Chapter Eight
Okay, so knowing Deke was leaving in the morning sucked.
Bryan sat in his bed and watched his lover sleep. He’d sleep later when Deke was gone. He had to work in the morning as soon as Deke drove away. He’d have something to do. Somewhere to go.
Deke rumbled, hand sliding out and searching for him. As soon as Deke connected with his thigh, it was petted, stroked, before settling wrapped around his skin.
Yeah, you’re okay, man. In fact, he thought Deke was going to be way more okay than he was. Deke was going back to a whole different life that he loved. Him? He was staying put.
Deke made another noise and his eyes blinked open. He looked up, smiling as soon as he met Bryan’s gaze.
“Hey. It’s still early. Go back to sleep, huh? You have a drive tomorrow.” Today. Whatever.
“I can sleep tomorrow.” Deke rolled onto his side and held out an arm to him. “Come here.”
“I want you to be safe.” He scooted closer, though.
“I’ll be fine, baby. All the better for knowing I loved you as hard as I could before I had to go.” Deke pulled him against his chest, sliding him up against all those amazing muscles.
God, he wanted to ask Deke to stay, but he didn’t, because it wasn’t possible. It wasn’t Deke’s fault he’d fallen in love with a sailor.
Deke’s mouth closed over his, this kiss lazy, almost still half-asleep. It continued on, gentle and slow, and somehow all that much deeper for its carefulness.
I love you, you beautiful bastard.
Ditto.
Bryan hadn’t said the words out loud and he was pretty fucking sure Deke hadn’t spoken out loud either. Hell, their kisses hadn’t stopped for a second.
Whatever worked. He had to believe they were both in love, so he pretended it was real.
Deke grabbed his ass in one of those big hands and began to rock them together. Their skin slid, his cock bumping against Deke’s, rubbing in a most delicious way. It felt fucking amazing and he lost himself in it.
He leaned in and began biting and nuzzling, licking Deke’s throat.
Deke moaned for him, the sound settling deep inside him, beginning to echo, ring inside him. It was stunning, and hot, and it—Deke—made him need.
“Make love to me again?” One more time?
“Yes.” Deke reached past him, finding the lube off the side table without hesitation.
He tried not to worry that this would be the last time.
Deke slid his fingers along Bryan’s spine down to his crack where they stayed, played. He’d never wanted ass play like he did with Deke, never wanted things to build, go so far.
Deke’s fingers disappeared for as long as it took him to slick them up, then they were back, pushing at Bryan’s sweet fucking hole. He opened like a slut, spreading wide.
That had Deke groaning, pushing his fingers deeper and wriggling them around until Bryan jerked as they found his gland, sending lightning shooting through him. He drew his leg up, baring himself. A week ago he never would have guessed he would want to do this, that it would make him feel sexy and hot to expose himself like this to his lover. To Deke. That was a very important component.
Deke rolled them, putting him on his stomach beneath his lover’s weight. Deke was heavy, solid and so very warm.
He rolled up, ass rubbing, back arched.
“Got you,” Deke told him, body rolling into him, pushing him into the mattress. He could feel the hot brand of Deke’s cock against the backs of his thighs.
That was the truth. He’d never felt so...taken.
Deke’s fingers breached him first, two pushing right in and opening him up, pulling his hole and stretching him, tugging him wide.
“Gonna be buried inside you in a minute. Gonna stretch you so wide and take this ass.”
That worked for him. “Something I can remember.”
“You’ve got my family crest on your hip, too, baby.” Deke’s fingers slid across his tattoo, making it tingle, the feeling like a buzz moving through him.
What did that even mean? He didn’t know. Hadn’t known.
“I’ll always be a part of you.” Deke’s fingers slid away, there was the crinkle of the condom package, and a moment later that thick, hard cock pushed into him.
“I want that to be true.” God, he was turning into a whiner.
“It is, baby. I promise you.” Deke thrust in deep, pinging off his gland.
“Right there. Right there. Again, Deke. Right fucking there.”
Deke’s hands landed on his ass, and the next thrust hit that spot again, everything inside him lighting up in the best possible way. He tossed his head, swallowing hard as he fought to get that touch, over and over.
“I’ve got you covered.” Deke growled out the words to him, moving those big hands to wrap around his hips.
He swore he could feel the bruises popping up beneath Deke’s solid grip. He didn’t mind at all. He’d look at them in the mirror tonight and remember.
