Chapter Six

 

“So, Savannah, how have the last few days been?” Molly asked, smiling at her warmly through the computer screen.

It was kind of weird having sessions via Skype. She wondered if she might be more comfortable talking to Molly in her office, rather than sitting here in her own living room.

Other than the first time, the guys always gave her privacy to talk to Molly. She knew neither of them was overly comfortable talking to a therapist. Max had seen one when he was in the armed forces, but from what little he’d said, it hadn’t been a good experience.

And Logan, well, he just wasn’t comfortable speaking to almost anyone, period.

“Frustrating,” Savannah replied.

Molly raised her eyebrows. When Laken had talked about her therapist, Savannah had always pictured her as older, sort of motherly. Instead, Molly was around her age. She was attractive with vibrant, red hair she pulled back into a high pony tail, and big green eyes. She never took notes or looked away, which was a bit disconcerting in the beginning, to have all that attention on her. But Savannah had soon learned Molly really cared. Sure, she was paying her to care, but Molly always gave one hundred percent focus to whatever Savi was saying.

It had been a struggle for Savannah to open up. If the guys hadn’t been with her during that first session, she’d probably have barely spoken, she might even have given up on the whole thing and walked away. But as time went on, it became easier to open up.

She’d wondered why it was easier to talk with Molly rather than her men or her friends, but she thought it helped that Molly was a professional. Because she knew the other woman wouldn’t walk away just because she was tired of hearing about Savannah’s shit.

“Want to tell me what that thought was?” Molly asked.

Nope.

She sighed. This wouldn’t work unless she opened up. And it had to work.

“I just thought that it’s easier to talk to you rather than people I know. I know you’re not judging me, or if you are, you’re good at hiding it, and it doesn’t matter so much because we don’t really know each other.”

“Do you often worry people will judge you?”

“Not really. Well, sort of. I worry they’ll get tired of hearing about my issues.”

“You went through a terrible experience, Savannah. I don’t think people will judge you or think badly of you for wanting to speak of it. Especially not friends or family.”

“Actually, I don’t think my family cares in the slightest.”

Molly just waited in silence. It was a good trick. Savannah had thought about trying to use it on Logan when he was particularly stubborn, but she just didn’t have the patience. And the big guy could be really, really stubborn.

“My mother is a serial husband collector. She’s on number six.”

“Why do you think her marriages don’t last?”

“Because she’s a drama queen. Because everything that happens in the world affects her somehow. I swear, there can be a terrible earthquake in New Zealand, and my mother will claim mental distress because she saw a crushed building and had a dream she was inside it or some such shit. The thing is, men seem to fall for it. Her helpless, damsel in distress routine.”

“But they soon realize that romantic ideal of rescuing a damsel and being a hero isn’t one they want to act out again and again and again?”

“Exactly.” She should have known Molly would understand.

“And her issues mean she is always focused on herself. No one else.”

“Yep. The only time I ever felt like the focus was somewhat on me was when I was engaged.”

“Does she get on with Logan and Max?”

“Oh, hell, no. They can’t stand each other.” She grinned. “Logan calls her Drusilla.”

“But instead of Dalmatian skins, she collects husband’s souls?” Molly guessed.

“You’re quick.”

“Lots of cartoon watching when I was a kid.” Molly smiled wryly. “Did she try to talk you out of marrying them?”

“Yes, of course. She doesn’t understand why I want to live out here in the middle of nowhere, which to my mother is anywhere that doesn’t have a Macy’s. I swear she thinks I live in a dirt hut in Timbuktu.”

“But she was focused on you when she tried to talk you out of marrying them?”

“Oh, no, it was all about her. What would her friends think? What would she tell people? How could I hurt her like that? No, it wasn’t my engagement to Max and Logan I was talking about. It was my other engagement.”

“You were married before?”

“Nope. Didn’t make it to the altar. In fact, the day I met Max and Logan was the day I was supposed to get married. I was a runaway bride.”

“Seems to have worked out for you.”

“Oh, it did. Alistair wasn’t my choice. My mother introduced us. In fact, maybe I should suggest him to my mom for her next husband. They deserve each other.”

“What happened?”

