glance over at Ryker. “You’re awake,” she whispers.
I try to answer but my throat feels like I’ve swallowed a handful of razor blades. She reaches over to the bedside table and pours me a cup of ice water from the pitcher that sits there. She places a straw in it and holds it up to my lips. I take a sip, finding the cool water does wonders to soothe my pain. I gulp it down, managing three swallows before she pulls it away. “Not too much, honey. You need to start out slow so you don’t make yourself sick.”
She pulls out a thermometer and places it under my tongue. While waiting for the results, she nods over to Ryker. “Your man over there hasn’t left your side since you got here.”
I glance over at him. He’s so gorgeous. My gut clenches and I try to push back the swell of love I feel for him. I can’t love him. I hardly know him. Not to mention, he used me for sex and then went and screwed Lucy only hours later.
“He’s kinda scary.” I look back at the nurse, seeing her stare at him. She looks back at me and winks. “You’re a lucky girl.”
Tears fill my eyes. If she only knew; I’m not lucky. Ryker’s here because he cares about me, sure, but that’s as far as it goes; as far as it will ever go. She finishes what she’s doing and gives my arm a squeeze. “I’ll send the doctor in.”
Nodding, I smile weakly. The closing door clicks loudly when she exits the room, causing Ryker to jump. He sits right up, eyes darting around the room, sleep still heavy on his face. When they land on me, I hear his breath catch.
“Charlie?” I blink slowly, still trying to battle the first round of unshed tears. His voice hitches when he says my name. “Oh, baby girl. Thank fuck.” His voice hitches again with emotion, and a single tear escapes my eye. He reaches his thumb out and swipes it away before it gets too far down my cheek. “I was so worried about you. I’m so fucking sorry, baby. So sorry.” His own eyes glisten with unshed tears.
“Not your fault.” My voice is scratchy, my words slow. It hurts to talk. Closing his eyes, he leans forward to rest his forehead on mine for a moment before pulling away, holding my eyes captive with his own.
“It is. I promised you he’d never hurt you again and I didn’t keep that promise. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am.”
Another tear falls; he catches that one too. “My fault.”
“No, baby. No it wasn’t. I know why you left, and I get it. I just ...” I place my hand on his cheek. “God, Charlie.” He catches another tear on my face. “I’m just so happy you’re ok. When I walked into that cabin, I thought you were dead. And fuck me if I didn’t want to die right along with you.” Guilt. I know he’s feeling so much guilt.
Emotions swirl through me, causing my sore throat to close up and the blood to rush between my ears. Tears fall freely from my eyes. Placing both hands on my cheeks, he wipes them away with his thumbs. “No more tears. That fucker gets no more of your tears.”
God. Why does he have to be so damned sweet? I need to harden my heart to him or I’m never going to survive. I can’t accept his friendship or his concern. He’d used me. I’d been falling in love with him, and he’d called us a “mistake.”
I close my eyes and turn away from him, needing a minute to strategize. How can I deal with this guilt ridden, sweet as hell Ryker? I need to remember everything that went on before Krueger got ahold of me. I need to or I’m going to fall back under his spell, and he’s going to crush what’s left of my heart into dust.
“Sleep, baby girl. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He misunderstands my closed eyes for fatigue and that’s ok with me. The less I have to deal with him, the better. I want him to leave, but at the same time, I need him to stay. His presence helps keep my fear at bay. For me, Ryker equals safety.
I lay that way, my heart aching, eyes closed, face turned away for a few more minutes before sleep claims me, the darkness once again rescuing me from danger; even if that danger comes from my own heartache.
***
Ryker
Charlie’s been in the hospital for eight days now. Three of those days were spent with her unconscious, and today they were finally releasing her. I haven’t left this place once since arriving in the ambulance with my girl. They’d almost lost her a few times. Her lung had collapsed and she’d had a lot of internal bleeding, not to mention the huge amount of blood she’d lost. After a lengthy surgery, several blood transfusions and four days in the intensive care unit, then four more to recover, she was finally able to go home.
Jase and Tease had spent a lot of time here also, waiting out in the waiting room for news on how Charlie was doing. They’d been a huge help, bringing me food and a change of clothes when I needed them. They both knew there was no way in hell I’d ever leave her again.
That douche fucker Jeremy had been here too. He’d brought her flowers, and I have to admit, I was jealous as hell when she’d smiled at him and asked for some privacy. I left the room without complaint, standing out in the hall, but I heard them in there. She actually had a conversation with him, reassuring him that she was ok and trying to ease his worry. She rarely talked to me at all. That just about killed me.
Jase had dealt with the police. They’d come to question me and I’d told them everything. They considered my part in beating the hell out of Krueger self-defense. Krueger was in the hospital for a couple days before being moved to the local remand center, awaiting trial. He’ll be in jail for a long, long time.
