Ben hadn't slept a wink last night. Thankfully, no one needed any surgery today. He'd trained to be able to perform without sleep for a given period of time, but that was before he got pregnant. He could probably focus and pull through, but he didn't want to risk finding out he couldn't by killing a patient.

He'd lost his temper with Dave. He was pretty sure he was justified. If it was just money, that would be one thing. He got that Dave wasn't comfortable spending a lot, and that was okay. Ben didn't think he was a big spender either. They obviously had different ideas of what that meant, but they should be able to talk through that and come to a happy place in the middle.

The sticking point was where Dave was just dismissing everything Ben did, everything he worked for. Ben couldn't accept that. He knew Dave had his issues and he accepted it, but Dave also needed to accept that Ben wasn't just going to stop being Ben.

He made his rounds through the ward and checked on patients. Most of them were healing up well. They would be able to disembark in Toulon without a problem. Where they went after that, who knew? All of Europe was facing questions of what to do with refugees. A few of the patients were still struggling and would have to be admitted to a hospital for the long term.

That wasn't good. But at least they'd had a fighting chance. And even a long-term hospital stay was better than death and burial at sea or dying in the rubble.

He grabbed more coffee as his shift ended. He didn't want to hurt the baby, but it wouldn't be the end of the world, and he didn't think he'd make it until bed if he didn't have something. He didn't want to screw up his sleep schedule too badly. That would affect his hormones, which would have an even worse effect on the baby.

He needed a name for the baby. He didn't know the baby's sex yet, but he needed to stop thinking of it as the baby, or as it.

Hobson, the corpsman who was retiring to civilian life, came up beside him as he grabbed his coffee. "My shift just ended too. You feel like a little bit of company?"

Ben did not feel like company. Ben felt like sulking or looking for a house. But he smiled at the corpsman anyway and nodded. Sulking wouldn't do anyone any good, and he liked Hobson. "Let's grab a seat," he suggested.

She joined him in a corner of the mess hall. It wasn't too busy at this time of day, so they had about as much privacy as they could hope for. "Forgive my bluntness, but you look like crap today. Baby giving you trouble?"

Ben considered leaving it at that, but he didn't want to lie. It wasn't like anyone on the ship who wasn't sedated past caring hadn't heard him screaming at Dave anyway. "Not so much the baby."

"Yeah. I heard about that." Hobson grimaced. "I'm not entirely sure what went on, but you know. Thin walls, close quarters. Yada yada."

Ben nodded. "It was a thing." He wrapped his hands around his coffee cup.

"Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better just to stay in the Navy and skip the whole relationship thing." She gave him a sympathetic grimace. "I like Hopper. For one of those SEAL nut jobs, he seems like a good guy. But all people come with their own set of baggage, and merging that baggage can be a nightmare."

Ben licked his lips. "He's demanding I stop working when the baby's born. It's kind of out of left field."

Hobson whistled. "I'll say. Did he say why?"

"He doesn't want me to hire a nanny to take care of the baby when I go back to work. He just doesn't like it. So I told him maybe he should stay home with the kid. And he was unenthusiastic about that." Ben took a deep breath. "He pointed out that he was out defending America. The implication, of course, being that I'm sitting on my thumb all day looking pretty."

Hobson pursed her lips. "Hm. Is his family super traditional?"

"They're not in contact. But even if they were, it's not appropriate for him to put that expectation on me. I'm doing important work. I'm saving lives. I'm helping people. I'm not shooting people and blowing stuff up, I'm repairing lives. And he's just…he's just dismissing that." Ben frowned into his cup. "And like I said, it's completely out of left field."

"Well then maybe it's not about the job at all." Hobson raised an eyebrow and sipped her coffee. "He mentioned, before, that he comes from poverty. Right? I think he mentioned that you don't."

Ben chuckled, although there was no mirth in it. "Yeah, no. No, I definitely don't. But I'm not trying to throw stones at his background. I'm just not willing to sit on my ass because of biology."

Hobson put a hand on his arm. "Yeah, no, I get it. And honestly, I agree with you. Nannies used to be this weird, super-elite thing. But you're not planning to dump the kid with a nanny and go back to working in war zones, right?"

"No, of course not. My mom did that to me. I'll probably even be working part time. I just need someone to look after the baby while I'm at work. I'm going to be there for my baby, I'm going to be an active parent and a loving parent. I'm just not going to only be a parent." Ben shook his head. "I'm not sure why he thinks that's a reasonable thing to ask of me."

