Chapter 11
Marry Jake. That’s an option. A fairy-tale option that couldn’t possibly be real.
Seriously, how was she supposed to treat that thought with any dignity? Elope? That’s not what I want! It was different when she arranged to marry a man out of perceived necessity without knowing much about him. Completely different when sex and emotions came into play.
Jake had been mum about his feelings on the matter. Or at least until they reached his apartment back in the city.
“If we got married instead,” he said matter-of-factly, while Claire sat like a statue on his couch, “it would solve a lot of our problems. Namely, problems with my father. Can’t do much if we’ve already filed a marriage license.”
“Solve our… are you nuts?” Claire scoffed. “Are you missing the part where getting married isn’t a simple thing? I should know. I was agonizing over marrying your dad before I found out I was pregnant. Do you know how close I’ve been to calling it all off to save my sanity? God!” She stood up, jacket falling from her hand. “You know what I wish? I wish I were fucking your father, because then I could say it’s his kid. That would solve all of my problems!”
Jake leaned against his kitchen counter. The tea kettle whistled on the stove behind him. “I know you don’t mean that.”
“I do. If we’re talking about the logical thing to do, then I wish I had fucked your father.” She snorted. “I mean my fiancé. Because God forbid I ever forget that fact.”
“Claire.” Jake rounded the counter. “Don’t torment me with those thoughts. Don’t torment yourself with those thoughts.”
“What, Jake? Are you going to be Prince Charming, come to rescue me from your big, bad daddy? Why do you even want to do something as stupid as eloping with me? Don’t you know what it’s going to do to your relationship with your own father? You stand to lose way more than I do with him. I might as well retire from an acting career I never had. Become a full-time mom or something. I hear going into fashion design is big for has-beens like me. Or do I need to do more than a shitty reality show to be a has-been?”
Jake opened his mouth. Claire cut him off.
“I appreciate you wanting to take responsibility for what we did, but don’t throw away your life for us.”
“For us?”
Claire put her hand on her stomach. “Yeah. Us.”
It was the first time she thought of her baby as anything but… nebulously there. She was aware she was pregnant, and it wasn’t getting easier to ignore as the weeks went by. But she didn’t have any emotions toward the child growing inside of her. It was there. It was a nuisance, honestly. The way it made her feel, the situation it put her in… not a creature to resent, no, since Claire had no one to blame but herself (and Jake)… but she wasn’t elated about the prospect of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. Honestly? It terrified her.
So if she didn’t think about? It didn’t exist. Her baby didn’t exist. The only thing that existed was the terror lurking beneath the surface of her subconscious.
No. It’s happening. I’m having a baby. I’m going to be a mother. Time to do something about it. She would start by protecting the helpless child who depended on her to make the right decisions.
Yes. Rationality. Logic. More than whatever Jake offered her.
Or so she thought until Jake spoke again.
“You know why I suggest something as preposterous as us running off to get hitched before my dad even knows what’s hit him?” Jake took her hand before she had the chance to run out on him again. “If you think it’s only about the baby, you’re blind.”
“Blind?”
“Yes, blind.” Jake brought her closer, his heavy breath hitting her right on the lips. He was so close to kissing her that she almost wished he would. “Because you obviously can’t see how much I love you.”
Her eyes widened, as if to prove how blind she wasn’t.
“I wouldn’t do half of this for a woman I didn’t love, baby or no.”
Claire entertained the truth behind his words for exactly half a second. She then shook him off her, and she didn’t care that the hurt on his face was enough to make her cry as well.
“I really need to go.” Claire hustled away before Jake had the chance to catch her again. “Please… give me a few days to think things over. I can’t make any decisions like that right now. That includes how I feel about you.”
He had offered his truth, and in turn, she gave him hers. Claire didn’t know if she loved this man yet. Not enough to run off and marry him when she was supposed to be marrying another man.
Honestly, the thought of marrying either Carter man made her want to curl up into a ball and wish none of this had ever happened.
***
“Have you gained weight?” The seamstress pulled out her tape and wrapped it around Claire’s midsection. “That’s not good. This dress doesn’t have a lot give for us to loosen up.” She shook her head, those old, graying curls sad about the amount of work she had before her. “I suggest you go on a diet, Ms. Finn. You’ve got one month before your wedding, so that’s enough time to lose an inch!”
Claire ignored her. The wedding dress stretched against her skin, and she didn’t care. Yup. I’ve got a bulge. She could still pass it off as a food baby, and it helped that she had enough weird cravings to get away with it. How much Chinese food had she consumed around her mother lately? “Jesus, Claire!” Gloria had cried more than once. “Since when do you eat like this?” She couldn’t help it. The grease and salt were so good and hit the special hole her baby burrowed in her stomach.
