Chapter 5
Natalie braced her hands on either side of the countertop, breathing deeply to try and get her head back in the right place.
“Be firm,” she whispered. “Be firm. Be strong. Don’t give him any room to argue.”
“Talking to yourself, Natalie?” Javier’s deep voice came from behind her.
Natalie swung around, startled, gasping as she took in his large frame blocking the doorway. Her hand swept up to her throat as her eyes took in his wet shirt and broad shoulders. “I didn’t know that you’d finished in the bathroom.”
“He’s brushing his teeth now.”
Natalie nodded, knowing her son’s routine but the moment felt awkward. Strained. “Um…I see he got you pretty wet.”
Javier nodded even as he stepped closer. “Yes. He’s very exuberant during his bath.”
She smiled. “Did the ships sink tonight?” she asked, referring to her son’s nightly mock battles in the tub. Alejandro loved to put every one of his ships into the tub and create a battle. Some ships weren’t as lucky as the others during the “battle” and were forced to sink.
“Some perished,” he replied, his lips quirking up into a slight smile.
She laughed, the sound coming out shaky since Javier continued to move closer to her. She pressed backwards, knowing the impact he had on her system, but the countertop proved sturdier than one would hope under these circumstances.
“What are you doing?” she asked, her mind trying to function, but failing miserably.
He was only a few inches from her when he lifted his arm up. “Just getting a glass,” he answered innocently, but those dark eyes of his told her that there was a whole lot going on than the man just reaching above her for a glass. “Why are you so jumpy, Natalie?” he asked as he filled the glass with water.
She moved away, almost stumbling over one of the kitchen chairs. “I’m not jumpy,” she lied, cursing the chair as she slid it back under the table. “I’m just tired. Ready for bed.” Natalie immediately realized how that came across and spun around. “I mean, I’m just…not…for bed,” she stumbled out the words. “I’m tired and just…ready to sleep,” she finally finished out, relieved that she was able to clarify.
His mouth quirked up to a slight smile at her words. “I can imagine. You’ve had a series of rough days.”
Shaking her head, she moved backwards. “Yes, well, you can head on out now. Back to your hotel. Or wherever you are staying,” she stammered out. “I know you have work to do.”
He carefully set the glass down in the sink. “I’ve delegated all business responsibilities for the next few days,” he told her, pushing away from the countertop. “I’m here to get to know my son.” He looked at her flushed cheeks. “And forge a new relationship with you.”
Natalie’s heart slammed against her chest. If he’d said those words yesterday, she would have been furious. But his dedication to Alejandro all day today, his patience even during the small temper tantrums and his gentle, steady, unswerving attention, had melted some of the ice that had formed around her heart.
“Yes…well…maybe we could take up that relationship conversation again in the morning? Nothing more can happen tonight. I’m going to bed.”
“Bed is a good thing.”
“Alone,” she told him, remembering her resolution to be firm. Darn it, why did he have to be so…everything!
“Alone. Got it,” he repeated, almost as if he might be agreeing with her, but she knew better. She could see his intent in those dark eyes of his. They conveyed his goals. And that goal was to be in bed with her. “Javier, we can’t…” she swung her hand between them. “This isn’t going to work.”
“It worked well enough a couple of nights ago,” he argued, grabbing her wrist and pulling her relentlessly closer.
“Yes, well, about that…it can’t happen again.” Her eyes dropped from his, staring at his lips. Those lips that could bring her so much pleasure from just a kiss. Good grief, the places this man liked to kiss! She shivered just thinking about all of the places he liked to…kiss!
“Why not?” he asked, pulling her closer.
“Because…” his strong hands were firm on hers, pulling her so close that she could feel his body heat. “Because it won’t work out,” she finally stated with all the conviction she could muster.
“I think we could make it work.”
She shook her head, unaware of the wisps of hair dancing around her cheeks, drawing his eyes to her soft skin and rosebud lips. “I disagree.”
“I think I can make it work out so that we’re both finding pleasure.”
Natalie placed a hand on his chest, pressing against the solid strength of him. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”
“It’s a first step.”
She sighed with frustration. “No, it is the last step in a relationship.”
“Are you guys gonna kiss?” Alejandro asked from the kitchen doorway.
Natalie pulled out of Javier’s arms to stare down at her adorable son, holding a towel around his waist. Javier must have shown him how to do that because Natalie normally just dried him off and put him into his pajamas. On Natalie, the towel barely covered all of the essentials but on Alejandro, most of the material was pooled around his feet and he gripped the terrycloth in his little fist as he stared up at them with eager hope.
Natalie pushed her hair behind her ears with shaking fingers as she stepped over to her son. “No, honey. Your father and I aren’t going to kiss.” At least, she hoped not. “Did you store all of your toys away?”
