My fingers tapped the sheet of paper while I anticipated turning it over. Paxton didn’t say a word, which made it even worse. He stared at me, awaiting my reaction. One more sip from my drink and I flipped the first page, the one from the hospital in Del Mar California. That was a lie. I didn’t remember anyone telling me that Izzy and I were born on a beautiful island in Brazil, but I knew I had been fed that by my mother. I could even picture Izzy and I, sitting Indian style while she told the untruth, engrossed in every word she said.

“I bet I was never in Brazil,” I snorted while reading the hospital report from the very place I’d been born in. California.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I said as my eyes scanned the paper. Possible hernia on baby number two; the report said to have it checked in six weeks. I doubted that happened. We were probably sleeping in a drawer along the interstate by that time.

I continued to flip pages, engaging in a Q and A as I learned information from Paxton’s investigation first. The nice gentleman that he was placed them in the order he wanted me to learn first.

“Don’t say nothing, Gabriella. I need to know what the fuck is going on here. You need to talk to me,” Paxton said while ensuring my intentions.

“It doesn’t even matter, it’s stupid. My mom, I’m sure she told Izzy and I that we were born in Brazil. I can almost describe it, but I don’t remember why. That’s it. I didn’t know I was born in California.”

Paxton’s eyebrows turned toward the bridge of his nose. “You knew that. We got married, we had to send for your birth certificate, remember?”

I tilted my head and smirked at him with twisted lips, replying with sarcasm. “Funny.”

I didn’t remember that, and truth be known, I didn’t want to. I liked the image of my twin and I coming into the world surrounded by Mother Nature and beauty. I had no problem at all, envisioning being snuggled with my carbon copy, nestled in our mother’s arms. Her beautiful smile held the same beauty as the turquoise water, and I could hear every crashing wave. I preferred to hang on to that story, the one where peace existed; the day that two tiny newborns were brought into this fucked up realm. Hell.

The next page revealed a degree in agriculture and landscaping.

“Explain that one. If you’re not really Izzy, why would you know about trees that attract birds or how to make a fake waterfall?”

I shrugged my shoulders at that one, too. “I married you. You don’t think any of that rubbed off? That I don’t hear you on the phone, ordering concrete or tile, trees and plants? You don’t think I hear you while you tell your guys where to go, what you want done, and why? You go into great detail about how and why you want things. Maybe I’m just not as dumb as you think I am. Maybe I am capable of remembering what you say. You think?”

“Yeah, I mean. I guess that’s possible, but I’m still not convinced. You never gave me your opinion on my business before.”

“I was probably afraid to because you would bite my head off.”

“But now you’re not. Why? See that’s the part that I’m confused about. Gabriella would never tell me where to plant a tree, or laugh at my choices, but Izzy? Now that seems more logical to me.”

“Coincidence? That’s all I got.”

“Sure it is.”

I sipped my drink and continued on my journey through the stack, learning new facts about my life, about Izzy’s life. “She lost her basketball scholarship,” I sadly read aloud.

“That one baffles me a little, too. You’re pretty good at basketball. Did you both play?”

“This really pisses me off. You can’t help me with any of these answers, because you don’t know. You never cared enough about me to find out.”

Paxton stood and ran his fingers through his hair, his newly cut hair. That pissed me off, too. I was in jail, and he was out worrying about his looks.

His frustration with me was as strong as mine was with him. “That’s not supposed to piss you off, Gabriella. We didn’t walk hand in hand and have long talks along the beach.”

“Why not?”

More vexation ran across his face and he growled. “Because that wasn’t us. We didn’t do that, and don’t ask why. What was in the car?”

“What car?”

Another growl. “The Honda. You said you wanted what was inside.”

“Can we stay on one thing for a minute? I told you I would show you the video.”

“What video? Where is it?”

“I have to get Mi to send it to my email. Just wait.”

Paxton picked up my phone and went to my messages. I watched, shaking my head in annoyance. There were no messages, but her number was in there. “This it? This nine, three, one, number?”

“Yes, Paxton. Oh my, God. You’re insane.”

“Keep going. I’ll just send her a nice little message, asking her to email it to you. Do you want me to use the one you’ve always used, or do you have a secret one?”

“Fuck you.”

That stopped him dead in his tracks, causing that rush of adrenaline I hated to surge through my veins. My heart settled when he turned back to my phone with only a look of warning, nothing physical like I expected after seeing that expression. “Don’t, Gabriella. This is bad enough without you adding fuel to the fire.”