“I came home from the gym early because, well, let’s just say there was a treadmill incident. I only went because my mother insisted I would feel better if I lost some weight before the wedding.” She glanced down at herself. “Guess she’d be thrilled at the way I look now. I found Alistair in bed with our next-door neighbor. She was married as well. Think she still is. He’s filthy, stinking rich. You’d think he could have rented a hotel room instead of doing it in our bed.”

“Maybe he wanted to get caught.”

Savannah stilled, startled by that revelation. “Maybe. I think he was getting a lot of pressure from his parents to marry me. They ran in the same circles as my mother. She was thrilled. It was the only time in my life when I felt like she really noticed me. Well, other than to nitpick my appearance, my choice to get a higher education and work, blah, blah, blah.”

“She must have noticed when you ran off.”

Savannah grimaced. “Ah, yeah. She’s not going to forget that anytime soon. That woman never forgets a wrong, real or imagined. She claims she barely escaped social ruin. Personally, I think I gave her something to dine on for years.” She shrugged. “We never did see eye to eye.”

“But then you met Max and Logan.”

She grinned. “They were the complete opposite of every man I’d ever dated. Dominant, protective, real. That flat tire turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. So I guess in the end, I should be thanking Alistair for cheating on me.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Molly said.

They grinned at each other.

***

“Max!”

Max swore silently to himself. Christ, couldn’t a man get a few moments of peace? He pushed his irritation aside and turned. Savannah was having her session with the shrink right now, and he was hurrying to get home before it finished. Logan was around, but after her panic attack yesterday he wanted to be close by.

He hadn’t been overly enthusiastic about her seeing a therapist, but this one seemed better than most. Maybe they weren’t all like the asshole he’d seen, who’d preyed on soldiers who were just trying to cope with everything they’d seen and done. However, he’d still be watching her carefully, if these sessions were too much for her, he’d put a stop to them. Nothing was more important than Savannah’s health.

“What can I do for you, Atkinson?”

The older man smiled, although Max thought it looked forced.

“Have you thought more about my offer?”

“Yep.”

“And?” The other man asked impatiently.

There was something about Atkinson Max didn’t like. Maybe it was that he was so damn pushy. He’d made Max an offer, a good offer, and Max had told him he’d think about it. Atkinson didn’t seem to want to leave that where it was, though. He had to keep asking. If Max wasn’t desperate, he’d tell the other man where he could stick his offer.

He smiled as he thought about doing just that.

“I’m still thinking about it,” Max told him, turning his back on the other man and opening the door to his truck. “I’ve got to go.”

“Yes, yes, of course. No doubt you want to get back to that sweet wife of yours. How’s she doing after her fright?”

Why was he asking about Savannah? Far as Max knew the two had never met. Atkinson had moved into the area four months ago when he’d bought Murchison’s spread. That he was already trying to buy more land made Max suspicious.

He decided he wouldn’t be taking Atkinson up on his offer. If he was forced to sell, then he’d do it on his terms. Travis had called him earlier and left a message to call him back. Max couldn’t afford not to call him. They needed the cash. Desperately.

He turned back to study Atkinson, who looked a little smug. “I wouldn’t call it a fright. She didn’t find a rat in the basement.”

“No, no, I didn’t mean to trivialize what she went through, not at all. I have to go, but let me know about that offer. Quickly or it may disappear.”

Now what made him leave in such a rush? Usually, Max had to be extra rude to get rid of him. It was always the best part of their conversations.

He turned to see Jake crossing the road. Hmm, could that be why he’d left in a hurry? The sheriff stared after Atkinson thoughtfully. “Runs every time he sees me coming, like a scared rabbit. Or a guilty one.”

Max raised his eyebrows. “You think he’s guilty of something?”

“Don’t know. Can’t find any record. Did a background check when he bought Murchison’s spread. Nothing came up, but there’s something about him. I can’t get him to stand still long enough to even talk to him. Makes my palms itch.”

“Reckon you can get a prescription for that,” Max joked.

“Asshole.” Jake smiled though. “How're things?”

“Good. Just came in for supplies. Got to get back, Savannah’s having a therapy session, and I want to get there before it’s over.”

Jake nodded. “Glad she’s getting help. You need anything, you tell me.” The big sheriff stepped away. “And watch out for that Atkinson, I don’t trust him.”

“He offered to buy our place.”

Jake paused and turned to look at him thoughtfully. “Did he?”

“Could be he just wants to extend his holdings,” Max offered.

“Rumor has it he’s been selling off most of his livestock.”

