I STOOD at the bedroom window watching the color gray take over the whole of Vegas. The rain had increased from light sprinkle to downpour as I stood watch over the skyline, blurring out everything beyond the balcony railing, and I was glad. It mirrored my mood perfectly. After several hours of unanswered texts and phone calls, Kage was officially MIA for the first time since I’d come to live with him. My mind tried to come up with possible reasons, and all of them sucked.

The click of the penthouse door as it closed gave me a jolt, and I had to fight to stay where I was. To keep from rushing into the living room and making an ass of myself.

With the lights off and the apartment quiet, Kage thought I wasn’t home, and a startled sound came out of him when he came into the bedroom and found me standing there.

“Fuck, Jamie,” he breathed. “You scared me. What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” I said without turning around, trying to calm the racing beat in my chest. “Where were you?”

“I took a walk,” he said, and I could hear the fucking lie in his voice. “I needed to blow off some steam, but—”

Jesus, couldn’t he even come up with a convincing lie? He wasn’t even trying, and somehow that made it even worse. Was I so insignificant that he hadn’t even considered the need for an excuse?

I couldn’t turn around and look at him. Not seeing him was the only thing keeping me sane. I knew if I laid eyes on him, the desperate desire to have his attention would bubble to the surface, and I wouldn’t be able to stop the words. The needy words that would lower me in his eyes.

“Did you get caught in the rain?” I asked in a monotone, not caring what the answer was.

“Why don’t you look at me and see for yourself?” he asked. “Don’t keep your back turned like that. It makes me feel awful.”

“Maybe not answering my calls and texts is what has you feeling awful.”

Dammit, I had said it. The last thing I wanted to do was seem weak, but in the end I was unable to resist taking a dig at him for hurting me.

“I don’t have my phone on me, Jamie. I didn’t know you were trying to get in touch with me. I’m sorry.” He came up behind me, so close I could feel him even if I hadn’t caught the ghosted reflection of him in the window. His face was tight and miserable.

I wanted to turn around and lean against him, to wrap my arms around him and let him convince me that everything was okay, but I knew he couldn’t. This would not be an easy fix, and his miserable expression told me he knew it, too. If it had just been a matter of losing his phone or getting so busy he didn’t have a moment to check in, it would have been simple.

But there was a dark undercurrent to everything lately— a sense of foreboding that I couldn’t shake no matter how hard I tried to rationalize things— and every attempt I made to dispel it and bring us closer made things worse. The fact was, something was very wrong between us, and it seemed there was nothing I could do but watch us crash and burn.

“Jamie, please don’t be like this. I wanted to get back to you. Believe me, I would much rather have been here having dinner with you than where I was. It’s—” His reflection glanced away, as if searching for how much of the truth he could say. “Things are not going well for me right now.”

I crossed my arms and kept my back to him. “Yeah, well things aren’t all that great for me, either. I feel like I moved out here away from my family and friends just to be alone. The truth is, I’m beginning to wonder what it was all for.” I paused, working up the nerve to ask the next question. “Why did you ask me to come here, Kage?”

He reached out and touched my arm, wrapped his fingers around my biceps and tried to turn me around, but I was having none of it. I shook his hand off of my arm and in the process elbowed him in the ribs.

He sucked in a breath and grunted as if I’d just slammed into him with all my strength. That got my attention, and I whirled around to face him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you that hard. Are you okay?”

His expression was pained, and he bent forward at the waist, a hand on his ribcage.

“I’m fine,” he whispered. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything.”

“What is wrong with you?” I lowered my head, trying to catch his eye. “Kage, tell me what’s wrong.”

I reached out tentatively to touch the spot he was clutching, and he stepped back out of my reach.

“I got mugged,” he said, wincing. “They got in a few good shots, broke my phone. I didn’t really want to tell you.”

“Oh, my God. Let me see the damage. Did they crack a rib or something?”

Kage stood straight with some effort and tried for a smile. “I’m fine, baby. It’s nothing for you to worry about. I was just embarrassed to tell you about it.”

“Why would you be embarrassed that you got jumped? It could happen to anyone.”

“Not to me,” he growled. “It’s fucking humiliating. Every one of those assholes should be in the hospital right now, and they would be if—”

“If what?”

“If they hadn’t had guns. I couldn’t fight them, Jamie. I just had to lie there and take it.”

“Guns? Jesus, they could have killed you.”

He laughed and winced again at the pain it caused in his ribs. “They didn’t want to kill me. They just wanted something from me, and they knew how to get it.”

“Did they get your card? Did you call the police?”

“Not worth it,” he said. “I canceled the card, so it’s fine. I’ll get a new one in the mail.”

