‘Ouch!’

‘What was that, my love? Did you hurt yourself?’

‘No, my dearest Ella. Why do you ask?’

‘I could have sworn I heard somebody crying out.’

‘It must have been my heart crying out in joy at the sight of you, my dearest, my loveliest Ella!’

His heart? My foot, more like! Behind the bushes I was hopping on one foot, my hand clamped over my mouth to prevent any further outcries. I nearly toppled over but was able to grasp a tree and steady myself. Not more than a few feet away, hidden by the brush, I could hear the soft ‘swoosh’ of a gown gliding through the wet grass and my little sister’s light feet as she hurried through the garden.

‘Oh Ella!’

‘Oh Edmund!’

Edmund? Edmund?

Peering between two bushes, I could see my sister standing at the wrought iron fence that separated our garden from that of the neighbours, clutching at the intricate ironwork as though it were prison bars separating her from all she desired in the world. And indeed, beyond the fence stood Edmund Conway, our neighbour’s son, staring at my little sister with an expression on his face that I could only describe as… besotted.

Eww!

‘Oh Ella,’ he said again.

‘Oh Edmund.’

‘Oh my love.’

‘Oh my dearest.’

They had said that already, hadn’t they? Why repeat it? What was the matter with them? Squinting through the brush, I tried to get a better look at them. Were they ill, maybe? Well, they definitely both looked slightly crazy. They had silly smiles plastered on their faces and kept staring at each other like there wasn’t a beautiful garden with trees and birds and a lot of other interesting things all around them. In Edmund’s case I might have understood that - my little sister was an eye-catcher. But there really was no excuse for Ella’s blatant staring. Our neighbour’s son was a perfectly ordinary male specimen: brown hair, brown eyes, two legs, two feet, and one head on his shoulders. There was nothing about him to justify such staring. He didn’t even have an interesting hunchback or a boil on his nose.

‘You are growing into a real Lady, Ella,’ Edmund said, his voice thick with emotion. ‘I watched you from the house when you departed in your fine coach.’

He watched her? He watched her, the villain?

‘Oh, it was nothing,’ she said, blushing, and not even because she was offended, no! Was this believable? She was actually pleased! ‘It was not our coach you saw. It was that of Sir Philip Wilkins. He invited my whole family out to his ball tonight.’

‘A ball?’ Edmund sighed with the pathos of a Shakespearean actor. ‘How I wish I could have gone to the ball and danced with you. How I wish I could just hold you in my arms once. But always this infernal barrier of iron keeps us separated!’

My eyes strayed from the pair of them to the ladder that leaned, not ten feet away, against the wall of the Conways’ garden shed. I was almost tempted to say something but wisely kept my mouth shut.

‘Not only this iron wall separates us, my love, as you very well know,’ said Ella. There was something glinting in her eyes. Tears? Tears! That rogue had managed to make my little sister cry! I was strongly tempted to go over there and clobber him over the head with my parasol but stayed where I was. My left foot was still damaged from the atlantean collision, and I wasn’t at all sure I could make it over there without landing on my nose.

‘What else can separate two loving hearts?’ Edmund demanded. ‘Ella… I love you. I wish nothing but to love you until my dying day.’

I heard a strange sound from a sister. Hiccups? No… It sounded more like a gasp of pain. But why the heck would she be in pain? I didn’t see any blood or other signs of injury.

‘Oh Edmund, do not speak thus to me, I beg you!’

‘Why not? Do you not love me?’

He actually looked wounded. No, more than that… devastated. Slight doubts were beginning to gnaw at me. Either he was a darn fine actor, for which I didn’t really think him smart enough, or he really… No! No, that couldn’t be.

‘Of course!’ Ella clutched the iron poles of the fence even tighter, and her knuckles turned white. ‘Of course I love you, Edmund! With all my heart!’

‘Then why conceal our love in the shadows, my dearest? Just think, it could have been me who danced with you at that ball.’

‘Edmund, please! Do not tempt me with these enticing visions!’

‘But why not?’ The desperate fervour of his voice was beginning to get to me. What if he wasn’t just an obnoxious, lecherous rake like ninety-nine per cent of his fellow men? What if he actually loved my little sister? I shuddered at the possibility. And even worse… what if she really loved him back?