Choosing to keep my thoughts to myself, I internally turned the table. Seriously? I was the one tossing gasoline to the flame? Fuck you.

I flipped through two more pages of Paxton’s investigation before getting to Candace’s. Nothing more really, not anything helpful anyway. Izzy checked into rehab three times, and she had a drunk driving charge. Not one word about Vander.

“Those were taken a week before your accident. Why are you going into Lane’s office, and where are my girls while this was all going on? Oh yeah, you don’t remember.”

I didn’t even respond. There was no point. Paxton wore blinders wider than the wings of a seabird. He didn’t hear me, not one word unless it was taken out of context. Paxton gave a whole new meaning to the narcissist’s diagnosis. He held the title, proudly.

The first photo was just what he said, me walking up the steps to Lane’s work. The look on my face showed an uneasiness and my eyes looked focused, scanning the area for anyone who might see me. The next one was in Summit Park where I took the girls sometimes. They loved feeding the ducks their lunch. My hands were in my face like I was crying. Lane’s arms held me to his chest and his lips puckered to my hair.

“My fucking kids are right back there. You see that, Gabriella? You fucking met him where our kids played.”

I hadn’t even noticed that until he pointed it out. Their backs were toward the camera, but sure enough, it was them, both trying to fly cheap kites. Again, I didn’t comment. I flipped to the next photo, shaking my head. It was official, I had an affair with Lane. We were parked outside the grocery store where I shopped; where Candace shopped. Once more, Lane had his arms around me, and my face was buried in his chest. The next one was in public; we were seated at a bistro table outside a little deli that I didn’t recognize. My eyes were concentrated on his finger, pointing to something on a white piece of paper, a golden envelope laying beneath it.

“I know where this is,” I admitted while my eyes stayed on the photo.

“What?” Paxton questioned as he slid into the chair beside me.

“This envelope. I know where it is.”

“Where?”

Tired of all the lies, I really did plan on telling him until my phone rang. The number displayed the only friend I had in the world. Paxton and I both stared at it.

“Answer it,” he ordered as he slid it my way.

“Hey, Mi.”

“Oh my, God. You’re not going to believe this, Gabby.”

“I don’t know if I want to hear it.”

“You do. It’s the answer to all your questions.”

“What do you mean?”

I looked up to Paxton when he took the phone right out of my hand. He hit speaker and placed it between both of us.

“Nick knows. He knows everything because he’s been working with you for over a year.”

“Mi, you’re on speaker phone and Paxton is sitting right here,” I suddenly said for whatever reason. I didn’t even know where it came from. It was like a defense mechanism, instantly taking over my mind and mouth.

“Oh, hey, Paxton.”

“Say it. What do you mean Nick has been working with her?”

Mi sounded nervous when Paxton spoke. “Gotta go, I’ll catch you later, Gabby,” her voice cracked a little and she hung up.

Both our eyes moved from the blinking number to each other’s. Paxton straightened his spine and leaned toward me on his elbows, face showing his anger. “What the fuck, Gabriella? I thought you wanted this. I thought you wanted all the answers. Changing your mind now that you realize you’re nothing more than a lying slut? Is that it?”

My eyes widened as he moved in closer, and once again, something took over, something inside me. I was possessed. Or crazy. Yes, crazy. That had to be it. My lips touched his and my tongue dove into his mouth. Just as shocked about my own actions, Paxton surprised me even more, he kissed me back, devouring my mouth with his. I didn’t even realize we’d come to a standing position until I felt the breeze moving up my dress as it rose with his hands. He walked me backward to the cabana bed and pushed me back.

“I’m on my period,” I reminded him as I crab-crawled backward to the bed, legs parting on their own, while my mind did some sort of confusing dance.

“You’re fucking whacko. That’s what you are. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with you?” I countered with heavy pants, feeling the heated moment rush through my bloodstream, filling me with the poison I was so addicted to. I was whacko. A bat shit crazy lunatic.

Paxton didn’t answer with words that time. He pushed out on my right leg and shoved his hardness into the sudden pulse going on between my legs. That made it even worse, even more fucked up. Evidence displayed on the table about my relationship with Lane, Mi’s new information, the envelope hidden in the tiny closet, none of it mattered at that moment. Not to me and not to Paxton. We kissed while our hands wandered, exploring each other’s bodies as if it were the first time. My hands tugged on his shirt, wanting to feel his chest, and his moved my dress over my breasts. I moaned an incoherent cry when his teeth bit hard on my nipples, sucking and pulling them between his lips.

