Mikayla

She studied her notes. She had prepared them as though it was a debate tournament. She’d work for hours on her arguments and was ready for a fight; no matter what stance she was given. After several hours, she felt she could make a good case for herself, as if she had graduated from law school.

It was time to appeal to his human nature. After living with him for three months, she knew he was not a monster. He really thought of himself as a humanitarian.

After breakfast, as he stood to clear their plates, she took his hand in hers and said, “Nolan, I really need to talk to you. Can these please wait for now?”

Nolan was a clean freak by nature, and it didn’t go unseen; he felt uncomfortable leaving a mess, yet he took her hand and let her follow him into the den.

She sat down nervously, but before she could say anything, Nolan beat her to the punch. “Give it to me, Mikayla. I know you have worked on your opening remarks.”

She smiled, and that was all she could do. He had really studied her the past couple of months, and he knew her better than she knew herself at times.

“I want to go home, Nolan. Please.” Disregarding her notes, she spoke from her heart. “I’m ready to admit that I have a problem. I’ve let Blake abuse me for years and dictate my life. He chose me because I’m weak, and it needs to stop. You have filled me with the confidence to face this problem and not hide it anymore. Please let me go home.”

Nolan narrowed his focus on the silent Mikayla for a long time without saying anything. She wouldn’t be the next one to talk. She was waiting for his response. Finally, he said, “I will openly admit I care for you too much, and the thought of letting you go scares me because I know I will never see you again, yet I knew this wouldn’t last. So let me think; I still really want the entire six months with you, but I can see you are a changed person.” He grabbed her hand and said, “But I don’t want to let you go.” He was pleading his own case to her. “It was never about me in the first place.” He stood and walked to the kitchen to finish the dishes that were surely driving him mad in his absence.

An hour later, he knocked on her door but didn’t enter, and at that moment, Mikayla knew he wasn’t going to release her. “You’re not ready, not yet. But give it another month, and we will discuss it.” Before he knew any better, a coffee mug he had brought her the previous night was thrown his way and barely missed his face.

“You are a selfish son of a bitch!” she cried.

“And you are proving to me right now that you are a spoiled brat, and you aren’t mature enough!” he shouted her way as he slammed the door, leaving her to cry alone.

She stayed in her bed and didn’t move—she couldn’t. She was paralyzed, and what was worse she now felt completely torn. If she stayed any longer, she might not want to leave.

Her thoughts drifted to all the conversations they’d had in the past three months. Was it possible it was love or some psychological need that was being satisfied because he had been in control this entire time?

She loved Ethan—she was sure of it when she arrived here in the middle of winter—but now, could she say she still loved him?

She hated her brother. It wasn’t until her mind could make sense of all the damage her brother had brought on her did she realize he needed help. Staying with Nolan—or whatever his name was—was not going to make him face his obsession.

She needed to act like a brat to push him away and hate him, but the more he revealed his nature by how he cared for her, the less she could hate him. His heart was in the right place even though his actions were that of a psychopath.

Then her mom entered her thoughts. She could never live in this world without her mother. When most girls wanted to stick their moms in the back closet, her mother radiated everything that Mikayla wanted in a best friend. As odd as it sounded, she didn’t have the need for many friends in her life. Jill was the fixture that would certainly see her through, but after Jill, she had her mom, and those two along with Jenna were all she ever had time for.

In her mind, as much as she tried, and she certainly did try at that moment, she couldn’t hate him.

* * *

She found him in the kitchen an hour later with his head in his hands. “Nolan.” She touched his shoulders, and he jumped slightly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Pushing the chair back, he stood with tears in his eyes; a stark contrast to the cocky bastard he was with her most of the time. “Sweetness.” It was all he said, and in a second, he pulled her to him, and she was willing, molding herself to his body. Whispering above her head, she heard him say, “I’m a selfish bastard. I do want the best for you, sweetness, but I want you too.”

“This can’t go further than here at your farm,” she assured him.

“Is that what you want, sweetness? I will always do what you want. That is the definition of unconditional love. Your welfare is my only concern.”

Pulling back from his embrace, she stood to kiss him, and it was not hurried, but she felt the need to taste him and be as close to him as this fucked-up situation would allow. This time, he pulled away.

“Good night, sweetness. I think we both need some time to think.” He followed her to the room that had been Mikayla’s and locked her in for the night. After she lay on her bed, her fingers thinking of Nolan would be her only comfort.

* * *

Taylor

Her graduation was nearing, and still, there was no sign of the return of her soul sister. That was how she had started to think of Mikayla Miller. She had a connection with this girl, and as much as she tried to convince herself otherwise, she could feel it. She was happy with that analogy and didn’t have to explain it to anyone but herself.

In a couple of months, she’d walk across the stage and receive her diploma, then live at home for the summer while she started Western Washington University with early acceptance. She wanted to figure out the obsession better and planned to study psychology to help her explain this manic fixation. Plus, it would fit into her course load for education.

She had all but alienated her friends. However, the Taylor who was always the life of the party was no longer. She hung around Alyssa more than anyone, and although her parents still worried they weren’t harping on her. A little of the old Taylor returned, but mostly, the selfish Taylor was replaced. She didn’t miss the old her, so why should she try to make her come out from hiding. No, in her eyes, the new Taylor was really the best version of herself.

She decided for her future to embrace the new and improved version along with the realization that she needed some new growth, or she’d sit stagnantly. With her hands dialing the number and the phone ringing, she wondered what she’d say.

“Hello?”

“Amy?” she asked. “This is Taylor Jennings. We met at the library.” As she carried on a conversation with this girl, and they made plans, she turned around to her parents, as a tentative smile formed on both their faces.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you would mind if I went out tonight.”

It was then that her life began again. Though she knew she’d always have a special connection to this girl who took over her thoughts for several months, she had to exist in the world. The only way she’d sum it up was that she’d be paying homage to Mikayla finally; living her own life.

* * *

Libby

It had been years since she did anything for herself. The trip was just a couple months before Jenna’s nuptials and only three months after Mikayla was abducted. Looking at her computer with anticipation, she wondered if this could even be an option. Everyone encouraged her to take the plunge, especially Adam, but could she? What if she was away from the phone and Mikayla called?

Her counselor told her she was placing unrealistic expectations on herself. The trip itinerary was amazing. Ten days on a cross-country trip from Vancouver to Quebec sounded like a dream come true. It had been years since she left the house for longer than a day trip and for some odd reason, Libby was enamored by the countryside of Canada.

Fallon’s working theory was that Mikayla was in Canada. With quick access to the country, it was reasonable, yet she was not going to Canada for Mikayla. It was unlikely her daughter would turn up in a country as big as Canada anywhere near Libby. She needed a break from everything.

Her emotional health had been in question since Mikayla had gone missing. Yet here she was now, planning this trip with her support group, and at that second, she almost felt alive.

April was going too. The plan of the scenic train trip was for a change of pace. Her counselor highly recommended it for what she called—in her bohemian free spirit way—a palate cleanser. But what if Libby never wanted her palate cleansed? What if she liked the rough and disgusting taste on her tongue?

All she had to do was put one foot in front of the other and continue to walk. She could do it, but the question was, did she want to?