I adopted a cat. And I’m so excited.

It’s been a couple weeks since opening Memory Lane, and I didn’t want to wait any longer...I went to the Humane Society yesterday afternoon. They had lots of cats to pick from (sadly), but once I saw this little calico pressing her face against the bars of her cage, sticking out her front paws to try and reach me, and heard the loud rumbling of her purring, it was all over. Her coloring is as lively as her personality: splotches of tiger-striped orange, black, white and buff, with the most adorable little milk mustache.

Once I decided she was the one, I had Damon meet me and bring Tucker just so we could see if the two would get along. This seemed to please him because it could be construed to mean that I’m thinking future, but since I’m trying like hell to stay in the present, I quickly explained to him that it makes sense for the time we’re together to ensure that the two pets get along well.

I don’t think he believed me. 

Tucker was as smitten with the cat as I was. Damon thinks he must have lived with them before. The cat took to Tucker, too, weaving in and out of his long legs and even rubbing her face against his curious nose, with no apprehension whatsoever about his size.

So it was decided. She was already spayed which meant I could take her home that day. Damon was grinning ear to ear, watching me put her carrier in my car. I got flustered and asked him just what was so fascinating. He said I reminded him of a little girl on Christmas morning. I said it feels kind of like that, and smiled all the way home.

I decided to name her Lucy after a favorite aunt. I set up her litter box in the hallway closet, got out the cat toys I’d been saving and sat on the floor while Lucy scoped out her new home, sniffing with her tiny pink nose and purring.

I love my new roommate. And maybe my new roommate will help distract me from my 24/7 thoughts of my sleepover buddy.

I can hope, right?

I’m making tunafish and saving the juice for Lucy when my mother calls.

“Sweetie, hi—did you see the latest review on Yelp?”

She knows Yelp? My mother never ceases to surprise me. “No...I didn’t. Was it good?”

I can practically feel her beaming through the phone. “Better than good. It was fantastic. Let me read it to you: Memory Lane Café is a fabulous little nook in downtown Ellsworth. The Edison style lights, hardwood floors, nostalgic ambiance, and jazz softly playing in the background make this the perfect place to begin your day. The coffee is excellent, and the morning glory muffins are a personal favorite. Five stars!”

“Oh, that’s great, Mom. Thanks for letting me know.”

“Of course! I just read it and had to call—I didn’t want you to miss it. How’s little Lucy?”

“Doing great. Seems to be very comfortable here already.”

“I love the pictures you texted me. She looks adorable. I’m sure she was so glad to get out of that shelter. How’s Damon?”

My stomach tightens up. Mom sounds so eager to hear about him. “He’s good, thanks.”

“I really liked him, Lane. I know I’ve only met him once, but I had a good feeling about him, and I usually have good intuition about people. And speaking of intuition...I have a good feeling about the man in my life.” Her tone is fringed with elation.

I don’t know quite what to feel, or say. I knew that this was coming someday, and I know I’m twenty-seven years old, but thinking about my parents being divorced makes me feel about ten.

She continues, undeterred by my silence. “Remember that meditation retreat I went on?”

Ughh, does this mean she met some crunchy, hippie-type in Colorado? “Yes.”

“He texted me a lot during that. We weren’t allowed to use our phones until the evenings, but when I’d check, I’d have about fifteen messages from him.” She laughs softly. “The texting turned into...what do they call it? Sexy texting?”

OMG. Am I really having this conversation with my mother? “It’s called sexting. And Mom, you don’t need to share—”

“Sexting! That’s it. Well, we did that. A lot of it. I had no idea that it could be so erotic.”

“Mom. Please. Just don’t.”

“When I got back from the retreat, the sexting progressed to actual sex, so I thought we’d become beneficial friends.”

Jesus H. Christ, she’s still going. “It’s called friends with benefits. I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Seriously, Mom...you’ve got to be careful with people nowadays. And I don’t need to hear—”

“But the friends with benefits didn’t feel like enough for me. What I’m trying to say is, I’m in a real relationship with someone.”

Oh God. I so don’t want to deal with this. I want my mother to be happy, but I don’t want to know how happy, because ewww.

“That’s good, Mom,” I manage to force out. “I’m glad for you.”

“Don’t you want to know who it is?”

No. No, I don’t. “I guess I should know, since I’ll probably meet him sometime.”

She laughs. “You’ve already met him.” She pauses, and her voice turns softer. “It’s your father.”

Wait. WHAT. WHAAAT? Could this be? “Are you...serious?”

“Of course I’m serious, honey. I would never joke about something like that. I realized that I never stopped loving your father. He is such a wonderful man, and he was so unselfish to give me the space I asked for. But in that space, I learned that I didn’t want it. I wanted him. He is all I want. That’s the simple truth, and my reality.”

Lucy pads silently into the kitchen with her tail up, and I sink into a chair with tears coming out of nowhere, dripping onto the table. I don’t want my mother to know I’m crying, but mothers know everything.

“I hope those are happy tears, sweetheart.”

“They are, Mom,” I say, sniffing them up. I feel like I’ve been given the most amazing gift.