He had? Max should have known about that. But then, he’d been occupied lately.

“So why does he want to expand?” Max asked.

“Exactly. Might just have a word with Alec Malone, see if he’s had any offers from Atkinson lately.”

Alec owned a large ranch on the other side of Atkinson.

Max snorted. “He’d have more luck getting water out of a rock than he would getting Alec to sell out.”

Jake nodded. “Probably get run off the property by one of those crazy brothers of his. I’ll talk to him anyway. They won’t dare try to run me off by taking pot-shots at me.”

“Good luck with that.”

He was going to need it. Alec Malone had five younger brothers, and they were each crazier than the next. And they didn’t like strangers. Although if anyone could hold their own, it was Jake.

It would take an extra sort of crazy to go up against Jake.

***

“So why are you frustrated, Savannah?” Molly asked.

Hmm . . . let’s see. Because she couldn’t leave the house? Because her men didn’t sleep in the same bed as her? Because they were still treating her like she was fragile? Because she wasn’t getting laid?

“I thought things would have changed by now. For the better.”

“In what way?”

“I suppose I thought I’d be able to open the front door without having a panic attack.”

Molly sat forward. “You tried?” There was a small frown on her face.

“Yes. Didn’t even make it to the door before I started to get stressed. Then Max opened the door from the outside, and, in my panic I thought he was Stanton, I totally freaked out. I tried to hit him.”

“What did he do?”

“He just crouched down next to me and started talking. I can’t even remember what he said. I can just remember his calm voice.”

“Good. He handled it right, then. You shouldn’t have tried doing that without my input. You can’t push yourself too fast, Savannah.”

“But I feel like I’m not getting anywhere.”

“Where do you want to be? Besides not being able to leave the house what is frustrating you so much?”

“I want . . . I want my relationship with Max and Logan to go back to what it was. We don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore. One of them sleeps on the floor, and the other sleeps upstairs in our bedroom.”

“Why is that?”

She glanced down at her clenched hands. “In the beginning, it was so I didn’t have to go up and down the stairs with my injuries, and they didn’t want to sleep in bed with me in case they hurt me.”

“But you’re fully recovered now. You could go upstairs on your own.”

She could. Of course, she could, but . . .

“You’re worried they don’t want to sleep with you? Have they given you any indication they feel that way?”

“It used to be that they couldn’t stop touching me.” Making love to her. She hadn’t realized how much she’d needed that attention until it was gone. “They tell me they love me.” Once she’d pointed out that she hadn’t heard them say it in a while. “They give me small kisses and gentle hugs. But . . .”

“It’s not the same.”

“No. They’re worried about scaring me. But Max and Logan would never hurt me. I’m not saying I might not react strangely sometimes. I might have flashbacks. But I miss them touching me. I miss sex, damn it.”

Molly smiled. “Sounds like you’re frustrated all right.”

“Yep.”

“You could take charge. March on up to your bedroom and stake your claim. Initiate sex.”

“Yes, I know.” She dropped her gaze to her lap.

“But?”

“It’s silly.”

“No, it’s not. It’s how you feel. That’s never silly.”

Spoken like a true therapist. “They’ve always sort of taken charge, you know? I’m used to them—” she broke off, blushing. No need to get into your sex life with the therapist, Savannah.

“They’re dominant in the bedroom?”

“Not just there,” she muttered.

“You practice BDSM?” Molly asked matter-of-factly. As though she were asking Savannah whether she took milk in her coffee.

Savannah could feel the flush creep up her face. Holy shit, how had they gotten onto this?

“No,” she squeaked then cleared her throat. “We don’t . . . they’re not . . . hell’s bells. They’re not my Doms. We don’t go to clubs, we don’t have a room filled with floggers and paddles. I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”

Molly laughed. “Don’t worry. I have all sorts of clients with all sorts of kinks, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Well, Savannah guessed she should have known it wouldn’t phase Molly. She hadn’t blinked when Savannah said she had two husbands. Although she’d figured Laken had given her a head’s up.

“Do you know anything about Haven?”

Molly shook her head.