His hips pressed against my pounding button, and mine reacted, rotating toward the erection behind his jeans. Paxton stopped briefly, moving his body to the side. His finger slid up the satin between my legs while I continued to circle my hips into him, into anything.

“Your panties are wet,” he whispered in the sexiest, raspiest tone I’d ever heard from his lips.

“Make it come,” I begged, desperately, shifting my hips forward.

“I want to spank you.”

“No, I’m on my period,” I complained while trying to shove him back.

“So what? You think we haven’t had sex this time of month before?”

“Um, did we?” I questioned realizing I didn’t remember that.

“Of course we did.”

The next thing I knew, my body was tossed to the position he wanted me in. At his direction, I was rolled to my stomach, pulled to the edge, and handcuffed by his hand, holding mine to my back.

“This is so fucked up,” I audibly admitted as I felt my hands being tied by an unknown object. A nylon belt, maybe. I realized it was a tie back to one of the curtains when the moon disappeared behind the drapes.

“Shhh, don’t talk, baby girl.”

My eyes closed and I again chastised myself. I was weak. So fucking weak. I couldn’t fight this man if my life depended on it. I couldn’t fight it because I didn’t want to. I loved him. Jesus, why did I have to go and do that?

My breath caught when I felt my panties being slid from the crack in my ass, slowly. With the same pace Paxton rubbed both my butt cheeks, and once again, I tried to part my legs for him. I handed over all access with great pleasure. He could have it. I just wanted to come.

I moaned again when I felt a finger slide between my slippery folds, to the pucker of my ass, and back to my cheeks. My wrists pulled against the restraint and I cried out with the first slap, relaxing as his hand massaged away the sting. Painful pleasure enveloped my body with every loud crack, every finger sliding through my slit, and every kiss and suck to my body.

“How many was that, baby?” he questioned, whispering hot words to my spine.

I replied through an erotic moan. “Five.”

“How many more do you think you deserve? Huh? How many, slut?” His fingers pinched hard on my nub kept me from responding to the term. He knew that. That’s why he paid special attention to the area I needed him to focus on.

“Five,” I said as I shoved back toward his fingers. I don’t know why five, that’s just the number that came out, and the number that he gave me. My ass was on fire by the tenth blow, and my need to climax was ridiculous.

Paxton kissed my burning cheeks with soft lips, carefully easing the pain. My eyes opened when I felt him move, leaving my fiery butt to cool with the evening breeze. The sound of his zipper caused the rhythm of my heart to pick up a little with anticipation. I knew where it would be going, and I wanted it. My eyes looked up to his, but immediately dropped to the rod he stroked in his hand. Like a crazed animal, hungry for his flesh, I lunged for it, taking it to the back of my throat with a pleasurable moan. Paxton’s moan matched mine, and he held my head, keeping me from controlling the situation. He hissed, and grunted as he slid in and out of my mouth.

“Slow down. You like it when I fuck your mouth, don’t you, slut?”

Nope, not saying a word.

His hands shoved my shoulder and I rolled more to my back, staying slightly on my side due to the limitations behind my back. My legs once again opened on their own, and Paxton slapped me there. His cock would dive to the back of my throat at the same time the tips of his fingers stung my aching nub. He toyed with me like this for what seemed like an eternity, sliding in and out of my mouth while his fingers did a number on my control.

Once I was to the top, there was no coming back. I would have finished it myself had Paxton denied me. I felt the first peak and slid his rod from my mouth. “Oh, yes. Keep doing that. Right there. Hmmm, yes, yes, right there, baby,” I moaned while he applied rapid slaps to my exploding clitoris. He tried to slide back in my mouth a couple times, but I couldn’t do it. I was about to come, and my clenched jaw refused to let him in.

“Aaah, open your mouth slut,” he moaned while taking over my job, stroking harder.

Of course I did. Nothing turned me on more than watching Paxton jack off. I freaking loved it, and I was right there with him. My lips parted just in time to feel the first wave, mine and his. He grunted while releasing his pleasure at precisely the same time I did. I came harder than I ever had in my life, riding wave after wave until we were both spent. My tense body relaxed as the hardness in my mouth did the same.

“You weren’t supposed to come,” Paxton admitted as he slid out of my mouth and put himself away, commando style. I loved it when he did that, too. Paxton never wore underwear around the house. That too, turned me on to no end, especially behind jeans.