‘Why, my dearest Ella, should I not openly proclaim my love for you? My family is not rich, but we’re well-off enough, and I am, while still young, a respectable man. Why should I not gain your love?’

‘You already have it.’

Edmund took a deep breath as if preparing to jump off a cliff into an unknown ocean.

‘What I mean, Ella, is: why should I not gain your love… and your hand?’

Ella paled and only managed to stay upright because she was clutching the iron poles of the fence. My desire to clobber young Edmund was instantly revived. How dare he upset her!

‘Edmund,’ Ella said, her small voice quivering, ‘you know it cannot be.’

‘But you say you love me?’

‘As a sister would her brother.’

This time it was Edmund who paled. Yes! Now you know what it feels like, you chauvinist son of a bachelor!

‘Ella! Consider what you are saying. Do you wish to pierce my heart?’

‘I wish I could love you another way, Edmund. I do, I so desperately do. But I cannot.’

‘Why not?’ Suddenly with colour in his cheeks again, the young blackguard stepped forward. He was now almost at the fence, only inches away from my little sister. I was vigorously massaging my injured foot, preparing to charge and save her from his evil clutches if necessary.

‘There is an impenetrable barrier between us, Edmund.’

‘I will tear it down, my love.’

‘You cannot, my dearest.’

‘I can and I will.’

Now tears were running down Ella’s face.

‘How would you tear down our birth, Edmund?’

‘Our birth doesn't separate us. We were born as soul mates.’

‘We were born worlds apart, Edmund. I am of the gentry. You, though the spirit of a king may live in your breast, are the son of a tradesman.’

‘An honest and prosperous tradesman. I could support you in the style to which you are accustomed. I would not dare seek the hand of a lady such as you if that were not the case.’

‘Oh Edmund!’ My little sister’s lower lip quivered so piteously that I almost started to cry myself. Only the knowledge that this fuzz was all about nothing but a load of romantic balderdash kept me from losing my dignity. ‘I have told you this a thousand times. The wealth of your family does not matter. It is the position of your family that troubles me. I know you to be good and kind and loving, but that counts for nothing with my aunt, who holds rank and pedigree above everything else. If she were to discover my love for you, the son of a common tradesman, we would be separated and never see each other again.’

‘So this is it? This is why nobody must know of our attachment?’

‘Nobody. Not even my dearest sister Lilly, the one who after you, Edmund, I love most in the world, knows of this, my dark and sinful secret. I have kept it close to my heart and have been most cunning in concealing it from the world.’

Covering my eyes with my hand, I slumped back into the grass. Yes, most cunning indeed - conducting a secret romance in the back garden of your family home. I mean, my dear little sister, how would it be possible for anyone to discover you there, or listen in on you?

Poor Ella. She would have a few nasty surprises coming for her in the real world.

I lay on my back, continuing to listen to their conversation. Some part of me was expecting Edmund to make dark and demanding overtures to my sister. I mean, he was a man, after all. But there were only flowery professions of love on both sides.

A lot of them.

A really great lot of them.

Maybe Edmund was actually a nice fellow. I had certainly thought so before this evening - before I had discovered he had his eye on my little sister. Maybe I should not immediately start to think of him as a ruthless rake. From what I could hear, he seemed decent enough, if a little soppy. Maybe I wouldn’t hit him with my parasol just yet.

‘But tell me, my dearest Ella…’ he began, frowning slightly. I raised my head. This didn’t sound like another one of those silly love-confessions. ‘Might we not confide in one person at least? Your elder sister, Lilly I think her name is, of whom you have spoken so fondly?’

‘Oh Edmund! How I would love to do that, to pour out my heart to my dearest sister!’

‘Which one was she, by the way? I have never yet had the pleasure of being introduced to any of your family, I just saw them the other day on the street.’

Ella smiled. ‘She was the one who returned your greeting. The only one. Oh, if only I could tell her how much joy she gave me in that moment! How I would love to disclose my love to her, to share with her my happiness!’

‘Then why not do it? She might be sympathetic to our plight.’