“Um, well, around here men are slightly more dominant than you’ll find in other places. They tend to be overly protective—of all the women. When I was new in town, a man approached me asking for directions. I decided it was easier just to take him over to the development he wanted to see. As we were heading off, the sheriff intercepted us and asked what was going on. Then he gave the man directions, pulled me into his office and proceeded to lecture me for ten minutes on the dangers of speaking to strangers like I was a child. He then told me if he couldn’t rely on me to keep myself safe he’d assign guardians who’d see that I followed the rules, and if I didn’t . . .” she drifted off.

“If you didn’t?” Molly asked, looking intrigued.

“They’d spank my butt. It’s not abuse,” she said quickly.

“Oh, no, I get it.”

“You do?”

“You’d be amazed by the number of people I counsel who find that a good spanking is an excellent form of stress release.”

Really? But, then, Savannah guessed she was right. Sometimes a spanking served to release all the tension and tears she had bottled up, allowing her a way to let go and get it all out. She’d just never really thought of it that way before, but maybe that’s part of the reason she sometimes deliberately pushed her men.

Well, that and the sex afterwards.

“Savannah, can you ask your husbands to come into this session?”

“What? Now?”

“Yes, I think we need to have this talk with them present.”

Shit. She wasn’t ready for that.

“You did say you were frustrated things weren’t moving faster. They aren’t mind readers. You need to tell them what you want.”

Savannah sighed, knowing she was right. “Are you sure we have time?”

“We have time. Besides, I can just bill you extra.” Molly winked.

Savannah smiled, although she didn’t think her insurance would like that. She grabbed her phone and sent a text to both men. “I’m not sure if Max is around.”

“Well, let’s wait and see. It would be best if they were both here.”

Two texts came back. “They’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“Good. Let’s do this.”

All right for her to say. She wasn’t the one about to lay herself bare.

***

Logan walked into the house, following Max. They’d been unloading the supplies Max had gotten in town when they’d received the text from Savannah.

“Do you think she’s okay?” he asked, moving past Max, impatient to get to her. He entered the living room before Max could answer, his gaze zeroing in on Savannah.

“You okay? What’s wrong?” She looked flushed to him. Was she coming down with something?

“Nothing’s wrong. Molly just wanted to talk to you both.”

He walked over and placed the back of his hand on her forehead. “You feel warm.”

“It’s warm in here.”

Logan was unconvinced.

“Logan, Max. Nice to see you again. Maybe you could all take a seat so I can see your faces.”

Logan sat on one side of her, while Max sat on the other.

“What’s going on?” Max asked sharply, looking uncomfortable.

Logan studied Savannah intently.

Reaching over, she took hold of Logan’s hand. “I’m fine, Logan. I promise.”

He grunted. She took Max’s hand as well, almost clinging to them.

“I asked for the two of you to attend this session because Savannah has brought up some issues that concern you both.”

“What is it?” Max asked.

“Oh . . . I . . . um . . .”

“Savannah would like to discuss your sleeping arrangements,” Molly interjected.

“What do you mean? Don’t you want us sleeping with you?” Logan asked sharply. Did she want them to leave her alone at night? He couldn’t do it. As it was, when it was his turn to sleep upstairs he didn’t get much sleep. He missed her. Worried about her.

“That’s just it, you don’t sleep with me,” Savannah pointed out. “I want to sleep with you again, in our bed. No more sleeping on the floor. No more sleeping in the spare bedroom. All three of us should be in our own bed.”

Hell, yeah.

“Well?” she asked, looking nervous.

“Savannah, the only reason we haven’t been sleeping with you is because we thought you might sleep better on your own,” Max said. “We didn’t want you to wake up and get frightened if we were beside you.”

“I feel better when you guys are close. When you’re touching me.”

“I’ll move your stuff now,” Logan said, rising. If she wanted to sleep with them, then he wasn’t saying no. In fact, he was going to move her things before she could change her mind. There was nothing he wanted more than to have her in his arms again.

“Wait up, Logan. There’s more,” Molly said.

Savannah smiled up at him. “Sit down, big guy.”

“Savannah?” Molly prodded.

“I want sex,” she blurted out.

“Do we really need to have this conversation in front of her?” Max half-whispered, deliberately not looking at Molly.

Logan liked that Molly didn’t beat around the bush. He’d been worried she’d talk therapist speak and he wouldn’t understand a word she said. Or that she’d drone on and on about useless stuff. But she seemed a straight shooter to him.

“Please,” Savannah begged.

