Chapter 1

 

On a scale of one to ten in shittiness, my day had been a definite eleven. Admittedly, not as bad for me as for others, because I, at least, was alive to tell the tale, but it had still sucked big time. Two of my patients had suffered major heart attacks. One had died, the other had been moved to Intensive Care. Things like that always affected morale on the ward, staff and patients both. We were a post-surgical ward, and incidents like that were, thankfully, quite rare. For two of them to happen within a couple of hours of each other was unprecedented and upsetting for everybody. With everything that was going on, I had missed lunch too, which was a minor detail, but I had always been the type of person who got grumpy when I was hungry.

It was raining when I left the hospital and I was soaked to the bone and shivering by the time I reached the bus stop. What made it all the more annoying, was that I owned a perfectly good car, but I had left it at home that day so my boyfriend could use it to get to his job interview. Rufus was what you might call high maintenance. I had been with him for eighteen months and he had been unemployed for six of them. Or ‘between jobs’ as he preferred to call it. My suggestion the previous night that he might be more successful in interviews if he toned down his make-up, pink hair and fluorescent nail varnish, had gone down like a lead balloon. In the face of the ensuing, epic sulk, I had promised to leave him my car, which had help to appease him to some small degree.

The bus was running late and when it arrived it was already crowded. A few people alighted at the hospital, but more got on board than had gotten off, so it didn’t exactly improve the situation. I had to stand, pressed up against a fat, sweaty man who had evidently seen neither soap nor toothpaste for quite some time. He didn’t seem to find me quite so objectionable, however, and leered at me each time the bus took a corner and gravity forced our bodies into contact.  I turned my back on him to show I wasn’t interested, only to have a meaty hand grab my arse. I wished I had the nerve to say something, object loudly and draw attention to what the creep was doing, but I didn’t.

It was a relief when the bus reached my stop and I could escape the unwanted attention. I was tired, hungry and fed up. All I wanted was to get home to my boyfriend and have a quiet night in front of the television.

My car was in the car park, which meant Rufus must be home. I quickened my pace, suddenly anxious to see him. When I told him how bad my day had been, he’d give me a hug and tell me everything would be okay. He’d tell me to put my feet up while he cooked us a stunning meal, and afterward, we would cuddle up on the sofa and laugh at some stupid sitcom on the telly. Except…he wouldn’t, would he? Because that wasn’t Rufus’ role in the relationship. It was mine. I was the carer. I’d known what he was like from the start so I couldn’t complain, but Rufus had never taken care of me, not even when I was ill with flu last winter. I was the one cooked and clean and handed out the comforting hugs. I’d moved in when Rufus lost his job and paid all the bills ever since too.

The flat was dark and silent when I let myself in. That would be a big fat no on the tasty meal then. I moved through the rooms, searching for Rufus and hoping we were not heading for another row. Things had been good for us between the first few months, but then things had changed. I’d moved in to help him, and hoped it would make Rufus more secure in our relationship. It wasn’t always perfect, but at least he hadn’t cheated on me again since we’d been living together. I’d forgiven him, of course. Twice. I loved him. He loved me too, in his own way.

I found him in the living room, curled up on the sofa. He stared straight ahead, unflinching when I flicked the overhead light on.

“I take it the interview didn’t go too well,” I said, sitting on the end of the sofa and pulling his feet into my lap. “Never mind, babes. There will be others. You just have to–”

“They’re getting married.”

“What?” I shook my head, confused. What did he mean? The interviewers were getting married? Why would that stop him from getting the job? “Who are you on about?”

“Stefan! Stefan and Alex-bloody-Gill.” Rufus yanked his feet from my lap and sat up to glare at me. Like it was somehow my fault his best friend and worst enemy had decided to tie the knot. “Alex proposed,” Rufus continued crossly, “and Stefan said yes. I mean, why the Hell would he do that?”

“Because he loves him,” I said. A small part of me envied them. Alex Gill was the biggest, meanest, scariest son-of-a-bitch I’d ever met, but he would do anything for his sweet, little Stefan. Including marrying him it would seem. I doubted Rufus would ever be the marrying kind. “They’re happy together.”

“But Stefan knows how I feel about Alex,” Rufus argued. “The brute did try to kill me, in case you’ve forgotten.”

How could I forget? Almost two years had passed since Rufus had been the victim of a violent, gay-bashing at the hands of Alex’s former gang. Despite the fact Alex had had a cast iron alibi, Rufus refused to believe he had not been involved in the attack. He tolerated Alex for Stefan’s sake, but I knew he still hoped the two of them would split up, even though they had been to Hell and back to be together in the first place. Stefan had been seriously hurt in an arson attack on his home, and Alex had barely survived being beaten and stabbed multiple times by his old friends. Both of them still bore the scars of their fight for the right to love each other.

Reminding Rufus that Alex had proved, to the satisfaction of the Police, that he had been in college – attempting to improve himself so Stefan would like him better – the night he had been bashed would only upset him further, so I tried a change of subject instead.

“Why don’t we order in some food and watch telly,” I suggested, crossing my fingers that I had enough in the bank to pay for it. Rufus could easily spend thirty pounds or more on food when he ordered, even if he hardly touched it and I ended up eating leftovers for the next week. “What do you fancy? Chinese? Indian?”

“I don’t want food. How can I eat at a time like this?” Rufus leapt to his feet and stared down at me expectantly. “I want to go out. Let’s go to Keane’s.”

“Babe, I’m not sure…” I was hungry, even if Rufus wasn’t, and I really wasn’t keen on the idea of going out.

“Please, Eric.” Rufus dropped into my lap and wound his arms around my neck. He pouted prettily and fluttered his eye lashes. “I’ve had such a terrible day. I need cheering up.”

“What else happened? You haven’t told me how the interview went yet.”

Rufus snorted. “It didn’t go, full stop. Some snotty receptionist looked me up and down when I went in and said, ‘Did I realise I was there for an interview and not a child’s birthday party?’ So I told her they could stick their interview up their arses because I didn’t want to work for them anyway, and then I walked out.” He wriggled on my lap, deliberately rubbing up against my dick. The promise of sex was always his go-to choice as a means of distraction. “I was so upset, Eric. I didn’t even see that stupid bollard in the car park until it was too late. Then Stefan phoned and ruined my day completely.”

“Wait, what bollard? Rufus, did you crash my car?”

“Not a crash, exactly. It’s only a small dent. It hardly even shows.”

“Right, and when were you going to tell me?”

“I just did, silly.” Rufus rolled his eyes. “I already said I didn’t see it. Come on, Eric. Don’t be cross with me. What with that bitch receptionist and the little bump in your car, and then finding out Stefan is marrying that animal…can’t you see how upset I am?”

Of course I could see. Rufus made sure to let his bottom lip quiver just to make sure I got the message. I’d had a bad day too. I felt too tired to go out, and I was definitely not in the mood for Keane’s, but I knew I had already lost. We would go clubbing because it was what Rufus wanted and when did I ever say no to him? I loved him, though God knows I wondered why sometimes.

He was spoiled, lazy, selfish and immature. He was beautiful, fun-loving and passionate. Best of all, he was mine.