Chapter Eight

 

 

A FEW days later, Ethan got a very cranky voice mail from his mother.

Ethan Patrick Kennedy, this is your mother. And don’t you dare make that face at me, Ethan. I am not in the mood. And yes. You’re in trouble. Call me back.

Ethan came by his flair for the dramatic honestly. He called her back, because he’d learned from experience that to ignore her only made it worse.

His mom answered immediately. “I thought I told you that you would pay your own way in life,” she said. “You are not mooching off your roommate. I won’t let you. You pay that boy every single penny you owe him, Ethan.”

“Ma,” Ethan interrupted, taking a drag of his cigarette. “What are you talking about?” He wasn’t mooching off Riley. He was getting off on Riley. Totally different.

“There isn’t a single check made out to him on your bank statement.”

“Why are you reading my bank statement? You shouldn’t do that, Ma.”

“Then don’t have it sent to my house, son.” His mother’s voice sharpened. “Are you smoking? You’re supposed to stop that. My God. You play hockey and you smoke cigarettes. Would you want your sisters doing that?”

His mom used that a lot. “Would you want your sisters doing that? Smoking, taking Jagermeister shots, trying to ride the subway without buying a ticket.”

“No,” Ethan muttered, putting his cigarette out guiltily. His mom used that tactic because it usually worked. “But I have been. I give Riley a check every month. I swear. You think I wouldn’t?”

“I didn’t want to think that,” his mother said sternly. “I know you’re not very good with money, but you know you have to pay your bills. So if you’re giving him the checks, is he not depositing them? Tell him not to do that, honey. It’ll overdraft your account if he cashes them all at once. Then you’ll end up selling your body on the beach.”

Ethan’s neck heated. “Seriously?”

“No. But you know what I mean.”

“I live in Jacksonville, not Miami. And stop watching the Crime & Investigation network.” He grinned. “Would you want my sisters watching that stuff?”

“Of course. They need to know what’s out there in the world, Ethan. Now you make sure this gets straightened out. All right?”

Ethan promised he would, then hung up the phone and went outside to smoke.

Something wasn’t right. He couldn’t believe Riley was just not cashing his checks. It didn’t seem like him at all. Maybe it was the management company’s fault?

Ethan finished his cigarette and then took a brief walk to the apartment complex’s office. It only took a quick conversation with the office manager to figure out that the problem wasn’t the management company. And that there was no way in hell the ECHL paid Riley or Ethan enough money to afford the rent on their place. Unless fourteen people were living there, instead of two.

Ethan left the office, his mouth set in a grim line. Ethan owed Riley a fuck-ton of money, but first, Riley Hunter owed Ethan some answers.

 

 

RILEY KNEW there was something wrong, the second he got home from goalie practice.

Ethan was pacing, for one, and he was smoking inside. Which he never did. It was raining, but Riley didn’t think that was the reason. Riley spent a lot of time reading body language, and Ethan’s was the same as it was on the ice when he threw his gloves off.

Ethan had already racked up more penalty minutes than anyone else in the league, but it was rare that he was legitimately angry when he got in a fight. Pissed off, maybe. But he was usually grinning. Unless someone threw a dirty hit on a teammate. That made Ethan lose his cool.

And that was how he was looking at Riley. That wasn’t good.

“Hey,” Riley said. He headed to the kitchen and dropped his gear. “What’s wrong?”

Ethan glared at him through a haze of smoke. Riley hated how attractive he found Ethan when he smoked, because it was terrible for him. And it made Riley’s sheets smell like cigarette smoke—which was starting to become a really weird turn-on.

“So, I got a few questions about the rent.”

Oh. Fuck. “Yeah?” Well, he knew that was going to happen. Didn’t he? Only a moron would think someone wouldn’t notice their checks weren’t being cashed.

Ethan’s stare was as hot as the end of his cigarette, and his voice was tense and loud. “So you could just, you know, tell me what you’re doing with all those checks I write you, and how the hell you can afford the rent.”

Riley didn’t like yelling. No one in his family did that. Ethan’s did. Riley had heard him on the phone with his mother and both his sisters. It didn’t necessarily mean someone was angry. But Ethan was definitely angry. “I’m sorry.”

Ethan inhaled again sharply. “So you’re holding my rent checks?”

Riley nodded. There was no point in denying it. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

Fuck. How did he answer that? “I know you’re trying to save money.”

Ethan grabbed a Pepsi can and shoved his cigarette into it almost violently. “What the fuck, man? I don’t need your pity.”

