Chapter Seven
Zola was exhausted when they reached the hotel. She wished she could have slept in the car, but every time she closed her eyes, she pictured two men in dark clothes lurking around the fantastic beach home that didn’t even belong to them.
She hoped those two assholes didn’t do anything to destroy the house, because it was gorgeous and owned by Mike’s friend. The man was kind enough to let Mike stay in it. He hadn’t known it would be compromised by terrorists when he rented it out.
Now what? She had no idea what the plan was, and honestly, she couldn’t focus on anything except fear for more than a few seconds at a time.
She tugged her coat around her shoulders and crossed her arms in front of her as if she were chilled to the bone as they headed for the hotel entrance. Mike set his hand on her back to lead her, and the heat of his palm seemed to reach through her coat. Irrational, but it soothed her.
She hardly paid any attention to whatever he said to the man behind the desk as he secured a room, and then they were in the elevator. “I have nothing,” she mumbled, as if that mattered when she should be grateful she was alive.
“I know. We’ll get some things. Don’t worry.”
She pointed at his back pack. “What’s in there? And why did you bring it with us?”
He hauled it farther up his shoulder. “I don’t go anywhere without at least my backpack. It’s rare for me to even leave it in the car. I hate that I was complacent enough to have done that. But I’m glad I grabbed it from the house.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” she pointed out as they stepped out of the elevator.
He gave her a wry smile. “Mostly you don’t want to know. Weapons. Money. Important stuff like that.”
“So no toothbrushes? Shampoo? Important stuff like that?” She tried to mimic him as if the two lists were similar. And she tried to sound humorous.
He chuckled. “No. Sorry.” His hand again at the small of her back, he led her to the room and opened the door.
Instant heat hit her in the face. It was too hot in the room. But under the circumstances, she was so cold, it felt welcome. She kicked off her heels, shrugged out of her coat, and draped it over the back of a chair while Mike turned the deadbolt and slid the chain through its channel.
Without a word, he reached for the thermostat to adjust it next. And then he passed her up to drag the blinds closed, dropped his own jacket on top of hers, and came to her. The look on his face made her unravel. She pursed her lips to hold her emotions in an attempt to prevent tears of stress from falling. “Shit,” she muttered against his chest as he tugged her in for a hug.
He threaded one hand into her hair, set the other on the bare skin of her back, and stroked her gently. “We’re safe now.”
“Are we?” she asked his dress shirt. It didn’t seem like she was safe. In fact, it seemed like she hadn’t been safe for a long time. She’d been in denial.
“Shh. Baby, we are. Trust me. No one followed us here. We won’t stay more than the night, but you can relax for now.”
She nodded against him, words no longer possible. After an intense hour in the car with her mind wandering to every possible and impossible scenario, she felt wrung out.
Mike continued to hold her, rocking her gently in his embrace.
She slowly relaxed, turning her face to one side so that her cheek rested on his firm pecs. There was one bed in the room. King-size. Maybe in another time or place she would have cared about that arrangement but not in this new world. No way would she want to sleep any place but in his arms.
He wouldn’t balk at the idea, would he?
She took a deep breath, and Mike slid his hands to her face to cup her cheeks and tip her head back. “Better?”
“Yeah.”
A knock sounded at the door, and she nearly jumped out of her skin.
“Sorry. My bad. I forgot to mention someone was bringing us a few necessities.”
“Ah.” She hated the loss the second he released her to head for the door. As if still chilled, she crossed her arms and shuddered while he looked through the peephole and then opened the door to take a bag of items from housekeeping.
After securing them inside again, he turned around. “Toothpaste. Toothbrushes. Razors. Comb. Maybe not everything you’d normally use, but better than nothing.” He reached into the tiny bathroom and set the stash on the counter. And then he was back. His brow furrowed.
She took a deep breath. “I’ll be okay.” She forced herself to straighten to her full height and pulled her shoulders back. She didn’t drop her arms, but it was all she could do.
He set his hands on her shoulders and met her gaze. “What can I do?”
“Honestly?”
He nodded, his eyes narrowing. “Of course.”
