In the big, spacious kitchen, Bobbi was a little overwhelmed listening to this close-knit group of women catching up on their week, their spouses and pretty much every detail of their lives. Tasked with chopping up vegetables to go with a ranch dip Jessyka was making, Bobbi listened to their conversation but gave up trying to keep track. She’d met Wolf’s wife, Caroline, on base a few times, and recognized Alabama Powers because her girls came to the after-school program twice a week, but the others were new to her and their names all ran together.

“I’m guessing you and Ron made up?” Jessyka asked, interrupting her thoughts.

Bobbi looked up. “Kind of. I mean, yes, I’m here with him but Julian had the stomach flu all week so we haven’t really been able to talk.”

“He’s a hottie.” Caroline grinned at her as she passed by with a plate of hamburgers and hot dogs she was taking outside.

“I wouldn’t kick him out of bed,” Alabama giggled, her cheeks turning pink. “If I were single, that is!”

They laughed together and Bobbi was grateful the conversation turned to other things. She didn’t have a lot to say about Ron. She liked him. She wanted him. She could picture herself with him. She just couldn’t wrap her head around starting a relationship with another military man. She respected the hell out of them, and admired the strong women who loved them, but wasn’t sure she could do it again. She hadn’t even loved Wade and his death had gutted her. Losing Ron would be a thousand times harder, and though she tried not to be a pessimist, she’d never been particularly lucky when it came to men.

“Hey.” Ron’s arms slid around her from behind and she turned, smiling up at him despite her dark thoughts.

“Hi.”

“Are you done? Come sit with me. I haven’t spent time with you in nearly two weeks.”

“Sure.” She wiped her hands and let him lead her out back. A group of older kids were playing on a Slip ‘N Slide while the younger ones like Sam and Sara were in a sandbox. Some of the SEALs were gathered, laughing and talking, while others played with the kids. Bobbi sank onto Ron’s lap when he guided her in that direction and looked into his eyes.

“Sam is going to have half the sand from the sandbox in her diaper,” he mused.

Bobbi looked over at where Julian was sliding with the bigger kids. “This is the happiest I’ve seen Julian in over a year.”

“It’s nice being out like this, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” She rested her head on his shoulder.

“What are you thinking?” he asked softly, stroking her cheek with his knuckle.

“How easy it would be to get used to this.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Let’s not talk about all that today, okay?” She rested her palm on his hard, flat abdomen and began moving it up and down in a slow, comforting pattern. “I just want to enjoy being together.”

“Okay.” He pressed a kiss to her temple and didn’t say anything else. Forcing the issue wouldn’t accomplish anything, so for now, he’d let her take the lead.

The day was fun, full of laughter, good food and a lot of time close to Ron. He touched her every opportunity they had and after a while she stopped thinking about anything except being with him. Her heart was at war with her brain, reminding her she wouldn’t easily find another guy like Ron if she let him go. She wanted to believe it was going to be okay, that the glint of desire in his eyes wouldn’t fade and his dangerous job wouldn’t take him away from her. She’d experienced both of those things with Wade and it was humiliating and painful.

Ron isn’t Wade, the angel on her shoulder reminded her. As she stared over at him, the thought made her happy.

“Sam’s pooped,” Ron said as the sun sank low in the sky. “You ready to go?”

“Any time you are,” she said, sliding her feet back into her sandals. It had been a light-hearted, lazy day and she was pleasantly tired and sunburned. These were great people and she hoped there would be other opportunities to spend time with them.

They gathered up their things, thanking Benny, Jessyka and the others as they headed out.

“I’m hungry,” Julian announced.

“We just left a party,” Bobbi protested. “You had at least three hot dogs and probably more than those two cookies I saw you eat.”

“Three,” he confirmed. “And a bunch of watermelon. But I’m still hungry.”

“We may have to stop at the store to pick up some spaghetti,” she said.

“Sketti!” Sam clapped her hands happily.

“You hungry too, Sam-Bam?” Ron asked as he buckled her into her car seat.

She nodded, still clapping her hands.

“I don’t mind boiling some water to make spaghetti,” Bobbi said. “But we have to stop at the store. Tomorrow is grocery day and there isn’t much in the house. I’m stuffed, but I’m happy to feed them.”

“And me.” Ron looked over at her guiltily.

“Still the bottomless beanpole,” she laughed, shaking her head as she got into his SUV. “No problem.”

“I have spaghetti at the apartment,” he said. “Let’s just go to my place so we don’t have to make any stops.”

“Okay,” she nodded agreeably.

They got to his townhouse and she put Julian in front of the TV while Ron gave Sam a bath. She found what she needed in the kitchen, boiling water for the pasta and putting the colander in the sink. She got out three plates, setting them on the kitchen table and was glad to see he had Parmesan cheese—Julian would have a fit without it.

“I see you found everything.” Ron’s deep voice gave her a warm, happy feeling and she turned with a smile.

“Your kitchen is pretty well-equipped for a bachelor.”

He shrugged. “When my ex and I broke up we split everything down the middle—we’d lived together for two years so there was a lot of stuff.”

“What happened?” she asked, stirring the pasta.

“She didn’t want to marry a Marine. She asked me when I was getting out at least once a week. After a while, that got old. I mean, I wasn’t necessarily planning to stay in forever, but I wanted to get my 20.”