I chewed my bottom lip thoughtfully. Hmm. Maybe, fellow. If you behave.

‘She might also be a valuable ally, my dearest. The word of so good a lady as you described is sure to have weight with your aunt.’

Oops. Not so much luck there, I’m afraid.

I looked at Ella through a gap in the bushes. She looked slightly apprehensive. ‘Err… I don't know whether telling her about us would be the best idea. Lilly is a wonderful person, only… sometimes I think she is a tiny bit prejudiced against men.’

What? Me, prejudiced? Me?

‘Prejudiced against men, my love?’ Edmund frowned. ‘I don't quite understand. Has a man wronged her in the past?’

‘Not as such. I think it’s rather that she thinks all men wrong her just by breathing.’

Edmund looked even more puzzled by this.

‘Why?’

Ella leaned closer to the fence. Looking quickly around her as if she were going to say something very naughty, she whispered in a voice so low I had to strain my ears to catch the words: ‘You know, I think she secretly wants to be one. A man, I mean.’

My mouth dropped open. Of all the ridiculous…

I was seriously considering marching over there and giving my little sister a piece of my mind! ‘Wants to be one’ indeed!

‘How very strange,’ Edmund commented, still puzzled. I glowered at him from behind the bushes. What did he know? He was allowed to vote and to work for a living, and he didn’t have to conceal the fact.

‘That’s what I thought,’ Ella said, nodding eagerly. ‘However, I may be mistaken. And I really shouldn’t be saying such things. It is not very kind of me, after all, to insinuate that my own sister is stark raving mad. Really, deep down, she is a very gentle soul.’

Really? I certainly didn’t feel very gentle at the moment!

‘Then why not reveal the truth to her? She might take some time to get used to the idea, but once she got to know me that would surely change.’

Don’t be so sure.

‘Maybe, but… her reservations regarding men are not the only reason for keeping my silence,’ Ella confessed. Looking around, she continued in hushed whispers: ‘I have a feeling that if I reveal this dark secret to another soul, somehow it will be revealed to all the world. Sometimes I feel as though there is a sinister figure in the shadows, watching us and listening to every secret word we say.’

Well, well. My little sister was more intuitive than I would have believed. I had to admit I rather liked being called a sinister figure. It had an interesting ring to it.

So what are you going to do now, sinister figure in the shadows? I asked myself. You’ve just discovered that your little sister, whom you thought pure as the driven snow, is in fact head over heels in love with some man and is conducting a secret romance in your own back garden! What are you going to do about it?

The first thing that popped into my mind was telling my aunt. That would put an end to Edmund’s nefarious activities, and my little sister would be out of danger.

But then… I never told my aunt anything out of principle, and so far it had worked fine for me. Maybe I should be guided by my experience in this case.

Besides, looking at the expressions on the two lovers’ faces as they stared at each other… it somehow made me feel guilty for even considering to bring an end to their nocturnal meetings. Me, feeling guilty! I never felt guilty! Even when I did something for which I probably should feel guilty. And in this case I wasn’t, was I? I was only trying to protect my little sister.

‘Psht.’ Edmund stepped nearer to her. His hands closed around the iron poles, too. Their fingers were only inches apart now. ‘Do not be haunted by such dark thoughts, my love. No one is listening. Our secret is safe.’

Hmm… Was it?

‘We should be talking of happier matters,’ Edmund continued, smiling at Ella in that mushy way that made me want to find a bucket to stick my head into. ‘We have so little time together - I want to know about your day. You had a big day, today, didn’t you? Your first ball.’

‘Oh how I wished you could have been there,’ Ella sighed, her voice so revoltingly infused with soppiness that it gave me an intense wish for a bucket and a quiet corner. ‘I would have loved to dance with you.’

‘So would I, believe me, my love. But tell me how it was. Were you much admired? I wager all the other ladies were green with envy at your beauty.’

‘No, of course not!’ Ella blushed, though actually Edmund wasn’t so far from the truth. ‘Both the gentlemen and the ladies were very considerate, particularly our host.’

