“Couldn’t you conjure up a tree like you did before? It’s freezing and way too naturey out here.”
“Real Daddies don’t use magic. Real Daddies do things the hard way.”
“Yeah? Is that why you flew us here in a sleigh with heated seats and a cocoa dispenser?” Crystal scoffed, her voice a mixture of mirth and annoyance.
“That’s different,” I argued, but she was right. Vegas had been seriously lacking in their tree selection, so I’d flown us to a farm where we could choose and chop down our own. “It’s about the experience, little elf. How’s this one?”
“It looks the same as the one next to it. Pick one! I want to get back to the heated seats.”
I’ll heat your seat, I thought, growing hard at the memory of her bottom growing red under my hand. Down boy. This weekend was not about sex. It was about anything and everything but. God willing, the sex would come later.
“You can’t just pick one,” I grunted, willing my brain to return to the subject at hand. “It has to be the right one.”
“I can’t feel my toes,” she whined, following me down a row of thick elms and majestic firs. “Fine, how about this one?” She pointed to a robust noble fir that stood at about six-and-a-half feet tall. It had a fluffy body and sturdy branches, perfect for decorating.
“Good choice. Do you want to help me cut it down?” I held the saw out to her, but she jumped back as if it were going to bite her.
“Umm, do Daddies let little girls play with sharp saws? That doesn’t seem safe.”
When she said Daddy like that, I had hoped it was a sign, that she was beginning to soften and embrace her inner child. Then I caught a glimpse of her face and realized she was simply bratting. But bratting was good. I could work with bratting. Baby steps.
“You don’t want to get dirty, is that it?”
“This jacket is brand new and expensive. There’s no way I’m getting down in the dirt.”
I shook my head and lay on the ground under the tree.
“Yule, for God’s sake, just wiggle your nose and uproot the sucker. Enough with the hard way. You’re going to chop off a finger or something under there.”
Ignoring her protests, I sawed through the narrow trunk enough so that I could climb out and push it over. “There, see? I even have all of my fingers still.”
“Fabulous. Can we go now?”
“Yep. Everything else we need is already at your apartment.” I hefted the tree onto my shoulder and began my trek back to the sleigh. “Next up on our Christmas fun day, tree decorating!”
“Oh goody,” she quipped, looking as if I had announced that our next plan was a trip to the dentist’s office.
I heaved a sigh. This was not working the way I wanted it to. I wanted her to enjoy the process, not feel as though she were being tortured.
“Actually, change of plans. I have a surprise for you. We aren’t going back to your house quite yet.”
“Please tell me it’s somewhere warm and clean.”
“Yes, my prissy little elf. No more nature for you.”
“Yay!” She clapped her hands and ran ahead of me to the sleigh. Well, that was easy.
I sent the sleigh and tree home before teleporting us to a mall near her apartment. There were not many places to hide a sleigh in a busy mall parking lot.
“Oh, I love this place!” she exclaimed when she saw where we were. “They have the best stores and an amazing restaurant called Malibu that puts those cute little umbrellas in your cocktails.” She smiled, and I saw the flicker of excitement for the first time since this morning. Apparently stores, restaurants, and shopping were the way to my little elf’s heart, and nature was a no go. I made a mental note of her preferences as she grabbed my hand and pulled me along.
“Well, hold your reindeer, now. There will be no cocktails today, little elf.”
“I know, I know. Party pooper.” She scrunched up her nose and stuck the tip of her tongue between her lips, but she was smiling and still seemed excited at the prospect of being here with me. She was comfortable enough to tease, if not to completely let go. I’d take it.
“Poor thing.” I pinched her cheek, teasing back. “I have something more fun in mind.”
“What’s more fun than cocktails?”
“Teddy bears.”
She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look back at me with an expression of awe and suspicion. She was staring at me like I held the secrets to the universe.
“How did you know I collect bears?”
“I’m very observant,” I said with a wink. “You collect porcelain designer bears, and they are beautiful, but what we are getting is a cuddly teddy bear. One that you can hug whenever you want.” I tugged her hand gently to get her moving again.