Riley exhaled a slow breath. “That’s not why I did it.”

“Then why did you?” Ethan took a step closer. And oh, he was very angry—angrier than Riley had ever seen him.

Like the guy on the video. Heat curled low in Riley’s stomach, and he didn’t move away as Ethan got closer with his fists balled at his side and obviously intending to hit him. Riley figured he deserved it. But still, he wanted to explain.

“I don’t pity you,” Riley said, very slowly. “I’m—you have people you care about who want to come and see you. I could help, so why wouldn’t I?”

Ethan’s eyes flashed and he shoved Riley—hard, enough to make Riley stumble a bit in surprise. “Because I didn’t ask you to, you asshole. That’s why. And why the fuck are you lying about how much the rent is anyway? Is this what you wanted? Me to move in here, fuck around with you, and then have to stay because I don’t have any money or anywhere else to go?”

That was so far from the truth that Riley laughed. “That’s… wow, Ethan. I don’t think I could have come up with that if you paid me.”

Wrong choice of words, but Riley wasn’t thinking. Ethan wasn’t either, because his answer to that was to punch Riley in the mouth.

It hurt. A lot. Riley’s lip cut on his teeth. He tasted the sweet, coppery flavor of blood. “No. That’s not what I was doing. I didn’t expect this to happen, you know.”

“What? Us fucking around? Or me figuring out you weren’t cashing my checks? So you think I’m some dumb Irish idiot with shit for brains who can’t do math?”

“I don’t know what I thought,” Riley said, touching his fingers to his mouth. When he pulled them back, they were smeared with blood. Something strange was happening to him, and it wasn’t just how being hit in the face apparently made him want to put Ethan on his knees.

“Fuck you, Hunter. I’m leaving. I’m gonna pay you back, and fuck you for thinking I needed your goddamn charity.”

“Ethan—”

Ethan interrupted him again, so mad that he was visibly trembling. “I won’t owe you anything. Ever.” Ethan turned like he was going to go to his bedroom. To pack and then to walk out of Riley’s life.

Riley was tired of being able to afford a nice apartment and a new car, Center Ice and a PlayStation 4, and any material thing that caught his interest. And yet he could never have the only thing he’d ever really wanted—which was to help out the people who mattered to him and make things easier for them if he could.

“No.” Riley’s shoulders set. “You’re not leaving.”

“What?” Ethan turned on him. “You have no idea how much I hate, hate the thought of being your charity case.” He was breathing hard and he put a hand out in warning as Riley moved closer. “Just leave me alone. Okay?”

Riley grabbed him by the shoulders, turned, and slammed him against the wall so he could pin him. They’d done that before but never like this. Never when it was real. “Listen to me for a second. Okay? I don’t pity you. That’s not it. You want to know what it is? Fine. I’m jealous.”

“Huh?” Ethan blinked at him. He was still angry. He was red-faced and his eyes flashed. “What the fuck is going on?”

“I’m rich, Ethan,” Riley said bluntly. “Or my family is. I have more money than I’ll ever need. And I did absolutely nothing to deserve it, but that’s the truth.” Riley looked down at Ethan’s chest, where he couldn’t quite make out the tattoo through the thin white of Ethan’s shirt. He touched his fingers there. “And that number three on your chest? What you told me it meant? That’s what I’m jealous of. That’s what I never had growing up.”

Ethan’s eyes flashed hot again. “I can take care of myself. I don’t need your charity.”

“It wasn’t charity, for fuck’s sake,” Riley snapped, beginning to lose his temper. “And yeah. I should have said something, but I’d already paid the rent for the year. And besides, I knew you’d act like this. You didn’t even want me to get you a cheeseburger. All I want is for you to be able to see your family. Mine don’t even know what city I live in. I haven’t seen my parents or my sister in three years, and I can’t even tell you the last time I talked to my older brother.”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you because you had money growing up?” Ethan gave a harsh laugh. “Because I don’t.”

Riley’s eyes narrowed and his breath caught as he lost his temper. “You don’t know anything—anything—about what it was like growing up in my house. And I’m pretty sure if you could choose, you’d go for having your family and your bank account, instead of mine.”

Ethan looked like he was going to say something, but Riley clapped a hand over Ethan’s mouth and kept talking. All the things he kept bottled up bubbled and spilled over.

“I was trying to do something nice. And okay. I admit it. I fucked up. But I wasn’t trying to get laid, and I wasn’t trying to make you a charity case.” Riley leaned closer, his breathing harsh. “And what the fuck are you afraid of? Huh? Your family won’t think you can take care of them anymore if you let someone help you?”

