Chapter Eleven
Sally dropped the bag in the center of the apartment, and all she wanted to do was cry. Drew was still there, and it was hard for her to hold everything in. She had become like the people who had hurt her. She’d lashed out at those she loved. Glancing down at her hands, she felt the tears well up, but they didn’t spill over. She had hit Steven. No matter how much pain she’d been in, she shouldn’t have become violent.
“I can quit,” he said. “I don’t have to be part of The Skulls.”
Tucking her hair behind her ears, she spun around to face him. “Why? You love it, don’t you?”
“You need me right now.”
“I’m not going to fall in love with you.”
Drew smiled. “Believe it or not, I don’t expect you to. I just don’t want you to be alone right now.”
She stared at her friend. When she had gotten up to leave, Whizz and Lacey had tried to stop her. She wouldn’t listen to them. On the way to Steven’s apartment, the anger had begun to build within her. She’d wanted blood; she’d wanted something.
Grabbing a bag, she’d dumped every single item she’d taken to his place inside. When she had waited for him to arrive, she had hoped that she was wrong, that he’d not known. The instant she saw him though, she knew.
“Steven loves you,” Drew said.
“Please, you cannot mention his name to me right now.”
Everything was hurting. The pain was unlike anything she had ever felt, and she’d felt a lot of it in her time.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.
She looked at him then, seeing her best friend with his concern. Even as she fought it, her face scrunched up, and the tears started to fall. “I have no one.”
Drew went to her, pulling her close, and even as she wanted to pull away, she needed his hug right now. She needed her best friend.
“You have me.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t. I don’t have you anymore. I’ve not had you in a long time.”
He held her close even as she tried to pull away. “I fucked up. I know this, and I regret it, okay? I’d rather be your friend than not have you in my life. Okay. I’m crazy. I don’t have feelings for you at all, but please let me be your friend.”
Sally stopped fighting him. She was so tired, so upset, and so broken. After everything she had been through, nothing had prepared her for this. Growing up being passed from one household to another, and then being hurt by the people who were supposed to be taking care of her, she stopped feeling anything. The shitty life became the norm for her. Disappointment was a thing of the past.
Right now, she was hurting, she was sad, she was alone, and there was no one. The love of her life had let her go and be hurt by the very past she never wanted to hear about again. He’d not even warned her.
How could someone who claimed to love her allow that to happen? She didn’t know, nor did she understand, and she didn’t want to.
Pulling out of Drew’s arms, she forced a smile to her lips. “I’m fine. Everything is going to be fine.” First thing she was going to do now was to find a job to help support her. “What will the rent be?”
“Don’t even think about that right now.”
“Okay, well, when you need it let me know.” She pushed some of her hair off her face. “I’m going to go and get settled in.” She had stayed here a few times. Drew had always offered her a place at his apartment, and she always turned it down. She had a dorm room, and she’d wanted the whole college experience.
“I’m going to head back, and let Lash know I’ll be staying here the rest of the summer.”
“You’re not quitting, are you?” she asked.
“No, I’m not quitting. I’ve got things to do.”
She nodded, and didn’t say anything more. She wasn’t ready to talk.
Entering the spare bedroom, she smiled as she saw Drew’s housekeeper had made her up a bed. Putting her few things away, she grabbed her laptop, sat on the bed, and began to look for work. She was never one to be idle, and she didn’t want to start now.
This was not how she intended her summer to be, but right now, she didn’t see an alternative.
****
“You want to quit?” Lash asked.
Steven watched as Drew stood his ground. The guy had balls of steel, there was no denying that.
“No, I don’t. I took Sally to my apartment near the campus. She’s hurting, and I don’t want to lose my place at The Skulls, so I was hoping you’d give me the opportunity to protect her. To keep an eye on her.”
This was killing him, hearing Drew offer to take one of their places.
“What makes you think you qualify to take care of one of our own?” Lash asked.
“I’m the only one that she’s allowed near her. She’s upset, she’s hurting, but even though we’re having a few troubles, she still called me to help her. I’m her friend. I won’t let the club down.”
Steven gritted his teeth. He’d been called to church that night, and he was still reeling from the events of the day. Glancing over at Whizz, he saw the other brother wasn’t handling anything well.
“Whizz, do you have a problem with him taking care of her?” Lash asked.
“No, I don’t have a problem.” Whizz rubbed the back of his head. “What did she say? Did she say anything to you?”
Drew swallowed, glanced at the floor, took a deep breath, and turned toward Whizz. “She said that she was all alone.”
That hurt Whizz, and it hurt Steven.
Damn!
He had fucked up royally, and he was feeling it now.
“Do whatever you have to do to make her realize that she’s loved. Don’t let her … don’t let her hurt herself or anything.”