“Yep!”
“And brushed your teeth?”
In answer, he pulled his lips away, showing her his white baby teeth. “Excellent!” she cheered, hugging him as she chuckled. “Let’s go get your pajamas on and then we can read stories.”
Alejandro hesitated, then peered around her shoulder. “Can my dad read me stories tonight?”
Natalie blinked, then swallowed past the painful lump in her throat. “Of course he can,” she agreed, even though her whole body was rebelling against losing that special time with her son. Alejandro loved to snuggle up against her while she read the stories and he pointed out new words that he struggled to understand. It continued to amaze her that he was only three years old and reading along with her.
“Why don’t we read them together?”
Natalie knew that Alejandro needed to bond with his dad. “It’s okay,” she told him, once again touched by his sensitivity. He’d fully grasped that losing her time with her son saddened her, but Natalie also knew that she would sometimes have to step out of the way.
This was a good thing, she told herself as Javier scooped his son up into his arms, drooping towel and all. It would strengthen him in the long run and give him another role model. And she might not trust Javier with her heart ever again, but there was no question about him being an excellent role model for Alejandro. Javier would pass down an awesome sense of responsibility and integrity, an understanding of how to govern, how to run a business and a strong history of helping others.
She might fault Javier for not believing in their relationship four years ago, but there was no doubt that he would be a strong presence in her son’s life. In their son’s life.
Yes, unraveling the mystery behind her departure needed to happen. And perhaps, if they could understand what had happened, then they could forge a relationship going forward. Maybe. Maybe not, she thought as the anger and fear came back to her mind.
But she refused, absolutely refused, to step into an emotional relationship with Javier again. It had taken her months to get over his betrayal the last time. She couldn’t put herself, or Alejandro, through that kind of torment again.
No, it was better to simply forge a friendship, a relationship based on mutual love for their child. And after seeing Javier interact with Alejandro over the past twenty-four hours, there was no doubt in Natalie’s mind that Javier loved his son. There had been no need for that love to grow. It had been just as instantaneous as it had been for her the moment she realized she was pregnant. That love had only intensified after giving birth and watching him develop into the child that he was now. Natalie had no doubt that her love for her son would continue to grow as Alejandro matured and grew into an adult.
She couldn’t deny Javier that special relationship with his son, any more than she could allow Javier to take Alejandro away from her.
So how did they move forward? What was the right path?
Her mind stopped thinking when she heard Alejandro speaking to Javier in Spanish. Natalie had developed a routine of English one day and Spanish the next. Children were like sponges and Alejandro simply learned both languages as if that were normal.
Goodness, listening to Javier’s deep voice speaking to his son in his native language was like…it was amazing! When Alejandro’s toddler voice replied back in the same language…she had to sit down on the sofa before her knees gave out on her. The deep voice questioning, reading, laughing followed by her son’s younger voice…she had to wipe a tear away as she continued to listen.
Slowly, the younger voice disappeared and Natalie only heard Javier’s deep, resonant tone as he read the ending of the story. Natalie knew exactly what had happened. Alejandro had fallen asleep during the story. His little body was so full of energy, he never slowed down until he crashed. And when he crashed, he crashed hard.
Peering into the bedroom, she watched as Javier stared at his son who was draped over his chest, those little legs tucked up slightly, his tiny mouth open as he breathed slowly in and out.
Once again, Natalie couldn’t control the fluttering in her heart as she watched Javier lift Alejandro carefully into his arms, putting him down onto his toddler bed and tucking the blanket around his body. A gentle kiss and then Javier turned around.
Natalie should have walked away. She shouldn’t have watched. Because seeing that scene, watching the two of them and Javier’s tender ministrations…well, her heart was pounding.
Javier stepped out of Alejandro’s room, pulling the door mostly closed.
Natalie knew she should have walked away, gone into the den area where the light was brighter. Here in the hallway, things weren’t as well lit. The light from the den barely reached the hallway, casting both of them into shadows.
Allowing the shadows of her mind to take over as well.
“You taught him Spanish,” he commented, his voice deep and husky, giving her fair warning of what he was thinking.
Did she react? Did she walk to a safer place?
No.
Did she indicate in any way that she was still intent to hold off on any sort of sexual relationship?
Not at all!
“He’s half Spanish, Javier,” she whispered, her hands flat against the wall behind her, almost as if she could hold herself back from throwing herself into his arms. Hearing the two of them speak in that lyrical language had done something to her, obliterated her mind’s ability to resist.
One moment, he was staring down at her, the heat in his eyes telling her his intention. The next moment, she was in his arms, he was lifting her up against the wall, kissing her as if he was hungry, desperate for each other.