The world was upside down. Her entire existence was precarious. She was trapped in a small hotel room with the only man she’d ever loved. She didn’t have the first clue why he let her walk away all those years ago, but at the moment, she also didn’t care.
Her attraction to him hadn’t lessened with time. And it would appear he still desired her also. So, what did she need? She needed the connection she knew they still shared.
“I need you to make love to me.” She’d been open about sex even at seventeen. He had also turned her down repeatedly at that time. If he did so now, she might actually come undone.
They were grown adults, not kids. She wasn’t a virgin. Her father didn’t rule her life any longer. They weren’t strangers.
And yet, he didn’t respond in a way she wanted. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She groaned. Her shoulders fell, and she wiggled out of his grasp. “Seriously? What are you? Twelve?” She ducked around him to get to the bathroom, where at least she wouldn’t have to look at him.
“Zola…”
She grabbed the doorframe and looked back at him. “Do you not realize how insulting that is to a woman? That’s not the first time I’ve put all my cards on the table only to have you turn me down. It hurts. But don’t worry. It won’t happen again. That’s the last time I’ll open myself up to that level of vulnerability.” She slid into the bathroom, shut the door, and locked it.
Mike’s expression had been one of shock, his eyes wide, his hands fisted at his sides.
She turned on the shower before doing anything else and then eased out of the only item of clothing she had with her and hooked it behind the door. Under the sound of the water running, she groaned. She didn’t even have on panties or a bra.
Regardless of the unintended outcome of the evening, she had worn that dress without a bra or panties intentionally to seduce Mike after dinner. She’d wanted to tease him, maybe coax some answers out of him. If things had gone her way, she had been open to the possibility of sleeping with him. Damn the consequences. And the intensity of the night hadn’t dampened that need.
The bathroom filled with steam, so she stepped under the spray and closed the curtain. For a long time, she stood there, letting the water run down her body, warming her, loosening her muscles. She was wrinkly by the time she grabbed the hotel shampoo, conditioner, and then soap.
When she finally stepped out of the enclosure, she made use of everything else Mike had acquired, grateful for his thoughtfulness while still pissed at his overly chivalrous stance.
“I’m not a goddamn child,” she muttered. “I know my mind.” With a deep breath, she turned around, grabbed a dry towel, and wrapped it around her. She didn’t have a thing to wear. Not even panties. Too damn bad.
When she opened the door, she almost dropped the grip she had on the towel and swallowed her tongue.
Mike stood in the doorway, two inches from her, his hands holding the frame. He was also completely naked. “Do I look twelve to you?”
She swallowed. No. No, he certainly did not. Had he been that damn big in high school? She let her gaze roam up and down his body, pausing a moment at his left knee, the one that had obviously undergone several surgeries and had scars on both sides. The injuries only made him sexier somehow. Like badges of honor. Courage.
He released the doorframe slowly and reached out to grab the corner of the towel where she held it together. With a quick yank, he divested her of the barrier and dropped it on the floor.
His gaze heated as he perused her body. “You certainly don’t look twelve.”
It took every ounce of self-control not to cover herself. Instead, she let him look. After all, she had yet to remove her gaze from his chiseled body either.
“You were the hottest girl in school, but so much better now as a woman.”
Her face heated at the compliment.
He lifted a hand again and gently, slowly stroked a finger down her cheek, across her neck, over her shoulder, and then between her breasts.
She shuddered.
He didn’t stop there. He circled her breast and then slid that finger right over the tip of her nipple.
She moaned, arching her chest toward him.
“Oh, baby. That’s so fucking sexy.” He lurched forward, wrapped his arm around her, and hauled her against him. In less than a second, soft was gone and hard took over. He crushed her against his hard body and took her lips in a kiss that drove all thoughts away.
Sliding one arm under her ass, he lifted her and carried her to the bed. Without breaking the kiss, he lowered her back to the mattress and came down over her.
Every nerve ending tingled all over her body. She needed more, so she grasped at him, digging her fingers into his back. She let her tongue reach into his mouth to taste him. More. She was so hot. So aroused.
He shoved a knee between her legs, forcing them apart. If it bothered him to prop himself up on his bad knee, he gave no indication.