“I’ve never had a teddy bear,” she admitted quietly.
“I know. You surround yourself with bears you can’t touch, snuggle, or play with. That ends today. Every little girl deserves a teddy bear.” Picking up the pace again, I led her through the mall to the teddy-bear store. It was the chain one where she could choose any bear she wanted, stuff it, and even pick out a special outfit for it. A perfect activity for a Christmas-magic weekend. At the entrance to the store, she froze again and bounced on the balls of her feet, excitement washing over her features as her gaze darted all over the store.
“I’ve always wanted to do this,” she admitted, “but it’s silly. I’m too old for this stuff.” Her words said one thing, but her entire body was vibrating with an excitement she could not hide. She was so close to letting go, and I hoped this would be the activity that sent her over the edge.
“Don’t be silly. You are never too old for anything. Come on. You can pick any one you want.” I led her to the wall that showcased a plethora of fuzzy critters to choose from, and she went straight to the bears section. I watched with interest and tried to guess which one she would pick. I could hear the thoughts bouncing around in her head. She wanted the glittery tie-dye bear, but she kept going back to the plainer ones, probably telling herself they were more suitable.
“Pick the one you want and stop thinking about anyone else,” I encouraged her. I wasn’t going to force her, but I hoped she allowed this for herself. It was obvious she wanted it.
“This one has a sweet smile.” She picked up the white bear and gave it a once-over. Glancing back and forth between it and the tie-dye one, she set the bear down again. “This is too hard.” She shook her head and looked at me. Frustrated tears filled her eyes. She was at war with herself, and she didn’t know how to let go.
“It is definitely a hard choice. How about this, why don’t you choose two, and we can put one in the donation bin on our way out? That will give you some extra time to make up your mind.”
She smiled at the suggestion and instantly picked up the tie-dye bear and the white one she had held before. “That’s a great idea! Kids love colorful stuff, right? They would want this guy.”
I tried to hide my frustration and sadness at her answer. She wasn’t going to give in and take what she wanted. “I’m sure they will be thankful for either one. Let’s get them stuffed and dressed before they get cold,” I teased, tickling her from behind to get her moving.
“Mommy! Mommy! That man is Santa Claus.” Uh oh. I’d been spotted. Some intuitive child would pick me out of a crowd every time I went out. I smiled in his direction as his mom tried desperately to pull him away. “Santa! I’ve been the goodest boy this year,” he announced to everyone within earshot.
“I’m proud of you, buddy. Keep up the good work,” I called back. I couldn’t help myself. He brightened up and allowed his mom to pull him from the area. I turned to see Crystal watching me in disbelief, hugging both unstuffed bears to her body. “What can I say?” I shrugged, and she shook her head with a smile.
We spent another hour in the store choosing outfits for the bears. Interestingly enough, she dressed the white bear as a cowgirl, but she dressed the tie-dyed one in a Santa suit, claiming it was what the children would want. I went along with it, happy that she was enjoying herself. Time would tell if she could truly let go and choose the one she wanted.
“Are you hungry, little elf?” I asked, as I paid for the bears. The girl behind the counter giggled.
“That’s the cutest nickname I’ve ever heard.”
I watched Crystal out of the corner of my eye. She tensed slightly but bounced back fast. “The man has a Santa complex,” she said with an exaggerated sigh and an eye roll as she walked out of the store.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I followed her. “A Santa complex, huh?”
“Well, what else would you call it?”
“I am Santa. There’s no complex about it.”
“Oh, it’s all the complex, trust me. And yes, I’m hungry.”
I shook my head but let it go. “All right, you mentioned a good restaurant. Let’s go there.”
The restaurant she mentioned was an amazing cantina of authentic Mexican, with a lovely little balcony that overlooked the Las Vegas Strip, and the fruity drinks certainly did look tempting. We would have to come back another time, when she wasn’t supposed to be six. But she was right. The food was delicious, and it was a good choice for lunch. We both left thoroughly satisfied and headed to the other side of the mall where the toy-donation bin was located. To my delight it was right next to the mall Santa.
“Look, everyone who donates gets a free photo!”
