CHAPTER 18
SKYLAR
“You want me to climb all the way up there, in the dark?” I turn and give him not one but two raised brows.
After leaving the library, Scott drove me out to Old Man Hodgeman’s field. Another favorite escape of mine when we were younger.
“Oh, come on, Sky. When we were in high school, we used to come out here all the time. Remember?” He gives me a nudge with his shoulder, which makes me growl and in turn makes him laugh.
“Yeah, I remember, but back then I was a naïve girl who’d do anything to impress you.” He gives me a smirk, and I resist the urge to smack it off his handsome face.
One brow arches toward his hairline as he holds back a laugh. “Sweetheart, it would appear you and I have conflicting memories of your so-called ‘naïveté.’ Matter of fact, I seem to recall one special night in particular. Remember? It took place right up there.” He points to an area high on the tower’s ledge.
“Stop it!” I smack his arm repeatedly while shaking my head. “You don’t need to remind me, okay? Can we please not talk about that?” I swear, even in the dark he can probably make out the blush spreading across my heated cheeks.
“Fair enough,” he concedes with a smug smile. “What about now?”
“What do you mean?” I cross my arms over my chest.
Scott takes a step forward while at the same time I walk backwards until my back is flush against the ladder. He knows I have nowhere else to go, yet he still feels the need to cage me in with his arms on either side of me. “I mean, even after all this time, aren’t you the teensiest bit interested in impressing me?”
“Pul-leeze.” I roll my eyes dramatically and give him my best sass. “I couldn’t care less about what you think of me.”
“Is that so?” He bites the corner of his lip, and I nearly swallow my tongue. Damn, why does he have to be so sexy? “Well, Skylar, you wanna know what I think? I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself, or me, for that matter. I think you do care. And I think you’re too scared to climb that ladder, but you don’t want me to find out because you know I will tease you mercilessly.”
“Stop being a jackass. For the record, I am not scared. You ever think maybe I just don’t want to be alone up there with you?”
“Yeah, ‘cause you’re a chicken shit,” he taunts.
I gasp loudly and stab my finger in his muscular chest. “Scott Rivers, you take that back this instant!”
“Nope. Sorry, sweetheart. I’m just callin’ it like I see it,” he answers defiantly.
“Oh, is that so? Well, I’ll show you who’s chicken. Move.” I shove him aside then grab the rung above my head and start climbing. I’m a third of the way up before I start questioning my sanity. When we were eighteen and scampering up this same ladder, I’d been fearless. Now, at twenty-two, I just feel scared. I don’t like it. I want to be fearless again. Dammit. Ashamed as I am to admit it, I do want to impress him. I hate that he still has this effect on me. I dig deep and find my inner strength, and pretty soon I’m clambering onto the catwalk that circles the bottom of the reservoir. “Well, are you gonna join me, or are you a chicken shit?” I flap my arms and bawk like a chicken, which earns me the finger.
“Shut up,” he growls, which only makes me tease him that much harder. I don’t stop until I see the top of his head cresting the ledge I’m sitting on. He flashes me a cocky grin before pulling himself onto the catwalk and coming to sit next to me with his back against the water tank.
“What took you so long?” I tease.
“Don’t start with me, woman,” he warns, the boyish grin never leaving his face as our eyes meet. Just that quickly, I feel as if we’re transported back in time to the night when I told him I loved him for the very first time.
“Damn, girl. I’ve been all over town looking for your crazy ass,” Scott grumbles before pulling himself onto the ledge where I sit with my legs drawn close to my chest. A look of concern passes over his face before he situates himself next to me, mimicking my position. “What gives, Sky? I thought you hated coming out here alone.”
“I just… I couldn’t take it anymore… I guess, maybe I came out here looking for answers,” I murmur.
He raises a skeptical brow. “These answers you’re searching for… you trying to tell me they’re out there in Mr. Hodgeman’s soybean field?”
“I don’t know for sure. But maybe they could be,” I answer hopefully.
He doesn’t ask me to elaborate; instead, he offers a smile that says he gets it then threads his fingers with mine and does something to help me momentarily forget about my mom’s drunken rages. He sings to me.
The sound of his voice comforts me as he belts out the lyrics, complete with a hand on his chest and intense facial expressions. I can’t stop smiling because I’m so incredibly touched and happy he would go to such lengths to cheer me up.
I gaze over at him and our eyes meet. There’s something in his eyes that makes this moment seem almost magical. When he reaches the last chorus, I find myself joining in and we sing together, holding hands. We finish out the song, complete with all the ‘do be dos’ at the end and that makes him laugh, and it’s this rich melodic sound that echoes across the field of soybeans and ricochet’s straight back to pierce my rapidly beating heart.
“I lu-love you,” I blurt out, the words tumbling out of my mouth so quickly I don’t have time to reel them back in. Too late now. They’re dangling out there, waiting for him to accept them or laugh in my face, but somehow, I can’t see Scott doing that. Not to me. My heart pounds furiously, because I’ve never said those words to a boy. But Scott’s not just any boy. He was the first boy to ever kiss me. Or even care about me. I’m not sure I actually know what love is, but I know what he just did for me has left me with this strange feeling in my belly. A feeling unlike any I’ve ever known. Whatever it is, I don’t care, just so long as I keep feeling it. That’s all I care about right now.
He doesn’t say anything at first, just stares, quietly studying my face, then he rocks forward on his knees and takes my face in his calloused hands. “You see… that right there is why I’m so fucking crazy about you.” He covers my mouth with his to give me the sweetest, softest kiss before trailing his lips along my jaw, stopping only when his warm breath meets my ear. “Wanna know something, Blondie?” I hold my breath and wait for him to continue, praying he’ll whisper the words I long to hear. The words my own mother refuses to say. He lowers his cheek to my shoulder and grazes the tip of his nose across my neck, inhaling my scent. “I’m in love with you, too.”
I turn to find Scott watching me, and a warm smile fills his scruff-covered face. I think about the boy who used to sing to make me smile, and I stare back at the man who’s gone to great lengths to bring a smile to my face today. Once upon a time, I fell in love with a boy, and tonight, sitting on the ledge of this old water tower, I can admit I love him just as much today.
Maybe even more.