“Wanted?” She looked at him questioningly.

“I have Sam to think about now,” he said simply. “I can’t do this for more than a few more years. Once she starts school, I can’t count on sitters to do homework with her, take her to ballet or sports or whatever… Being a single parent in the military is hard. It can be done, but my job is different. I’d have to find someone I could trust to keep her for weeks at a time. At two, she’s not cognizant of much, but at six and older, I think it’ll be a different story.”

“Your parents won’t help?”

He snorted. “Not hardly. My parents barely managed to raise me. By the time Britt came along, they were done. I raised her more than they did.”

“I’m sorry. That must be a tough decision.”

“It is,” he admitted. “I love the military, love my job.”

“What else would you do?” she asked.

“One of the guys from my old unit keeps asking me to make the change to the NSA like he did.”

“What’s holding you back?”

“Riding a desk will be different. Louie’s a liaison to a Marine unit at Quantico but I don’t know that I’d do the same thing, and frankly, sitting at a computer all day would suck the life out of me.”

“You have to do what makes you happy.” She spoke gently, but the words sounded hollow even to her own ears because she’d initially been excited at the thought of him leaving the military. If he didn’t want to, though, that was a different story.

“I have to think about Sam,” he responded mildly.

“Children certainly change things.” She turned back to the stove, dumping the pasta and water into the colander so it could drain. “Grab the kids and let’s get them fed.”

“Okay.”

They ate relatively quickly and settled in front of the TV with the kids to finish watching the show Julian had started before they’d eaten. Sam fell asleep about 30 minutes later so Ron put her to bed and 20 minutes after that Julian was asleep on the couch.

“Let’s go in the other room and talk,” Ron whispered, pulling Bobbi close.

She dropped a throw blanket over Julian and pressed a soft kiss against his hair before following Ron to his room. The same room where they’d been so rudely interrupted nearly two weeks ago. He shut the door behind them and sat on the edge of the bed, holding out his arms to her. She moved towards him slowly, settling on his lap.

“What’s the matter, babe?” he whispered against her hair. “Things haven’t been the same since I came back from that op. Are we done before we even start? You can talk to me, you know. Even if things don’t work out romantically, I’d like to think we’re still the same friends we were back in high school.”

“We’re definitely not the same friends we were in high school.” She sighed. “Things have progressed beyond that.”

“Won’t you give us a chance? Give me a chance? I see the hesitation in your eyes and I don’t know what I can do to reassure you.”

“You can’t,” she said simply. “There’s no way you can promise me nothing will happen to you.”

“But there’s no way I can do that anyway,” he protested. “I could get in a car accident or find out I have cancer… There are no guarantees in life.”

She sighed. “I know. It’s just…I never got used to being a military wife. Being alone wasn’t too bad, but the transitions were hard. He was one way before he was deployed and someone completely different after. And he was never deployed anywhere scary like Iraq. He had one assignment where he was driving a general around Europe. Stressful but not a war zone. It just took him so long to be…normal again. I don’t know how to explain it. I was always walking on eggshells, worried about his moods, waiting for him to notice me. I don’t know if I have it in me to go through that again.”

Ron frowned. “I think my personality stays on an even keel almost all the time,” he said slowly. “Every mission is different, of course, and sometimes you see things you wish you hadn’t, but I can promise you’d never have to worry about me not noticing you. At the end of the day you have to have faith in me, babe. That’s all there is—trust and faith that I’m the man you think I am.”

“You’re definitely the man I think you are.” She leaned against him, that strange yearning to be close to him hard to ignore. No matter where they were or what they were doing, she was drawn to him in ways that were difficult to explain. Caution went out the window and was replaced by a careless hunger that frightened her. She’d never felt like this about a man—her teenage crush paled in comparison to how he made her feel now—and pushing him away required much more energy than letting him get close.

“So much running through your mind,” he teased softly, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. “I can practically see the wheels turning.”

“I want you so much it hurts,” she admitted.

“Aw, baby, it’s not supposed to hurt.”

His lips found hers, slowly teasing them apart and she melted into him. This was heaven. Fifteen years of longing was culminating into something sweeter, sexier and much more fulfilling than her teenage heart ever could have imagined.

“Not tonight,” he whispered, pulling away slowly, hands on either side of her face. “The kids are right outside, Julian’s in a strange place… Let’s not tempt fate with this.”

“Okay.” She sighed with disappointment, even though he was right.

“Let’s find a night this week that works for both of us and we’ll get a sitter to—”

“Ron.” She took a breath. “I can’t afford a sitter twice in one month.”

“I’ll pay—”

“No. I can’t let you do that.”

He sighed. “Babe, how else are we going to be alone? You want to do this here and now? With the kids right outside? If it was just Sam, we’d be okay ’cause she won’t move before six, but with both of them? And Julian on the couch?”

“I know, but I can’t…I can’t let you pay a sitter so we can have sex.” She flushed just saying the word.

“What if I talk to Sandy about trading babysitting? Julian can go to her house this week and then on a day of her choice, you’ll take Dean?”

She nodded slowly, the idea taking root quickly. “Yes, that would be perfect. Thank you.”

He pressed his lips to hers once more. “It’s purely selfish, believe me.”