Each of Deke’s thrusts thudded through him, and he swore he could feel them down to his toes. He was going to be sore, aching for days. At least he hoped so. He didn’t even complain when one of Deke’s hands slid up front past his waist to pluck at his nipples. It would be worth it, to remember tomorrow. To know that Deke was with him.
Deke flicked lightly at first, then he pinched. But soon those touches became more, became harder, Deke pinching and twisting, making him ache so hard.
“Jesus. Jesus, I’m gonna feel that later.”
“You better believe it. You’re going to feel it for days whenever you wear a shirt. Feel my touch living with you.” Deke didn’t stop touching while he talked; no, the whole time Deke teased one nipple then the other, dancing across the expanse between them.
“Gonna miss you, man.”
“I’ll be back.” Deke pushed against his gland with every word.
“I’ll be waiting.” It was his promise.
“You better be. You’re mine.” Deke began banging into him more quickly, finding that rhythm that was guaranteed to send them both flying, the pleasure running like a pulse through his body.
They drove together, the passion too big to hold on to, too much to go any farther. The strength of Deke’s thrusts seemed to grow exponentially until they hit critical mass and Deke roared, holding still for a long moment, and he swore he could feel the condom filling.
His own orgasm followed, but it was secondary, his focus on Deke’s heat.
“Meine.” The word echoed inside him and he found himself nodding.
“Deine.” The answer came, easy as breathing.
Deke pressed kisses along his back, on his neck. “I wish I didn’t have to go, baby.”
“Me, too, but you do. You have a phone, you know how to use it, and I’m a big boy.”
Deke snickered. “That sounds way dirtier than you meant it, I’m sure.”
He laughed along, although his heart wasn’t in it. “You never know with me.”
Deke turned his head, taking a long, soft kiss. “One of the reasons I love you, baby.”
Oh.
Love.
Deke loved him. He felt that to his toes, and they curled. His heart felt like it was going to burst.
“I love you, Deke. I know it’s only been a few days, but... I do.”
“I’m glad. It would feel like crap if I was the only one.” Deke sighed.
“It feels like crap to say the ‘I love yous’ knowing you’re on your way home.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll be back, though, you know? And if you...if you feel really strange or like, desperate, you should tell Shae and Jake. He can get me here if it’s an emergency.”
Bryan laughed softly and put up his hand in the scout salute. “I swear not to die of a broken heart.”
Deke did chuckle, but he shook his head, too. “It’s not like that exactly. I think...”
He’d never known Deke to hesitate, to be anything but confident.
“I’ll be fine. Seriously. I know I’m sad you’re leaving, but I’m not unreasonable about it.” He didn’t tend to depression or hard core doldrums.
“No, it’s... Do you believe in soul mates? I mean, they exist even if you don’t, but it would easier to tell you if you do.” Deke gave him a wry grin.
What was Deke going on about? Was this because they’d said ‘I love you’? “Soul mates? Like in romance novels? I mean, you hear the words a lot in movies.”
“It doesn’t work quite like in movies and books, but that’s the general idea. My kind of soul mate brings changes. I’m not only what I appear to be.”
“Are you a spy?” Please be one of the good guys.
“A spy?” Deke looked honestly confused. “Why would you think I’m a spy?”
“Well, you’re in the military, you’re a stud, and you say you’re not what you appear. The other option is that you’re married with children.”
Deke snorted at that. “I’m not into women, Bryan, I think you know that. I wasn’t going to say anything, but then I told you I loved you and you said it back. No, no. It’s all good.”
“Are you sorry you said it? Because if you are, then you should say so. I wasn’t going to become a clingy asshole before and I won’t now.” The only person being an asshole was Deke if this was him going hysterical for saying “I love you” before he was ready to.
“Now you’re mad at me.”
“I’m not mad.” Okay, maybe he was a little bit mad. But he was mostly confused. Deke was usually so confident. Looked like him leaving was affecting him every bit as much as it was affecting Bryan. Maybe even more.
“You are mad,” Deke noted.
“Well, you can’t drop ‘I’ve got something important to tell you’ and then take it back!”
“But I wasn’t going to do this until later, it just sort of came out.”
“Then don’t tell me!” This was not how he’d wanted to spend their last few hours together.
“That’s it, I’m telling you, so you don’t think it’s anything shady.” Deke took a deep breath. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it. I’m a dragon.”
“A dragon? What’s that? Like some special forces thing?”
“That would make this easier, wouldn’t it?” Deke shook his head. “I knew I should have trusted my first instinct and not said anything. I mean dragon like a scales, wings, claws and teeth dragon. I shift. And you’re my soul mate.”
“What?” Deke was fucking with him, but why?