“I don’t need a photo with a fake Santa Claus,” she deadpanned, staring at me with disbelief.
“Of course you do. It’s part of the fun of Christmas. Come on.” I took her hand and pulled her to the line.
“This is not happening. I am not sitting on the knee of some crazy man in a red suit.”
“Would you rather go over Daddy’s knee instead?” I whispered close to her ear. She shivered and shook her head. “Well then, looks like you’re going to have to figure out what you want for Christmas and tell Santa. You’re next.” I took the bear boxes from her hands and nudged her forward. Reluctantly, she stepped toward the jolly old man. He was a fair replica, one of the better ones I’d seen, if I do say so myself. Not that it mattered to Crystal as she stepped forward with an expression of chagrin.
“Sorry, I know I’m too old for this.”
“Nonsense, young lady. No one is too old for Christmas,” Fake Santa boomed in a jovial voice. He was very convincing as Santa and reminded me a lot of my father. He held his hand out to her, and she let him guide her onto his lap. She sat slowly, but I watched as he charmed her and eventually even made her smile. This guy was good. I needed to take some lessons. She leaned up and whispered in his ear before posing for the photo and accepting the mini candy cane he offered from a sack near his chair.
Mall Santa winked at me. “This one is a handful.”
“You have no idea,” I answered with a wink as well, turning to Crystal. “What did you ask him for?”
“That’s between me and Santa.” Her tone was full of sass and spunk, and I was grateful to see she had loosened up again.
The little smile didn’t leave her lips until we got to the donation bin. I silently handed her both boxes not wanting to influence her choice. Whatever she did, I hoped it made her happy.
She opened both boxes, peering inside to see which bear lay hidden behind the cardboard. She sighed softly and gently placed one of the boxes in the bin.
“Good girl,” I muttered and kissed the top of her head. “Now, let’s go decorate our tree.”
Turning a corner, so we were out of the public eye, I snapped my fingers and teleported us back to her apartment.
Weirdest day ever.
I wasn’t sure what Yule had had in mind for this weekend, or if he actually thought I could magically get to a place where I was mentally six, but something was definitely happening to my psyche. My emotions were all over the place. I went from annoyed to excited and back again so many times I could have made Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde proud.
As soon as we left the mall, I was bummed out again. I had so much fun choosing and dressing the bears, and using Mall Santa to tease Yule had been a brilliant plan on my part. It was driving him crazy not knowing what I had asked Santa for.
Yule’s idea of donating a bear had been a great one, but I’d let my brain get the best of me and made the wrong choice. Santa bear was sitting all alone in that toy bin, and I wanted him back. My disappointment must have been evident on my face, as Yule came over, and rubbed my back, peering into my eyes.
“What’s wrong, little elf?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” It had been a long day. Especially with Friday night magically morphing into Saturday morning, after I had barely slept on Thursday night.
“How about a nap?” It was framed in a suggestion, but I was sure he didn’t mean it as such.
“If I take a nap, I will not be able to sleep tonight. It’s a curse,” I told him truthfully.
“Okay. Well then let’s settle in and move to the next thing on Daddy’s agenda, shall we?”
“What’s that?”
“Hot cocoa and one of my favorite Christmas movies! We can string popcorn for the tree while we watch.”
“Okay,” I sighed. I was on Christmas overload, but I could probably zone out while doing the popcorn. Yule hooked his finger under my chin and looked into my eyes. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”
“Nothing, it’s stupid. Let’s do your movie and whatever.”
He wasn’t having that, and before I could blink, he had me cuddled on his lap on my overstuffed sofa. “Tell me the truth, little elf, and before you tell me it’s nothing again, you should think about the fact that lying to Daddy is against the rules and will earn you a hot bottom and a mouthful of soap.”
I grimaced at the threat. The pain from my earlier spanking had definitely faded, but I could still feel the effects of it, and I certainly didn’t want another one. “Soap isn’t in my diet plan,” I said with a sarcastic undertone.
“Well, then, choose your words wisely, little girl.”
