Chapter Fifteen

Shannon

 

Living with Noah became routine. At first, it was awkward, especially in the mornings. I wanted to get up and get moving, go for a long walk, stretch my legs, my usual. But Noah worried I was overdoing it and would insist on going with me. I rarely got a mile walk in without him saying we needed to head back.

 

When I told him he was being too overprotective, he showed me what that really looked like: a day and half of having him hovering over every step I took, texting me during my shift, and showing up on my lunch hour to be sure I ate a healthy meal. I’d let him hover at his comfort level; otherwise, he would’ve driven me completely crazy.

 

I still worried that one day he would get bored with me. After all, he’d gone from dragging me out of a hospital at knifepoint and joyriding in a stolen ambulance, to sitting on the couch watching Friends reruns. How much more of this could he really take?

 

I’d managed to avoid going to the club for over a month, but he wouldn’t put it off any more than that.

 

“You have five minutes, Shannon, and then I’m coming in there and doing your hair myself,” he barked out through the closed bathroom door.

 

I rolled my eyes at myself in the mirror. I was already fully dressed and ready to go, but I just needed a damn minute to compose myself. The pregnancy had made me bloated, my shoes didn’t even fit right anymore, and it had dried up all the moisture in my skin. Wearing contacts wasn’t even an option anymore – they were so uncomfortable – so thick-rimmed glasses it was.

 

Noah said he loved them. Called me his sexy librarian. But he also called me his sexy sasquatch when I’d forgotten to shave my legs.

 

It shouldn’t be so easy, living with a man I’d only known for such a short time, and I really hated what he did to earn his money. We didn’t talk about it though.

 

“Two minutes!” he called with a knock on the door.

 

I was tempted to sit on the counter and wait for him to break down the door. But playing that game usually ended up with my ass over his lap. I would have thought being pregnant would have made him loosen up on the rules and being so strict. Apparently, it had the opposite effect on him. Still, it was fun to see the wildman for a few moments here and there.

 

“I’m coming,” I called back and opened the door. “There. I’m ready.” I waved my hand over my body. My little bump had bloomed into a full round belly. No matter what dress I tried on, every one of them showed off the bump.

 

He smiled at me – a wish we had an extra ten minutes so I can fuck you crazy smile.

 

“We could wait a few minutes…” I trailed off when his eyes started to darken. I’d managed to talk him out of two other attempts to go the club, but he wasn’t having it. Unless I was puking all over his leathers, he was taking me.

 

The idea did have some merit.

 

“Let’s go.” He linked our hands and escorted me down the hall and out to the garage. His bike wasn’t so comfortable for either of us now that the baby had started invading some of the space between us, so we drove in his truck most of the time. My car sat in the driveway – only to be used in an emergency.

 

The club still had trouble with the shark and Noah didn’t like me driving home alone after a night shift, so he picked me up most nights. Whoever this rogue biker was, he was causing a lot of tension between the club members.

 

“Are you sure other girls will be there?” I asked him, pushing the seatbelt under my belly.

 

He gave me an odd look. “There’s always girls at the clubhouse.”

 

“Oh. Yeah.” I looked out the window. “Girls you’ve been with?”

 

“Probably.” He nodded and turned a corner.

 

The street lights played on the dash as he drove. Fall was coming, making the air chilled outside. I loved the smell of fall, the crispness of the air.

 

“And they aren’t going to get mad seeing me?” I asked, pointing at the baby bump.

 

He laughed. “I don’t even remember most of their names, but the few, and I mean the very few, I actually saw more than once, have moved on to another member now.”

 

He was trying to reassure me, but it wasn’t working.

 

“You mean you’ve never had, like, a girlfriend?”

 

“Dating wasn’t really on my agenda when I got home from Afghanistan, and after I was patched, there wasn’t a need. I could have any girl I wanted, whenever I wanted.” He turned the radio on but kept the music low.

 

“Is any of this supposed to make me feel less nervous?”