“I know it sounds crazy. But we can go over and talk with Shae and Jake. They’ll back me up. They can explain some of the changes that you can eventually expect and help you to get through the time without me. It’s not going to be easy on either of us. We’re meant to be together. But we haven’t taken the last step, so we’ll get through it as long as we need to.”
Bryan lay there, not sure what to say, because either choice sucked. Either Deke was crazy, which sucked, or Deke was fucking with him because this was his way of breaking it off, which was worse.
Maybe it was a shit joke, a defensive mechanism.
Maybe that was it.
“Do you want something for breakfast?”
“Is that all you’re going to say?” Deke asked. “You don’t have questions? You don’t want to yell at me?”
“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say, so I guess I won’t.” Having a poke at him, that was it. Putting some distance between them.
“I don’t know what you’re supposed to say either—I’ve never told anyone before.”
“I won’t mention it to anyone.” Fuck him raw.
“You can talk to Shae and Jake about it if you want.” Deke sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump this on you like this. I wanted to revel in you in our last few hours together. I wasn’t going to say anything until I got back. But all of a sudden I thought about leaving without telling you, then I said I love you and this seemed as important. All of a sudden I couldn’t leave without telling you. I couldn’t not say it.”
Bryan felt like they were talking two different languages. Seriously.
Deke cupped his cheek. “Maybe I should go, eh? Give you time to let what I told you sink in.”
“I—Okay. Okay, you want a coffee for the road?”
“I’ll pick up some Timmies on the way out of town.” Deke got up and started getting dressed. “Go talk to Shae, huh? He’s a good guy. So is my brother.”
“I know. I’ve been his neighbor for ten years.” He had to clean up. Get dressed. Something.
Deke leaned down into his bed and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him into a hard kiss. “I do love you, Bryan. And I’ll see you soon.”
“I love you. Text me when you get there safe?” Text me and tell me you were being a psycho?
“I will. Then I’ll call tonight and we can have phone sex.” Deke touched him, gaze on him like he couldn’t look away.
“Go on, sailor. You have to save people. I’m not in any danger of going anywhere.” Even as he said it, anger began to boil up inside him. What the fuck crazy shit was this anyway? Deke made him want the bastard, badly, said he loved him, then oh yeah, I’m a dragon and you’re my soul mate? There really were much easier ways to break things off. He got that this was a holiday fling. He didn’t like it and he’d thought it was more, but fuck him, this was a lousy way to end it. Why had Deke even bothered with the “I love you” if he had this up his sleeve?
“You tell Jake if you want me back before I have time off.”
“Is that why you said ‘I love you,’ because you want to come back? What the fuck was all that dragon crap, then?”
Deke frowned. “It wasn’t crap, it was real. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have waited.”
“For what?” Bryan got up and yanked on a pair of sweat pants. He was not having an argument naked. Especially when Deke was dressed—gave Deke far too big an advantage.
And Deke already had the advantage.
“For when we can be together again. I know it’s a lot to process... I knew I didn’t know how to tell you properly.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because I thought I could wait, but it turned out I couldn’t.”
Well la-de-fucking-da, bully for Deke, throwing out shit because he couldn’t help himself? Dump Bryan before Bryan could dump him? Did Deke really think that’s what would have happened after he’d left? What the fuck. He deserved better than to be treated like an idiot because Deke couldn’t break things off like a normal human being. Bryan shook his head. “I should have known you were dicking with me. Man, if I was still in touch with Mother Rose, she would say I told you so and make me get down on my knees and pray with her. You dragged me into all this, made me want you, made me want you to do things to me that I’ve never wanted. Ever! Damn you, Deke, you’re an asshole. Get out of my house.” He couldn’t believe it was going down like this.
“Bryan. Please. You didn’t do anything wrong by enjoying your body—enjoying me. I don’t want to leave things like this.”
“You don’t have a choice. Go.” He was angry, mad enough now that he was practically vibrating.
Deke gave him a long, measured look, then he grabbed his bag and left.
Bryan sat there on the bed, staring at the empty space. Okay, then. Time to get back to real life, right?
Right.
It might be boring, but at least real life didn’t include psychos who wanted to dick around with him. He totally would have understood if Deke had said thanks for the holiday fling, see you around. He would have been sad, but he would have understood. He hadn’t needed, or deserved this mind-game bullshit. He could think of a couple worse ways to dump someone, but this was definitely in the top three.
It was time to fucking get over Deke—he totally wasn’t worth it.
Bryan got up and went to find his work overalls.