Stryder

 

Melody’s pain burned like acid on Stryder’s heart. The tears on her lashes caught the moonlight and looked like stars on her cheeks.

“I hate to see you in pain. Is this about the alcohol?” He wasn’t sure why she cared. Her future was with Brock who hadn’t hid the fact that he was a drinker. She shouldn’t care what Stryder did, with him or not.

“What happened with that? And Wild Turkey? That’s my dad’s brand. You can afford more expensive whiskey. Why…” She wiped her cheeks and sniffed. She lifted her chin and pasted a fake smile on her face as if they were just talking about the bake sale at the school.

They had to put their pride behind them. Okay, Stryder did. He had to put it all on the line. Right there. Stryder took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “To put it bluntly, I… well, I started drinking at your dad’s. As dumb as it sounds, the whiskey reminds me of you and growing up here. I drink it and it’s like I was keeping you close.” He shrugged in embarrassment. She would laugh at him. He wanted to laugh at him.

Melody’s whisper flushed him with even more shame. “Are you an alcoholic?”

Clearing his throat. Stryder shifted his gaze to the base of the large tree and kicked his toe at a tuft of grass. “You know, I don’t think so? I haven’t had a drink since I got here. I didn’t even drink tonight. I wanted to, but… Candy… got there not long before you. I was tempted and close, but I didn’t.” He laughed at himself. “I realized I didn’t need it like I thought.”

Melody nodded, stopping herself carefully on the swing and avoiding Stryder’s gaze. Her fake smile faded and she wasn’t pretending anymore. “Yeah, Candy…”

Would she be a hypocrite that she could be happy but he couldn’t? Not that he’d be happy with Candy, but that wasn’t the point. Melody was going to say she could have someone, but Stryder couldn’t? Stryder set his jaw. “Yeah, Brock…” He tapped his cowboy hat on the side of his knee with frustration.

Small wrinkles formed in Melody’s forehead as she tilted her head to the side in confusion and raised her gaze to Stryder’s. “What about Brock?”

“Come on, Melody. You and him. The big day, remember? Sooner rather than later and all that.” Stryder rolled his left shoulder. He wasn’t comfortable showing his jealousy, but how else was he going to convince her she belonged with him? Plus, he’d been eavesdropping. There wasn’t a lot of honor in listening to other people’s conversations.

Melody scoffed, a genuine smile spreading the gentle curve of her lips. “Ah, no, me and Brock? No. He’s buying the Vette. I need the money. I’m selling the house and using the car money to leave Two Rides. I think it’s the best decision… considering…”

Not her and Brock? Elation swelled in Stryder’s chest and then deflated at the mention that she was leaving Two Rides. “Leave? Why would you leave? This is your home.” Inside, Stryder was screaming. He couldn’t come back only to lose her that fast – even if losing her had taken all those years.

“I can’t watch you and Candy move back into your old place and reign over Two Rides. I don’t have that kind of strength, Stryder.” Melody smiled softly but wouldn’t look at him. A distinct flush pinked her cheeks. Why couldn’t she? He had to know.

“Me and Candy? No, I’m sorry. I wasn’t clearer. I sent her home.” He’d never felt so helpless. “The media never did get that part of my life right. There never was a place for Candy.”

“It doesn’t matter, right?” Melody leaned back and spun herself on the swing.

Stryder had to tell her, had to make her understand. “I need to tell you…” But how did he? Her dad had just died. Stryder didn’t want to speak ill of the dead and lately, there was nothing but bad to say about Clint. “There’s so much to say, but…” Regret chopped his sentences into small slices of incomplete pain.

She stopped the swing and met his gaze with tear-filled eyes. “I know, Stryder. I know.”

Stryder shook his head. She couldn’t. There was no way she knew about the things Clint had done, if she couldn’t give him a second chance. She’d accused him of never coming back, of not keeping promises. But he had. “No, you-"

Breaking in, Melody nodded again. “Stryder… I know all about the contract and the letters. I found them early this morning. Dad… well, Dad hurt us both and I don’t know why. I’m embarrassed and betrayed and horrified. There is no reason he could have had that would excuse what he’s done.”

Shame flooded Stryder. She’d known and she’d been selling the car. He could have waited and asked her about the letters, the contract, instead he’d run off in a prideful huff as if she would ever treat him as horribly as he’d assumed, as it has seemed. “I didn’t trade us for money, Melody. I didn’t. Your dad promised it would be the best thing for us. I could get into school, but my family couldn’t afford it, either. I thought he wanted to help us or I never would have agreed.”

Melody half-shrugged, offering a sad smile. “I know, now, it’s not your fault. I just wish you would’ve told me. I’m sure he made you promise not to tell, but I needed to know what you were doing. I needed…”

“Do you… Can you ever forgive me?” Stryder swallowed past the lump in his throat. Why did it feel like a final goodbye? Why did it feel like it wouldn’t matter if he fell to his knees and begged for forgiveness?

She softly shook her head. “No, you need to forgive me. I blamed you for losing us, but it wasn’t you. I could’ve done more, too, right?” She forced an over-bright smile. “It’s too late, now, though, right? We both have…” Her voice trailed off as if she didn’t know what they had, but it had to be something after all that time apart.

Stryder lowered his voice to a near-whisper, the hoarseness sharp in the quiet of the night. “I need you.”

“No, you don’t. You’ve done so well without me. I’ll just cause more problems for you.” Melody shook her head, tears dripping from her cheeks. Her hand shook as she futilely wiped her skin.

Closing the distance between them, Stryder grabbed the tire to keep her movement minimal. He had to make her believe him. He had to convince her. “No. I need you. You’re the only thing worth living for.”

“In spite of me, you’ve become so much, Stryder.” Melody didn’t move away from him. Her chest rose and fell with a panting style of breathing and she gave a slight hiccough as if she’d been crying a while.

Stryder refused to back down now. He wouldn’t hold anything back. He needed her and that was worth fighting for. “No. Hear what I’m saying. Because of you, I’ve succeeded. All I’ve ever wanted was to deserve you. You make me better. I need you. Can you… Is there a chance?” He had nothing left to do but take the chance. She was everything he’d ever wanted.

Could she ever feel like that about him again?