"How many of his relatives have been nannies?" Hobson smirked. "Or other domestic help? I'm not sure how much of a middle he sees. But I think it's probably a little bit deeper than that. Who's going to be buying the house?"

"Well, me."

"And you're ignoring him about the nanny thing."

"Look, he doesn't get to just demand I give everything up and sit around the house. He doesn't get to do that." Ben balled his hands into fists.

"Of course not. But he probably is feeling powerless, and kind of unnecessary." Hobson wrinkled her nose. "He's already sensitive about the money thing, because it's so imbalanced. He's not that guy. He's not the guy who seriously thinks omegas should stay home. He's not the guy who thinks he needs to assert his authority over everything. But he is a man, and most men lash out when they're feeling powerless or extra."

Ben scowled and opened his mouth to object. Then he laughed at himself. "Yeah, I probably do the same thing. But he's got to understand that I'm not going to cut myself down to fit him. That's not sane, healthy, or rational."

"No. It's not." She patted his hand. "Are there other child care options you could look into?"

"I can't think of any. Neither one of us has family in the area, or family at all really. My dad's family are all in France, and I don't actually talk to my mom. We're not fighting, we just don't have a reason to communicate. And anyway, she's out in Cali. Day care would be great, but if there's a big emergency situation or if I wind up getting called in to cover a shift, it wouldn't be available. A nanny would be able to cover those kinds of situations. If grandparents were an option, sure, that would be fine."

Hobson smiled at him. "Do you think you can discuss this civilly with him?"

"I don't know. I want to." Ben let his head fall back and looked up at the ceiling. "At the same time, if he even mentions once that he thinks I should stay home and be a homemaker after all the work I've done to get to where I am, I can't be held responsible for my actions. He blamed it on pregnancy hormones."

Hobson winced. "Yikes."

"Yeah. That's when I truly lost it. Somehow we went from discussing an appropriate number of bathrooms for our family to how I could only be angry because of pregnancy hormones." He shook his head. "Honestly, I don't know where to go from here."

"You'll find your way." Hobson winked at him. "It's going to work out. You guys are crazy about each other. I don't think you'll let a little thing like an argument stop you."

When they finished their coffee, Ben headed back to his cabin. He still couldn't say he felt great about the situation with Dave, but getting Hobson's perspective had been helpful at least. He grabbed his tablet and returned to house-hunting. If Dave wasn't going to be an active participant, Ben would just go on alone. He wasn't going to sit around and wait.

He'd found a few different places that might fit his needs when someone knocked on the door. He told them to come in, and he was only a little surprised to find Dave there. "Hey." Dave held his hat in his hand. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." Ben didn't make any moves to accommodate his lover. He was still angry. Dave had let loose with some terrible ideas and some bizarre expectations, all in the span of a few short minutes, and Ben didn't think it was on him to be all that conciliatory about it.

Dave stepped in and closed the door. "Look. I was out of line yesterday. I said a bunch of stuff. It must have been in my head somewhere, but I honestly don't know where. I fell in love with a doctor. What you do is important, and it was wrong for me to not acknowledge that."

If Ben hadn't been reclining on his bed already, he might have fallen off of it. "Are you feeling okay?"

Dave snorted. "I'm feeling a little sheepish, but yes. I'm feeling okay. I had a chat with Adami. And Adami was more than ready to tell me what a dick I was. I'm still not okay with the nanny thing. Can we talk about this?"

Ben took a deep breath and counted to ten. "A nanny doesn't have to be abandonment. I honestly can't see a way around it, though. I'm not willing to stop working, because it's a big part of my identity and because being trained as a doctor makes me obligated to do that work. The hours can be unpredictable, so I have to be available at odd hours. If we had grandparents or other family around that we could call on, it might be different. As it is, we need to have someone available in case I get a late night shift, or if I get called in to cover a mass casualty incident."

Dave made a face. "I don't like it. It feels weird to me. But I can see what you mean. And yeah, it's not like we have family close by that we can call on. Or far away we could call on. There's Aziza, but she's in the same boat you are."

"I suspect she'll be going back to OBGYN nursing, but yeah. If we get a place with an in-law suite or apartment, we could rent that out once we don't need a nanny anymore." Ben kept his voice neutral. He hated the idea of renting out part of his home, but if the possibility made Dave feel more comfortable, he'd float it. They could revisit the idea later. Maybe he'd be more comfortable with it then.

