1
Jen Huntley sat on the edge of her neatly made bed and gazed out the window with both excitement and trepidation. Well, it wasn’t technically her bed. It was Healing Hearts Recovery Center’s bed. But it had been hers for the past ninety days. She’d slept in it, sweated in it, writhed in it, and moaned in it.
And not in a good way.
Detoxing from drug and alcohol addiction was like living and dying at the same time. It was all about hating. Hating yourself for being too weak to resist temptation. Hating the substances for having so much control over you. Hating the world because you continually failed it. And, of course, the vomiting, dry heaving, and uncontrollable shaking was the cherry on top.
So, yeah, perhaps it was her bed, after all. Part of her would always remain in it. It was a part of her she hoped to leave behind for good.
Sighing, she stood and hefted her duffel’s strap onto her shoulder. It had been a long, terrible, beautiful, exhausting journey, but it was time to go.
The rest of her life waited for her.
And, like every other woman who’d walked out of Healing Hearts at the end of their stay, she prayed it would be the last time.
She took one final look at the vintage-chic furnishings. Healing Hearts wasn’t the biggest in Columbus, but it was one of the nicest. And she’d been in enough to know the difference. Whereas others had a more clinical, hospital-like feel, Healing Hearts felt like a home. From its meticulously restored crown moldings to its cozy, eclectic décor, it made you want to curl up in front of the fireplace with a hand-knitted throw and a good, long book. After you snorted a line of coke, but still . . .
Chiding herself, she left the room and didn’t look back.
She’d already said goodbye to the rest of the women. Her sisters in arms. There had been hugs, tears, and laughs, and they’d promised to stay in touch. Maybe get together for a coffee sometime. Something they all knew would never happen. Oh, they had the best intentions. Herself included. But leaving the protective bubble of the facility was scary, and if you wanted to stay clean, you avoided anything and everything that provided temptation. And, while she’d very much love to see her newfound friends again someday, they would only remind her of things she was desperately trying to forget. It was why the goodbyes were so bittersweet. With any luck, she’d never see any of the women again.
And it would be a good thing.
Brittany looked up as Jen approached the receptionist’s desk, and even her smile was a teary one. “Time to go?”
Jen dropped her duffel on the floor and leaned an elbow on the desk, grinning at her. “Yep. You’re finally getting rid of me.”
Brittany laughed and shook her head. “You’re a real piece of work, Huntley.”
“What can I say?” Jen grabbed a handful of mints from the crystal bowl on Brittany’s desk. “It’s a gift and a curse.”
Brittany’s smile turned sad. “I’m going to miss you.”
Emotion tightened Jen’s throat. Healing Hearts wasn’t the best just because of the stellar accommodations. The staff were the kindest, most patient folks she’d ever met. Even her hard-nosed counselor, Janet, loved her job, and it made all the difference. She genuinely cared about the women she guided. Janet’s no-holds-barred real talk had been hard for Jen to hear, but she’d come away stronger because of it. Because of the whole experience. From the kumbaya group meetings to the yoga sessions with Ladybird Sweetwater—something Jen had originally scoffed at but eventually grew to love—she felt as if, this time, she might have a chance. And that meant the world to her.
Jen popped a mint into her mouth. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
Laughing, Brittany slid a stack of papers across the desk, slapping a pen on top. “Start signing.”
“Want a kidney, too?” Jen asked dryly, grabbing the pen and starting on the release forms.
“Just your John Hancock and your firstborn will do,” Brittany said, picking up the phone and dialing.
Jen’s hand froze mid-signature. Brittany had no way of knowing the soul-squeezing pain her words would cause, but damn, they hurt. Even after all these years, thinking of her firstborn—or unborn as it turned out—made Jen weak in the knees. Her first instinct was to find a bar and get a drink, but the weight of the newly earned ninety-days-clean sobriety coin in her pocket reminded her that her future was worth more than a temporary balm. “You got it,” she said instead and continued signing.
Brittany winked at her and then spoke into the phone. “Hey, Denise. Can I get a checkout check on Huntley’s room, please? Thanks.” She hung up and watched Jen scribble on the forms. “So, have you met your sponsor yet?”
Jen flipped a page and scanned until she found the signature line. “Nope. I just hope she’s less drill-sergeanty than Janet.”
Brittany laughed but said, “No, you don’t.”
Sighing, Jen scrawled her name for the final time and slid the stack back to Brittany. “I suppose you’re right.”
Jen’s discharge paperwork had named her sponsor as Ashley Danvers, and going by Janet’s high opinion of the woman, Jen had already decided that Ashley was a bitch. If anyone can keep you in line, Huntley, it’ll be Ashley, Janet had said. Whether that was a good thing remained to be seen. A bitch’s guidance might be just what Jen needed to stay on the straight and narrow. And she could joke all she wanted, but at the end of the day, she’d do whatever it took to get her life back. If that meant putting up with a whip-cracking biotch, then so be it.
“Where will you be working?” Brittany asked while typing.
“Wayne gave me a job at his clinic,” Jen said, beyond grateful for his offer. She didn’t know the first thing about working in a veterinarian’s clinic, but she was willing to learn. And the fact that Wayne, her best friend’s fiancé, trusted her enough to hire her meant a helluva lot. Amy’s and his support, in general, meant a helluva lot. In fact, Jen didn’t know where she’d be without them. Probably lying in a ditch somewhere, strung out and used up. Or worse.
Brittany’s expression was one of pure infatuation, and she gushed, “Isn’t he just the sweetest?”
Jen held back a smile. Brittany had been crushing on Wayne from the moment she saw him. And, while she was a cute, nice girl, Wayne only had eyes for Amy. Even when the two had been separated. Six years ago, Amy had happened upon Wayne helping Jen at her lowest, dirtiest point, and Amy had jumped to the worst possible conclusion. She had cut ties with both Jen and Wayne, and it had devastated everyone involved. But Wayne had never stopped pining for Amy. When he’d visit Jen at the center, they’d often talk about how much they both missed her. How much they wished she’d give them a second chance.
And then, one day, she did.
Jen still couldn’t believe that things were finally as they should be. She had her best friend back, and Wayne was reunited with the love of his life.
Much to Brittany’s adorable disappointment.
“Amy sure thinks so,” Jen told her. She knew Brittany wouldn’t dream of trying to steal Wayne away. It wasn’t in her nature. Still, it was Jen’s duty as Amy’s BFF to make sure. “Did I mention they’re getting married in October?”
“Yeah,” Brittany said with a good-natured groan. “Why are the good ones always taken?”
“Want my advice?” Jen asked. “Stick with a battery-operated boyfriend. They’ll never let you down.”
Brittany’s face turned bright red, and she giggled, covering her mouth. “You’re so bad.”
Jen winked at her. “And if it’s commitment you’re after, go with a corded.”
Brittany shook her head and picked up the phone when it beeped. “Front desk,” she answered. After a moment of listening, she said, “Okay. Thanks, Denise.” Hanging up, Brittany stood, smiling at Jen. “Room check is clear.”
“I thought about taking my razor knife to the wallpaper, but I decided against it.”
Chuckling, Brittany came around the desk and linked elbows with her. “I have to walk you out.”
Jen grabbed her duffel off the floor as they went. “I know. Been around the block a few times, Britt.”
Brittany squeezed their joined arms. “Let’s make it the last, shall we?”
Sliding her sunglasses off the top of her head and settling them over her eyes, Jen smiled as they stepped out into the July sunshine. “Lord willing and the creeks of coke don’t rise.”