 

He glanced over at me while he was driving and gave me a nice smile. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. Girls at the club aren’t going to be jealous, they aren't going to be looking at you, and they aren’t going to attack you.”

 

“I didn’t say they were going to attack me.” I folded the bottom of my dress with my hands twice, then unfolded and refolded it again.

 

“Tracy will be there,” he added, and I nodded.

 

I already knew that; she and Jude were getting serious. She spent a lot of time at the club and had been on Noah’s side when he argued with me about going.

 

“This just isn’t my thing,” I murmured.

 

“I know.” He pulled through the fenced gate into the lot of the clubhouse.

 

My stomach flipped, and I felt pretty close to losing the dinner he’d forced me to eat. The morning sickness had faded away once the second trimester had started, but that didn’t change nervous puking.

 

Noah parked the truck with the other vehicles, away from the long line of bikes and helped me out.

 

“I’m going to need a damn step stool pretty soon,” I muttered.

 

“I think the attitude needs some adjusting again,” he whispered in my ear.

 

The first time he spanked me because he said I needed to “get right” again, I’d scoffed at him. But I had to admit that, afterward, I felt a hell of a lot better.

 

“I’m still sore from my reward for being good yesterday,” I complained, with a smile.

 

He’d also introduced me to “good girl” spankings. They were almost as hard as his punishment ones, but they left me feeling floaty and relaxed.

 

“Then knock it off,” he said with a hard pinch to my ass.

 

I gave him a glare, but he didn’t see – he’d already started pulling me toward the clubhouse. The man pulled me everywhere, like I was a suitcase to be lugged around. But I had to admit, I didn’t mind it.

 

We walked past a group of other men with the same vest and patches as Noah. They all greeted him but didn’t stop us to talk. I felt their eyes on me, settling on my stomach. It was like carrying around a big sign: Noah fucked me.

 

As soon as we walked inside, Tracy was at my side.

 

“I need to talk to you,” she said, grabbing my elbow and pulling me away from Noah. He looked irritated by it but let me go with her.

 

She pulled me to the far corner of the room. I looked around, seeing all the men and women eyeing me, and gauging Noah’s reaction. He fell into conversation with a few men, and I forced myself to focus on Tracy.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Jude.” She gave a wave of her hand. “He got mad at me today. I’d gone out without telling him where I was going. I just forgot. I meant to leave him a note, but I forgot. And when he texted me, I was driving so I didn’t answer. But then when I got to the mall, I’d forgotten he texted.”

 

“Okay. And?”

 

She was talking too fast. I looked around for Jude and caught him at the bar, keeping an eye on Tracy and me. He didn’t look pissed, more curious.

 

“And when I got home, he was pissed. He said he was worried because of that stupid biker guy. I don’t see what he has to do with anything, but Jude said I have to be careful now that I’m wearing his colors.”

 

I noticed then that she did have on a leather jacket.

 

I shook my head. “I think we need to get together more often. Or at least get back on the same shift.”

 

She’d been moved to other days, so we only saw each other in passing.

 

“You’re not listening. He said he’s going to deal with me after we get home tonight. There wasn’t time he said before we left. He wanted to be sure I was here before you got here – because of how nervous you’d be,” she rattled on.

 

I furrowed my brow. “What?”

 

“You know what I mean.” Her eyes were wide open and full of fear.

 

“Wait. He’s going to deal with you?”

 

“Yeah. He said he—I can’t even say it, Shannon. It’s so stupid. I’m a grown woman.”

 

I understood then.

 

“Oh.” I smiled with a nod. “He’s going to spank you.”

 

“Shh.” She shook her head. “It’s dumb, right?”

 

I looked at her and laughed. “Seeing as you’re still here, and haven’t run for the hills, I’d say you’re more nervous than upset about it. If Jude is anything like Noah, and he seems like he is, the only choice you have is to stay and accept it or leave and forget it.”

 

She blanched. “You’re not helping.”

 

“What do you want me to say? If you’re telling me this, it’s because Jude told you that Noah runs our relationship the same way.”