She lifted her sex up to meet his thigh, grinding her clit against him.
He threaded one hand in the hair at the back of her head and held her steady while his other hand trailed down her body to cover her breast and mold it in his palm.
She moaned. Or he did. Or they both did.
He bit her lip and sucked it into his mouth before finally breaking the kiss to continue nibbling her mouth and then across her cheek.
She gasped for breath while he tugged her hair, forcing her head to one side so he could gain access to her ear. When his lips landed on that sensitive spot, he exhaled.
She shuddered, her hands trailing down his back to clasp his ass. Damn, he was solid. Even his butt was rock-hard.
“You’re sure?” he whispered in her ear.
“Jesus, Mike. Yes.” Her voice was breathy. Low. Not her own.
He licked her earlobe lightly. “You. Are. So. Hot.” He kissed her neck between each word.
Chills became goosebumps.
She squirmed, squeezing his ass in attempt to get better purchase against his thigh. Every inch of her sex was wet and pleading for release.
“Mike…”
“Gonna take my time, baby. Don’t rush me.”
She sighed. Arguing with him would be futile.
He scooted lower on the bed, his leg dislodging from her clit. When his face was at the same level as her chest, he lifted onto his elbows and stared at her breasts. His gaze darted back and forth. “Been wanting to see these since the moment you opened the front door to me yesterday.”
She bit the corner of her lower lip and held it.
Watching him watch her was so arousing.
When he lowered his mouth to lick her nipple, she released her lip to gasp. So good. So damn good she thought she might come from that one lick.
But she didn’t, and she was immediately distracted when he sucked her nipple into his mouth and flicked his tongue over the distended tip. “Oh. God.”
He switched to give the other breast the same treatment, leaving behind a swollen wet nipple that tightened further as the air hit it.
When he was seemingly satisfied with her breasts, he scooted farther and nuzzled her belly. “You smell so good. The weird hotel soap can’t mask your scent.”
She held his shoulders now. Gripped them, her fingers digging into his skin. He would have half-moon circles from her nails all over his body. “Mike…” Her legs were stretched open to accommodate his enormous body, and when she realized he intended to continue exploring farther south, she stiffened. “Mike,” she repeated. “Please. I need you inside me.”
“You’ll have me, baby. In a minute,” he murmured. He kissed a path to her thigh and then switched to the inside of the other one. When his hands grasped her above the knees and spread her wider, she moaned.
“Mike, don’t… I mean…” Was he going to kiss her there? She wasn’t ready for that.
He hesitated only long enough to stare at her open sex and then flicked his tongue across her clit.
She screamed out sharply. It felt so good she almost didn’t care that his face was there.
“Jesus, baby. You’re so responsive.” He licked her slower the second time, and then closed his mouth over her clit and sucked gently.
She tipped her head back. Her vision swam as she got close to the edge of orgasm. He had definitely not done this to her the first time they’d had sex. He had looked. He had touched. He had not sucked.
She let go of his head to grab at the sheet at her sides, bracing herself for the orgasm that was so close.
Did he realize she was on the edge and had he intentionally backed off every time she almost tipped over? How could he know?
Suddenly his lips were around her clit again, sucking harder. And he thrust a finger into her tight channel.
She pressed her heels hard into the mattress and called out his name as her orgasm washed through her body. Her sex pulsed around his finger and his mouth. And he continued to suckle her, his finger thrusting in and out.
When it was over, he didn’t stop. She squirmed under his touch. “Too sensitive,” she whispered.
He hummed against her sex and only let up the slightest bit.
She wanted him inside her.
He seemed content to continue torturing her, which was exactly what happened as her body climbed that path to full arousal again. As if she’d been on a roller coaster and had reached the peak and then fallen down the other side. Exhilarating, but then the coaster climbed the next hill. Slowly.
Before she reached the top and tipped over the edge again, Mike released her clit. He wiped her moisture from his mouth with his hand and then slowly crawled up her body, keeping his finger inside her. “Baby, you are so damn tight. It’s as if you haven’t had sex since the last time I was with you.”