“Don’t think it’s going to get any better.” Claire finished checking messages on her phone – none of them from Jake – and looked at herself in the mirror. The seamstress had moved out of the way, so Claire could get a look of the princess skirt expanding from her waist. The bulge was covered, but the waistline was low enough that it would become quite uncomfortable as the wedding approached. The best thing to do was come clean about being pregnant and either needing a unique solution or buying a whole new dress. Unfortunately, she still wasn’t in the mood to share the news with strangers. She had yet to tell her own mother about becoming a grandmother.
“I don’t know what you want me to do, Ms. Finn.” The seamstress pulled another pin from her hair and attempted to loosen up more of the waistline. “I’m very good at what I do, but I’m not a miracle worker.”
“It’s fine. It will have worked itself out by then.”
“I thought you said…”
That’s what Claire did, though. She waffled between calling off the wedding and going about sabotaging it, so Arthur would be the one to call it off. I haven’t talked to him in three days. Ever since she caught him in bed with another woman, Arthur had been scarce. The only time he willingly called or messaged Claire was to discuss tentative details or to invite her over for lunch. She turned him down most of the time, but the wedding planning went on as usual.
What a strange circumstance.
Likewise, Claire hadn’t spoken to Jake. She had asked for space, and he gave it to her. It allowed her to think about his declaration of love and how much it meant to her.
On one hand, she wanted Jake to be real. Those past few weeks sharing his bed and making love whenever they had a spare moment were some of the best of Claire’s life. Love? A part of her had certainly been falling in love with him, hadn’t it? Because she wouldn’t risk everything with her sure-thing of a marriage match if she wasn’t falling in love with a man that should’ve walked straight out of her dreams.
That was the problem, huh? It was too good to be true. The man she saw from across the room… the one she had a fling with… the one who accidentally knocked-her up… in love? With each other? Could it possibly be a forever thing?
Reality told her no. Fantasy, romance… it told her to go for it. To take the husband who claimed to love her, instead of the one who still had eyes for other women. God knew Claire only had eyes for the one who truly loved her.
If he truly loved her.
She left her wedding dress fitting with new resolve. Claire got in the back of a taxi and gave the directions to Jake’s apartment. From her bag she pulled out a manila envelope containing the first few sonograms of her baby, procured earlier that morning.
I wish you could’ve been there, Jake. Maybe that was Claire’s problem. She was going through this alone, because she didn’t know who to trust and who to keep at arm’s length. She was the only one her baby could trust, and she had to be extra vigilant.
I’m tired of being alone in this. Next time, Jake could come with her and see his own child. Until then, she would take these pictures over to his place and gauge his reaction.
“Ms. Finn!” The receptionist in Jake’s building perked up in surprise. Why? It wasn’t uncommon for Claire to be around there anymore. Hell, how many times had she snuck out at three in the morning so she would be home before her mother realized she stayed out so late? “Was Mr. Carter expecting you today?”
Claire stopped in front of the desk. “No,” she said, manila envelope threatening to slip from her fingers. “I’m surprising him. Why? Is he not in today?” He had mentioned something about finishing up a script and shopping it around with his agent. Claire knew that could mean multiple meetings over several weeks.
“He’s in, but… he expressed that nobody else should bother him today.”
“Nobody else?” This apartment building would rue the day they hired this incompetent asshead. Because a good receptionist would not have let slip that a resident already had one female caller that day. A secret one, apparently.
The apple truly did not fall far from the tree.
“Ms. Finn!” The receptionist called after her as she ducked into the elevator and jammed her finger into the button.
The doors closed before anyone could stop her.
She rehearsed what she might say the whole way up. “Here’s the pictures of your baby, asshole. Enjoy them with your new skank.” “How many babies you making in this town, Jake? Huh? Your father got a few more, too?” Each one fed into her righteous need for revenge.
It fueled her on her way to his door. When she knocked, it was with a fiery indignation that almost knocked the door in.
Jake opened it a crack. Claire crossed her arms.
“Claire? What are you doing here?” Jake opened the door the whole way. She peered over his shoulder, but didn’t see another woman present in the small apartment.
She slammed the manila folder against his chest. “Sonograms,” she announced loudly. “Mr. Baby Daddy.”
He was too shocked to keep her out of his apartment. Claire entered and immediately found the other guest.
It took her a moment to recognize Arthur’s little girlfriend from the studio lot. She’s younger than me. She’s prettier than me. She’s sure as hell easier to manipulate than I am. That didn’t make Claire feel better to think, but it was worth it in the moment.
“You…” Claire braced herself against the archway leading from living room to the dining area.