"Hm." Dave lifted his eyebrows. "I hadn't even thought of that. We can take a look at a few places like that. Will you let me contribute to the finances?"

Ben frowned. "Of course, if you want to. And your name will be on the deed to the house. It's not going to just be mine, just like the baby isn't only my baby. It's our family, Dave."

Dave's tight shoulders relaxed a little bit. He sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's not about you putting my name on the deed, Ben. I'm not sure what you actually need me for, where I fit into any of this. You don't need my salary, the nanny takes care of the baby."

"First of all, I need you for me. I need you because I love you. I need you because of the way you make me feel." Ben smirked. "Even when I'm pissed as hell at you, I love you. I wouldn't be pissed if I didn't. If, say, Adami had said half of the things you said yesterday I wouldn't have cared.”

Dave’s jaw dropped, and Ben realized he hadn’t said those words before.

"But second," Ben continued, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them close, "even the best nanny isn't a substitute for a parent's love. Okay? A nanny takes care of the child when the parent isn't available, and even if I did stay at home, I'd probably still bring someone in to help out. You are going to be away a lot, and everyone needs help sometimes. It's not like I've got a big support network. But a child needs a lot of love. They need a lot of love around them, and they need a lot of love lavished on them. There's no substitute for that, no substitute at all. This baby is going to need you to love them and help take care of them. They're going to need your help learning about life and love and honor and family. They're going to need your help learning about patriotism, discipline, and how to just let go and have fun."

Dave blinked a few times. Ben could see something shining in his eyes. "Do you really think I can teach a kid all that?"

"I know you can teach them by example." Ben sighed. "I can't. I mean sure, I can teach them about love, but the more people who can talk to them about that the better. But all the other stuff? Yeah, that's stuff I never had. It was always someone else's job, you know?" Ben turned his head away. "I know it's not what you went through. But like I've said before, it wasn't great. It was kind of grim. I've literally never sat down and had a conversation with my mother. I email back and forth with my dad sometimes. I need someone with real life experience, experience of having a real life, who can teach our child what that's like." He couldn't look at Dave while he admitted that.

Dave put his arms around Ben and pulled him close. "I can do that," he said in a husky voice. "I can give you all that, and more."

* * *

The Solace pulled into port at Toulon about a week after they left Latakia. As far as Dave was concerned, they could have kept on going to Virginia without stopping. Apparently the State Department and the Chief Corpsman had other ideas. They wanted to discharge the patients as soon as they could, because State was balking at any influx of Syrian refugees and because the patients didn't need to be confined on the ship for so long.

The SEALs got a little bit of leave in Toulon, which Dave decided he could live with. He liked Toulon. His French wasn't the best, but there was enough of a Navy presence here that he could get by. He took Ben out in the town and tried to spoil him a little. Part of him wondered how he was supposed to spoil him when Ben apparently had a home available for his use here, but whatever.

The "home" turned out to be a luxury villa into which ten of the houses Dave had grown up in could have fit. It sat vacant most of the year. Dave decided not to think about that, at all.

He and Ben went shopping. They went to dinner. They went to sit and watch the stars. The weather had gotten milder, and they could enjoy the deck outside. They stayed in Ben's father's house and took advantage of his big shower and fantastic water pressure.

"So your dad just…has this place. Lying around." Dave shook his head and looked around at the lavish residence. "Must be nice."

"Yeah, I guess. He doesn't stay here very often. He's more of a Paris kind of guy." Ben made a face. "I'm glad we were able to get out here and stretch our legs a little. He left Aziza and Khadijah's papers here, so that's convenient."

"That's how they were able to make that work?" Dave whistled. He wondered how they'd managed to get her green card and the adoption to go through so fast.

"Yeah. Dad stepped in to help out." Ben squirmed a little. "I think he feels a little guilty about shipping me back to my mom. After he and Monique divorced he made a few overtures, but I was pretty set on going to med school in the States by then. And yeah, I was bitter. Still am, I guess."

Dave didn't say anything to that. There wasn't anything to say. Ben had every right to be angry, and he couldn't think well of anyone who shipped their kid back to a mother like Selene Eliot. It did sound like his dad was doing everything he could to make it up to him, though. "You said you email him sometimes?"

"Yeah, every once in a while." Ben sat up a little straighter. "So. Any names you want to put on the list for the baby?"

"Hmmm…" Dave pretended to think about it. "If it's a boy, how about Adam. After Adami."

Ben froze. "Isn't that the one who was so jealous he almost caused an international incident?"