She began to tell of the ball: of how they had been welcomed, of how grand everything had been, of how Sir Philip himself had been so condescending as to dance with her. At first Edmund smiled, but every time she told of how Sir Philip had come back for another dance, his smile waned a little.

‘This… this Sir Philip sounds like the most attentive host I have ever met.’

‘Yes indeed.’ Ella smiled sweetly. ‘Only think, Edmund, his attentions still continued when I had left his house. He sent me a bouquet of flowers.’

Those words, however, did not have the positive effect on her lover my sister obviously expected them to have. He paled and took a step back.

‘Flowers?’ he gasped. ‘To your house on the same evening?’

‘Yes Edmund. But my love, my dearest love, what is the matter? You are suddenly so pale. Tell me, are you ill? What ails you, my love? What is the matter?’

Looking at Edmund’s face, I knew exactly what was the matter. Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t knock him out with my parasol after all. It looked as if he’d already been dealt a blow far deadlier than I could deliver - struck down by a bouquet of flowers.

‘Oh God, no,’ he whispered, and I could hear he understood what the flowers meant.

Ella was staring at the young man, deep concern and longing such as I had never seen before etched into every lovely line of my little sister’s face. It occurred to me that while to me this whole matter of the back garden romance seemed the most ridiculous thing ever, Ella didn’t share that opinion. This was life and death to her.

I suddenly knew what I had to do.

‘What is it that is wrong?’ My little sister repeated with rising desperation. ‘Why are you so deathly pale, my love?’

‘Because…’ Edmund’s voice broke, and he had to start again. ‘Because I think Sir Philip Wilkins might…’

He shook his head, unable to complete the sentence.

‘Oh, I may be over-interpreting things. But Ella, love, you must tell me immediately if he should send you any more flowers.’

An actress would have given her right arm for the perfect expression of puzzled innocence on Ella’s face at that moment. But the problem was: this expression wasn’t fake.

‘Flowers? Edmund, what can be so important about a few flowers?’

‘Just promise me, my love,’ he said with fervour. ‘If what I believe is correct - oh, I shudder to think of the possibility! If what I think is correct, then every single flower from Sir Philip Wilkins is an arrow straight to my heart.’

‘Then I shall throw them away directly,’ Ella exclaimed, tears in her eyes again. ‘What are a few flowers to me?’

‘No! You must not do so. You must not do anything that would arouse suspicion.’ Bowing his head against the iron poles and closing his eyes, he murmured: ‘You were right. I am beneath you. If any suspicions were to enter your aunt’s mind that you had given your heart to me, all would be over between us. Do not throw the flowers away. Do not do anything unusual. Act as though I didn’t exist and you were leading the easy, trouble-free life that you ought to have.’

I shook my head. Dear me, this was getting a bit thick. Did all people act like this when they were in love, or was it just Edmund?

‘Act as if you didn’t exist?’ cried Ella. ‘Edmund, without you my life would be nothing! The sun would not rise and all food would turn to ashes in my mouth!’

Yes. Apparently all people acted like this.

I didn’t pay much attention to what happened afterwards. Mostly they were talking about stuff that seemed pretty silly to me, like how much they loved each other, what would happen if they didn’t have each other (most of which seemed pretty unrealistic) and then some more about how much they loved each other.

Finally, when I had almost fallen asleep against the tree, the lovers’ talk was abruptly interrupted by my aunt’s calling from the house.

‘Ella! Ella, where are you girl?’

Anxiously, my little sister looked over her shoulder.

‘I must go. Farewell, my love,’ she whispered.

‘Farewell, oh sweet Ella, light of my life.’ Edmund hesitated, then plunged on: ‘May I ask, something of you, before we depart?’

Instantly I was wide awake! I knew it! I knew now he was going to… well, he was going to do whatever rakes do when they take advantage of innocent girls! I didn’t quite know what that was, though from the insinuations I had read in the papers, it couldn’t be anything good.

I stood up, preparing to defend my sister from that foul fiend!

‘May I…’ he hesitated again. ‘May I touch the tips of your sweet fingers to carry with me the feeling of your love? Please, my dearest, just extend a hand to me?’

