Thirteen - Ryan
Three weeks ago, I had no idea what being CEO entailed. I was running around in my party hat, thrilled by the name tag sitting idly on my desk. But ever since I started working, like really working, I realized what my father had been going through for the past twenty years. I realized that maybe I had done him a favor, but then I dismissed that thought because it was rather presumptuous. I knew my father loved his job, and I was in no position to take that away from him, but I did and I felt horrible about it.
For the past couple of weeks, I’d been running around the company like a madman, making sure that everyone did their job right. I’d never been so motivated my whole life. I ran in and out of offices, wishing everyone a good morning; I weaved my way down corridors; I hummed my way through elevator rides. I was turning into a version of myself that I loved. And in the meantime, I was thinking about Sarah, like a lot.
“Morning,” I said, barging into her office uninvited. She looked up from her laptop and smiled at me.
“Morning.”
“I got you some coffee; regular latte, no sugar, exactly the way you like it,” I said.
“You’re such a doll,” she replied, taking it from me and having the first sip.
“Careful, it’s hot.”
She pursed her lips together and licked the foam off her top lip. I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. Sarah and I had been working side by side since day one, and the more we got to know each other, the more I grew fond of her. “So, let’s get down to business.” I rolled up my sleeves and slumped down on her desk chair.
“Come on, man, it’s barely eight AM!” she said, sitting on the chair’s arm and nudging me with her shoulder. She leaned her body on mine, but I didn’t budge.
“Careful, the people might see us,” I said, my eyes darting back and forth.
“That makes it all the more exciting,” she replied, planting a kiss on my lips. I knew we needed to be professional about this, but I couldn’t hold myself sometimes and clearly, neither could she. “Anyway, I have some news for you.” I cocked my head attentively. “So, guess what? We’re done!”
“We’re done? Who’s done?” I asked in a panic.
Sarah laughed again. Her giggle softened the room, and her sound was so gentle, it made me feel warm on the inside. “My team, they’ve completed the software, with time to spare!”
“Oh my God, seriously?” I said, jumping to my feet. “Wow, you’ve raised them well.” I stroked my chin and looked at her. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
“Because I get shit done?” she asked me with her head tilted. I peered through the window, and when I made sure that no one was there, I tackled Sarah and literally, swept her off her feet. “Oh my God, stop it!” she yelled, her legs swinging in the air. I squeezed her once and then let her down gently.
“Are you insane?”
“That makes it all the more exciting, doesn’t it?”
She stared at me for a while before flipping her hair to the side and walking to her desk. “I’ll sit right here, thank you very much.”
“Let’s go out and celebrate,” I blurted.
“Like on a date?” she asked me.
“Yeah, like on a date.”
The blood rushed to her cheeks like she had just gotten asked to prom. She then nodded frantically, a sweet glimmer in her eyes. I walked up to her and kissed her again, but I could tell she was nervous. “Wait, wait,” she said, pulling away. “Can it be a movie date?”
***
We sat, engrossed, barely noticing the popcorn that failed to make it to our mouths. Sarah’s hand flailed for mine, and when our fingers touched, I felt alive. I looked over and Sarah was back in her seat, eyes open wide. My hand had moved like clockwork the whole time, going to and from Sarah’s hand and the bucket of popcorn between us. I appreciated her passion for life because I felt like she filled me with something I was missing.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “Wait so, did he do it, or did they all do it?”
I remember getting lost in her eyes. “I really didn’t think we’d be one of those annoying couples that talked during the movie.”
“Hey, I’ve always been that person,” she said. “You know I got kicked out once?”
I stared at her blankly.
“Kidding. I’m kidding.”
I heard someone shush us from behind, and so I grabbed Sarah’s hand and brought it to my lap. The tips of her fingers stroked my knee gently, and I got goosebumps all over. “What d’you feel like doing next?” I asked her.
“I love the city,” she told me. “Let’s take a walk.”
***
New York City was like no other. I had never been fond of it, in fact, I preferred quieter places, but when I saw the glimmer in Sarah’s eyes as she stared at those skyscrapers, I thought I’d give the city a chance. “Know what I always wonder about?” she asked me, leading the way down the sidewalk. “I wonder what those people are doing.”
“What people?” I asked her, looking up at the sky.
“Those people,” she pointed. “The people living upon those skyscrapers.”
“Well,” I said, holding her hand a little tighter. “They could be having dinner, or showering, or sleeping or fucking.”
“I like the sound of that,” she cocked her head towards me. “But I mean, isn’t it weird how all those people could be living in the same place, but doing all sorts of different things, all at the same time?” She paused, considering. “Two people could be ending their relationship right now as we speak… two people could be moving into the apartment right below theirs. It’s crazy when you think about it.”
“It is,” I said. She made me rather speechless.
“And you know what else intrigues me? The fact that there are so many colors. Red lights in windows, yellow lights in windows, gaps because the lights are off and people are asleep. It’s all so beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful,” I blurted, almost immediately. She turned her eyes to me and smiled that smile of hers. Then she leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek.
“You make my heart melt,” she said. “I know this is going too fast, but to be honest, I don’t mind that at all.”
“Me neither,” I said. “I haven’t gone out on a date like this in quite some time.”
