CHAPTER 15
Natalie
“Natalie, dear? Are you awake?”
I groggily opened my eyes, for a moment, thinking I was hearing Colt’s voice. Yet, when my eyes refocused, I felt his body pressed against mine, and heard his gentle snores.
I sat bolt-upright in bed, realizing that Jones was back to resume his regular shift with me.
Which meant Colt was clearly due to be back with my father.
Jones’ voice drifted through the house again, and I heard him making a stop in the kitchen.
“Oh my god…Colt! Colt! Get up! Wake up!” I hissed, nudging him.
His eyes flickered open and he smiled. “Morning, beautiful,” he said, his voice still heavy with sleep.
“No. Get up! Get out! Jones is here!”
Colt swore and then covered his mouth with his hand. In a flash, he jumped out of the bed, stark naked. He grabbed his bag and bolted down the hall to the guest bedroom. I too, jumped out of bed and searched desperately for some clothing to put on. I found an old oversized t-shirt and sweat pants to jump into.
My heart racing, I left my bedroom and headed to the kitchen.
Jones stood at the stove. “Good morning, sunshine,” he said. “Did you have a good night?”
“Good morning, Jones. Yes, I had a good night. I practically fell asleep as soon as you left. I hadn’t even realized Colt was here,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way my cheeks flushed.
“Yeah. I didn’t know he would be here either, to be honest. He showed up letting me know that we were to switch positions for the night. I wanted to let you know, but the last time I peeked out at you sitting by the pool, you’d been taking a little snooze. So I told him to make sure you got back in the house safely before you caught a cold out there.”
I nodded. “Yeah. He came to get me and I turned in early for the night.”
“That’s good. Are you hungry? I bought some bacon and eggs to help get your morning started. Or would you prefer pancakes?”
“Just eggs will be fine.”
“Is Colt awake yet? He’s due to be back with your father soon.”
“I’m not sure,” I said, looking around the house as if I didn’t know where Colt was. “I haven’t seen him this morning yet.”
As if right on cue, Colt appeared. “Oh—good morning, everyone,” he said, fully dressed. He exchanged a secretive glance with me, and I hurriedly averted my gaze.
“Morning, Colt. You better hurry and get to the Speaker’s house. I’ll take things from here. You want some breakfast before you go? I’ve got eggs and bacon.”
“No thanks. I’m good,” Colt said. He nodded to us both. “See you later.”
“Good bye, son,” Jones said.
“Good-bye,” I said. Colt winked at me when Jones’ back was turned, and then headed for the door.
How I hated seeing him leave. I already wondered how much longer it would be before I saw him again.
I sighed.
“Something wrong, sweet-pea?” Jones said, stirring the eggs.
I shook my head. “No. Just uhm…Another long day of studying ahead for me. It’s getting tiresome.”
“Don’t worry about it. All your hard work will pay off in time. You’re going to ace that test, miss. I just know it. I feel nothing but good things in store for both you and your dad.”
I smiled. “I hope so.”
* * *
The days after of Colt’s appearance drug by with such excruciating slowness, I felt like the universe had to be playing a prank on me. I tried my best to feel thankful that I at least had good memories to keep me satiated. Whenever I found myself missing him, I tried to think about the last time we’d been together, frolicking at the pool and having the time of our lives. Nevertheless, every moment away from him was starting to feel more and more like torture, and I longed for a time when we could be together permanently, without having to worry about safety precautions and my father’s campaign schedule. Sometimes I felt panicked thinking that such a time would never occur, but I tried to dutifully push such depressing thoughts aside. I wanted to hold on to the hope that one day, Colt and I would officially be able to be together the way we wanted.
I’d been heading to my bedroom, prepared to go to bed hugging my pillow with visions of Colt dancing through my mind.
“Goodnight, Jones,” I said.
Yet, before he could respond, the doorbell rang. “Hmm,” he said, struggling up from the couch and heading to the door. My heart skipped several beats…wondering…hoping…
“Looks like another shift switch.”
“Oh,” I said, trying not to show how pleased I was. Moments later, Colt came through the door.
“Good evening, Jones,” he said, nodding his head at the older man.
“Good evening, Colt. Am I to report to the Speaker’s place again?”
“Yes, sir. He has a meeting tonight, but it shouldn’t last long.”
“All right. See you in the morning, Natalie.”
“All right, Jones. See you. And tell my father I said hello.”
“Will do.”
He disappeared out of the house and it took everything within me to not rush into Colt’s arms. He stood in the window, his hands casually in his pockets as he watched the older man drive away.
Slowly he turned around.
Immediately, I knew something was wrong. I didn’t like the look on his face. My heart dropped. “What is it? Is everything all right?” my thoughts instantly racing toward my father.