What? That was all? I wasn’t too versed in rakishness, but I had at least expected something improper. He didn’t even demand a kiss? He had to be kidding! This fellow was too decent to be real.

‘Oh Edmund.’ Again my sister had tears in her eyes, and I was amazed to see her shake her head. ‘How could I? You know what my dear aunt would say? How could I so lay myself open to her disapproval and that of all my family?’

‘But she will not know.’

‘But my heart and conscience will.’

I tapped my foot against the ground impatiently. Well now, I was all for morals and stuff - after all, you couldn’t have people running around in the streets naked - but this was taking things a bit too far! Throw the fellow a bone, Ella!

Then I realized what I had been thinking and scowled. What was wrong with me? I didn’t want them to end up together. Did I? Didn’t I?

‘Please, my love,’ Edmund breathed, leaning closer to the poles separating him from my sister. ‘Just the tips of your fingers, just once. I need to know that you are real, not some apparition from the realms of angels or fairies that has come to beguile me with its loveliness.’

‘No, Edmund, I can’t…’

But apparently, Ella’s hand and her mouth weren’t quite in agreement about the matter: for while her lips denied him, her small ivory hand reached out, nearing the space between two of the iron poles. Edmund watched it, breathless, and I must admit I was pretty engrossed, too. This was better than the opera. Who knew romance could be this interesting?

Finally Ella’s fingers slipped between the iron poles, and Edmund’s hands flew forward, taking hold of them.

‘Ella,’ he breathed.

‘Just a swift touch, Edmund, you promised,’ she said, still with tears in her eyes.

‘And I shall keep my word. One touch.’ He led her fingers to his chest, to the left side where his heart was beating, and pressed them to the cloth of his tailcoat. ‘Here. Feel it, Ella, for it is yours. Now and forever.’

She gave a shaky nod, not having the words to reply. He let go of her hand, and she withdrew it, turning towards the house and hurrying away like a frightened doe.

*~*~**~*~*

I wandered back into the house some time later, deep in thought.

Well, well, well. My innocent little sister conducting a secret romance behind everybody’s back. In retrospect I felt like slapping myself for not noticing it earlier. I remembered very well that odd stare Edmund Conway had given me last evening as we had met in the street: yet he hadn’t really been looking at me, I realized now, but rather at Ella, who had been standing right behind me.

And I had asked Ella what that had been about, and she had lied.

Ella, lying! The little vixen! A grin spread over my face. I suppose I should have been upset about my own sister lying to me, but to be honest I was delighted to discover she had a share of deviousness. It meant we had something more in common than simply the same parents.

Now that I thought about it, I remembered, too, that morning when I had first gone to work, and Ella had immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was going off to see some young man. The joy in her face back then - it was the joy of somebody who had her own personal attachment, who knew what it was to love a man and find joy in it.

I shook my head. Some people really had strange tastes.

Luckily I wouldn’t have to deal with any men seeking my hand any time soon. The only man I would have to deal with again soon enough would be Mr Rikkard Ambrose, and for that particular relationship I would rather need my own pair of trousers and nerves like steel than flowery bouquets and compliments.

That night I went to bed with my head full of expectations and designs for the future, both mine and my sister's. I knew they would be very different futures, but as I looked over at the peacefully sleeping form of my little sister, I vowed that we would both be happy and successful even if I had to twist the arm of fate to achieve it!

*~*~**~*~*

The next morning we were awakened by a vehement knock on the door. Before either Ella or I had the time to rub the sleep out of our eyes, much less call 'enter', the door was thrown open and a mountain of flowers stumbled in, which on closer inspection revealed itself to be our aunt, carrying a cartload of bouquets and trying to conceal a triumphant smile. She did not do a very good job of the latter.

‘There! There, you see, Ella?’ she exclaimed, dumping her entire load at the foot of my little sister’s bed. ‘I knew it! I knew your beauty could not fail to capture his attention. You are almost as beautiful as I was at your age.’

Ella blinked, sleepily - then her eyes widened as she beheld the pile of flora at the foot of her bed.

‘What are these?’ she asked.

‘Flowers from Sir Philip, of course. Get dressed, girls. It is time for breakfast.’