“You call me slut one more time and I’m going to bite it off. Why do you do that? Untie me,” I ordered, all forms of erotic thoughts and senses gone with the orgasm.

Paxton stood and walked away from me. “No, and because you are. The proof is in the pudding. You’re all alike. You’re all sluts who cheat. It’s not your fault you were born with a pussy.”

With the release of stupid dopamine came the rational side of my brain. I cursed myself for letting that happen. Gah. So stupid.

“Untie me, Paxton,” I demanded for the second time.

“No, I’m going to dial your friend back, and you’re going to talk to her. Ask her what she means.”

“No, I’m not.”

Two steps and Paxton was back to me, his fingers digging hard into the back of my jaw. “You are. You’re going to do everything I tell you from this moment on. You got that, Gabriella, or whoever the fuck you are. Do you understand me?”

I jerked my head hard to the right enough to catch him off guard and bring my knees up. I shoved him hard with my legs, sending him backward a few steps. I sat up, pulling against the restraints until one hand was free, and then the other. Paxton lunged toward me again, but I was ready that time. My foot went up, catching him right in the chest, and the look on his face assured me that it hurt.

“What the fuck do you want from me? What the fuck, Gabriella? Fuck you. Fuck you for doing this to us. Fuck you for this whole fucking mess.”

“No, fuck you for this mess, Paxton. Fuck you very much,” I repeated, only my words were soft and innocent, unlike his angry ones. He shoved my foot away from his body and stepped back, fingers running through his hair with a deep breath.

I came to my feet, placing my breasts back behind my dress. “Nothing in there told me I cheated on you. Not one thing.”

The look I got was one of pure unbelieving. “Seriously, Gabriella? Look again,” he ordered with a tight grip to the back of my arm. “See. Look at that. His hands are all over you. Every fucking picture, he’s got his hands on you.”

“Did you confront him, Paxton? Of course you did, but that’s a big secret, right? Something you don’t want me to find out about for whatever reason. What do you know, Paxton? Why don’t we start there? I’ll tell you, and you tell me. You want to play? Huh?” I questioned as my emotions changed yet again, this time to rage. How dare he? Who the hell did he think he was?

“He lied. Just like you, Gabriella. He lied.”

“But you’re not going to tell me what he said, right?”

“You don’t need to know that.”

“Right, I don’t need to know that, but you should know everything I’ve been hiding,” I responded with irritation. This was so fucked up. I didn’t even know what the hell I had kept hidden from him, yet he wanted to know. He wanted answers that I didn’t have, nonetheless he wasn’t willing to share any of his. So messed up.

“Call your friend.”

“No, I’m going back to the cottage, and you can go to hell. I know what time you leave for work. I’ll make sure I’m here.”

Paxton grunted some sort of evil laugh. “You’re not going anywhere.”

I grabbed my phone from the table, and glared daggers at him. My finger swiped the phone and we stared each other down while he waited for me to call Mi. Only I didn’t call Mi. I dialed three numbers; nine-one-one, and then held my finger on the send button. “I’m not your slut, Paxton. I don’t fucking need you. I need those two little girls in there and that’s it.”

“You’re joking. You’ll never take them anywhere. Over my dead body. Give me the phone.”

“No way, and we can keep this going for as long as you want. You can’t keep them from me, and if I have to get outside help to make sure you don’t, I will,” I threatened with my phone pointed right at him, finger on the send button like a trigger, daring him to make a move.

“Oh yeah, you’re good at getting outside help, especially ones with fringe benefits. Sounds like you had more than one, you like Mi’s man, too, huh?”

Nope, wasn’t stooping to that level either. He could be the idiot, and I’d keep my punches above the belt.

“Don’t turn the electric off, I’ll be here by six in the morning.”

“Gabriella, don’t do this. We have to talk about this shit.”

“You don’t want talk about anything, Paxton. You want to call the shots, and decide what we discuss. I’m not interested in that.”

Paxton spoke to me through gritted teeth and narrowed eyes, voice changing from a soft plead, to anger in the blink of an eye. “I’m so sick of this fucking game. If you would have threatened to call the cops on me before, I would have locked you in a cage for a week. What the fuck? I don’t want to play your fucking game anymore, Gabriella.”

My cell phone dropped to my side and I quietly responded while walking to the door behind the closed curtain. “It’s not my game. I quit a long time ago. You’re the sore loser.”

“Stay here,” Paxton begged in a more civil tone when I stepped out to the damp grass.