She held her breath, forcing herself to concentrate on how good it felt for him to stroke the inside of her channel. She knew she was flushed, but it was already there from sex.
Mike kissed her nipples again, his body sliding to the side of hers so that one knee remained nestled between her legs and his hand could still explore her.
“Mike…” How long was he going to wait?
“Mmm.”
She lowered her gaze to find him watching her face.
“I could do this all night.” His languid torture continued. Finally, he added a finger.
She sucked in a sharp breath at the stretch.
“Zola. God.” His hand slid out, and he leaned across her body to reach for something. A second later, he was on his knees beside her rolling on a condom. And then he climbed between her legs again. “You sure?”
She grabbed his arms and tugged. “Enough altruism, Mike.”
He chuckled briefly before sobering again and lowering himself between her legs. He lined his length up with her entrance and rubbed her with the tip. Lodged in just the right spot, he released his hold and drew his arms up to rest on his elbows, looking down at her.
She whimpered. What was he waiting for?
He slowly slid inside, holding her gaze, watching her intently.
And it felt so very right. Perfect. Everything about this connection was exactly as she fantasized. It was tight. There was a moment of stretch, but she ignored it and waited out the twinge until nothing was left but pleasure.
Raw pleasure.
The best experience of her life hands down. Even better than the last time they’d had sex.
In slow motion, he eased in and out of her, going deeper each time. His gaze never left her. It seemed he could see into her soul. And maybe he could.
His lips were tight as if he was holding back. Also probably true.
“So…” He thrust into her. “Damn…” He pulled almost out. “Tight…” He thrust in again. And then, as if he lost the ability to see properly, he lowered his face to the side of hers and continued to pump in and out while he spoke into her ear. “So sexy… You have no idea…”
She had some idea, based on his expression.
Then he was fully seated, the base of him rubbing her clit with every pass.
She lifted into each thrust, giving herself a better angle.
He burrowed his hand into her hair, his palm resting on the side of her face. And he gripped her, perhaps without realizing it. “I want you to come with me, baby,” he whispered into her ear.
If there was any doubt about that possibility, it dispelled the moment he spoke.
He released her face to lower his hand down her body, grazing her breast before reaching between them to set his thumb on her clit.
“Oh. God… Mike.” She grabbed his butt with both hands, holding him closer, wanting him deeper. She wanted him to crawl inside her and stay.
He stroked her clit.
She came. Hard. Fast. It swept through her unexpectedly.
Before she stopped pulsing, Mike thrust deep one last time and grunted out his own release. His body jerked with his orgasm.
She enjoyed the pressure of him over her and the way her clit was swollen and sensitive against his groin.
His breathing was heavy when he began to relax. Of course, hers was still labored too. And her ears were ringing as if she was under water. It took several minutes to catch her breath.
When he slid out, he lifted his face to smile. “Don’t move.”
She couldn’t move if she wanted to, but why? She watched him pad across the room to the bathroom. He didn’t close the door, but the water ran, and then he was back with a washcloth in his hand.
She realized his intention and reached out a hand.
He frowned in return. “Let me.” And then he pressed her legs open wider and wiped away the wetness with the warm cloth. After he dropped it on the floor, he climbed up next to her again and propped himself on his side, staring down at her. He tossed one leg over hers and set his hand on her belly, his thumb grazing the underside of her breast.
She met his gaze, feeling dazed and a little self-conscious now that the intensity had passed.
“You’re an amazing woman, Zola Carver.”
“You’re pretty awesome yourself, Mike Dorsen.” She smiled.
He watched her face for a long time and then leaned over to turn off the light. He dragged the comforter over their bodies and turned her on her side so that her back nestled against his front.
It felt so good having him hold her like that. No comparison in the world. He had no idea what this meant to her. How huge this was. Monumental.
She needed to get a grip on her emotions. It was just sex. Nothing more. She kept telling herself that.
He stroked her belly for a while, kissing her neck. And then he spoke the dreaded words she had hoped to avoid. “I have never felt a woman that tight around me, Zola. How damn long has it been since you had sex?”
She stopped breathing. Did they have to go there? Now?
