Chapter Eleven
Sapphire
What the fuck was that? Holy shit fuck balls!
Sapphire quickly closed the bathroom door and leaned against it. Taking a deep breath, she tried to slow her pounding heart.
What have I done?
She knew she was freaking out for nothing. It was just sex. But casual sex was never her thing. Waking up from a bad dream, she did the only thing she could think of to take her mind off of it — masturbate. She thought about Tank and then suddenly he was there.
She knew she had no reason to feel weird about it, they were both consenting adults. But at the same time, Sapphire was shaken.
Probably because it was the best sex of your life, dumbass!
“Probably,” she said out loud.
Climbing into the shower, she quickly scrubbed herself clean. Not once during their sex-it-up session did she think about him coming inside of her or the consequences of it. And if she was honest with herself, a part of her still didn’t care. That part is what drove her into the bathroom this morning.
What was wrong with her?
She wanted a family. A husband and kids. But she knew absolutely nothing about Tank. They weren’t even in a relationship. Sapphire liked him, but that was it. He was easy to talk to and made her laugh.
It was just sex.
That thought should have calmed her, but all it managed to do was make her feel worse — cheap.
Did he think it was just sex, too? Of course he did.
Get your shit together Stephanie!
Turning off the water and stepping out of the stall, she wrapped another towel around herself and made her way back to Tank’s bedroom.
Would he be gone? What if he was still in there? Did it even matter at this point?
Straightening her spine, Sapphire realized it really didn’t matter. She was a grown ass woman. If she wanted to fuck random guys, that was her business.
Not that Tank is some random guy.
Taking another deep breath, at this rate Sapphire was going to hyperventilate, she entered Tank’s bedroom — Tank’s empty bedroom. A huge part of her was bummed. Sadness swept through her and left a nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach.
For fuck’s sake, Stephanie! Get a grip! What did you expect after you ran out of here like your naked ass was on fire?
Shaking her head, she climbed back into the bed and snuggled under the sheets. She needed more sleep. It was going to be a long day. She already knew going home was going to wreck her — mentally and emotionally. Seeing the aftermath of the destruction of her childhood home, and knowing her mother wouldn’t be there any longer was going to kill a piece of her soul.
“Sapphire.” Tank’s voice pulled her from a restful sleep. “Sapphire. It’s ten a.m. you need to wake up and come eat so we can get on the road.”
“Okay.” Sighing, Sapphire stretched out on the bed.
She wasn’t looking forward to this trip, but knew she had to go. She needed to get things arranged for a sister to take over the club, or dismantle it. She needed to get her mother’s funeral taken care of and everything organized.
“I am totally dreading this ride,” Sapphire confessed.
“I know,” Tank replied, brushing hair out of her face. “But I’ll be right there. Whatever you need, just let me know and I’ll take care of it. And you.”
Sapphire took a moment to look at him. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he meant every word. That promise meant the world to her. She would never tell him, but it did. To know that someone had her back when things went to shit was a great feeling.
“Thank you,” Sapphire finally said pushing the sheet off and climbing out of bed.
“I’ll fix your plate,” Tank said as he retreated towards the door. “Hurry up.”
“Alright.”
Sapphire quickly dressed and found a brush to run through her hair. After a hasty braid, she made her way to the kitchen and the smell of bacon and coffee.
“Here you go,” Tank said, placing the loaded plate on the two-seater table. Sapphire’s stomach chose that moment to announce itself.
“Did you eat last night?” Tank chuckled.
“Actually, no.”
“Well eat up and then we’ll head to Diesel’s for your bike.”
“Okay,” Sapphire agreed.
This was going to be one of the longest days of her life and it had nothing to do with the three and a half hour ride from Dallas back to Houston. Today, she would walk into her childhood home and see the devastation that was left behind. Today, she would walk into the house and not hear her mother’s voice. Not see her mother’s face. Today, she would have to look her sisters in the eye and see the hurt and heartbreak that she knew would also be reflecting in her own.
Another wave of nausea hit Sapphire and she pushed herself away from the table and made a dash for the bathroom. She heard Tank holler her name, but she couldn’t answer.
Dropping to her knees, she emptied her stomach.
“Hey,” Tank’s voice was filled with concern.
“Sorry,” Sapphire groaned.
Tank’s hand gently rubbed circles across her back as another round of spasms rolled through her middle.
“Don’t be sorry,” Tank’s voice soothed. “I wish I could say it will be okay. I wish I could take this all away, but I can’t. What I can do is promise that you won’t have to face it alone.”
“Thank you,” Sapphire whispered.
Tank’s oath caused some of the tension to ease. Sapphire wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe that she was strong enough to handle this on her own, but she knew that wasn’t true. The idea of having to live without her mom, without her constant knowledge and nagging. Lord, Sapphire was going to miss her nagging.
Oh Mom...what am I going to do without you?
“C’mon, baby,” Tank said handing her a wet washcloth. “Let’s get you cleaned up and get this day over with. Tomorrow will be a new one, with new trials and tribulations. We face them one at a time, together.”
“Okay,” Sapphire sighed, taking a deep breath.
As Sapphire stood, Tank pulled her into his arms. For more reasons than she cared to examine, she felt safe. But was she really safe? This man was everything she wanted to stay away from, everything she always said she didn’t want.
“Listen,” Tank said, placing a hand on each side of her face. “I got you. Okay?”
“Okay,” Sapphire nodded.
“Alright, let’s get going.”
Sapphire took a deep breath and followed Tank down the stairs and into the bar. The place looked so different than it did last night. Bright white light filled every corner instead of the colorful strobes that flashed with the deep of the music.
“Hey, boss,” Sarah called. “Heading out?”
“Yeah. I won’t be back until sometime tomorrow,” Tank explained. “But no worries. Able will be in this evening to help you.”
“Oh thank goodness,” Sarah sighed.
“I wouldn’t leave you to manage it all, kiddo.”
“Yeah, because that would be an epic failure,” Sarah laughed.
“Right,” Tank laughed.
“Y’all be careful,” Sarah called over her shoulder as she went back to wiping down the tables.
“Of course,” Tank replied. Turning to Sapphire, he grabbed her hand and led her out into the early morning sun.
This wasn’t a day she was ready for, but she was grateful that she wouldn’t be alone.
“I know you said you don’t ride on the back of anyone’s bike, but there’s no point in taking my truck when I’ll need my bike to ride.”
“It’s okay,” Sapphire answered. “There aren’t any Angels here.”
“Only you.”
“Only me,” she whispered too low for him to hear.
There was so much she had to figure out. What would happen to the Angels? Which sister would be best to take over the group? Did her mother already have someone in mind? If she did, she never told Sapphire. Maybe one of the girls would step up and offer. Honestly, any one of them would be a great option — any of them, except Sapphire.