Surprised by my priorities, I had texted Jordan last night that something urgent had come up, but that I still wanted to see her and spend time with her. It was out of character and completely unlike me.

“That’s fine,” she had answered. But her words felt empty. I got the distinct impression that it was, just that. Fine.

“Morning,” I said to Flynn flanking my side, handing me a cup of black coffee, willing myself forward. “Everything set up?”

“Yes, sir.”

I knew what I would find once I arrived. My men all searching for answers, answers from me. Their spirit broken, their reactions filled with fury—and justifiably so.

After the news last night, followed by the visions of that brutal scene, my brain had refused to stop the instant replay. As the rage built, I resisted the maddening urge to punch the wall. Finding it difficult to think clearly over the clamor in my head, I forced myself to focus and stop the darkness swirling inside me. Finally, slowly, it began to recede.

“If everyone is ready to begin?”

I waited for the room to quiet as Flynn took my side.

“Travis, our brother, we all feel the loss deeply. He’s to be remembered as a fallen hero, in every sense of the word. To forever lay to rest in peace. Never forgotten, always remembered. We will honor him as his memory lives on.”

We all swallowed the anger and rage, as we had been taught to do. I wiped my brow, feeling the venom vibrating just beneath the surface. I was prepared to destroy, to slaughter anything in my path towards revenge.

“We’re trained to see things objectively. To rely on instinct, to be on guard every second. We’re trained to sense danger lurking behind every corner, and the strategies we’ve perfected are on high alert, but starting today a new level will emerge.”

I kept my expression neutral, void of any real emotion. I ignored the unwanted memories fighting their way to the surface. Still, they propelled me back to what had led me here today.

“Now we have to face the dark realities of our trade. We all entered into this profession well aware of the risk. We had to prepare ourselves for the hidden dangers, of what’s to come. Until we have answers, we lead on the defensive side, so prepare for battle.”

I scrubbed my hand over my face, trying to erase the violent reel spinning over and over in my mind. It seeped through the cracks, only to stir a nasty combination of revenge and retribution.

I leaned my elbows on the podium and held each man’s gaze, as if speaking to them individually. I decided to take a slightly calmer approach.

“Men, we will proceed with the investigation. Travis was our brother, and he will always be our brother. But for the sake of our sanity, within this particular investigation, each of us will have to detach emotionally. I don’t need to remind you that we are looking at the victim for the sole purpose of gathering information. We need to develop leads using a keen eye. Avoid seeing the man, at least for now.”

Flynn clicked on his laptop, and the picture blasted to life, causing all the men in the room to buzz in anger.

“Neck wound. What else do you see?” I asked.

Although I was prepared on paper, my gut felt the sharp pain as it had slithered through Travis.

“The attack happened in the elevator, and his cart is not disturbed,” one man pointed out.

“It looks like the attack came from behind,” another man observed. “The victim would have been facing the doors prior to opening. The question is, how did the killer get the upper hand? It looks like he had the element of surprise.”

“The blood pool suggests it all happened in that elevator, but where’s the surveillance?” another man asks.

Then Flynn stepped up. “I personally viewed every piece of footage of the camera feed, from every possible angle. There’s no cameras in the basement, and only certain employees had access. The killer had to know this.”

“I wouldn’t rule out a professional hit. It would take a lot to bring this man down,” another man pointed out.

I could sense that everyone quietly agreed with this assessment.

“Flynn, next one.”

Instantly, Travis’s chest is bared. The groans are heard amongst the room, but my men stay focused when they clearly saw the number one carved into his chest.

“Post postpartum?” someone asks. “There’s not much blood from the chest wound, compared to the neck.”

“Sick motherfucker.”

Sean a team leader, asks, “Who was the last civilian to see him alive? Do we know?”

“He was on the second floor, moving office to office,” I answered. “According to several workers, people tend to ignore maintenance workers, and we were lucky to have several eye witnesses.”

“Why was he down there? Weren’t the cleaning supplies kept in a closet located on each floor, for convenience?”

“Good question, Sean. We need to figure that out.”

“What if he was on to something? Would his earpiece reach Flynn from the basement?”

Bradley, the third man in operation and our computer expert, stood up. “He should have. We were all secured I tested each ear piece personally, and the frequencies checked out. But until we have an opportunity to reenact the exact locations, I can’t say for certain until we get back in.”

“I have more evidence for review, so please look it over, and after homicide gives us the go ahead to step back in,” I added. “We’ll have access to the autopsy and DNA findings, but not much else. The rest will be up to us.”

“Now the grunt work begins,” Flynn instructs the men. “All the details are included in your packet, so I’ll leave you all to do your job.” As I turn the podium over to Flynn, he was more than capable of taking it from here.