“Yeah,” Colt said, his voice lackluster.
“Is Dad all right?”
“Yeah,” he said again, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Oh, all right.”
Things suddenly felt awkward between us, and I couldn’t place my finger on why. I stared into Colt’s face, noting his somber expression. I approached him, going in for a hug when he grabbed my arms, and pulled them back down to my sides.
“Colt?” I said.
“Sorry. Just tired. It’s been a long day.”
“Oh. Well, do you want to talk about it? What’s been going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? How can you have had a long day if it’s nothing?”
“I just don’t want to talk about it, Natalie, is that all right?”
Taken aback by the coldness and frustration in his voice, I crossed my arms over my chest. When he didn’t say anything else, I cleared my throat. “Well. I’m going to take a shower.”
“Okay,” he said, flopping down on the couch.
I pursed my lips together. I’d been hoping he would want to come with me, but that clearly wasn’t the case. “I’ll be back in a second then,” I said.
“Take your time,” he mumbled, although I pretended not to hear him.
I did take my time in the shower though, hoping it would give Colt some time to get over his foul mood. When I got out of the shower, I combed and blow-dried my hair, and applied my favorite sweet-smelling body lotion. Tossing on a gown that hit me just before the knees, I returned to the living room, where Colt sat on the couch, staring idly at the TV.
“Are you still tired?” I asked, sitting beside him.
He simply nodded without looking at me.
Just as I was about to rest my head on his shoulder, he moved to reach for the remote. I paused, and sat back upright, getting the impression he had done so on purpose to avoid my touch.
“Okay. Colt—seriously, what’s wrong with you?” I said.
“Nothing, Natalie. Just go to bed.”
“Excuse me?”
“Isn’t that what you were about to do?” Seeing the look on my face, he sighed. “Look—I’m sorry. Today—there was another attempted attack on your father.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“Nothing happened though,” Colt continued. “We were able to intervene before it got anywhere near as close as last time.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me that to begin with? I knew something was bothering you. I deserve to know this stuff.” I said. He stood from the couch and began pacing the room.
“You’re right. And that’s the real reason I’m here, Natalie,” he said. “I need to tell you that all of this—it has to stop.”
I stared at him, blinking. “All of what has to stop?”
“Us. We have to stop. We can’t go on like this.”
“What are you telling me, Colt?”
“That we can’t be together.”
I sat still and quiet for a long time, letting his words sink in. I shook my head and gave a mirthless laugh. “So we’re back to this?”
“Yes.”
I stood too, my anger rising. “Well correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t it you who decided to go forward with this? Wasn’t it you who said you couldn’t stay away from me? Wasn’t it you who said that whatever obstacles came our way, we would just figure it out?”
“Yes, but that was before—”
“Before what?!”
He sighed again, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Before I realized that it just wasn’t possible. My job is too important to keep risking it like this. If I’m distracted, I can’t protect you like I need too. If anything ever happened to either one of you, I would feel personally responsible, all right? I can’t have that on my conscious. I won’t.”
Somewhere in my brain, I knew there was a ring of truth to his words. My heart didn’t want to pay attention to reason though. My heart only knew that Colt was telling me that we couldn’t be together. And that—I just couldn’t accept.
“Colt, we can work things out. You’re doing your job just fine. We’ll work it out. You can’t do this to me…I…I love you.” The words were out before I had any hope of stopping them.
Colt lowered his eyes to the floor and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, Natalie. Can’t you see that? It just doesn’t matter. We can’t be together under these circumstances. It’s too risky. From now on, we have to go back to keeping things between us strictly professional. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it has to be.”
I pressed my lips together and tried my best to ignore the stinging I felt in my eyes. Those weren’t the words I wanted to hear. I had just told this man that I loved him, and his response had been to tell me that it didn’t matter.
He couldn’t—wouldn’t—tell me that he loved me too.
He was willing to pretend that I meant nothing more to him than a paycheck.
My blood boiling and my body trembling with fury, I stormed over to him. He tried to turn his head to avoid my gaze, but I wouldn’t let him.
My hand flew back, and I slapped him across the face, wanting him to feel just as much pain as I did.
He stumbled backward. He was such a large man, I doubted I really hurt him. His reaction was more from shock than anything. He rubbed the side of his face and his mouth opened and closed as if he wanted to say something. But I was no longer interested in anything he had to say.
“Stay away from me,” I said. “Don’t come back. I want a new security detail, and I never want to see you again. I’ll be alerting my father that you are not to come back again during another shift change. Stay out of my life forever, Colt.”
Not wanting him to see the tears about to fall from my eyes, I turned around and rushed to my bedroom and slammed the door behind me.