Chapter Twenty-Six

Brenna

Clearing my throat, I stepped forward. Rhett and Ernie both stared at me with wide eyes. Ernie’s face dripped beer, and a stale, yeasty smell invaded my nostrils. Yuck.

“Hey, Brenna,” Rhett said, looking sheepish. As if he hadn’t just thrown down on his best friend in my honor. “You want a drink?”

I shook my head. “No. I thought I might find you here after the game so I stopped by on a lark. Um, how about a walk?”

Rhett nodded. He pulled his wallet from his jeans and tossed two twenty-dollar bills on the bar. Rhett stared at Ernie for a few seconds, the air between them so tense I expected a fist fight to break out any second. But finally, Ernie clapped Rhett on the shoulder.

“You’re right, man,” Ernie said. “Point taken. We’ll talk it out after you and Brenna have your walk. How about tomorrow, after game two?”

Rhett nodded. He walked over to me, then jerked his head toward the door. “Come on.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I followed him out of Dugout, and onto the bright, sunny street.

“Thank you,” I whispered, staring up at him while trying to gauge his expression. As usual, he gave nothing away.

“For what?” Rhett snorted. “Trust me – if I were you, I wouldn’t be thanking me for shit. I’d be hiring an attorney.”

I took a deep breath and forged ahead. If this was our last conversation, I needed to get out all the words I’d been thinking about for days. “Well, for one, I have a feeling that I owe you my job. If you hadn’t talked to Nina…well, I don’t know what she would have done. Fired me, I guess. End of journalism career.”

Rhett nodded. “And that worked out?”

“Yep,” I said. “She fired Riley instead.”

Rhett nodded. “Good. She deserved it. I can’t imagine a colder, more manipulative woman. And I’ve known a lot of women.”

“She did deserve it. I pride myself on being fair, but I just can’t forgive her. Not yet. Someday.”

The air between us was awkward and tense as we walked down the street. The post-game traffic had all but cleared, and for a moment, it almost felt like being somewhere much calmer than New York City.

“And thank you for what you said in there,” I added, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I really appreciate it.”

“Where?”

“To Ernie,” I said. “I heard everything.”

Rhett sighed. “Yeah. Well, that was a long time coming, too. Ernie had his heart shattered back in the day. He made a habit of drinking and fucking it out of his system. But it became his normal behavior, and I was more than happy to jump on the bandwagon. But now? Now…it all seems so trite and meaningless.”

We walked on in silence. After a few seconds, I coughed. “You know – about that drink. I think I could use one after all.”

Rhett nodded. He steered me down the street and into a trendy bar. “I used to come here after games by myself. It’s been a long time.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

Rhett ordered two gin and tonics, and we clinked glasses quietly.

“What should we toast to?”

I sighed. “Rhett, I don’t know.” I took a sip of my drink. “I really don’t know right now. I guess I don’t feel like toasting.”

Rhett nodded. “Look, Brenna–”

“No. Let me go first. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I need to say some things.”

Rhett looked surprised but nodded. “Okay.” He swallowed hard. “Fire away.”

“I…I don’t really know that I’m ready to move past the whole ‘let me trick her into fucking me because she doesn’t remember she hates me because I hit her over the head with a baseball thing,’ you know? But…” I sighed heavily. This wasn’t going well. I was rambling when I just wanted to articulate my feelings so that he’d understand me.

I wanted him to see me.

“But?” Rhett prompted. “What were you going to say?”

I shrugged. “But I’m not sure.” I winced. “I’m…not very good at talking about feelings, Rhett. And I can’t help but feel like you and Riley really betrayed me. I have no problem believing her intentions were malicious but yours? They seemed like they were just ignorant. And that doesn’t fly in a real relationship.”

“I know what I did was ignorant,” Rhett admitted. He frowned, looking very unhappy. Was he really unhappy because of our broken relationship? “But Brenna, please. Trust me, give me a chance. Move on from this with me? No matter how it happened, there’s something between us. And that something can’t be denied. It needs to be explored.”

Tears came to my eyes, and I nodded. “I want to,” I said honestly. “But it doesn’t come that easily, Rhett. It’s not like I can just wake up tomorrow morning and flick the switch back on in my head. And I’m still having some memory problems too. Not everything has come back yet. A lot of it has, but not all. And that makes me doubt myself.”