“What the fuck.” Ethan tried to kick him. “I’m serious. Get your hands off me before I put you in the goddamn hospital.”

He was right. Riley knew it. He also knew Ethan wouldn’t really hurt him. “Just tell me who it’s really helping, Ethan, not to let me do one simple thing for you. Them? Or you?”

“You need to let me go. Seriously. I don’t—” Ethan stared at him, his eyes wide and his hands fisted in Riley’s shirt. “I don’t need you to do anything. I don’t need you to take care of me. Fuck you.”

“But what if I want to,” Riley shouted, his hands on Ethan’s shoulders. He actually shook him, he was so frustrated.

Ethan reacted like Riley had whacked him in the head with his goalie stick. “Too bad. I won’t let you.”

“Why not?” Riley forced him back against the wall again.

Ethan’s voice went flat, and the fire in his eyes dimmed. “Because the last person who was supposed to take care of us left, Riley. And he let us all down. And I won’t let anyone do that again.”

“Why does it mean you can’t take care of them if someone takes care of you?”

“Because no one wants to do that,” Ethan yelled, and it took Riley by surprise.

“I keep telling you that I do.” Riley tried to find that calm center that was so much a part of him, the place he went to on the ice where no one could touch him. But he couldn’t manage it. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe he had to fight if he really wanted something. Wanted Ethan.

“Why?” Ethan’s hands went to Riley’s chest, and he pushed him back enough so he could look Riley in the eye. “Why the fuck would you want to do that?”

Ethan sounded so honestly surprised by that, it made Riley want to kiss him. “I just do. Okay?”

“No way. Not good enough. If you want to take care of me, then that means this isn’t just about sex. It’s about feelings.” Ethan hit his head against the wall again. “Do you understand how hard it is for me to trust you?”

Riley nodded. “Yeah. I do.” He pulled Ethan closer and kissed him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It was really stupid of me, and I don’t usually do things like that. You just… I don’t know, Ethan. Something about you makes me take chances that I don’t ever take.”

Ethan leaned forward and put his forehead against Riley’s. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Me neither,” Riley mumbled, but apparently he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. “I never talk about shit, Ethan. I just stay quiet and play my game. But I’m not doing that. Not with you. I’m sorry for not telling you. I know it was the wrong thing to do.”

Ethan stared at him for a long moment and then said, “Am I hearing you right, Hunter, because it sounds like what you’re saying is that there are feelings involved, here. With us.”

Riley felt something tight begin to loosen in his chest. “That’s what I’m saying.” He tried to kiss Ethan, but Ethan was as wound up as Riley had ever seen him. “Is everything okay?”

“No? I mean. Obviously I have some… uh. Feelings for you too.” Ethan’s face was bright red, but Riley didn’t think it was just from anger. “We’re talking about my daddy issues and your emotional insecurity, Riley. What about this sounds okay?”

“I’m glad it’s not just me?” Riley tried to smile. His lip hurt. “I don’t see how you laugh when people hit you in the face.”

“’Cause I get to hit them back,” Ethan muttered. His eyes were still wide. “I’m not sure I’m going to be very good at this whole… feelings thing.”

“I’m not sure I will be either.” Riley slid his fingers over Ethan’s jaw, his mouth. “We could ignore it for right now and go back to the thing we’re good at, if that makes you feel better.”

Ethan raised his eyebrows. “You want me on my knees, don’t you?”

“I’ve wanted that for a long time,” Riley said, and then lost his breath entirely when Ethan dropped to his knees in front him. “Ethan—”

“Hey.” Ethan looked up at him, defiant and gorgeous, a fighter from the tip of his head to the soles of his Doc Martens. He braced his palms on Riley’s thighs. “I’m good with you calming me down with sex, Riley. Don’t question it. Trust me. Let me in.”

Riley put his head back against the wall and groaned. “Oh my God. What have I done?”

“Too late. And if you ask me if I’m doing this as a thank-you for your paying our rent, I will bite your dick off.” Ethan worked at his jeans, making Riley’s breath catch and his cock harden, but he looked up at Riley and said a little nervously, “I know how bad you want this. What if it’s not any good?”

Riley reached down and got his pants off, freed himself from his underwear and grabbed Ethan by the back of the neck. “I don’t think you have to worry about that. You’re always good. I’ve liked everything so far. Haven’t I?”