The woman was so white with fear that she looked even more different from that afternoon Claire caught her in bed with Arthur. You and your little pink convertible! Who the fuck are you? Barbie? Wait. Why was she white with fear? This wasn’t a woman having a romantic rendezvous with another Carter boy. Or at least Claire doubted she would drop by Jake’s place for romance wearing nothing but gym sweats. She had no makeup on, and her ponytail was greasy. The only reason Claire recognized her was because that faraway afternoon was etched into her memory.
“Ms. Finn!”
“Claire,” Jake said behind them. “I’d like to formally introduce you to Ms. Ophelia Walter. You might know her by the stage name Ophelia Wells.”
“I know who she is.” Claire rounded on him. “She’s the woman I found in bed with your father.”
“See?” Jake said to Ophelia. “I told her she didn’t think of him as her fiancé first. He’ll always be my father.”
“What’s that have to do with anything?”
“Have a seat, Claire. You might be interested in this.”
Confusion settled over her as she sat down at the dining table. The same table she had dined at with Jake more times than she could count. Mexican food. Thai food. Chinese food. BLTs and Boston Market. What did it matter anymore? This woman clearly ate with Jake, as recently as… what time was it? An hour ago? Looked like Indian takeout in the trash.
Ophelia joined them. Jake sat at the end of his table with both women on either side of him. “Go on,” Jake said with a sigh, “ask.”
Claire blurted, “You two sleeping together too?”
“No.” Jake said that, while Ophelia looked as if she wanted to die. “Feel better now?”
“No. What the hell is going on?” Her manila folder of sonogram photos crinkled against her small baby bulge. She had half a mind to stick this man’s hand on her stomach and ask if he remembered how it got there. She didn’t care if it was in front of Ophelia. She could feel it too if she fucking wanted!
Jake put a hand on Claire’s and gave it a squeeze before crossing his arms on the table. “Ophelia is interested in filing a suit against my father.”
“A… suit?”
“I’m not the only one, Ms. Finn. What you saw at the house a couple of weeks ago… I feel so terrible. I only got into that mess because… oh, it’s all my fault. I should’ve said no.”
Claire almost choked on her words. “Are you saying that Arthur…?” How in the world? Because what Claire saw in that master bedroom had Ophelia in a position where she could have easily gotten away if it had not been consensual.
“It’s not like that.” Ophelia’s cheeks were as pink as her Corvette. “Please. You’re his fiancée… I don’t want to…”
“I’m not going to be his fiancée for long.” Claire believed it when she said it, too. “If you think I love the man, you’re sorely mistaken.”
Jake filled in the information on Ophelia’s behalf. “Ophelia and about a dozen other women are filing a suit together. Because my father has a terrible reputation for sexually intimidating young actresses and putting them into situations where they must either submit to his whim or risk being blacklisted.” He looked toward Claire. “Sound familiar?”
She ignored that last bit. “She’s telling you about this?”
“It was my idea. I’m helping to pay for a good attorney, because I know my father’s, and he’s one of the best in LA. These women have raised some of their own funds, but not enough.”
“If they win a suit against your dad, you might lose more than your relationship with him! What about your own career? You’ll always be associated with him!”
“It’s the right thing to do. My father’s only the tip of the iceberg in this town. After seeing what it did to my mother and how she got off easy… I’m sick of it. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Actresses should only be expected to use their talents and training to get roles.”
“Like you’ve never taken advantage of it.”
“I used to, yes,” Jake admitted. “When I was younger. I didn’t understand why women threw themselves at me, other than deluding myself into thinking I was that good looking. Eventually I realized they were doing favors for my dad because he said sleeping with either me or him was the only way they could get even a bit part in a subpar movie. I felt so disgusted. When I told my mother, she didn’t even raise her eyebrows. She said she knew the day would come when my father wrapped me up in his web of good old boys and the influence they wielded in Hollywood.”
“It’s not as simple as sleeping for roles!” Ophelia interjected. “The underlying threat was always there. Please believe me, Ms. Finn. If I didn’t do what he said, I could have lost everything. I had already spent everything I had coming to LA to be an actress. I have no home to go back to. The jobs in this town are shit. What am I supposed to do? I had already given up everything for my dream. So I…” Tears formed at the corners of her eyes.
“Stop, please.” Claire couldn’t stand to look at this child. Because that’s all she was to Claire. What if she were my daughter? She couldn’t believe she was already thinking like that. Claire was only twenty-five, and Ophelia was twenty at the oldest. Probably legal, but she would have never given Arthur the time of day unless she felt incredibly pressured to give in to him.
Didn’t Claire know something about that?
“You’re right,” Ophelia continued. “I shouldn’t be telling either of you about this.”