We chat for a little while longer. She tells me they’re planning on remarrying, probably in the fall, and that Dad still needs to get ahold of Wilder to share the news, so to please not say anything yet. We exchange I love you’s, and I end the call feeling a palette of emotions: joy, disbelief, love, gratitude, peace.

And I thought getting a cat was the big news of the day.

* * * *

I’m not seeing Damon tonight since I’m going to Maddie for a girls’ night. I’ve been looking forward to it, but there’s an achy part of me that wishes I was seeing the Payor. Haven’t associated him with that nickname in a while. As weird as it sounds, I wish I could share the happiness I feel about my parents getting back together with him.

Amanda, Jordan (Maddie’s work friend) and I arrive at the same time. Maddie calls to us from the deck, and we head around the back. She’s at the grill wearing oven mitts and an apron, turning over chicken breasts with tongs. There are baked potatoes wrapped in foil on the grill, a colorful salad and rolls on the table. Everything smells so good, mingling with the salty ocean air. I feel guilty for not bringing anything this time, but Mads said absolutely not because of all the baking I’ve been doing.

Maddie piles the chicken and bakers on two plates, and we all sit down at the table. Jordan mixes up a Shandy for each of us—equal parts lemonade and beer. It is a perfect June night with fortunately very few black flies. Maddie realizes she forgot the butter for the potatoes and goes into the house to get it, coming out still wearing her oven mitts.

And then, I know.

“Gonna take those mitts off, girlfriend?” Amanda is grinning in puzzled amusement.

“Why yes, I am.” Maddie smiles back, removing them, and we all go crazy...because there is the most beautiful ring on her finger—a big, round diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds in an elegant, antique-looking setting.

“Oh my gawwwd, Madeline!” Jordan is squealing.

Amanda’s brown eyes are huge. “Holy shit...that sparkler is fucking gorgeous, sweets. I really want to hate you right now because it’s so huge and beautiful, but I just can’t bring myself to do it because you’re so goddamned happy. And actually I am, too.”

Madeline is laughing and glowing as she puts up with us grabbing her hand and getting a closer look at the ring. I feel like my heart is going to explode. She looks so blissful, so beautiful, so right...knowing that my best friend is getting the happy ending she deserves with her absolutely perfect match brings grateful tears to my eyes for the second time today.

We take turns giving her hugs, and then second hugs.

“Jack did a great job,” I tell her. “That ring is seriously amazing. And where is your fiancé, anyway?”

Maddie blushes at the label. “My fiancé is in Portland having dinner with his father. He was going to tell him about our engagement tonight.”

“I can’t wait to congratulate him. How did he propose?”

“Yes, tell us the whole story,” Jordan says, clasping her hands to her chest. “I love hearing engagement stories.”

Madeline sighs, her eyes dewy and sparkling. “Ohh, it was romantic. And honestly, perfect. Let’s sit down and eat, and I’ll tell you about it.”

We peel the foil from our baked potatoes and cut them open to cool a bit, looking at Maddie with rapt attention.

“A few nights ago on my birthday, Jack set up a little scavenger hunt for me outside, with the clues on index cards tucked under rocks. We were down by the water, and the last thing I come to is a cairn. Cairns are our thing—I think I told you guys that he had made a bunch of them for me the night he told me he loved me.”

“We’re not even to the end, and already I love this,” Jordan sighs.

“There’s a note on top of the cairn, and I open it up, and it says, Cairns represent connections—and I want to connect with you officially. I turn around, and there’s Jack on his knee in the sand, holding out a ring box.” Beaming, she holds up her left hand and wiggles her fingers. “So we’re officially connected.”

“Ohh, Mads! What a sweet proposal. Couldn’t love it more.” I get up from the table to put my arms around her again. “Have you two picked a date yet?”

She squeezes my arm. “We’re talking about that.”

We eat, and Maddie’s next door neighbor Kelly comes over, squealing when she hears the big news.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here earlier,” she says, sighing. “Mia’s been going through separation anxiety from Mommy, so I waited till she was asleep to leave.” Her gaze falls on Amanda. “Hey. You look different. Good different,” she adds hastily. “Have you lost weight?”

Amanda drains the rest of her lemonade beer. “Are you saying I was fat before?”

“You know you weren’t, you beeyotch! I’m just saying you look like you’ve been working out.”

“I have, actually,” Amanda says, looking sheepishly proud. “Thanks for noticing.”

“Kelly’s right,” Jordan says, leaning across the table and narrowing her eyes. “You do look different. You said earlier you were happy. You haven’t been as bitchy tonight, and that’s so unlike you. No offense.”

“None taken. And I guess, thanks.”

“Oh my God.” I point my finger at her. “You met someone, didn’t you?”

She shrugs, but she won’t look at me, and her neck’s starting to turn red. “Maybe.”

“Ooooh, there are feelings involved!” Kelly scoots her chair closer to Amanda. “That’s why you weren’t telling us right away! This is so exciting.”

Amanda is trying to maintain her stony expression, but her lips have other ideas. “I don’t know what you bitches are getting all excited about. Can’t a girl be with another girl in this day and age without everyone losing their shit over it?”