She rushed out and we did as she had ordered. However, I dressed with even less care than usual. It was rather superfluous, really. It was a weekday. Soon enough I would be exchanging my dress for a pair of trousers.

I felt a slight tremor run through me at the thought of encountering him again. Fear? No, it couldn’t be fear. I was never afraid.

We went down and sat down to breakfast. For a change, my aunt was not in a sour mood over my uncle’s absence. Her mind was more pleasantly engaged.

‘Only look!’ she proclaimed, pointing at a particularly extravagant bouquet of large roses. She had ordered Leadfield to place them all around the room in various vases. How she owned that many vases was a mystery to me, since she never would have spared one penny to buy flowers herself. ‘Such beautiful flowers. This bodes well, don't you think girls?’

If she expected a reply to that, she was disappointed. Personally I didn’t think it boded well at all for Ella. Ella, for her part, didn’t seem to think it boded anything at all. Gertrude never spoke unless she had something serious to say, and Anne, Maria and Lisbeth, the only ones probably disposed to agree with Aunt Brank, were too green with envy to open their mouths.

Not bothered by this lack of enthusiasm, my aunt happily prattled on about her expectations while the rest of us consumed our porridge in silence, until finally somebody felt compelled to open her mouth.

‘To me,’ remarked Gertrude quietly, ‘the gentleman’s behaviour is not so delightful, my dear aunt. There seems something too rash in his manner. A gentleman must somehow show a lady admiration, that is true, but it is not quite right to be lavishing such expensive attentions on Ella so soon after showing interest in another.’ Her gaze strayed to Maria and Anne, not quite sure on which to settle. They both stared daggers at her.

‘Nonsense,’ replied my aunt, who did not know the meaning of the words 'too rash' and who would happily have seen three or more of her nieces married to Sir Philip Wilkins if English law had but allowed it. ‘The more attentions the better. It makes it more likely that we will be able secure him.’

‘Secure him?’ inquired Ella. ‘For what, pray?’

‘Is it not time to end your play-acting?’ hissed Anne. ‘You’ve gotten what you wanted, you can boast of it now.’

Ella blinked at her, dumbfounded.

Her aunt smiled at her sweetly. ‘That’s right dear, you go on being modest. It very well becomes you. No need to be so indelicate as to openly discuss the state of affairs until Sir Philip has acted on his resolve.’

That, I was sure, was a clue big enough that not even Ella could overlook it - but I was mistaken. My little sister appeared just as nonplussed as before. With a shake of the head, I turned from her puzzled countenance and concentrated on my porridge. It was an interesting question how, considering she was so modest as to not be able to see why anybody would want to marry her, she had managed to acquire a lover.

I would have to ask her that sometime. Or maybe I would find out soon enough by listening. I had already chosen the book I wanted to read that evening, when I would go into the garden again. Maybe I wouldn’t even need it, if the exchange at the fence turned out to be interesting enough.

The doorbell rang. Leadfield went to answer it and returned with another bouquet, for which my aunt indicated he should find a vase. More flowers arrived for Ella during the course of breakfast.

I was a liberal-minded person myself, but even I began to find this a bit excessive. Our house was in a fair way to be paved and wallpapered with flowers.

Now and again, I saw Ella glance at the flowers apprehensively. Every time a new flowery message arrived, she looked more puzzled, but I was sure she would not have been worried about them if not for the words of a certain gentleman.

Edmund Conway. Every time my thoughts turned to Ella now, my thoughts couldn’t help but turn to him also. It nettled me that my little sister’s happiness depended on a man. Anybody with sense would seek happiness in yourself rather than in another, because yourself you could always rely upon. But then, Ella, for all her loveliness and amiability, had never had much sense.

It was my job to make up for that. And I would see her happy, or that tradesman’s brat would rue the day he ever thought to play with my little sister’s feelings!

Still deep in thought, I didn’t look up as Leadfield came in, wheezing under the weight of the latest flowery message that, no doubt, promised marriage bells.

‘Another bouquet from Sir Philip Wilkins for Miss Ella,’ he breathed, as expected, and then added: ‘And one from another gentleman, for you, Miss Lillian.’

I nearly bit my spoon in half.