“Zola?” He froze, his fingers gripping the skin under her breast, holding her tighter.
There was no way to avoid this, so she whispered the words that would rock his world. “You were there.”
He didn’t move. In fact, he stopped breathing.
Seconds ticked by. Too many of them. She grew nervous. What was he thinking?
Finally, he released her, shot to sitting, and turned the light back on. He grabbed her chin and forced her gaze to meet his as she rolled onto her back. “Tell me you’re kidding.”
She bit her lip, a renewed flush rushing across her face. Her heart pounded.
He stared at her, his brow furrowed as if he was angry. Was he? And then he groaned, his face tipping toward the ceiling. His hand still held her chin. When he jerked his gaze back toward her, he finally spoke again. “Why? Why, Zola? I don’t get it.”
She shrugged, clearing her throat. “I never met someone who made me feel like you did. There was no comparison. I wasn’t willing to settle for less.” Years of pent-up words flowed out like hot lava. “Why would I have sex with someone who didn’t set me on fire? There was no sense in it.”
He was breathing heavily. His eyes were still drawn together. He stared at her, holding her gaze intently. When he licked his lips, she licked hers. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“It’s okay. I know it’s shocking. Kind of embarrassing really. I’ve never told anyone.”
He shook his head, a few hard jerks. “No. Baby. God. Don’t be embarrassed. I’ve never received a gift like this before. I never dreamed… I thought…”
“I know. My fault. You thought I was with someone else. I get it.”
He swallowed. “But even after… I mean yesterday. I mean just because you lied in that email didn’t give me any indication that you’d never slept with someone else.” He was shaking.
She grabbed his wrist at her chin, squeezing. “I’m sorry,” she felt compelled to whisper.
“Don’t be sorry.” He groaned. “I’m a dick.”
“Don’t go there, Mike.”
“It’s like I just took your virginity all over again.”
“So? I asked for it. Begged. Pleaded. Just like I did the first time.” She smiled, attempting to lighten the mood.
“I would have been gentler. Slower. Careful. Why didn’t you say something?”
She rose to sitting next to him. She cupped his face in her hands and brought her lips to his for a brief kiss. “You couldn’t have been gentler or slower or more careful, Mike. You were perfect. And I didn’t want you to treat me with kid gloves. I wanted you to make love to me.”
Seconds ticked by again before he finally snapped out of it and grabbed her around the waist to pull her closer. He flattened their chests together awkwardly and kissed a line across her shoulder and neck and cheek until his lips met hers and he slid his tongue inside.
This kiss was different. It wasn’t urgent, but it was demanding. It was filled with gratitude and affection. It was sweet and endearing.
When he finally released her swollen lips, he set his forehead against hers and stared at her some more. “I will never forget this, Zola.”
She jerked free of him, shaking her head. “Don’t. God, Mike. Don’t say that.”
He looked confused, his eyes narrowed. “What did I say? What’s wrong?”
“That’s the exact same thing you said to me the last time I saw you. And then you left and never came back.” She fought against the onslaught of emotion that brought tears to her eyes.
He groaned. “I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again. Not this time.”
What did he even mean? That he wouldn’t leave? That was ludicrous. Of course he would leave. He had a job. She had a job. They had lives that didn’t mesh together. Permitting herself to dream otherwise would only make it harder. Besides, he’d hurt her once, and he would do it again if she let him. Perhaps he simply meant he wouldn’t leave without telling her.
She still didn’t even know why he’d left her the first time.
She needed to pull herself together and not let this get all nostalgic. It was sex. Sex, she shouted into her head.
But she knew she was lying, to herself and to him. If they stood any chance of hashing things out between them, she needed to open herself up a bit. She took a deep breath. “I don’t do casual sex, Mike.”
He stared into her eyes, his brows furrowed. “Are you saying you regret what we just did, you don’t want to do it again, or it wasn’t casual for you?”
“The last one.” She swallowed. “I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it meant something to me.”
He set his forehead against hers again. “I know that, baby.”
She wiped the corners of her eyes as he eased her into his arms, turned off the light once more, and dragged her into the same position they’d been in before.
It felt so right.
But she could not trust this feeling to last.