Chapter Eighteen
Rachel
Rachel sat in the middle of her bed, tears rolling down her face. The day had been amazing. Everything had been perfect, until she had to mention that she was a virgin. Rachel never thought Diesel would have the reaction he did. He acted like she had the plague. The rejection hurt. Rachel rubbed a hand over her chest. It really did hurt like a living, breathing thing inside her heart.
Hearing the creak of the stairs, she knew Diesel was on his way up. Rachel watched, frozen as his shadow stopped in front of her door. Grabbing her pillow, she placed it to her face to muffle the sound of her crying. She had been humiliated enough for one day, she didn’t need or want him to see her crying, too. After a moment, his shadow disappeared and Rachel breathed a hiccupped sigh of relief.
Being a virgin had never bothered her before. She had never met anyone she wanted to be with in that way. But now, she hated it.
No, she told herself. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin.
Wiping the wetness from her face, Rachel walked into the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, Rachel could see the sadness in her own eyes. Of all the things to be rejected for, she never thought Diesel would freak out over her virginity. The burns and scars - yeah. But not her virginity. With a heavy sigh, Rachel knew what she had to do. There was no way she could face him in the morning. There was no way she could continue to live under the same roof with him. She needed to get out of here.
Exiting the bathroom, Rachel grabbed her duffle bag and started packing her clothes. She couldn’t take it all, but that was okay. That was normal. Every time Rachel moved, she always left something behind.
Once she had everything she needed, Rachel took a minute to look around. She would miss this place. Home. For a brief time, it was home. But now, as she looked around the room all she saw was broken hopes and shattered dreams littering the floor; and her chest tightened.
“This is going to hurt like heck,” she whispered out loud.
Taking a deep breath, she turned to the bedroom door and quietly opened it. Making her way down the stairs, careful not to step on the spots that creaked, Rachel headed for the back door. Again, looking around the house as she passed through rooms. She would truly miss this place.
Pulling open the back door and silently closing it behind her, she stepped outside inhaling the smells of nature that surrounded her. As Rachel quickly made her way to the side of the house, more tears began to fall. A piece of her heart would always live here.
Strapping her bag onto the back of her bike, Rachel took a minute to calm herself. She couldn’t ride if her vision was blurred. Taking one final deep breath, she straddled her bike and lifted the kickstand. With a quick turn of the key, it rumbled to life. She needed to hurry. Diesel would no doubt hear the noise, especially if he was awake. Shifting into gear, Rachel sped down the driveway, away from the only place and man that had ever managed to wiggle into her heart.
Two hours later, Rachel pulled her bike into the parking lot of Tank’s Bar. She had no idea why she was here, she couldn’t even drink. But other than Viper, Tank was her closest friend. He was like a big brother, and Rachel could use a friend right now. The ride back into town had been hell. Every mile between her and Diesel felt like another piece of her heart was being ripped out.
Entering the bar, everything was in full swing. Music pumped loudly through speakers. All around the large room people danced and drank. Tank’s Bar was one of the most popular in Dallas County. There was never a night that people weren’t being turned away at the door. But not Rachel, never Rachel. Everyone knew she was allowed in no matter how many others were inside.
Stepping up to the bar, she took a seat at the far end and waited for Tank to make his way in her direction. It wasn’t a long wait. The moment he noticed her, he ignored everyone else and came straight over.
“What are you doing here?” Tank said, looking around the bar. “And where is Diesel?”
Just the sound of his name caused her eyes to fill with moisture. Quickly, Rachel looked down at her lap, hoping Tank wouldn’t notice, but apparently, luck was not on her side.
“What the fuck happened, Rach?” Tank asked, using a finger to lift her chin. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t. Not here,” Rachel clarified. She was not going to discuss her humiliation in a room full of drunks.
“Joz!” Tank yelled, “Watch the bar. I’ll be back in a few.”
“Got it, boss,” the curvy redhead yelled back.
“Come on,” Tank said, grabbing Rachel’s hand and pulling her around the corner of the bar.
Walking down the back hall, Tank led Rachel into his office. Together they both sat on the couch. The moment Tank put his arm around her shoulders, Rachel broke. The tears fell like someone had opened a dam.
“Please,” Tank said softly. “Tell me what happened.”
Rachel relayed the embarrassing situation, careful to leave out some of the more intimate details. By the time the story was finished, Rachel was emotionally exhausted. She leaned into Tank and let him support her weight.
“Okay. Let me get this right,” Tank said. “Diesel freaked out because you’re a virgin and pushed you away?”
“Yes,” Rachel hiccupped.
“And you snuck off in the middle of the night. Without saying a word. Without letting him explain,” Tank added.
“Yes,” Rachel said, sounding offended. “He rejected me because of my virginity! Why should I have listened to a word he had to say?”
“Because maybe,” Tank began. “Just maybe, he wasn’t rejecting you because of your virginity! Maybe he freaked out because he was about to pop your cherry on a fucking boat! Maybe he freaked out because he thought your first time should be more meaningful than an evening hump on a damn boat!”
“I dou...” Rachel sighed. “Crap!”
“You think?” Tank said sarcastically. “Rachel, listen to me. You have to stop this. Not everyone is after something. Do not make Marcus pay for the mistakes of everyone else. He is not one of your mother’s enemies.”
“I know,” Rachel said, standing to pace the room.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Really? Then why did you run in the middle of the night and end up in a dive bar?”
“This isn’t a dive bar.”
“Not the point.”
“I know.”
“Go home.”
Rachel stood staring out the window of Tank’s office. Could she sneak in before Diesel knew she was gone? If not, how could she explain this to him without embarrassing herself even more? She needed sleep. There was no way around it. She would have to face Diesel later. Right now, she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep away the stupidity of her day.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” Rachel asked, looking at Tank in the reflection of the window.
“Sure,” he smiled. “Why don’t you head upstairs. Take a hot shower and you can have the guest bedroom.”
“Thanks,” Rachel replied. Walking over to her friend, she gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Stupid shit, that’s what,” Tank chuckled when Rachel slapped his arm.
“Hush!” Rachel grabbed her bag and headed up the stairs to Tank’s apartment. She would take his suggestion - shower and then bed - in that order.
Waiting until he knew Rachel was out of ear shot, Tank reached into the back pocket of his jeans and grabbed his cell phone. This town was not safe, not for her. Not until the men who were after her were caught and properly dealt with.
Pressing a few buttons, he raised the phone to his ear and waited. The first call went unanswered, so he redialed with the same results. Connecting the call for the third time, it was finally answered by a pissed off, groggy voice.