Logan frowned over her head at Max. Savannah had only had a few sessions with Molly, and already she was ready to move back into their bed. As far as Logan was concerned, Molly was a miracle worker, and he’d do whatever she told him to as long as it helped Savi.

Anything but leave her. He could never do that.

“Fine. You want sex.” Max’s words were stilted.

“No problem, darlin’,” Logan said quickly. “Whatever you want.”

Savannah looked slightly frustrated. She glanced over at Molly.

“That seems to be part of the issue, Logan,” the therapist said gently.

Huh? Now she’d lost him.

“So much of Savannah’s life is different. There is before she was attacked and after. I think we all know that you can’t go back to what you had before. She has triggers and fears she didn’t have before. But there are some things that haven’t changed. Her love for the two of you hasn’t changed, and I assume your love for her hasn’t either?”

“Of course it fucking hasn’t,” Max said, looking offended. “We love her more than ever.”

Logan pulled Savannah close, wrapping his arm around her waist. “You know we love you, right, Savi?”

“I know, it’s just . . . you’re both treating me like I’m fragile. Like I’ll fall apart at a wrong touch. I’m not saying I won’t get scared or have flashbacks sometimes. But I know you guys would never hurt me. I don’t want gentle, tender sex. Well, you know, not all the time. I want you guys to be like you used to be, take charge and dominant.”

“I could do the wrong thing and scare you,” Logan said, worried. He didn’t want her to fear him.

“And if you did, then you would soothe her. You would do what Max did the other day and talk to her calmly. Bring her back gradually. Nobody said Savannah would be cured overnight, but this is a step forward for all of you. And sometimes, having someone take charge can be good for someone recovering from a traumatic incident.”

What the hell was she talking about? He looked over at Max, but the other man had his head down. Logan sighed. There was still stuff going on with Max he wasn’t talking about. But Logan could only deal with one thing at a time. Right now, he was trying to understand what the hell the therapist was talking about.

“You want us to take charge of Savannah?”

“Look,” Molly leaned forward, “I wouldn’t suggest this to my vanilla patients.”

Vanilla? She thought they were part of the BDSM lifestyle. He opened his mouth, but she waved her hand.

“I know you don’t practice BDSM but Savannah has told me a little of your relationship, and I think this might be of some benefit. For some of my submissive clients, when everything gets to be too much, and they can’t stop the thoughts or the voices or memories, they might ask their Dom to take control. They move into high protocol where the Dominant partner is in complete control. They decide everything. Not all the time, just for a period to give the sub a break. Life can be stressful and overwhelming, and it’s a way to tune all that out. Spanking is another way.”

Huh?

He looked over at Max again. Why wasn’t he helping him out here?

“A spanking can be a great stress reliever when someone’s been bottling things up as Savannah does. A way to get out tears and frustration. Again, not all the time. It’s just a thought.”

“What do we do when we take charge?” Logan asked.

“Oh, I don’t think either of you will have a problem with that. Don’t push her to do anything that might be a trigger. Don’t tie her up, don’t force her to go outside, avoid any of the words or phrases he used.”

“We wouldn’t do that!” Logan said, outraged.

“I wouldn’t have suggested this if I thought you would or if I didn’t think Savannah completely trusted you. It’s obvious how much you all love each other. Just think about it.”

Logan nodded. He glared at Max again. Was he even listening?

“If any of you have any questions or issues or you just want to talk feel free to call me at any time,” Molly told them.

“Yeah, okay,” Logan said, even though he knew he’d never call her.

“Good. I think that’s enough for you all to think about today. Savannah, how have you been getting on with your list of self-affirmations?”

Logan could tell by the way Savannah squirmed and looked down that she felt guilty as hell.

“Have you written any down?” Molly asked.

“No. I just don’t see the point.”

“This, along with the exercises I taught you can really help with the negative thoughts. I want you to try and write five before our next session.”

“Oh, I don’t think—”

“She’ll do it,” Logan said firmly even though he didn’t know what the hell self-affirmations were. “If you think it will help, she’ll do it.”

“Logan!”

“Good.” Molly smiled at him. “Now, Savannah, no more trying to push yourself to go outside. We’ll get there, I promise. We’ve come a long way in a short time, and you need to be patient. Understand?

“Yes, all right.”

“My stomach is rumbling, so it’s time to go. Max, Logan, good to see you again. Savannah, I’ll talk to you soon.”