She raised an eyebrow at me, almost like she didn’t believe me. “What about Samantha, and all those other women you’ve dated?”
I felt my stomach churn at the mentioning of her name. “They’re nothing compared to you,” I said, rather sternly. “I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been with a lot of women, but that doesn’t make me a bad guy.”
“You’re a grown single man,” she told me. “You have the right to do whatever you want.”
“Grown? Yes. Single? I’m not so sure.” I gauged her reaction. She turned her eyes to me, and even though she didn’t say anything, her thoughts were so loud I could almost hear them. I panicked for a moment because I thought I had upset her. “I mean, I could be single if you want me to be.”
“I do want you to be single,” she said, and for a moment my heart dropped. “So I can have you all to myself.”
I smiled. “Done and done.”
I held her hand in mine and we walked under a starlit sky. It was a brilliant Van Gogh, everything bigger and brighter, blurred in the most fantastic way. Just staring at the midnight blue canvas robbed my mind of every thought, the usual carousel of worries simply forgotten, discarded in favor of peace. There was a crescent moon as well; what else was there to know about? We just kept walking and walking, and talking endlessly.
“What else do you like about New York?” she asked me.
“You know, I think I prefer the countryside.”
“God, I hate the countryside. It reminds me of my grandpa.”
“Do you not like your grandpa?”
“Well, my grandpa from my dad’s side was a grumpy old man. He took care of me when my parents passed, but I hated him. He’d feed me lentil soup every night and make me clean up after the horses.”
“Do you not like horses?”
“I don’t like horse poo.”
“Well, I love the countryside,” I said again. “You know I own a house in the South of France?” I told her.
“Are you trying to show off?” She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows at me. I squeezed her hand a little tighter, and she leaned into me as we walked. “Hey,” she said, suddenly excited. “You wanna go into that Irish pub over there?”
I’d never been to Mori’s before. It was an interesting pub, full of people and tiny glass ships. I stared at the shelves lined with liquor bottles, and I smiled to myself because I was so excited to drink.
“So, you gonna have a beer this time, too?” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes at me.
“No, I’m gonna be adventurous this time.” I smiled at the bartender, who started making her way towards me. “I’m gonna have a Buttery Nipple.”
Sarah burst out laughing, and so did I. I felt bewildered by her; the way that her body moved as she threw her head back and laughed. The way that her hair danced along her shoulders as she spoke. My emotions baffled me because I couldn’t make sense of them. I hadn’t been in love in a long time… oops, did I just admit to being in love?
“I’m just gonna have a beer,” she told the blonde.
“Oh, are you, now?” I gave her a smug look. The hinges squealed all around us as people went in and out; laughter overpowered the jukebox; conversations swirled in a cloud of smoke; the sharp stench of alcohol wafted towards me. I watched Sarah sip at her beer. “You’re quite adorable, do you know that?”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” she replied, leaning in towards me. Our foreheads rested against each other, and she bobbed the tip of her nose against mine. I smiled like an idiot in love, while she flashed me a wry grin. “I can’t wait to be alone with you again,” she hissed.
“Oh, God, don’t do this to me. We’re in public,” I said. I could feel the back of my neck sweating. Sarah was just looking at me with those big blue eyes, blinking slowly, only occasionally. Her lips were slightly parted.
“You know what I wanna do right now?” She leaned in even closer to me. “I just want to snake my hand down those pants of yours, right now.”
“Stop,” I demanded, rather playfully. I remember getting progressively drunker, and as the night dragged on, we were getting more and more talkative.
“Oh my God,” she said suddenly. “You wanna dance a little?”
I looked around and no one was dancing, I’m not even sure there was a dancefloor, to begin with.
“Come on, I’ll put on some music,” she yelled, hopping off her stool. Before I could say anything, she ran across the bar and started fooling around with the jukebox. “I’m not really sure how to work this thing!”
Drunk Sarah was a blast, I had to admit. I ran to her, and the next thing we knew we were both wrestling the damn thing. “Fuck that,” she said, grabbing my hand and dragging me across the room. I bumped into a bunch of people, but I didn’t care because I was drunk enough. A few moments later, music started playing, and Sarah was twirling around in front of me like some kind of fairy. The music played over the dancefloor as if had fused with our bodies. I could feel the people’s eyes on us, and soon enough, they began to join us.
“You’re actually not that bad of a dancer,” she told me.
“When did I ever say I was bad?” I asked her. If anything, I loved that she challenged me, and I loved challenging her right back. As she turned her eyes caught me smiling at her, and so she pushed her body onto mine and we swept across an imaginary dancefloor. When I heard the music it was like liquid adrenaline being injected into my bloodstream, just enough to make my body tingle. Sarah, on the other hand, was amazing on the dancefloor; she didn’t dance to show off or to make the guys watch… but they did. It was like she was used to the attention and she liked it. “You’re driving me crazy,” I told her.
The rest of the night was a blur, but I remember making out with her like there was no tomorrow. Her lips were soft and fleshy, like a wildflower. She moved like water with my hands wrapped around her waist, and we hopped around until the late AM’s. At one point she said something about having to work tomorrow, but then she forgot about it and so did I.
“I don’t care about work right now,” I told her. “All we have is this moment, so we might as well live it.”