Once I’ve showered and gotten myself ready the next morning, I walk down to the buffet in the lobby with an extra bounce in my step. I could get hung up on all the maybe and shouldn’t have’s of what happened between Chris and I, but I don’t need to. I won’t. Last night was like a whirlwind that sucked me in and never let go. I know I’m not imagining what I felt in his hotel room.

The sex started as lust. It was just an outlet for emotions neither of us could understand, just bodies moving together. Had it ended that way, I’d be nursing a guilt hangover this morning, but that wasn’t how it ended. I saw the look in his eyes change, like he had some kind of epiphany. He was cradling and touching me like I was the most precious thing in the world while he made love to me. It wasn’t fucking. Fucking is dirty and raw and obviously has its place, but this wasn’t fucking, not at the end.

Every movement of his body was like a caress, as if he was worshipping me.

A wave of chills runs across my skin at the memory. I felt it too. Being the object of his undivided attention like that was a drug, and it was one I can’t imagine ever getting enough of. As soon as I saw him looking at me like he actually cared, I no longer felt stupid for all the things I’ve felt for him and been too ashamed to fully admit. Yes, I care about him. Yes, he makes me feel good despite all the reasons that shouldn’t be true. Yes, I want to be with him, whatever that means.

I bite my lip as I round the corner to the buffet, hoping I might run into Chris, but if I don’t I can always go give him a wake-up call after breakfast. He wanted me to spend the night in his room, but I had to call my sisters and give them a check-in to let them know I wouldn’t be coming back after all, despite the dramatic text I had sent on the ride home from the castle. Besides, I had a feeling neither of us would get any sleep if I tried to stay in his room.

I nearly run face-first into Alec, who is waiting with a smug look on his face. “Oh, good. It’s you.”

I glare, because screw him.

“This is for you,” he says, handing me a plane ticket.

I glance down at it, noticing it’s dated for today and scheduled to leave in only a few hours. “Oh,” I say. “You must not have talked to Chris. The plan changed. I’m actually going to be staying.”

“I talked to him this morning,” says Alec. There’s a smugness to him I don’t like. At all. “He wanted you to have this.”

I try to hand the ticket back. “You must be confused.”

“No confusion. When I showed him the contract you signed to do whatever it took to get the manuscript written, sleeping with him included, in exchange for payment, he was a little upset.”

“What contract?” I ask. My heartbeat pounds in my ears, face red and hot.

“The one you should’ve signed yourself. It’s amazing what a couple hundred dollars and an artist can do. Good thing, too. I thought Chris would just glance at it, but he actually didn’t believe me until I showed him the pictures I took of your passport and travel documents.”

I slap Alec as hard as I can. “Do you have any idea what you’re ruining?” I ask through a thick throat as I fight back tears. “You fucking asshole. Do you have any idea?”

A few people in the lobby look toward the commotion, but everyone makes an extra effort to look busy, ignoring us while they listen as hard as they can.

“I gave you a chance to work with me,” he says. “If you’re not going to be committed to helping him finish, then I’ll find someone who will. It’s that simple. So yes. I know exactly what I’m ruining. Your chances of ever being with Chris.”

It’s a good thing I don’t carry any kind of pepper spray or a concealed weapon, because I think I’d do just about anything to wipe the smug look off Alec’s face. Instead, I turn and head toward Chris’ room at a jog.

“You’re wasting your time!” calls Alec with an infuriating note of humor in his voice. “And your plane leaves soon. We won’t pay for your a new ticket if you miss the flight!”

I take the stairs up to his floor, not wanting to wait for an elevator. I find him stepping out of his room with his suitcase flung over his shoulder when I leave the staircase and enter our hall.

“Chris,” I say, stopping short. “Alec forged the signature. He just told me everything. He was bragging about—”

“Just stop,” Chris says. The way his eyes look dead and haunted breaks my heart. “I saw the signature on your passport. It’s an exact fucking match. You told me you refused him.” He shakes his head, laughing through his nose cruelly. “Maybe you could write about this on your blog to cash in since you won’t be getting that check from Alec. You can write about how you made an idiot out of me and tricked me into fucking you.”

“Chris,” I say, pleading. “Just please let me prove it to you somehow.”

“I’m done with the second chances. I should’ve known as soon as you told me about Alec’s offer that you were just as fake as all the rest of them.”

“Don’t do this,” I say, falling to my knees and crying, not even caring if anyone comes out of their room and sees me making a fool out of myself. “He’s lying. I swear it!”

He drags his eyes away from me and walks past, not even turning as he yanks open the door to the staircase. “You’d better hurry if you’re going to catch that plane. Have a good life, Lindsey. You were a good fuck, at least.”

I curl into myself, clutching my chest like my heart is about to break into pieces. I don’t know how long I sit in the hallway ugly crying, the kind of crying that will leave my face swollen and give me a headache for the rest of the day. When I’m done, all I feel is numb.

I numbly get my things from my room, numbly get myself a cab, and I numbly take the plane home. How did I ever think that I was only risking a small part of myself by coming here with Chris? I risked everything. I gave him everything. And he threw it away.