Honey

I woke up that morning resolved as to what I was going to do. I’d just parked at my grandmother’s when I got a call.

“H-h-h-honey.”

Jamie’s voice was rattled. By the time she’d gotten my name out, it had come out in such a rush it almost sounded like a sneeze.

“Jamie, what’s wrong?”

My heart had kicked up into high gear.

“Ar-ar-are y-y-you c-cc-coming bb-bb-back?”

The fact that her stutter was pronounced after weeks of getting better only worried me more.

“Yes, sweetie. I’m coming today. Where’s your dad?”

“G-gone.”

She had so much trouble speaking, I hated to ask more questions. But I had to know.

“Is he okay?”

“Y-y-y-yes.”

I let out a breath.

“Is your mom there?”

“N-n-n-no.”

That was good news for me. Maybe now was a good time to head to the ranch.

“Your grandpa?”

“Y-y-yes.”

She sounded more at ease. I wasn’t sure what was bothering her. I would head back as soon as possible as I was worried about her. I considered calling Jake but stopped myself.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Y-e-e-s.”

That made me feel better.

“I’ll be there soon. Okay?”

“O—” She stopped and took a breath. That meant she was calmer and remembered the skills her speech therapist had taught her. “Okay.”

I reassured her again that I would be there soon and to call me at any time if she needed me. I pressed the phone to my chest after we hung up, not sure I was strong enough for the conversation I would have to have with her when I arrived. I’d been careful not to call the ranch home in our conversation because I would have cried.

After another few cleansing breathes, I made my way to grandma’s door. I was there and didn’t want to miss the opportunity to check in on her.

When the door opened, it wasn’t her who answered my knock.

“Axel,” I said, blinking rapidly as if doing so would clear away not only my vision but his appearance.

He looked as good as the first day we met. His chestnut hair artfully stood on end, highlighting his perfect features, especially his baby blue eyes. They were one of his best features. He wore signature rock band gear with a faded tee and ripped jeans that clung to him in all the right ways. He was taller than me, but not as tall as Jake.

I shook my head, not wanting to compare the two.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

He waved me inside and I followed because I didn’t want to cause a disturbance by having a heated conversation in the open.

I pushed past him to envelop my grandmother in a hug. We trade kisses on each other’s cheeks. Then I turned.

“Now tell me again why you’re here.”

His brow cocked up as his glance landed on the fist I had planted at my hip. Granma patted my shoulder as if that would calm me down. I didn’t have time for this. Though I was sure Jamie was safe, something was off and I needed to get back even if it was only to say goodbye.

“You know I visit Grannie every time I have a gig in town. Ashlyn didn’t tell you?”

“No.” My eyes narrowed.

Was that the reason her boyfriend’s panties were in a knot? He worked at the coliseum in the city where Axel’s band played once a year almost every year.

“No?” he asked. “I thought for sure my brother would have called her the second we crossed over the state line. I guess he plans to surprise her.”

Shit. “Oh, that wouldn’t be good. She lives with her boyfriend.”

They hadn’t been up when I left considering it was early morning.

Axel’s grin ramped up. “Oh, you know Diesel. He likes a challenge.”

The fact that their names had been as unusual as mine had been how we first struck up a conversation a few years ago. But Ashlyn would not be pleased if Diesel showed up on her doorstep unannounced. Their story hadn’t ended the same way Axel’s and mine did. Hidden Spider’s leading vocalist wanted his cake and eat it too. Ashlyn hadn’t been amused.

I took out my phone and shot off a quick text to her when she didn’t answer my call. She was probably still sleeping. When I looked up, Axel was there, hands cupping my cheeks and brushing his lips over mine. Before I could push him off, he wrapped me in a hug.

“I missed you, Honey,” he whispered in my ear.

It was then he swatted my ass one good time that I shoved him off of me. Though I wasn’t totally mad at him yet. He laughed, knowing he was on his way to pissing me off.

Grandma intervened. “Come on, you two. Let me make you some breakfast.”

Mournfully, I met her warm gaze. “I really can’t stay.” Though the growl in my belly said otherwise.

She waved me off as if she’d heard and headed for her kitchen just as Axel said, “You’re rushing off. I hardly ever get to see my wife.”

I turned a steely glare at him. “I’m not your wife.”

“But you were.”

He poked his bottom lip out, taking the poison out of my venomous words. I was never able to stay mad at him. He was harmless wrapped in a super-hot rock star package.

“For like a day,” I said.

“More like a day and a half.”

His cocky grin had me rolling my eyes. “The half was so your lawyer could get the marriage annulled.”

“Not for my lack of trying. You wanted it over, not me,” he stated for the record.

I had. As gorgeous as he was, I didn’t picture myself married to someone who couldn’t take a piss without being recognized. That was unless he was in this small town like this one where country music was more of the norm to be heard coming out of speakers and earbuds. Still, he probably had to sneak out of the city to get here. No doubt fans would have been watching for their tour bus to roll into town.

“It would have never worked,” I said for the millionth time.

We’d been drunk and I’d admit I’d been more than a little self-conscious in the light of day. I thought he would have been mortified to find that he’d had one hell of a night with a big girl like me.

“You never gave it a chance.”

And there it was. Those damnable puppy dog eyes of his that made women drop their panties and not call him an asshole when he told it one night was more than enough. You just couldn’t be mad at a face like his.

In two strides, he had his hands on my hips and dipped me to stare longingly into my eyes. He was strong for his build, though he was slighter than Jake. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about Jake. It hurt my heart too much.

Axel drew me up. “I should just give up, shouldn’t I?”

I hated the genuine sadness written on his face and kissed his cheek.

“She’s out there. You just haven’t found her yet.”

“Or maybe she’s just too stubborn to see what’s right in front of her.”

I patted his cheek and didn’t say anything else. We’d found some sort of weird friendship through it all. Though we didn’t talk every day or even every week, we did connect once in a while. And we could talk about anything as long as it wasn’t about us.

Axel had a heart of gold, but he wasn’t ready yet. He may have thought he was, but he wasn’t. It was evident in the parade of women who ended up in his bed, including me that one crazy night.

My heart longed for Jake. He was settled and knew what he wanted out of life. Axel was living every day with zero cares. He wanted to see the world and I wanted a vacation not a life on the road.

Just as I was about to tell them goodbye, Grammie brought out two plates. A wave of hunger washed over me and I had to make excuses to myself that I had to eat, in order to stay. I told myself again that Jamie would be fine. Jake would never let anything happen to his daughter. That I was sure of.

So we sat and ate. Though I didn’t linger when I finished.

“Thanks, Grammie.”

I kissed her cheek.

“Where are you headed? Can I come?” Axel asked. There was the pout again and I laughed. “Don’t make me go back.”

His pleading cracked my resolve.

“Fine, I need someone to flex their muscles.”

What I needed was him to help me move. Not that I had furniture or anything. But an extra pair of hands would make it happen quicker. Maybe I could make it in and out without crying.