There was silence in the car the rest of the way to Austin’s apartment, but Hale’s thoughts ran at a mile a minute, and no matter what he tried, he couldn’t silence them.

Austin kissed me. He kissed me. There’s no way this is actually happening. I have to be living in some kind of dream world. Did I die during the stakeout? None of this feels real.

He stole glances in Austin’s direction for the rest of the ride, too guilty to look at him directly. Austin had never come across as gay. He’d dated girls in high school, and he’d told Hale in an indirect fashion that he didn’t like men the night of the house party all those years ago. Had he found the courage to come out to himself? For Hale, it had always been easy—there’d never been an alternative—but he knew that not everyone was the same way. Maybe Austin was the kind of guy who’d needed the few extra years to himself in order to find out the truth.

Maybe the Navy had changed him.

It had certainly changed Michael.

Hale balled his fists and focused on his breathing to try to distract himself from the thoughts buzzing in his head. He set his gaze on an arbitrary point out the window and watched scenery pass by until Austin pulled into his parking spot at the apartment complex and stopped the car. When the engine had been turned off, Hale unbuckled his seatbelt and left the car silently. He’d almost forgotten why they were coming back to Austin’s apartment in the first place—the memory of Austin’s lips on his was too distracting.

“You coming, Hale?” Austin asked. He opened the door to the lobby.

Hale had been spacing out by the passenger side of the car. He came back to with a start and hurried to follow Austin into the apartment. Austin sighed and shook his head, but he didn’t seem frustrated—there was energy and connection between them now that hadn’t been there before, and it softened Austin’s reactions and made Hale think that most of what he did was for show. He cared, and maybe, he cared a little too much. Hale hoped he wasn’t just imagining it.

Austin opened the door to his apartment and they stepped inside together. When the door was closed, Austin rolled his shoulders back and sucked in a breath.

“Alright,” he said. He cut through the living room to the kitchen. “We need to focus on Michael first and foremost. He’s in danger.”

Deep down, Hale knew it was the conversation they were supposed to have—but it wasn’t the one his heart wanted. Feeling slightly dejected, he followed Austin into the kitchen. “Right.”

“So, here it is.” Austin turned and leaned against the kitchen counter. “You need to call the police and report to them what you saw, including the license plate number. If Michael is being held hostage, and if there are bad men with weapons involved, then it’s out of your control. There’s nothing more you can do without putting yourself and Michael at risk. It’s time you turned it over to the professionals.”

“I can’t do that,” Hale said. He clenched his fists. After the kiss, he hadn’t been planning on an argument, but it looked like that was what he was going to get. “Let’s say I turn it over to the small-town police in Hidden Creek. What are they going to do? They’re not ready to handle a situation like that. And if I try to report it to the state? Who’s going to take me seriously? It sounds like the plot to some movie. They’re going to think I’m unhinged.”

“How much practice do you have with an assault rifle?” Austin asked pointedly.

“None.”

“How many bulletproof vests do you own?”

“I don’t own any.”

“What about tactical eq—”

“Stop!” Hale grabbed Austin by the front of his shirt. It was unlike him to react violently, but Austin was being unfair. “Will you please stop? I know that I’m just some kid, and that it looks like something nefarious is going on, but what other choice do I have? Michael is my cousin. You’ve got hard feelings for him, sure, but I don’t! We may have grown apart over the years, but he’s still family, and he’s still my friend. I’m going to make sure he’s okay because I don’t believe that anyone else can.”

“You’re setting yourself up for lethal failure.”

“You know what?” Hale knew before he spoke that what he was about to say was pushing too far, but he couldn’t stop the words from coming out. “At least I haven’t given up, like you have. At least I still have the will to try. Life sucks, and the situation feels impossible, but I’ve still got fight left in me even though I’m weak and unqualified and frankly have no clue what I’m doing. What excuse do you have, Austin? You’ve still got your body. You’ve still got all your training. You’ve still got your mind. Yeah, you shake now. Yeah, you’re traumatized… but that doesn’t stop you from being a person. That doesn’t inhibit you from living your damned life, even if you have to live it differently now than you would have before.”

Austin’s expression became shaded with anger. The scowl on his face pierced Hale’s heart. “You don’t understand the first thing about what life is like for me now.”

“No, I don’t.” Hale’s cheeks burned. He let go of Austin’s shirt. “But you know what? I don’t give a single fuck about that. Not one. Everyone has their struggles. No one’s life is perfect. But to let the bad parts of your life overshadow the good? To not want to try even though you could because you feel like a failure? That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you never let yourself live, you’ll never grow. Never.”

Shock diffused the rage on Austin’s face. Hale didn’t know what he’d said to make Austin change his mind, but he hoped that whatever it was didn’t change Austin’s opinion of him. Austin had so much more to live for, and Hale hated to see him hold himself back because of a perceived inability. Austin wasn’t being fair to himself.

