Chapter 5
Ainsley
Ugh. I knew that he was going to be here, but had hoped he would have been tucked away in his room making some important phone call, and wouldn’t have to see his handsomely smug face.
But I was out of luck.
He was outside, directly in my path.
Son of a gun.
I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel and wondered if I could just drop the flowers on the curb. Hank wouldn’t appreciate it, though.
“Just grab the flowers, walk past him, and drop them off,” I pep-talked myself out loud. Oh hell, who was I kidding? There wasn’t a way in hell that I was going to be able to make it past him without talking to him.
Last night, I went to bed telling myself that I wasn’t going to see him again. Reminding myself the man meant absolutely nothing to me. Then, my own mind had betrayed me, and not shortly after that, so had my body.
I dreamt of him.
A good dream.
Okay, okay. A freakin’ hot dream that left me wanting him so bad, I had to pull out my little toy to finish me off while I remembered the feel of him pressed against me.
My face heated at the wicked hot dream, and I fanned myself with my hand. “Not the time to be thinking about this, Ainsley,” I muttered.
So, Silas was still sexy as hell, but that didn’t change the fact he had left and didn’t return until over eight years later.
“Hey.”
My hand hit the horn, and I jumped, hitting my head on the ceiling. I rubbed my head and rolled down my window. “Uh, hi.”
“You need help or something?”
I shook my head and turned off the van. “Um, no. I was just double checking that I had everything I needed.”
“That takes you ten minutes?” Silas asked.
Jesus, had I really sat in the driveway for ten minutes? “You know, just making sure.”
“I thought maybe you were on the phone since it looked like you were talking to someone.”
My face heated knowing Silas had caught me talking to myself. “Uh, no. I tend to, you know, talk out loud to make sure I have everything.” Like an idiot.
A smile spread across his lips, and he pulled my door open. “Well, as long as you have everything, I can help you unload. It’ll help me out of unraveling the ball of lights Dad left for me to hang on the pillars.”
I looked up at the house. “It needs more lights? At night, it’s almost blinding when you drive by.”
“Trying sleeping with lights glowing into your room. It’s a miracle I got any sleep at all.”
I grabbed my clipboard off the passenger seat and stepped out of the van. “Sounds like your parents need to invest in some better curtains.” I stood in front of Silas and got lost in his green eyes.
Were they always that green? All the memories I had of Silas had somewhat dulled and blurred over time. Seeing him now, up close, was a shock to all of my memories.
“Eh, once I finally fell asleep, it was fine.”
I shook my head slightly. “Huh?” What were we talking about?
“Curtains. I’ll survive without them.”
I snapped my fingers and smiled. “Of course.” Jesus. Deliver the flowers, and get the hell out of here before I made an even bigger fool of myself. My feet were glued to the ground, and I couldn’t seem to move past Silas.
He hitched his thumb over his shoulder. “So, are the flowers in the back?”
“Yes.”
He cleared his throat. “Uh, did you need help, or do I have to go back to the world’s largest ball of lights?”
“Oh, duh,” I mumbled. “Yes, I could use the help. I need to actually get back to the store quickly so I don’t miss the delivery truck with the last of Melonie’s flowers for tomorrow.”
Silas opened the back of the van, and I couldn’t help but catch his look of disdain. “Jesus. I’ve never seen so much red and green in one place before.”
I laughed and grabbed one of the potted pine trees that were decorated with red bows. “Once all the silver colored items come in, it’ll help cut through all of the red and green.”
“I’m gonna have to take your word on that one.” Silas grabbed two more of the potted trees and followed me into the house.
“Oh, come on, you can’t hate Christmas that much. It lasts for such a short time, you need to embrace it as much as you can.” I set the small trees inside the entryway and looked up at Silas. “I’m going to have to call you Scrooge.”
“Bah Humbug,” he muttered with a smile on his face. “I don’t mind Christmas, I just don’t know why it needs to be shoved down everyone's throat with green and red everywhere.”
“I can get that. I’m more of an ice blue and silver girl when it comes to decorating, but this is Melonie’s wedding, and this is what she wanted.”
Silas set down the trees and shrugged. “I guess you can’t argue with the bride, can you?”
“No, you can’t, Scrooge. Now help me with the rest, so I can get back to the shop so I don’t miss the delivery truck.”
We trudged back to the van, and Silas grabbed three more plants and a bouquet. “I don’t know why you need any more. You have the whole back of this van packed full.”
“Most of what I’m waiting on is the flowers for the arch and the boutonnieres for the guys.”
Silas helped me unload the rest of the van and slammed the back shut. “Well, I’ll be here when you come back with your next haul. Those damn lights are more than likely going to be the death of me.”
I laughed and hopped into the van. “I would just go buy some more from the hardware store before they close. I don’t think I have the patience to unravel that big ol’ ball.”
He closed my door and leaned into the window. “That doesn’t sound very festive to me,” he chuckled.
“There’s festive, and there is keeping your sanity.”
“You always did seem to know how to balance the two.”
I tilted my head to the side. “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.”
“Trust me, it is, Lee.”
My breath caught, and I was transported back to a time where I was his Lee, and this man was the only thing I could see. A time where, even though I knew he wanted to leave, I still loved him. “Please, don’t,” I whispered. One word from his lips made me wish for more time to be his Lee.
“I’m sorry, Lee.” He stepped back from the van and shoved his hands in his pockets.
I stabbed the key into the ignition, needing to get away from him before I did something stupid like telling him I regretted not chasing after him or even telling him I still loved him.
“Jesus Christ, Ainsley,” I mumbled under my breath. I backed out of the driveway, making sure not to make eye contact with Silas, and headed back to the shop.
I was a fool who was apparently a glutton for punishment, because I still loved a man who didn’t want anything to do with me or my dreams.
*