 

“Yeah, he mentioned—”

 

“I need Shannon. Tracy, I’d get back over to Jude if I were you. From what I hear, you’re already in hot water.” Noah’s deep voice startled us.

 

Tracy pinched her lips together, and if I were a betting woman, I would bet my unsold, unlisted house that she wanted to stomp her feet and cry.

 

After she stalked back over to Jude and sat beside him, his arm wrapped around her shoulders and he kissed her cheek before saying something in her ear. She settled down after that, and he kissed her again.

 

“You shouldn’t have told Jude about what happens between us. I didn’t tell Tracy.” I wanted to put my hands on my hips, but I hadn’t met the other members, and the last thing I needed was to get my ass in hot water for disrespect.

 

“Jude and I have had that in common since I met him. I was surprised it took him so long with Tracy,” Noah said, like that excused everything.

 

“You still shouldn’t have told him.” I glanced back towards Tracy.

 

She looked less stressed since we talked, but I knew what she was feeling. In a way, it had been easier the way Noah eased me into his ways. I hadn’t had time to think; he just thrust me into it. Into him.

 

He grabbed my hand and held onto it until I looked up at him. “I need to introduce you to Joker. He’s the president of the club.”

 

The way he said it, it sounded like a warning.

 

“So, be respectful and kind… like I always am?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

 

He lowered his face until his nose pressed against mine. “It wouldn’t bother anyone in here if I bent you over and smacked that sweet ass of yours, so you might want to watch your attitude. I know you’re nervous, and you’re tired, but no excuses.” He rubbed the tip of his nose against mine.

 

I took a deep breath. He was right. This was his clubhouse. If I pushed that boundary too much, not only would no one bat an eye at him “dealing with me”, but they would also probably expect it. He was also right; I was nervous as hell and exhausted. I had a long morning shift already behind me and the one-hour nap he’d forced me to take when I got home, hadn’t helped take too much of the edge off.

 

“Okay. I’m sorry. You’re right.” I pushed a smile onto my lips, and he gave me a quick kiss.

 

“Good.” He tugged my hand and walked me through the lounge toward the man I assumed was Joker.

 

He sat perched on a bar stool facing the lounge, his fat round belly protruding over his worn jeans. He was nearly bald, but what little hair he did have had been shaved close to his scalp. A large tattoo covered the right side of his head. A tat of a skull.

 

On his right side stood a woman with bleach-blonde hair. Her hair had been teased too much, and I could almost smell all the hairspray holding it up. Maybe someone forgot to tell her the 80s were over.

 

I stifled a giggle as we approached. I’m sure laughing at the president’s girlfriend would be thought of as rude. Although looking around at all the rough riders, and hearing them talk, I wondered if they understood the meaning of the word.

 

“Noah.” Joker stood up. “I haven’t seen you hanging out here in a while. Must be because of this pretty girl right here.” He turned his cold, green eyes on me, and a shiver ran down my spine. Not the warm tingling Noah sent through me, but the kind filled with warning and alarm bells.

 

This man was dangerous.

 

“This is Shannon,” Noah said, not letting go of my hand.

 

I could feel the tension in his body. He didn’t trust Joker. I already knew that from what little he’d told me about him, but now seeing the guy, it was painfully obvious. I wondered if Joker knew it.

 

Noah didn’t tell me much about what he did at the club, and I didn’t ask. I knew that, whatever it was, it wasn’t legal. So I wanted no part of knowing about it, and he probably felt the same way. The only time he mentioned Joker was when the man had pissed him off.

 

“That your baby she got in her belly?” Joker asked, pointing to my stomach.

 

I was supposed to be sweet and nice, but this asshole got to ask a question like that? I squeezed Noah’s hand, hoping he would understand my meaning.

 

“I can see you brought your manners tonight.” Noah forced a laugh, trying to play it off as a joke.

 

“I meant no disrespect.” Joker smiled. It wasn’t real, and no warm fuzzies were attached.

 

“Yes, Noah and I are having a baby,” I spoke up.