“But the police should know. Maybe they can find those thugs and get them off the streets before they do this to anyone else.”

Kage waved a hand, as if dismissing my foolish notion of making the streets of Las Vegas safer. “I’m going to take a shower and get this grime off of me. Would you just find a movie for us or something? I just want to get clean and chill out with you in the bed, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure. Of course. Any preferences on the movie?”

He grabbed a clean towel from the linen closet and chuckled. “Nothing with guns or fighting.”

When he came out of the shower, I was lying naked on the bed in the semi-dark, the room lit only by the glow of the LCD. A comedy was paused on the screen. Kage hurried into the closet and came back out fully clothed in a long-sleeve tee and loose pajama pants.

“I feel a little underdressed,” I said. “I thought maybe we could cuddle naked while we watch the movie, and then when it’s over, I could make my man feel good after a hard day. You wouldn’t have to do anything. I figure being mugged counts as a fight, and I know how much you like to blow off some steam after a fight.”

“Not really in the mood, babe. Turns out getting your ass kicked isn’t as much of an aphrodisiac as kicking someone else’s ass.”

I laughed. “Okay, but just so you know, I’m ready to take one for the team if you change your mind.”

Kage climbed onto the bed and situated himself under the covers, propping several fluffy pillows behind his neck, and I started the movie.

“Finding Nemo?” Kage smiled. “You didn’t want to watch something a little less juvenile?”

“Not tonight. Let’s just be a couple of kids and forget there’s a real adult world out there. It’s been getting on my nerves lately.” I leaned lightly against his shoulder and backed off a bit when he winced.

It didn’t take long for Kage to fall asleep, and when he started snoring softly, I propped up on one elbow and watched him for a long time. His face was so relaxed in sleep, much more relaxed than I’d seen it in a long time, and I wondered for the thousandth time what kind of stress he must be under trying to become a businessman when all he’d ever known was fighting.

He stirred under my scrutiny, whimpering like a child with the movement. Then my curiosity got the best of me, and I lifted his t-shirt as stealthily as I could, needing to see the spot on his ribs that seemed to be giving him trouble. But the more I revealed of his body, the more horrified I became.

His entire torso was covered in mottled purple bruises and angry red scrapes. This kind of injury didn’t look like a beating. It looked like a near-death accident.

Terrified, I lifted the band of his pants gently and peeked inside, sucking in a breath at the sight. The bruising continued as far as I could see.

“Getting an eyeful?” Kage asked in a quiet voice.

I looked up at his face in disbelief. “Kage, you need to go to the hospital. This isn’t normal.”

“Forget about the hospital. I’ll heal.”

“Turn over,” I demanded.

“Why?”

“Turn over and let me see your back. In fact, take these pajamas off, Kage. I need to see what they did to you.”

He sighed. “Jamie…”

“Take them off.”

He sighed again and climbed up from the bed, moving like a decrepit old man.

“Fine,” he said. “But before I do, you have to promise me no more talk of hospitals or police. Deal?”

“It must be bad,” I said.

“It is. Do we have a deal?”

“You know your body, Kage. If you say you don’t need a hospital, I’ll respect that. But you have to promise me something in return. I know you have a lot of pride, but you have to promise me that if you have any inkling that you might need a doctor, you’ll go. No matter what.”

“Fair enough,” he said, pulling his shirt gingerly over his head, then working his pants off and turning around so that I could get the full 360-degree experience.

I gasped. “Kage… Oh my God, this is so fucking bad. Did you look in the mirror? Do you have any idea what this looks like? Your entire body is one big bruise. Except—”

“Except what?”

“Except they didn’t touch your face. I’d think the face would be most people’s first target. It’s as if they wanted you to be able to cover it up with clothes, and that doesn’t make any sense. Why would muggers do that? Did they even punch you?”

“No.”

“Doesn’t that seem strange to you?”

He shrugged and began the painful process of pulling his clothes back on, then seemed to decide it was too much effort and let them fall back to the floor.

“Kage, answer me. Why would muggers beat every inch of your body but leave your face untouched?”

“I don’t know, Jamie. Why don’t you ask them?” He climbed back into bed, threw the extra pillows onto the floor, and pulled the sheet up to cover his battered body. “The important thing is that there doesn’t seem to be any real damage aside from a cracked rib or two. No serious pain in my kidneys or anything. Now let’s go to sleep, okay? I’m exhausted.”

I snuggled in next to him, almost but not quite touching him. I couldn’t bear to cause him any more pain, but I wanted him to feel me close to him. To know that I was there for him no matter what.

“I love you, you stubborn ass,” I whispered. “You know that, right?”

“I know you do,” he said quietly. “As much as I don’t deserve it.”