“Yeah. But you’re kind of an enigma, Riley.” Ethan opened his mouth tentatively and carefully licked Riley’s cock. Like he was delicately trying to discern the flavor of an unknown lollipop—that was very possibly on fire.

It made Riley hiss softly. “See? I liked that. Try it again. I’m a guy, Ethan, I like blow jobs. That can’t be that hard to figure out.”

“Shh.” Ethan put his hand around Riley’s cock and then said, “Screw it. I’m in this,” and slid his mouth over Riley’s cock.

Riley moaned as Ethan’s tongue rubbed the bottom of his dick. “Oh, fuck,” Riley groaned, his hand tightening on Ethan’s neck. “Fuck.”

Ethan slowly pulled back, then leaned forward again. He tried sucking, which made Riley twitch, because it actually kind of tickled.

Ethan was intent on what he was doing, but that didn’t mean he stopped talking. “Do you like this? What about this? Oh, should I…? No, wait. Okay, just let me try something.” Ethan looked determined, like Riley’s dick was his newest opponent. Which wasn’t a very comfortable thought until Ethan took him in his mouth and leaned forward until he choked.

Riley’s heel kicked back against the wall. “Fuck. Yes. Yes, I like that—”

Ethan did it again and then again. When he stopped, he was gasping for breath. “You’re way kinkier than I thought. Always the quiet ones.” He jacked Riley loosely with his hand. “Actually stop being so quiet.”

Riley made a noise and nodded.

Ethan looked very pleased with himself, and he went back to sucking Riley’s cock with the same enthusiasm and slightly aggressive determination with which he went after everything else. And he choked again, which made Riley gasp and moan and try desperately to find some purchase in Ethan’s hair to hang on.

“Umm.” Riley finally tugged on Ethan’s neck. “You should maybe—”

Ethan pulled off and got his hand around Riley again. It wasn’t like they’d figured out hand jobs perfectly yet, but Ethan was getting pretty good at them. What got Riley off, though, was when Ethan looked up at him all wide-eyed and panting for breath, with his mouth all wet and said, “Oh.” Quietly. Like maybe he’d just figured something out.

Riley wasn’t sure why that made him come, but it did.

He offered to return the favor, but Ethan turned red and muttered, “Uh, not necessary.”

Things were normal for the rest of the evening. They played video games, Ethan smoked a few cigarettes—outside—and they watched the West Coast game between the Devils and the Sharks on the NHL Network. That involved a very long discussion of who would win in a fight between a devil and a shark, which—shockingly—came to no logical conclusion.

It wasn’t until they decided they should go to sleep that things got weird. They stood in the living room, eyeing each other warily.

“Well.” Ethan rubbed a hand over his head. “So. Good night?”

“Yeah. I mean, you too.” Riley cleared his throat. Was he supposed to kiss Ethan good night and go to his own room? Or what? Dating your roommate was confusing.

“Do you have like, rules and shit?”

Riley blinked, still caught up in his quandary over sleeping arrangements. “For having a good night?”

“No. For like, before games and things?” Ethan wasn’t looking at him. The tips of his ears were red. “About sleeping. And sex. Come on. You’re the superstitious one. Right?”

“I don’t have any for that. No.” Riley smiled at him. “Why?”

“Oh, fuck you.” Ethan hit him on the shoulder and then shoved Riley toward his bedroom. He did it again and then again, which meant he was following Riley. “I know it’s only been four hours. So maybe you forgot the whole part about the feelings we decided we just had to have? Before we got distracted by the sex.”

“No. I didn’t forget the part about the feelings. But I was definitely distracted,” Riley said, grinning wickedly. “Believe me.”

“It’s all just sex, sex, sex with you. Isn’t it?” Ethan sighed dramatically, but he looked pleased. “If we have feelings, then you’re my boyfriend. And if you’re my boyfriend, then I’m sleeping with you.” Ethan crossed his arms. “I might have let you out of it if you’d blamed it on hockey, but you didn’t. And now you can’t.”

Riley reached out, grabbed Ethan, and pulled him hard against him. “Good.” He kissed him. Maybe they were still learning all the other stuff, but Riley decided they were really good at kissing. Top tier of the kissing league. Definitely.

Things I’m never saying out loud, ever.

“What? You’re laughing. Are you laughing at my kissing? I’m trying not to hurt your lip, idiot, but if you’re going to laugh, I’ll hit you again.”

Riley pushed Ethan on his bed and climbed on top of him. Fighters were supposed to stop when they went down. Right? Maybe instinct would kick in.

If not, Riley would take Ethan’s pants off. It was always good to a have a plan.