 

Noah hadn’t said I couldn’t talk, so I wasn’t going to stand there and let them talk about me like I wasn’t even there.

 

“Then I suppose congratulations are in order,” Joker said tightly. “Before you leave tonight, I need to give you the details on tomorrow’s work, Noah.”

 

“Sure. I’m just gonna get Shannon something to eat then we’ll talk,” Noah said in a stressed voice.

 

I knew him well enough by now to know when he was getting pissed, and he was already past that point. Other than his asshole remark about the father of my child, Joker hadn’t said anything unruly.

 

“Sure thing.” Joker sat back on his stool.

 

Noah led me away from him and over to Jude and Tracy.

 

“Why didn’t you introduce me to his girlfriend?” I asked. The blonde had stared at me the entire time, like she wasn’t sure if she hated me or not.

 

“That’s not his girlfriend; that’s his old lady, it’s different. And he doesn’t like anyone talking to her until he says it’s okay.”

 

“That’s ridiculous.” I scoffed, looking back at them. She still stood beside him, and he was talking with a small group of men and women. No one spoke to her.

 

“He’s a control freak,” Jude piped up. “With some things, at least.”

 

“I met her once – ran into her in the washroom,” Tracy said. “She’s nice enough, but I think she was scared to be talking to me. I got the feeling she was afraid Joker would throw her aside if she got caught.”

 

“He probably would.” Noah waved over the bartender, who I learned wasn’t a real bartender but a prospective member.

 

“Noah, I’m not hungry,” I said when he started to order me a burger.

 

He didn’t bother listening to me, just ordered it anyway. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

 

As the night wore on, more members came over to us to talk. Noah introduced them all to me, and I was surprised by how welcoming they were. No one seemed put off by the fact that I obviously had no idea about anything involved in the club. Even their girlfriends were somewhat pleasant. I had nothing in common with any of them, but Tracy knew a few.

 

“I just want to walk a little,” I said to Noah and got up from the bar. I ran a hand over my belly. The stretching was starting to irritate my skin, and if I sat too long, everything in my body started to ache. “Tracy will come with me.” I patted him on the shoulder.

 

“Don’t go far,” he said and placed a kiss on my belly.

 

Tracy led me out to the parking lot. The cool air felt good on my hot skin.

 

“Just to the end of the bikes and back,” Tracy said, linking her arm with mine.

 

“Since when do you follow the rules?” I asked with a laugh.

 

“Noah said not far. And Jude is already mad at me. I’m not really willing to risk getting him more in a snit.”

 

I laughed. “Snit?”

 

When we got to the end of the row, I heard a bike pull in through the gates. We stopped to watch the lone rider pull through and park at the end, a few feet away from us. He didn’t wear a helmet, so I could see his dark hair, but an overhead light blocked the rest of his face. He climbed off his bike, gave us a once-over, and then just walked inside the club. Something about him looked familiar something… like I’d seen him before…

 

“So, I’ve been thinking about quitting the hospital,” Tracy said tentatively.

 

“Oh? Why?” I asked, turning around and heading back towards the door to the clubhouse’s lounge.

 

“Jude wants me to move in with him, like officially. He wants to get married.” She stopped walking and looked at me, as if she wanted me to say it was okay and a good choice.

 

“What do you want?”

 

Tracy had changed since meeting Jude. She wasn’t late to work anymore, and from what I understood, her lunch breaks actually adhered to the lunch policy of the hospital. But that didn’t mean she was comfortable with her new life.

 

“I really like him, Shannon. Like, love him.” But I heard some fear laced in her words.

 

“And what about the club? Because this comes with him,” I said, motioning around us.

 

“Yeah. I know. I wish he was more like Noah and left this crap here when he came home, but he wants to climb up the ranks. Like, he wants to run things one day.”

 

“Is that something you’re okay with?”

 

“I don’t want to be an old lady. I see how some of them are treated. Most are okay, these guys aren’t so bad, but then I see women like Joker’s girl. She’s like a damn zombie, always terrified he’ll leave her. I’ve heard he brings other women home. Like, she sleeps in the spare bedroom while he fucks whoever he wants in their bed.”