“No, what I mean is…” Claire swallowed. “I’m only marrying Arthur for my career. I have enough nepotism because of my grandfather to get away with only having to marry him.” Unfortunately, it was a thought she had more than once as of late. Arthur was keen to marry her because she was young, hot… and the granddaughter of Hollywood royalty. If she were a mere nobody who only happened to be young and hot, then there would be no marriage offer on the table. She wouldn’t be “respectable” enough for that. Arthur couldn’t get away with taking advantage of Mr. Finn’s granddaughter like that. No. Of course not. He only did that to total nobodies who would be too afraid to say no. Like Ophelia.
She looked between Claire and Jake. “Are you two a couple or something?” Chuckling, Ophelia released the first smile Claire had ever seen on her. It was also probably the only smile she had to give lately. “Oh my God. Did it happen before or after you got engaged to Arthur?”
Neither of them denied it. Luckily, Ophelia didn’t seem interested in using it as leverage against them.
“Wow,” she said. “What a mess this is, huh?”
Ophelia left a few minutes later. She and Jake shared a few private words in the doorway before he saw her off with a short list of numbers for her and the other women in the suit to call.
“Suppose I should be glad that Arthur is legally getting what’s coming to him,” Claire said when Jake returned to the table. “I’m afraid of what it means for… well, me.” Her hand absentmindedly went to her abdomen. For us.
“It will give you the perfect opportunity to break off the engagement without fear of reprisal,” Jake said. “You won’t have to do anything you might regret.”
Like eloping with you? “Is that why you’re getting involved with this? You can tell me the truth, Jake. Are you helping those women only because it frees me from your father?”
“No,” he said, hand firmly on her shoulder and somber eyes locked on hers. “I said I was doing it because it was the right thing, and I maintain that. My father has hurt a lot of people. I intend to rectify some of the wrongs.”
“Sins of the father?”
He glanced at her stomach. “If we… if you have a son, I hope you’ll let me be involved with his life, so I can teach him how to be a decent man.” Jake shook his head. “I don’t even hope to make a good man out of anyone. Just a decent man. Sometimes I think that’s all I can be after the shit that’s been shoved into my head.”
Claire held her envelope to her chest. “What if it’s a girl?”
“I’d be terrified for her every day of her life, but I guess that’s why I need to help clean this world up of scum that would want to hurt her.”
The crinkled envelope landed on the table. “I brought these over to show you.” Claire’s fingers trembled as she undid the metal twist and pulled out the small stack of sonograms. “I thought you might want to see them.”
Jake slid the top picture off the pile. “Holy shit,” he muttered. “It actually looks like…”
“An alien with a big head,” Claire said with a smile. “Can’t wait to shove that out of my vagina. It’s only going to get bigger.”
Jake couldn’t contain the terrible joke coming out of his mouth. “What? The baby or your vagina?”
Claire smacked his arm with a hearty laugh. “Both, obviously!”
For some reason, that made them both laugh until tears were in their eyes. What was it? The severity of the situation? What had happened with Ophelia? The uncertainty of Claire’s future? The uncertainty of Jake’s future? He could lose everything. His status, his career, his inheritance… even if the lawsuit is thrown out, his connection to it could end everything with his father. Maybe they weren’t so different in this after all.
That must have been why Claire didn’t think twice about kissing him at the dining table.
He instantly kissed her back, his arms tight around her shoulders and his tongue making more love to her than the rest of his body. That was what she had come to expect with Jake, though. He was a passionate man prone to romantic whims. He is very much like his father in that regard. Yet Jake knew how to go about it the proper way. Well, maybe having unprotected sex in a closet wasn’t proper, but Claire had been 100% into it and was as guilty as him. She wasn’t afraid to own up to that anymore.
“I love you,” Jake muttered on her lips. “I love you and this baby.” His hand landed on the sonogram. The slap wasn’t threatening. It was protective, as if it had the power to bash away any negative forces daring to encroach upon his family. “I will fight for what’s right, Claire. That means making what we’ve done right.”
“Yes?” She waited for him to say it. One day, when her child asked her how this moment went, she wanted to be able to say, He did it on one knee with love in his eyes.
The love was in his eyes, but he couldn’t get down on one knee. Instead, Jake took her hands into his and said, “Marry me, Claire. Right now. Before everything goes to hell… at least we’ll still have each other.” He kissed her, both hands grabbing her hips, thumbs digging into her pregnant stomach. “At least we’ll have our family.”
She only had to think about it for two seconds. Before, his suggestion that they elope had been madness. Now? It was the only thing that sounded right.
“Yes,” she said in between kisses. “Yes, Jake. Let’s get married. Right now.”