As for Deed and the Devils, they were pissed. Getting the cops involved went against biker code and I’d broken that by calling an ambulance. I couldn’t bring myself to care though. Charlie would have died otherwise, and there was no way I’d have let that happen. I hadn’t spoken to him myself, but I’m pretty sure I can smooth things over with Deed if Gunner can’t. It’s not like they can’t get their information from Krueger in jail. They have plenty of brothers in custody right now, and they can get that dirty job done from the inside.
Charlie’s been quiet and I have to admit, I’m worried. I’ve avoided bringing up Krueger, or that night, because I don’t quite know where her head’s at. What she went through is enough to fuck up anybody’s mind and I want to protect her from any further pain.
Now we’re just waiting for the doctor to sign her release papers. I watch Charlie sitting on her bed, eyes to the window, quiet. Too quiet. I’d give anything to know what’s going on in that head of hers.
Just then, the door swings open and Charlie’s doctor walks in. “Alright Ms. Daniels, your release papers are signed and you should be ready to go.” He offers her a smile. She looks up at him, face blank and just nods. A small frown creases the doctor’s face before he continues. “As I’ve mentioned to your boyfriend here, you –“
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Charlie rushes out, sounding annoyed. “Please forward all information to me regarding my care.”
I notice the doctor glance over at me, but my eyes are glued to Charlie. This is the most emotion she’s shown since that first night she woke up, but I’m not sure I like the way she’s showing it. Is she pissed at me?
Her doctor clears his throat. “Ok, well, as I’ve shared with Mr. Cole, you will need to have someone stay with you for a couple of weeks. Your injuries are healing, but there is still danger of infection, and you have to be sure not to exert yourself. I want you on bedrest for at least another couple weeks, at which point, we will reassess your progress.”
Tears shine in her eyes as Charlie listens to what I’ve already heard, her expression bordering on hopeless. “Ok. Um … ok. I will call a friend and see if –“
I jump out of my seat, moving to stand in front of her. Placing my hands on either side of her face, I lean in close. “Charlie. Look at me.”
She hesitates, then raises her eyes to meet mine. Fuck. The light in her eyes is barely even there anymore. She looks so broken. How can I fix this? “Baby girl, do you really think I’m gonna let you go home and not take care of you?”
A tear slides down her cheek; I quickly swipe it away with my thumb.
“You don’t have to come home with me, Ryker.” She sighs. “I have friends.” Her eyes harden and her jaw tightens. “Real friends. And they will be more than willing to come and help me out for a couple weeks.”
“Fuck that, Charlie.” Frustration slowly creeps its way in and I try to keep it from coloring my voice. “You’re coming home with me. I’m going to take care of you. Not some girl from work. Not Dr. Douchebag. Me.”
Her voice cracks and the tears flow faster now; too quickly for me to wipe away. “You don’t have to do that, Ryker. Krueger is gone now. I’m not in danger anymore. You don’t have to take care of me out of guilt. I’ll be fi –“
Before I can stop myself, I reach out and grab her ponytail, sitting high at the back of her head. I wrap it around my fist, then tug her head back firmly so she has to look me right in the eyes. “Enough!” I’m so far past frustrated now, barreling my way right through to anger. Guilt? She thinks I’m doing this out of guilt? I see the doctor take a step towards me, but I ignore his ass and focus on my girl. I need to make her understand.
“This has nothing to do with guilt. Not one fucking thing.” I’m breathing heavily, my breaths causing her hair to blow around her face. “I’m going to take care of you because your mine to fucking take care of. I should have done it from the beginning.” I shake my head in frustration and groan. She’s staring at me, eyes wide, lips parted in shock. I’ve finally gotten her attention. Using my fist in her hair, I bring her face closer.
Slanting my head, I place a gentle kiss on her lips. She kisses me back just as gently, and I hear her swallow back a sob as she brings her hand up, cupping the side of my neck. My lips still on hers, I whisper, “Baby, you’ve been taking care of everyone else your whole life. It’s your turn to be taken care of. Let me take care of you.”
A sob escapes her throat before she nods and looks up at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. We stare into each other’s eyes for a moment before we hear someone clear their throat. Shit. The doctor.
We both turn to him and find him smiling wide at us both. “Now that we’ve got that settled, here are your prescriptions, after surgery care instructions and your next appointment date.” He hands a small stack of papers to Charlie, then looks to me. “She’s to stay in bed as much as possible. She only leaves it to use the washroom. It’s very important that she maintains minimal physical activity.”
I reach out and grab her hand, giving it a squeeze before answering. “Got it. She’s in good hands, Doc. Thanks.”
“Also,” he continues, giving me a hard stare, “she needs to be kept calm. Getting her worked up is not good for her recovery. Try to keep her happy, ok?”
I look down at her and kiss the tip of her nose. “That’s the plan.”