 

I shook my head. It didn’t surprise me, but it still sounded like a shitty thing to do.

 

“Do you think Jude will be like that?” I asked her, my chest balling up with tension. I would walk out on Noah in a heartbeat if he ever tried something like that, but Tracy wasn’t always as tough as she led other people to believe.

 

“No, I don’t think so.” She looked away from me, as if she were thinking about something really deep, then looked back and shook her head. “No. He wouldn’t. And he’s really possessive of me. But not in a crazy way. I mean, he does like to know where I am all the time but not like demanding. Just like he’s interested. Do you know what I mean?”

 

I knew exactly what she meant. Noah was the same way. He liked knowing where I was all the time, but he never told me I couldn’t go somewhere or had to be home at a certain time. He gave me all the freedom I needed but still kept me restrained.

 

“Did he ask you to marry him? Or did he just tell you he wanted to get married?” I asked for clarification.

 

“He told me.” Tracy laughed. “He said, ‘We’re getting married.’ He didn't even ask.”

 

I couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image of Jude walking through the living room and just announcing they were going to get married.

 

“And what did you say?”

 

“I said I had to think about it. Maybe that’s why he got so mad at me today when he didn’t know where I was? Maybe he thought I didn’t want to get married and had left him?”

 

“That could be it. I think you need to talk to him. Tell him what you want and how you feel. If he’s worth marrying, he will listen.”

 

She nodded. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I’ll talk to him when we get home. Maybe I can save my ass from a spanking? Or maybe I don’t want to…” Tracy smiled like she’d been toying with the idea and now found it more appealing.

 

I shook my head and linked my arm with hers again.

 

Back inside, the lone rider who had shown up was talking with Joker in a corner. He was waving his hand around, clearly pissed about something. Joker patted him on the shoulder and looked like he was trying to reassure him of something.

 

I found Noah at our table finishing off my French fries. When I sat back down, he pulled me into an embrace and kissed the top of my head.

 

“Have a nice walk?”

 

“Yeah. I guess.” I shrugged, still watching the new biker with Joker. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d seen him before. Knew him.

 

Noah must have realized I was staring and he followed my gaze. I felt his muscles behind me tense, but then he relaxed and started laughing.

 

“Holy shit.” He stood up from his seat. “C’mon.” He helped me up from my chair.

 

“What is it?” I asked, suddenly nervous again. He was walking us toward Joker and the new biker.

 

“Jack!” Noah said with a wide grin as we approached.

 

Joker’s eyes widened, and his mouth tightened. The coloring in his cheeks drained when he saw Noah approaching.

 

The dark-haired man, turned, looking confused at first, but once he saw Noah, he started laughing. “No shit. Noah?”

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Noah asked, being pulled into a bear hug and getting his back smacked. He slapped Jack’s arms.

 

“Just riding through, actually. Joker here’s an old friend of my dad’s.” Jack jerked a thumb at Joker who visibly relaxed with Jack’s explanation.

 

Noah looked to Joker then back at Jack. He didn’t look like he was buying the explanation any more than me, but he kept quiet.

 

“This is Shannon.” Noah pressed a hand to the small of my back and brought me closer.

 

I extended my hand, and he took it. My pinky moved, and I realized his hand felt different. Glancing down when he let me go, I noticed he was missing two fingers.

 

“Nice to meet you,” I said, smiling politely.

 

“I knew Jack in the Marines. We were stationed together for a year,” Noah explained with some excitement in his voice.

 

I think he was happy to see someone from his past that didn’t trigger a dark memory.

 

“Oh.” I still tried to place him. Something was too familiar.

 

“Yeah, that’s how I lost these babies.” Jack held up his hand and showed me the missing fingers. He probably had noticed me looking.

 

Wait. Missing fingers…

 

My eyes went wide, and my heart sped up. I looked from him to Joker, to Noah.

 

Oh. Fuck.

 

Jack was the shark.