I didn’t stay, and I didn’t turn around. I walked away, feeling like I had just completed a great accomplishment. I had. I was sure I had never walked away from him in the past, especially to another house. I walked exactly five steps before I realized I still had that tampon problem. “Shit,” I said aloud, turning back to Paxton, standing in the door, just like he had when I arrived.

“Vagina problem?”

“Please don’t make me stay here, Paxton,” I begged quietly, hoping to soften his heart a little. Not that I thought he had one or anything.

“I’ll trade you. You stay here where I know you’re inside and safe, and I’ll give you a tampon when you need it. And you’re not allowed to say ‘fuck you’,” he added with the famous Paxton smirk, knowing he upped me one. Fucker. I was so close.

“I’ll call the cops,” I threatened with a lot less conviction than before.

“Do it.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t. Goodnight, Mrs. Pierce,” he said in calm, yet arrogant voice, lips moving to mine.

I turned my head, keeping his lips from touching mine, and stomped past him to my room with the adjacent bathroom. Dangling a stupid box of tampons in front of my eyes, of all things to keep me there, tampons wasn’t one I would have expected.

Nonetheless, my bed did feel amazing. I crawled in, retrieving my tablet from the nightstand with mixed emotions. I searched through the tablet again, looking for something I might have hid in a secret folder to no avail. Nothing but my love for reading, a few recipes, and a reminder that Rowan was about to start first grade, and Phi kindergarten. The date for school shopping had come and gone two days ago. I switched off the device when the battery light blinked with two beeps.

I stared out to the moon over the ocean, seeing a beach ball floating in the pool, its silhouette mimicking the full moon. Thoughts of my existence, the lies, and all that I didn’t know yet, flooded my mind. I didn’t know where to turn, who to turn to, or what I was turning for. Part of me just wanted to forget it. Forget the past and fall back into this role that Paxton wanted me in. The part that my sister and her son were out there somewhere and needed me wouldn’t let me. And truth be told, I couldn’t move forward with Paxton until I knew our past. The real past, not this covered up pretend thing we portrayed to our friends.

I jumped for my phone when it beeped. I knew Paxton was probably watching me, and I knew it wasn’t beneath him to storm in and take it from me.

Mi—You okay?

Gabby—Yes. Fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you in that situation.

Mi—No worries. Can you meet me for breakfast? We need to talk.

Gabby—Yes. I will have my girls, but we can go to the park. Sutton.

Mi—The one with the red bridge?

Gabby—Yes, that one. Nine?

Mi—Perfect. See you there.

My eyes landed right on the camera over the door, staring right at me. I stared it down like it was Paxton, standing right in front of me, waiting for him to open the door. He didn’t. Paxton never came and my eyes closed. Thoughts about my mom on a Brazilian beach eased my mind from all my worries. I pretended to hear my mother’s soft words as she described the beach to Izzy and I. I dozed off into a deep sleep. A peaceful, relaxing slumber.

“Gabriella? Gabriella, wake up.”

My eyes couldn’t keep up with my mind, willing them to open. I heard Paxton calling my name, I just couldn’t respond from my comatose state.

“Gabriella,” he said again, this time shaking my shoulder.

“What?” I questioned through small slits in my eyes as the lamp turned on beside my bed. Bright light kept me from seeing him in color. All I could see was one black blob, but I knew it was him. His scent hit me as my eyes slammed shut from the unwelcoming light.

“Wake up. We have to talk.”

I looked at the neon blue numbers across the room through a small opening in one eye. “Now? It’s two o’clock in the morning.”

“I know, but I have to say something.”

“Okay, what?”

“I don’t know,” he said as he sat on my bed, forcing me to move my leg out of his way. His head went into his hands and his fingers tightened around the hair on his head.

“You woke me up at two in the morning to talk, but you don’t know what you want to say?” I asked confused, feeling the frown on my face. I turned to my side, and propped myself to on one elbow.

“I watched it.”

“You watched it?” I asked while questioning his stableness. I had no idea what the hell he watched. None.

“Yes, your friend sent you the email. Nick hypnotized you.”

“Oh, that. Yes, he did.”

“That made it real, Gabriella. You really do have a twin. She was with you. Where is she?”

A sadness instantly fell over me when I thought about watching myself tell the story, tears streaming down my face while I begged her not to die.

“She has a little boy.”

“I heard. I don’t know how to feel right now. You were in so much pain, and not from your injuries. It was for her, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. She spent hours outside, trying to knock on the door. Why didn’t she just knock on the door?” I asked the loaded question as a tear slid down my cheek.