“So, what do you want?”

I bit my lip. “I don’t know. Obviously, I want to move past this and forgive you, but I know it will take some time. You’re the king of impatient indulgence. Can you really mature overnight and go at the speed I would need to feel safe?”

Rhett nodded. “I get that. And I’ll give you space. However slow you want to go, I’ll go. Shit, I’ll go in reverse if I have to. Whatever you want, you’ve got it.”

I nodded. We sipped our drinks in silence, and I closed my eyes, listening to the drone of the television in the background. Confusing emotions swirled around in my brain and body. Part of me wanted to throw myself into Rhett’s arms, to kiss him and wrap my arms around him, taking that necessary hit off the drug that was Rhett Bradshaw. Another part of me wanted to slap him and tell him to get lost. And yet, another part of me wavered. This part of me felt like the voice of my higher self, telling me that I had to give myself time to process…and then pull up my big girl panties and move on because the rest of the world sure as hell wasn’t going to wait for me.

“What are you thinking?” Rhett asked quietly. “That you want me to leave, right? You’re changing your mind?”

I shook my head. “Listen, Rhett. I don’t think I’m ready to forgive you and move on right now. But I think I will be, in time.”

“That’s good,” Rhett said, relief flooding his face. “That’s a start.”

“And I’m at least ready to give you what you supposedly wanted, you know, after my concussion. The chance to get to know each other without any kind of prejudice.”

Rhett nodded.

“But I have a few conditions,” I said, blushing as I thought of the way I’d thrown myself at him and fucked him for my own pleasure, using him like some kind of human dildo. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so bossy.”

Rhett dipped his head and snickered. “I defer to you, Boss Lady. Boss away.”

I bit my lip. “No more calling me sweetheart, okay? I know it’s the term you always used so you wouldn’t screw up women’s names. I want to be called Brenna or else I’ll think you don’t remember who I am.”

Rhett frowned. “Why? What’s the big deal? You are my sweetheart.”

I gave him a look. “Because it bothers me,” I said calmly. I took a long sip of my gin and tonic. “Because I’m a woman, and because I’ve worked hard to get where I am. And I don’t care what you do with the guys after a game – but if I get one whiff of you acting like a cad, that’s it. We’re done.” I licked my lips. “I respect myself too much to get involved with someone who doesn’t respect women. More importantly, who doesn’t respect me or my feelings.”

“Don’t fuck anyone else. Don’t even look at another woman unless I have mirrored sunglasses on. Got it.”

“Rhett!”

“Okay!” Rhett said with a snicker and that lopsided grin of his. “Don’t piss off other women. That better?”

I nodded smugly and took a sip of my cocktail. “Yes. Much.”

I stared at Rhett’s face, taking in every inch of his blue eyes and tanned skin. I wondered if I was going to regret my decision to move forward with him. I wondered if he was going to hurt me again. No risk, no reward.

I reached down and laced my fingers through his. “I don’t want to regret this,” I whispered. “I…I feel very vulnerable around you.”

Rhett nodded, no trace of humor remaining in his expressive eyes. “I know. I promise to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I want to be different and that I’m worthy of your trust. Don’t worry, Brenna. I’ve never fucked up a second chance.”

We finished the rest of our cocktails. “Want another?” I asked. “That was good.”

Rhett grinned. “I have a better idea. Come with me.” He left some cash on the bar, then took my hand and led me back into the sunlight. The sun dipped just below the horizon, and I could practically feel the heat radiating from the sidewalks as Rhett led me toward Yankee Stadium.

“You better not be going back to finish the job,” I said. “I don’t think I could handle that.”

Rhett snickered. “Nope. Didn’t even cross my mind. Come on, this way.” He jerked his head to the side, flashed his credentials to the smiling security guard and led me in through the athlete entrance.

I took a deep breath, admiring the way the orange and pink sunlight dappled the stadium. It was a beautiful, peaceful place – it almost seemed like a different world from the place where I’d taken a wayward sinker to the head.

“Come with me,” Rhett said. He started jogging toward the pitcher’s mound. Intrigued, I followed him.

“What are we doing?”

Rhett chuckled. “Stand here.” He pulled me close, then stood behind me. “And give me your hand.”