“Seriously, you want to know what’s wrong? You have me all confused inside, and now I’m pining over a stupid bear. That’s what’s wrong. Happy?” I tried to push off his lap, but he wouldn’t let go, so I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away from him as best I could.
He sighed behind me. “What am I going to do with you?”
“You could drop all of this, and we could just date like normal people?” I asked hopefully, a little surprised that I left dating on the table. I was starting to really like Yule. He was sexy as hell, and his joy for life really lifted my spirits. Besides this whole Santa gig, he was practically the perfect man.
“What kind of Daddy would I be if I gave up?” Yule’s eyes sparkled mischievously when he looked at me, and his grin was the cat-that-ate-the-canary type. “Why don’t you grab the bear box and bring it over here? Let’s see if you still feel the same after you can give your bear a cuddle.”
I got off his lap and retrieved the cardboard package shaped like a house before returning to the couch, opting to sit next to Yule instead of on him. I did my best to ignore my longing to once again be in his arms.
We both sat silently for a moment. I didn’t want to open the box. I didn’t want to want the bear that was inside, didn’t want to be hit with the disappointment I knew was in store. And I was mad at myself, too, for being so ridiculous. I was a grown woman, and I was sad that I had picked the wrong teddy bear. Yule set his hand on my thigh and gave a squeeze.
“He’s probably lonely all stuffed in that box.”
I smiled and rolled my eyes but reached up and opened the top. Confusion washed through me as I pulled out the tie-dyed Santa bear. “What? How?” I shoved back the overwhelming emotions, refusing to show how overjoyed I was to see the colorful stuffed animal.
“Your Daddy is Santa Claus, little one. Anything is possible.”
“No. This is too much. This is all too much.” I shoved the bear back inside its house and forced it closed. Setting it down on the couch between us, I got up and stomped to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.
Throwing myself facedown on the bed, I covered my head with my pillow and screamed. It was better than the alternative of crying. I wasn’t angry, just overwhelmed. My world had been flipped upside down, and there was no way I could flip it back. Yule made me yearn for things I had long since given up on. Growing up without a father had been difficult, but I had learned to cope. My mother was wonderful and loved me with all her heart. She made sure my every need was met, but a little girl needs a father. I needed a father. Now I had this man in my life calling himself Daddy and opening emotional doors that I had locked tight. Ugh.
“Little elf,” Yule spoke through the door. “Are you okay?”
I didn’t answer, mainly because I didn’t know the answer. Yes? No? I feel more alive than I have in years, and it scares me? What was I supposed to say?
The door creaked open. I couldn’t see him, but I heard his footsteps approach the bed and then the side of the mattress sank with the weight of his body. He rubbed my back but said nothing. His touch was comforting and reassuring, and his mere presence settled my soul.
“I don’t know how to process all of this,” I finally admitted as I lifted the pillow off my head.
“You’re thinking too much, little one. You need to relax and let go. You need to trust me.”
“It’s harder than you make it sound.”
“No doubt. So how can I help?”
“That’s just it. It’s not you. You’re doing all the right things. You’re like the perfect man, aside from this crazy obsession with Christmas.”
“I’m Santa. Christmas is kind of my gig.”
I groaned and dropped the pillow back on my head, talking through the fabric and not caring if he could understand my words or not, “I know. I know. I don’t even hate it as much as I thought I would, but we can’t keep going like this.”
“Like what?”
“This Daddy stuff. I can’t handle it. It’s too much.”
He lifted the pillow and tossed it onto the other side of the bed. “Little elf, you promised me the weekend. Are you reneging? Is that really what you want?”
Yes. “No.”
“I didn’t think so. So, here is what we are going to do. We are going to watch some silly Christmas classics while we string our popcorn, then we are going to flip on some Christmas tunes, enjoy a nice simple dinner, and decorate that amazing tree you picked out. After all that, we will get you ready for bed and call it a night. And we’ll do all of that because Daddy wants to spoil his girl and enjoy the time we have together. Okay?”
“Can we not and say we did?”
“Can I redden your tail and then do it all anyway?”
“No, thank you.”
“Well, then, it’s settled. No more moping, just relax and let go. You will be surprised how much fun you can have.”