“Men.” He began. “The new operation is moving forward as planned. You’ve been briefed, you have your assignments, all men are in position to carry out their duties with the utmost efficiencies. Check-in time is in two-hour increments—no exceptions. I want each and every man here safe.” Flynn stated then I left the room and made my way down the corridor to my office.

Once back inside, I glanced at my phone, the tiny red-light blinking. A small flicker of anticipation rose in me when I saw it was from Jordan. Unable to resist the distraction, I replied quickly, and she got back to me immediately.

 

Hard day?

Very

Just come over, I’ll order in. 6:00?

Be there.

Need address?

No. Got it.

Interesting

 

At least my evening was looking up. Now I had to touch base with Mr. Carlson, about Whiskey.

“Don’t worry, Steel, he’ll be fine. I’ll keep him overnight just in case, you know.”

He chuckled, followed by a long, drawn-out cough, but I humored him.

“One can only hope. So, you’ll be home tonight?”

“No, Steel. I run the bingo balls at the church tonight.”

“Bingo balls? You sure that’s the name? Because if it is, it needs some work. You do realize that you have more of a social life than I do?”

“Don’t take life too seriously Steel.”  

“I hear ya’ have fun and thank you.”

I spent the rest of the day on my computer, seemingly more distracted than usual, fighting the urge to go over Travis’ case for the umpteenth time.

But I refused to allow it to take over my entire day. I left at four o’clock, making a few stops. Once home, I had plenty of time to shower.

My thoughts shifted to Jordan as I stood beneath the hot spray of water. The shower filled with steam, as well as my desire.

Time was flying by quickly. I didn’t do “late.” I dressed casually, in faded jeans and a gray cashmere with a white undershirt beneath. Then I slipped on a pair of dark boots, A spray of cologne, and I was out the door.

I typed her address into my phone’s navigation and picked up speed once I hit the long stretch of highway. A stupid smile planted on my face, the truth was crystal clear: Jordan brought everything else to a stop. Because of that, I was able to compartmentalize the actions of the last twenty-four hours and concentrate on tonight—and the woman I was beginning to know.

When I reached her quaint subdivision, it was not what I had pictured. I’d imagined a sleek condominium, or an apartment with steel and glass.

As far as the eye could see, there were rows lined with small, older homes. Yet they were well-kept, with vast green lawns and trees standing tall and proud. The sidewalks were busy as mothers pushed their baby carriages, and children were playing in front yards. There were dogs barking, and older couples swayed together as they sat on their front porch swings.

I reached her cottage-style house just in time, my heart thumping. I was pleasantly surprised by the charming, quaint home, and the welcome sign aged by years of exposure secured to the siding by the door.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon as I rang the doorbell, and a calm settled over me. Then the door swung open, and I was greeted by Jordan’s glowing face, her bright eyes excited and filled with energy.

“Steel, come on in.” She took off for the kitchen. “I don’t want it to burn.”

Whatever the reason, I was compelled to follow her. She was pulling a lasagna out of the oven.

“Did you make that?”

“You looked surprised.”

Her hands were planted firmly on her hips.

“Because I am,” I scoffed.

“It needs to cool off.” Her smile was contagious as her gaze landed squarely on mine.

“It’s not the only thing that needs cooling off.” I said.

She smiled uncomfortably and reached for a Heineken.

“Here, this should help.”

“Doubt it.”

“Follow me. Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

Gesturing for me to follow, we chatted as I helped her set the table.

“I thought we were doing takeout?”

“I changed my mind.” She paused, holding the silverware. “Tonight feels…like a new start.”

“Yes, it does.”

I allowed the air to move through my lungs at an even pace, but it had become a physical effort now. I was going for a cool casual vibe, and remaining calm was the only way this evening would go as planned. More to the point, I didn’t want to scare her off.

Her angelic white summer dress floated around her as she moved, the sweet cotton pressed against her upper body. Her soft shiny hair glimmered as the sunlight peering from the window reaches to touch her wavy locks.

She was definitely a breath of fresh air. Her unique candidness ripped through me, tearing down barriers built to withstand hurricane-strength walls. But with only a whisper, they shattered. Her gentle affection was given so openly, so purely, that my unsuspecting heart had been snatched before I’d realized it was gone.

She had seen the worst of me, and she knew my true nature. Yet she was still drawn to me. She brought out something in me that I didn’t even recognize. I was suddenly full of playfulness and laughter.

I didn’t recognize this man in me.

She set the steaming-hot casserole dish between us, as candles flickered golden and warm splattered around the table. She was drinking water again as I drank another Heineken while she served.

I took a moment to appreciate her efforts. I didn’t want to hold anything back with her. If she asked, I’d spill all my secrets willingly. She was making me long for something I never thought was possible. A future.

“Looks delicious.”

“You may want to try it first,” she smiled, revealing the beautiful way about her.

After my first bite, I was convinced.

“Oh, this is amazing.”

Her angel-like appearance, her inviting presence, and her humor melted the frozen parts in my heart.