"Well, yeah," Dave said with a laugh, "but he's also my best friend. It's not like I've still got a brother to name it after. And if it's a girl, I don't know. Hobson."

Ben laughed. "I like Hobson, but I'm pretty sure she's got a first name. And I'm closer with Aziza."

"Aziza Hopper doesn't exactly flow, does it?" Dave made a face. "It can be a good middle name. Hobson Aziza Hopper. Her initials can be Hah!"

Ben laughed even harder. "Nice. Picking names so her initials can be laughter."

They didn't have a lot to buy, but Ben absolutely had to get some things for Khadijah while they were in a town. Dave tried to argue that Aziza probably had a better idea of what the little girl needed, but Ben wouldn't be deterred. They packed up to leave on the last day with their own light bags, a toy for Adami's still to be born son, and a cloth bag filled with three rattles, fifteen adorable tiny outfits, three stuffed toys, and six board books for baby Khadijah.

They headed back toward the port in a town car. It felt pretentious to Dave, but Ben's father had sent it. The driver turned out to be part of whatever security service the French had for their diplomatic and government personnel, with another guard in the front seat to boot. The driver didn't speak English. The guy in the passenger seat did.

"Terribly sorry, Dr. Michaud, but your father insisted." He gave Dave a once-over but didn't say anything. "He sent a car for your 'sister' as well."

"Sister?" Dave whispered to Ben.

"Aziza." Ben's jaw was tight. "Is something the matter? Is there something I should know about?"

"Simply rumors, Doctor. The minister simply prefers not to take chances when it comes to his son." The guard gave a thin little grin.

Dave hadn't seen Ben this tense since they'd found him in that basement, but Ben just nodded. "Thank you."

Dave's gun felt heavier in its holster. He'd been the guy in the front seat. Just rumors was never the truth. It was something you said to avoid having hysterical civilians on your hands. Ben wasn't a civilian, not really, but in the guard's eyes he would be.

Or maybe Ben wasn't the civilian at all. As the driver spat out a stream of French that would have even had Dave's high school teacher begging him to speak plus lentement, s'il vous plait, he realized that the French officials had no idea who he was. Ben hadn't told his father anything about him. Dave should probably be offended by that, but after their recent conversations he couldn't be.

Maybe Dave could help them to reconnect, someday.

Today wasn't that day. There was a credible threat to the port, maybe to the Solace. Dave was a sitting duck in this town car, with no backup besides two guys he didn't know and couldn't trust. He was so screwed.

The car turned on sirens to pull through the crowd and drive up to the secure part of the pier. Ben's cheeks grew two big, angry red spots, and his mouth thinned out into a single line. And Dave had accused him of ego! Ben slouched in his seat, even though the windows were tinted.

Dave took his hand. "It's okay," he whispered. "No one's even looking inside. We're good."

Ben nodded once, curtly. He looked miserable.

Guards let them through, and they drove up to the US part of the secure section of the pier. Dave relaxed. This would be safe. "We're in friendly territory now, babe," he murmured to Ben. The driver bristled, which told Dave he spoke more English than he'd let on, but Dave didn't care about that. All he cared about was Ben.

That was when an explosion rocked the pier. Dave threw his body over Ben's, but the car stayed stable. "IED," Dave said, reaching for his gun.

"Suicide blast," said the English-speaking guard. "Stay here."

Dave's phone rang. He recognized Chief's number right away. "Chief!"

The two guards jumped out of the car. "Hopper where the fuck are you?" Chief shouted into his phone.

"I'm on the dock. In a car with Ben." Dave hummed for a second. "We've got guards, and I'm pretty sure the car is armored."

"I think I see you. Get your ass on this boat. We're under attack." Chief hung up.

Dave kissed Ben. "Your guard guys will keep you safe. I've got to go."

Ben's face lost all color, but he nodded. "Be safe. I love you."

"I love you too." Dave slipped out of the car.

"I told you to stay put!" Guard Guy grabbed his arm and got into his face. It was the only way he could make himself heard, thanks to all of the sirens and shouting.

"Just got my orders. Sorry, pal. Keep him safe for me. If it comes to it, get him onto that ship. He'll be safest there. I've got thirteen more SEALs just like me on that boat who'll die to keep him safe." He patted Guard Guy's arm and dashed up the gangplank to find Chief.

Chief didn't say a word to him, just jerked a thumb to where their armor and equipment were kept. Most of the other guys were there too, in varying degrees of preparedness. Dave got into his armor in record time and reported with the rest to Chief.