“Where is she, Gabriella?” Paxton asked again, his determination stronger than my own.

“I don’t know. According to my subconscious, the last thing I remembered was the crackling of a tree, and covering my face when I saw it. I don’t know what happened after that, I swear, I don’t, Paxton.”

“I believe you, but she was with you. Where the fuck is she?”

I shrugged one shoulder and played with the satin on the corner of the sheet. “I’ve thought of everything possible. She got washed away with the river. Alligators ate her. Someone found her and is keeping her. She floated out to the sea and the sharks fed off her flesh. I don’t know what happened to her.”

“Did you look for records? A Jane Doe around that time?”

“Mi did. She hasn’t found anything yet. A lot of injuries were reported over those couple of days from the storm.”

“It was so fucking bad, Gabriella. It hit so fast and hard. I’ve lived in Florida my entire life and I have never seen a storm like that. I knew you were out there somewhere. The girls knew it, too. They were scared to death. I was scared to death. You have no idea the anger and relief I felt when I got that call. I didn’t know what the fuck happened to you.”

“You thought I was with Lane, didn’t you?”

“You would have thought that, too.”

“I wasn’t.”

“I know. Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

“I don’t know, Paxton. I barely remember her. I don’t remember her, I just know she was a part of me, and I loved her dearly. Remember when I told you about the dream where I was taken to a studio and photographed?”

“Yeah, I hate that story.”

“Izzy was with me. We were both victims. I see things like a movie, about my mom, Izzy, and I, but I wouldn’t call it remembering. She’s real, she’s my twin, and I don’t know where she is.”

Paxton’s body fell backward, over my legs with a groan. His hands washed over his face like he could just wipe it all away, and then he turned to me, serious expression and focused eyes.

“Are we doing this? Do you want this with me, Gabriella?”

I honestly didn’t even have to think about it. I did want it. As crazy as it sounded in my head, I wanted him. I loved him. “Yes,” I admitted in a quiet tone.

“Then we have to lay it all out there. Together. I want to know where the hell you came from.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you do, but just for kicks, I’d like to know that about you, too. I know as much about you as you know about me, and we’re freaking married. How does that even happen?”

Paxton mimicked my tone, stealing my words with a twist. “Yeah, I don’t think you do, but just for kicks, let’s start with you.”

“Of course, and we’ll never get to you, right?”

“What does Mi know?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to meet her at the park for breakfast in the morning.”

“I have to be at a job site at seven. I didn’t make arrangements with Tricia.”

“I’m taking them with me, and then we’re going school shopping. We have two weeks before school starts.”

“You’re not taking them to meet your friend. I don’t want them dragged into any of this mess.”

“How about we stop calling it a mess? Nothing grows out of a mess.”

“Lotus flowers do.”

My frown was meant to be noticed. “What?”

Paxton shook his head like he couldn’t believe he said it. “Nothing, it’s something stupid I’ve heard you tell the girls.”

“From out of the muddiest waters comes a beautiful lotus, untouched from the filth it comes from.”

“Stupid, huh?” he smiled while propping himself up on one elbow over my legs.

Silence fell upon us as our eyes locked, lingering in each other’s presence, and I whispered, “Kiss me.”

Something lifted from my chest that night. I felt lighter, and for the first time since our Disney trip, I felt like we would be okay. Like we could do this as long as we did it together. Whatever the future held, whatever the past held, we could overcome it as long as we both let it. I knew we could.

Our make out session continued to warm up, and I knew it would go to the next step when I felt my tampon slide out, and Paxton slide in. I didn’t care where the wetness came from between us, I didn’t care about the sheets, and I didn’t care about it being gross. It wasn’t. Not at all. Not in the least. Paxton made love to me uncaring of anything between us. It was amazing, something beautiful I shared with a man that I shouldn’t love. With a man I’d die for. Paxton had my heart and he held my soul in the palm of his hand. Paxton invaded my space, all of me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I was in love.

The time when I swiped my phone caused me to sit straight up. It was almost eight-thirty. Mi would be at the park in half an hour and I wasn’t even out of bed yet. I jumped up, grabbed a two-minute shower, and dressed. The thought of Tricia with my girls, in my house, went through me like a gun loaded with pissed off bullets. I knew there would be a confrontation. Paxton told her not to let me take them. I was sure of that. I was also sure he told her to let me sleep. Jerk.