And that was the truth! She needed him, needed his touch. Two nights ago was gone from her memory. All she knew at this moment was that she needed to feel him touching her, kissing her, more than she needed her next breath.
The softness at her back barely registered as her mattress since he almost tore the material of her sweatshirt as he whipped it off over her head. Her bra had no chance to survive as his strong hands ripped at the material, baring her breast to his hungry gaze. He stared for perhaps half a second before his mouth covered her nipple, his tongue lashing at the overly sensitive peak before his whole mouth sucked, his teeth scraped and then his tongue soothed. Over and over again, his mouth tormented her breast, making her gasp out with shock and desperate, clawing need. Her fingers tugged at his hair, holding his head in place and then, when the sensation became too much, pulling his head away, arching away from him. But he wouldn’t let her get away. Those strong hands were already pulling her jeans down her legs, baring all to his hungry touch, his gaze heated as he growled in triumph.
Her cotton underwear was torn off as well, tossed to the side of the bed as his mouth moved down her body. He wouldn’t allow her to hide in any way from him and those strong hands pushed her knees wide. He took a long moment to admire the pink folds of her sex before his mouth moved into place, licking, teasing, torturing her in ways that she remembered, but felt new again.
Her climax was on her before her body could prepare for it. She grabbed her pillow, muffling her screams as her body arched into his mouth, pulsing with waves of pleasure too intense to hold back.
When her body slowed, she was gasping for breath, but he wasn’t satisfied. His mouth moved back up her body, finding all of those spots that he knew would drive her crazy. His mouth ended up back on her nipple while his other hand teased the other one, his fingers plucking, tugging, soothing and teasing the skin. A moment later, he plunged into her body, causing her to gasp.
“It’s okay,” he soothed, realizing how tight she was. “You can take me,” he encouraged as he pulled back out, and then pressed into her again, more gently this time.
Natalie didn’t want gentle. She couldn’t take gentle. Not this time. Maybe next time. Right now, she needed him in her fully, all the way inside her body. She needed him to slam into her, fill her so completely that she couldn’t think about anything else. Just him, this moment, this heat.
“Don’t stop!” she whispered frantically, her hands pressing against his hips and pulling him in closer. “Please don’t stop!”
Arching against him, she felt him push deeper into her body and she sighed as the pleasure overwhelmed her. Unconsciously, her fingernails dug into his hips as she silently urged him to move deeper and faster.
“Natalie!” he groaned, wrapping her legs up around his waist. He grabbed her hands, pinning them above her head and that was all it took to send her right over the edge again. As he watched, Javier tried to hold back, wanting the moment to last. But feeling her inner muscles tighten around his erection, he couldn’t keep his own climax from hitting him. Lifting her hips up, he pressed into her once. Twice. Three times and it was all over as he joined her in the spiraling pleasure.
Natalie tugged at her arms and he released them as he pulled her close, rolling so that he could shift their bodies, hers draped over his instead of him crushing her with his heavier weight
Still intimately connected, Natalie savored the aftermath, feeling complete after years of that sensation. Of missing a part of herself. Not that this man was…she couldn’t…
“Stop it,” he growled, feeling her stiffen in his arms. Javier rolled back over, pinning her underneath him.
“Stop what?” she asked, wiggling as she tried to dislodge him from her body. But a moment later, she gasped as his erection grew, filling her back up.
He lowered his head, nuzzling the sensitive skin along her neck. “Stop thinking. Just feel, Natalie. Don’t overanalyze anything. Just relax and enjoy this moment.”
His hips moved and she inhaled sharply when she realized that he was fully erect once more. How that was possible, she didn’t know. And at this particular moment, she couldn’t care either. She shifted her own hips, trying to get him to move at a specific angle. “We’re going to have to think sooner or later,” she argued, but then sighed happily when he shifted exactly how she needed him to move.
“Later,” he groaned as he pulled her knee up so that her hips were once more cradling his, allowing his thrusts to go deeper, longer. He pulled back, almost completely out of her body until she looked up at him. Only when he’d captured her eyes did he move back into her body. “Much later,” he told her.
Natalie wanted to argue with him, unwilling to give him so much control. But the way he was moving, so slowly that it was maddening, she couldn’t catch her breath enough to speak the words. And the diabolical man knew exactly what he was doing.
When she opened her mouth to scream as the next climax washed over her, he absorbed her scream in his mouth, pressing into her again and again, harder and faster until he joined her in that intense, mind and body altering wave of pleasure.
Once again, he rolled to her side, disengaging their bodies this time, but pulling her close as they both drifted off to sleep. Her last thought as her eyes drifted closed was that she needed to get up and turn off the lights, lock the doors. But after the last several days, sleep was too powerful and it tugged her under its spell.