I shouldn’t have spoken to her at all. I had a serious girlfriend, who lived with me. We had been together for five years. I loved her more than I loved anyone else.

Kira was just a fan, who had good season tickets that I happened to notice during warm-ups. Yes, she was beautiful, but that was all I knew about her... and that certainly wasn’t enough to throw away something good that I’d had for five years. 

There was something about her though, something I couldn’t control. I was drawn to her and I didn’t understand why. When I saw her at the concession counter, I couldn’t help but talk to her - more than what I should have under normal circumstances. Just because I was suspended didn’t mean I couldn’t be utilized for the fans’ enjoyment. It was Katella Hanson’s idea that I help out at the concession stand in my suit with an apron over it. It put a positive spin on something negative and might make this suspension bearable.

I recognized her immediately. Her blonde hair was straight and pulled into a high ponytail. She wore a green plaid shirt and skinny jeans with knee-high flat boots. Her face was left natural - mascara and lipgloss with a bit of eyeliner to make her hazel eyes pop out - but there was a warmth to it that I couldn’t help stare at. A smattering of light freckles was sprinkled across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She looked young - like she had just graduated from high school - but I was positive she was older than she looked.

When she came up to order, she didn’t recognize me until after she picked her eyes up from her phone to actually look at me. Then this adorable blush swept across her features in pink and I couldn’t stop staring at that, either.

We talked, and I smiled. I didn’t smile often, not because I was unhappy but just because I didn’t really smile. I smiled with her though... and I found myself looking forward to interacting with her again.

I probably wouldn’t see her until next Tuesday - if I saw her at all. Who knew if Katella would assign me this specific concession stand again for next game? I was positive Kira wasn’t going to be at the auction this weekend... not because she wasn’t rich or couldn’t fit in, but more because she didn’t seem like the type of girl who liked dressing up or going out.

I met Rose in the press box for the duration of the game. She looked beautiful - she always did - hair swept back from her face, makeup flawless. She had on a Gulls hoodie and jeans, high tops on her feet. The very essence of casual-chic.

During the game, she was on her phone. I couldn’t blame her. I wasn’t playing and she wasn’t interested in hockey unless I was involved somehow.

I didn’t mind. I was silent as I watched the game from so high up. My eyes kept looking for Kira, though.

I shouldn’t be looking for another woman when I was with my girl... except Rose wasn’t exactly my girl. She was my girlfriend and she wanted to be more than that. She wanted to be my wife.

That was something I just st couldn’t give to her. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I didn’t know if I wanted to get married. And yes, maybe it was unfair to string Rose along for all of these years, but she knew how I felt about getting married. I didn’t know if she stuck around because she hoped I would change my mind or if she liked the perks that came along with being with a professional hockey player.

We watched the game in silence. We were comfortable with each other. I never asked her who she was on the phone with, knowing it was probably one of her friends. There was still tension between us, tension I wanted to fix but didn’t know how. Her new television show was set to start shooting in the summer, which was a few months away. I could be out there during that time, but I couldn’t stay out there during the fall, not when hockey season started back up again. I also couldn’t pressure her to stay, either. This was her goal, to be on a hit television show. I wasn’t about to pressure her to pick one or the other.

However, I also knew she was at the age where she wanted to settle down and have children. I respected the fact that women had a biological clock and it was only natural when it started to tick. I just didn’t think I was ready to have kids. I didn’t think I was ready to settle down.

The game ended and I shook hands with our announcers, Swayze and Walker, before heading back down and out of the stadium. I didn’t want to admit that I had been trying to locate Kira and her friends before we headed out. There was no sign of them though, which was just as well.

Once we were in the car, I started the engine and proceeded to drive out of the player parking lot, which was located under the ice rink. The black Cadillac SUV roared to life and I felt myself squeeze my finger tighter around the rubber steering wheel. I loved driving this car.

“You’re quiet,” I murmured once we drove through the post-Gulls game traffic.

It was true. Rose wasn’t overly talkative, but she did manage to start conversations after the game, especially after we lost. It helped distract me from thinking too hard on everything I had done wrong.

“I’m just...” She let her voice trail off and shook her head. “It’s fine, Drew. Just don’t worry about it.”

“Rose,” I began, insisting she speak with me.

“Drew, I get that this is a big decision,” she said, looking at my profile. I kept my eyes on the road in front of me rather than on her. “And I know you need a few days to think about it... but if you know this isn’t going to work out, I would rather know now.”

“I just need some time,” I mumbled. “Just give me a few days. It is a big decision.”

Rose nodded her head and looked back at her nail beds. I swore she muttered, “It really shouldn’t be, though.”