"Secure the facility!" Chief barked. "And don't be nice about it."

Dave and his buddies ran down the gangplank to the sound of gunfire. Who would have been shooting at them? This was supposed to have been a secure area, a Navy facility. There shouldn't have been anyone back here who wasn't US or French Navy.

The gunfire was coming from a small building Dave recognized as a fuel storage facility. "Oh, shit," he said out loud. He returned fire, just before he activated his comm and reported the issue. "We can't assume only one bomb."

"I'm on it," Kelly told him, and took off with Buelen.

The two guards with Ben saw where Dave was pointing. Their eyes widened, comically, and then they got back into the car. Sirens blaring, they jumped into the car and drove away.

Damn it. Hopefully wherever they were taking Ben was safer than the pier.

Dave caught sight of a man wearing a trench coat walking toward his position. "Halt!" he barked. "Halt, or I'll shoot!"

The man flung his coat open, revealing a thick vest covered in wires. He held what looked like a switch in his hand. "Go ahead and shoot me. It's a dead man's switch." The man had a bit of an accent, but it sounded more German than French. "Give us Conley, and we'll deactivate the bombs."

Dave hadn't even realized DeWitt was anywhere near him. "You know that's not going to happen. Just like we know you're not deactivating anything."

"You don't lose anything by giving us Conley, then." The bomber smirked. "You might as well let him go. If your faith is so small, then he'll die anyway. If we prove you wrong, then you'll have saved all of these people, and all for the low price of one man."

DeWitt scoffed. "We don't negotiate with terrorists."

The bomber hooted. "The whole world knows that isn't true. Give us Conley, and no one else gets hurt."

"Robson?"

"Ten minutes." The voice came across everyone's comm. "You're kind of asking for the impossible here."

"Give us Conley!" the bomber screamed. "I won't ask again."

DeWitt crossed his arms over his chest. "You're willing to kill yourself for one loser who's willing to sell you out, sell your whole cause out? Because he's been sitting in the brig and let me tell you, he's been singing like a canary."

Sweat ran down Dave's back. He had no idea how many bombers there were in the crowd or in the buildings. The bomber kept using the plural. He didn't seem at all nervous about dying, either. What if his vest was a dummy? What if he was faking the whole thing?

Kelly and Buelen ran away from the fuel building as fast as their feet could carry them. "It's wired to all hell," Buelen gasped. "It's going to blow." They ran up onto the Solace.

The bomber flinched. He didn't push his button, but he apparently didn't have to. His vest exploded, but the sound was lost in the deafening roar that went up from the fuel depot.

The blast wave picked Dave up and threw him up and back toward the ship. He'd never flown before, not like that. He had the time to think about that. In reality, he probably wasn't flying all that long, but it felt like forever. It was beautiful.

He couldn't hear anything. Intellectually he knew that was probably bad, and he should be afraid of that. Right now, though, he could only think about what an incredible sensation it was to fly, and how much he hoped it didn't stop.

It would hurt like hell when he landed.

He hit the railing on the gangplank with enough force for a piece of its twisted, shorn metal to pierce his leg. He thought he screamed, but he couldn't be sure. His chest felt wrong, too tight like he was drowning. This couldn't be right. He needed to get away. He needed to make sure Ben was okay. If the bad guys could hit a secure US Navy installation, who was to say they couldn't hit elsewhere in Toulon?

He tried to force himself off the metal, but he didn't have that kind of strength. That didn't make sense. He was a goddamn SEAL. He was the strongest of the strong, the best of the best. They didn't lose, and they didn't get themselves killed. They didn't come in second place to a stupid guardrail.

A face came into focus in front of him. It took a moment, but he recognized it eventually. Kulkarni looked worried. His dark lips were moving, but Dave couldn't understand a word he was saying. He still couldn't hear, and he couldn't get enough breath either.

He reached out to grab onto his friend's shoulders. "Can't hear you buddy." He couldn't tell if he was getting words out, but moving his arms was a miserable experience of its own, especially on the right side. "Where's Ben? Is he okay?"

Kulkarni frowned and turned his head away. His face looked like he was yelling.

Another familiar face showed up after a few minutes. Hobson showed up, with a stethoscope. She turned to Kulkarni, her face serious.

Dave couldn't follow anything going on between them. Everything hurt, and he was getting cold. He knew he should try to hang onto consciousness, if only for Ben's sake, but even he could only do so much. He gave into the darkness around him.