I laughed, my nerves overwhelming me. What in the hell was he up to? “What, you’re training me to be the next Yankees pitcher? I’m afraid my weak arm will be my downfall. I couldn’t even make it to home plate if they asked me to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.”

Rhett laughed. “No. Come on, Brenna. Just trust me.”

I took a deep breath, then closed my eyes. Rhett stood close behind me, resting his left hand on my shoulder. He took my right hand with his own.

“You ready to pitch?”

I narrowed my eyes and turned around, staring at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m showing you where all my pitches go,” Rhett whispered in my ear. A sensual shiver traveled down my arm to where he held his hand in mine. “After today, you’ll know all my secrets. And I trust you to keep them safe. Trust between us has to start somewhere, and the buck stops with me.”

I blushed under the weight of that gift. I knew how much opening up had cost him. “Thank you.”

Rhett raised an eyebrow. “Come on. Spin back around.”

Rhett and I stood on the mound together for over an hour. He showed me where all of his pitches went – the curve balls, the fastballs, the sinkers – everything. Then he quizzed me, making sure I understood. I soaked up the depth of his knowledge as I enjoyed the easy banter of our exchange. With Rhett removing the mask of his persona and being completely himself, I discovered that I liked him. A lot.

“You’re a pro,” Rhett said with a wink. “Hell, I figure you know enough about baseball to be a sports journalist now. For the Yankees.”

I rolled my eyes. “Very funny,” I said, remembering how close I’d just come to losing it all. “Nina’s giving me a month off. She wants me to take some time and clear my head. I have a feeling that means doing a lot of reading old Sport Taste issues. Most of my memories are back, but I want to strive for everything.”

Rhett nodded. “Yeah, I can see that about you.” He looked sad for a moment. “Brenna Sinclair, ever the perfectionist. Where are you thinking of going?”

“God, I haven’t even thought about it.” I closed my eyes. “I want to see my parents for a few days then maybe a beach destination, someplace tropical. Just someplace where I can relax and think until I remember everything I need to know in order to raise my game.”

“Want company?” Rhett raised an eyebrow. “I’d risk the wrath of Don and enormous fines to get away for a couple of days.”

“You know, I really appreciate the offer, Rhett. But I have a feeling I’m going to have to do this on my own.”

Rhett nodded. “I get it.”

“I’ll miss you,” I admitted. And I meant it. “But I think this is coming at a good time. You know, some me time. I haven’t had that in ages.”

Rhett nodded again. “I’m glad you’re giving me another chance, Brenna.” He sighed. “I know I don’t deserve one, but I swear I’ll work my ass off if it means making you see the real Rhett Bradshaw. And you know what? Even I am excited to get to know him.”

In that moment, I knew he meant it. The sun had disappeared, casting the field in a dim light, highlighting the vivid color in Rhett’s sapphire eyes. His lips were curved in a small smile. As he squeezed my hand, I burst out laughing.

“What?” Rhett asked. “What’s up?”

My giggles turned into laughter and soon I was doubled over. My gut ached, and tears came to my eyes as I laughed – I could barely breathe, I was practically gasping for air.

“Brenna, what’s wrong?” Rhett asked, a note of panic creeping into his voice. “What the hell is happening?”

“I can’t stop thinking about your parents,” I gasped, covering my mouth as tears streamed down my face. “And how pissed off your mom is going to be when she realizes that we’re still dating!”

Rhett burst out laughing too. His blue eyes crinkled up, and he doubled over. The sight of him just egged me on, and soon, we were both laying on our backs in the lush grass beside the mound, shaking with mirth.

“I don’t care about what she says,” Rhett said, grinning and pulling me close. “Trust me, she’ll get over it. I’ll explain everything to her. I promise she’ll always be a little prejudiced where I’m concerned, but she’ll come to accept it.”

“I somehow doubt that, considering she couldn’t even remember my name.”

“Yeah,” he said, teasing me. “Well, I might not even remember your name, sweetheart.”

Our laughter faded as Rhett pulled me close. He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned down, gently pressing his lips to mine. As we kissed, I forgot all of my worries and let everything melt away.

When Rhett pulled away, his face turned serious once more. “I’m serious, Brenna. I care about you, and I promise to make this right.”

I nodded. “I know,” I whispered. “I believe you.”