“You should leave,” Austin said softly, but not aggressively. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay here anymore.”

“Why?” Hale asked. He wasn’t going to go until he knew where they stood. “We’re not even done talking about Michael yet. There’s still too much to figure out.”

“Please, Hale?” Austin looked him over, and Hale wasn’t sure what he saw in Austin’s eyes, but whatever it was made him want to stay right where he was. He hadn’t realized how close they’d been standing until then. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay here for much longer.”

“You need to tell me why.”

“Because I’m going to kiss you again, and this time, I’m not going to stop.”

Hale’s heart skipped a beat. He knew that he carried the risk of rejection—that Austin was indulging in a guilty desire that he’d eventually get over, and once that happened, he’d kick Hale to the curb like he was last week’s trash… but the part of his heart that had always had a place for Austin made him want to ignore the chance that he could be hurt. How long had he wanted this very thing? And now, suddenly, it was his.

“That’s no way to get me to leave,” Hale murmured. He came a little closer, letting their bodies meet as he tilted his head upward to silently beg for Austin’s kiss. “That’s going to make me want to stay.”

“I’m not gay,” Austin replied, his voice only loud enough so that Hale could hear.

“But you’re not straight, either. Not right now.” Hale’s hands found their way to Austin’s hips. He tilted his head slightly and brought his lips to Austin’s. “If you want to experiment, you can do it with me. I want you, Austin. Life is shitty for both of us… do you think that tonight, we could help each other forget about it?”

Austin shivered. His hands slipped around to grab Hale by the ass, and he pressed Hale against him. The denim between them couldn’t hide Austin’s erection. “You want me to experiment with you?”

“No strings attached,” Hale said, even though his heart begged him for something different. “Let yourself live, even if it’s like this. I’m ready to do anything you want, Austin. Anything. All you have to do is take it from me.”

Austin didn’t reply. Instead, he kissed Hale hard. Hale shivered and kissed Austin back, moving his hands from Austin’s waist to around his neck. Their bodies were flush, and every now and then, Hale felt Austin push against him, looking to put pressure on his cock. Every time he did, and every time Hale felt its outline against his stomach, he imagined how far Austin would sink into him when they had sex.

When, because Hale knew it was going to happen. Austin was going to take him to bed, and he was going to live out a teenage fantasy he never would have believed would come to pass.

He was going to sleep with Austin Reeves.

Austin’s hands tightened, squeezing Hale’s ass. As the kiss deepened, the way he ground against Hale became more obvious. Soon enough, they were kissing and dry humping, and Austin wasn’t the only one who was rock hard. Hale was ready to be thrown across the kitchen table and taken. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted someone so badly.

“You wanna fuck me?” Hale whispered against Austin’s lips. “I’m yours. Tonight, there is no such thing as ‘no.’ You have total permission to use my body however you want. Wreck me.”

Austin sucked in a breath. One of his hands moved from Hale’s ass to roughly grab the hair on the back of his head, and he held it still as he started the kiss all over again. Austin’s tongue slipped into Hale’s mouth, and Hale hummed and met his tongue with his own. Every new thrust of Austin’s hips, even though his eyes were still closed, made him see stars. The chemistry between them was explosive, and the years of anticipation and fantasy only made Hale want to see what they’d started through to the end.

“You get under my goddamn skin, Hale,” Austin uttered when the kiss broke. “You slipped in and now I can’t get you out, and now I’m hooked on you. If I fuck you, will you get out of my goddamn head? Will you leave me the fuck alone?”

“I don’t know,” Hale whispered teasingly. “But you know, the only way to find out is to try…”

A growl rattled in Austin’s throat. Hale gasped in surprise, but the noise was silenced when Austin sealed Hale’s lips with his own. Their teeth clacked, raw desire blinding them to everything but each other. Hale started to grind back, working his hips against Austin’s body as Austin pumped against him.

“I like to be fucked hard,” Hale whispered through the kiss. “I want you to pound me. I’m yours to do with what you please. I want you to be selfish, Austin. Tonight, I want to be your perfect plaything… the cock sleeve you work your frustrations out into. Do you want to give that to me?”

“Fuck yes, I do.”

“Then don’t be shy.” Hale nuzzled against Austin’s cheek and nipped his earlobe before whispering the rest. “All you need is a little lube, and I’ll be good for you. I feel how hard you are already. Now, let me feel you from the inside.”

Hale pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, and it turned out that it was all he needed to do. Austin pulled him close to his chest, turned them around so that Hale was against the counter, and pulled back so he could look in Hale’s eyes.

“Take off your pants,” Austin demanded, bringing Hale’s cock to twitch in response. “You chose not to run, and now I’m going to fuck us both senseless because of it. I hope you’re ready for this.”

“I’ve been ready since I met you,” Hale whispered back. He undid the button of his jeans as his heart raced with excitement. “Tonight, let’s both give life all we’ve got.”