“She’s strong. She’s been through a lot.” Drew went to take his leather cut off, but Lash stalled him.
“No, that jacket is yours. This is your job for now.”
Drew nodded, and made his way outside of the clubhouse. Steven was close to the door, so he followed him out.
“How is she?” he asked.
No one was outside, and when Drew turned to face him, he saw the pain on his face. “She’s hurting right now. Everything is fucked up, and I don’t know how to fix it. What did you do? I know what I did, but I don’t know why she didn’t come to you.”
“I fucked up, that’s all you need to know.”
Drew gritted his teeth, and stepped toward him, and then back. “You know what, I get that Sally went through shit when she was younger. It doesn’t take a fucking genius to read between the lines. She was honest about a lot of stuff, and for everything else, I filled in the blanks. Keeping me in the dark about everything is not going to help me help her. I’m going to do the best I can to make her feel okay, but she won’t let me in, not now.”
Steven watched as Drew walked away. “Sally’s one request was that we didn’t go looking into her past.” This had Drew stopping, and turning toward him. “We broke that promise, and today I didn’t prepare her for a conversation that was going to hurt her. That’s what I’ve done, and it was bad enough that she told me she never wanted me to see her again.”
Drew stopped, closed his eyes, and Steven saw that he was breathing heavily. “She loves you, Steven. You’ll win her back.”
“Not if I can’t get her to stomach being around me.”
“This … conversation, is it dangerous? Will it get her killed?”
“No. We’re going to handle everything. You don’t need to worry about that. Just … let her know that I love her, more than anything, and that I’ll be waiting for her.”
Drew stepped to his car, reached in and wrote something down on a piece of paper before coming to hand it to him. “That’s my address. She’s there until college starts again.”
With that, Drew left, and Steven watched him go. Folding up the piece of paper, he placed it in his back pocket. He didn’t need it, would never need it. When it came to Sally, he’d already had Drew checked out. The moment he’d said that Sally was staying at his apartment, Steven had known where she was.
“What did he have to say?” Whizz asked, making Steven turn.
“That he’d keep an eye on her, protect her. What the hell happened?” Steven asked. Right now was not the time to be telling Whizz that he was in love with Sally, that he’d been sneaking behind his back.
“We fucked up. It was scary. I watched her withdraw from all of us. She just didn’t want anything to do with any of us. It was like the past years with us hadn’t happened, you know?”
“She went on the defensive?”
“Yep, and then none of us could reach her.” Whizz rubbed a hand down his face. “When it was over, she just got up and left. We tried to stop her, and she told us to back the fuck off. She looked so broken, so hurt, that I didn’t even question it. I just went right ahead and did what she wanted.”
Steven glanced toward the open fence of the parking lot. He would do anything to have Sally there with them.
“What shit is going to happen?” Steven asked.
“Michael’s heading back tonight. He’s going to give us the rundown on shit that is going on.”
“Okay.”
They were silent for several seconds. Steven didn’t have anything to say, and Whizz looked … broken.
“She’s never coming back,” Whizz said.
Steven shook his head. “She’ll come back. It’s not Sally’s way to leave forever.”
Whizz nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. “I’ve got to go. Lacey’s waiting for me.”
He watched his brother leave, and it killed a part of Steven to know that he didn’t help with this shit.
Heading back into his room in the clubhouse, he sat on the edge of the bed, and stared at his cell phone. Checking her number, he hesitated in calling her. He didn’t want to hurt her. All he’d wanted to do was help her, and to take away the monsters from her past.
Leaving her number for a moment, he checked through the photos. He’d taken so many when she hadn’t even known about it. Should he have done that shit, or was he wrong in that now as well?
Fuck! Everything was fucking fucked.
Steven couldn’t take it anymore, so he pressed her number, and placed his cell to his ear. It rang so many times before going to voice mail.
At first he hung up, and then knew the only way he’d be able to talk to her, for her to even begin to understand, would be if he told her truth, and talked to her.
Ringing her cell again, he waited, only this time when it went to voice mail, he didn’t hang up.
“Hey, baby. I know you fucking hate me right now, and believe me, I completely understand why. I’m a fucker and all that. I’m sure you can think of a gazillion names to call me, and I know I’ve called them myself all the time. You’re right. I shouldn’t have gone delving into your past. That was yours, and I breached that trust. I’m sorry that I did that and that you feel like I betrayed you. To you, I know that I did. There’s nothing for me to say other than I love you, and I only wanted to make everything better for you. This doesn’t take away what I did though.” He stopped and released a breath. “I love you more than anything else in the world, Sally. There’s never going to be anyone else for me, and I hope one day soon, you can forgive me.” He rubbed at his temple, not really sure what the hell to do. “I love you, baby, and I hope one day you can forgive. I’m here for you, always.”
He hung up his cell, and sat back, feeling defeated.