“Nice try,” I chide her. “This is major news only because this is the first time you’ve acted like you’ve found someone special.”

Amanda smoothly diverts attention from herself. “Speaking of someone special, Lane—how’s your guy?”

“I see what you just did there.” Making a face at her, I give the same response I gave my mother on the phone, with the same twisty-stomach feeling when I say it. “He’s good.” Then I change topics as deftly as I can by telling them about my parents getting back together, and after sharing that, all of us are basking and believing in the possibility of true love. Including me.

I tell them about my getting Lucy, and afterwards, Amanda stands up with her plate. “As much as I’d love to hear more about your pussy, Laney, I’ve got to go.”

“Meeting someone?” I can’t resist teasing her.

“If you must know...maybe.” She grins.

Maddie chimes in. “When do we get to meet her, Manda?”

“Not sure. We’ve kind of been keeping it under wraps, just while we’re getting to know each other.” Her smile widens. “But hopefully you’ll meet her soon.”

We finish up with cheesecake, and I’m getting ready to leave along with Kelly and Jordan when Maddie whispers in my ear. “Can you stay for a bit? I want to talk to you about something.”

“Sure.” She’s got me curious. After the other two leave, she makes a pot of decaf, and we sit down at her kitchen table. Murphy is brushing against my legs, sniffing—probably smelling Lucy.

“So what’s up, Mads?”

She stirs cream into her coffee, smiling down into the mug. “I wanted to tell you that we actually do have a wedding date in mind.”

“Oh! That’s great. When?”

“I don’t want anyone else to know just yet. But it’s soon.” There is color in her cheeks. “Like August.”

“Wow—August! That is soon.”

“It is, but we just didn’t want to wait any longer to take this step.”

“I can understand that. I mean, you’re totally in love, so why wait?”

“Yes. And also because...we just found out that we’re pregnant.”

Madeline’s eyes are shining. I sit there for a second, stunned, letting the realization of what she just said sink in and become utter joy. I jump up to hug and hug her, and then we’re both laughing and crying.

“How far along are you?”

“Just six weeks. That’s why I want to wait a little longer before spreading the news. But I couldn’t wait to tell my BFF.”

“I’m so glad you told me. Jack must be so excited.”

“He’s ecstatic. We weren’t planning on it this soon, but...” She pats her belly. “This little baby decided it was the right time.”

“Oh, Maddie. Oh, Mads! My God, a baby!” I start to cry.

Madeline does, too, laughing through her tears. “Laney, I’m supposed to be the one with the hormones!”

“Sorry—I can’t help it. I’m just so, so thrilled for you.”

“Thank you. I’m so happy, Lane. Those words sound so simple compared to all that’s going on inside me. I’m elated and over the moon, but content and grounded at the same time. It’s an indescribably wonderful feeling.” She pauses, her eyes soft and tender. “I want that feeling for you, too.”

I fight back a deluge of fresh tears. And then, suddenly, I decide I want her to know everything.

I tell her about the contract I have with Damon, and how he was my money source for the building, and she just listens very quietly and sympathetically without being even the slightest bit judge-y. I love her for that.

“So I guess that cancels out my not telling you about playing matchmaker?” She smiles.

“Definitely. And Confession #2—this is even bigger, because I haven’t even wanted to tell myself. I’m not faking it with him anymore. I have...I have feelings for him.”

And there it is, right out on Madeline Callaway’s kitchen table, with Murphy and her unborn baby as witnesses.

I have feelings for Damon Cavanaugh.

Maddie covers her hands with mine. I look down at her beautiful ring and feel like crying again.  “Sweetie,” she says gently, “don’t you think there’s someone else you should tell about this?”

“I don’t know if I can. Or if I even should. I’ve been trying to stifle what I feel and hope it just fades.”

She grins. “And how’s that going for you?”

“Not good. But I feel like that’s what I need to do.”

“Why is that?”

“His mother can’t stand me, and she is incredibly powerful—she’s the CEO of Cavanaugh Yacht, and she has this major hold over Damon. Gloria’s made it clear she doesn’t want me to be with her son, and I’m afraid of what she might do to him if I am.”

“What if he doesn’t care?”

“Even if he doesn’t, I don’t want to be responsible for unleashing Gloria’s wrath. It wouldn’t be fair to him.”

“Is his mother the only thing that’s standing in your way?”

I sigh. She knows me too well. “No. I guess I’m standing in my own way, a little. I feel like I may be out of his league—he’s grown up in a totally different world and has had a different lifestyle than I have.”

“I had concerns and reservations, too, Laney—with Jack. But I decided he was worth the risk. From what I’ve witnessed, Damon is worth the risk, too. It’s obvious he’s crazy about you. And maybe you should let him decide what’s fair or not fair, instead of you making the decision for him. Maybe the unfair thing here would be to walk away.”

On the drive home, my mind is a torrent of thoughts, like leaves swirling in a gust of wind. I think of my parents’ reconciliation, of Maddie’s engagement and pregnancy, of my uncertain future and Maddie’s advice. I don’t know how a heart can feel so full and ache at the same time, but that’s what mine is doing.

Maybe the unfair thing here would be to walk away.

This time, I hear those words in my voice.