Yet the question lingered in my mind. Could I live in both worlds and fully exist equally? I had never believed I could. But now, I wasn’t so sure. The answer would only come by trying, but giving myself this opportunity was risky, for both of us.

I was a mess of contradictions.

“Thank you, it was my mother’s recipe. This was her house, and when I lost her, I moved back in.”

“I see the appeal.”

It suited her in every way. Dinner went well, and we shared more than I had ever felt comfortable revealing. She didn’t run me off, and I didn’t scare her away. We talked about everyday things, like our favorite foods and movies, as well as our family and friends.

Then we moved to the living room and settled ourselves in comfortably. It was like I belonged here, or I wanted to belong. My heart pounded at the realization, but I tucked it safely away for now.

“He did not,” she said.

“Yes, he did.”

“No, Gunther never dated Rachel.”

“I think he did. You’re saying that he just held a torch for her for ten years? That’s impossible.”

“You’re wrong. They were never a couple. I’ve watched every single Friends episode at least five times each.”

“Okay, okay, you win. Poor, pathetic Gunther.”

“I have so much to teach you.”

She shook her head in amusement as she gathered the dishes. I helped load them, very aware of how domestic this all felt.

Then we lounged casually on her couch, her knee tucked underneath her. She was facing me, and I breathed in her delicate floral scent. It was hypnotic. The need to pull her closer was powerful, but I controlled myself and kept some distance.

“You mentioned you enjoyed reading.”

“Yes. I can’t believe you remembered that! It’s my downshift to sleep. I read almost every night.”

I reached for the white bag sitting on the floor by the couch, just where I had placed it when I arrived. Then I causally handed it to her.

“What’s this?”

The spark in her eyes felt much more personal than I had anticipated.

“A simple thank you.”

She opened the bag and pulled out a hardcover book.

“Two by Two by Nicholas Sparks. This is his new release. Steel, thank you!” Slipping her hand underneath mine, our fingers joined, and we both watched the transformation. Her skin was pale and soft; mine was dark and rough. “I’ll start tonight, and think of you.”

You do that.

I drew my eyes back to hers, and my gaze fell to her full mouth. I remembered that mouth very clearly. And now I wanted to possess it. I wanted to taste her soft lips and couldn’t postpone it one second longer. I leaned in slowly, and she met me halfway, permission granted.

It was a mixture of sweet and sexy, her lips pressed against mine. I ran my tongue over her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth, accepting me. I tilted just enough to take more of her. The warm, sweltering feelings easily turned to arousal as I felt my walls come tumbling down. Ignoring my gut, to move slowly.

One greedy hand rested on her bare leg, which was long and lean, and I drew circles on her thigh. The feel of her bare skin, was soft and silky.

I was a man who fucked. I didn’t know about seduction, or romance—only need. I certainly didn’t know how far to go and taking her to bed was not on my agenda. I knew the kind of woman Jordan was, and she was certainly not like the women I’ve known.

Of course, it was tempting to claim her, to make her mine and ease the hunger consuming me. But something stronger emerged. A feeling she was trying to hide, was I the rebound guy? And if so, was I okay with that?

 

I wanted more than just her body. I would require her entire soul, was it hers to give? The heartbeat under my chest was racing, my body burning for her—for all of her. I desperately wanted to satisfy my need to be hers.

How could I accomplish that when doubt hung just under the surface? My need didn’t seem to care either way. It only intensified. Somehow, I managed to fight the urge raging through me, my body still craving what I couldn’t have.

“Steel.”

She whispered my name, drawing it out slowly.

I inhaled a sharp breath as the waves crashed into me with such intensity it felt as if the lighthouse had called its ship home. But it wasn’t calling me home, she closed her eyes and turned away.

“I can’t bring myself to move forward, to seek out more unless I’m completely honest with you.”

“Okay, be honest with me.”

“I’ve held a torch for someone who doesn’t replicate those feelings, I want to be free from these chains, I want a new start. Only I can’t promise you that I’m capable of letting go.”

I didn’t recognize this side of me. This surprising gentleness, hidden behind the strong, fearless man, it’s all foreign to me. “But you want to?”

“I want to try.”

Something inside of me immediately shifted. The possibilities of a new chapter and a new life sprouted in my heart. Although complicated, I was willing to overcome the obstacles.

“I want you to know because of my chosen profession a relationship with me comes with unforeseen complications, as well.”

How could I explain it without scaring her off? There was no way to sugarcoat it. As long as she was with me, there would always be an unknown factor, and she might not be able to handle my baggage. That worried me. 

“Par for the course,” she whispered.

A smile pulled at my lips, and I was unable to hold it back. An unfamiliar feeling warmed me. It was hope.

She nestled into the nook under my arm.

“So, friends?”

“Yes, to start.”

It was pitch black when I began to leave. I couldn’t break away, compelled to stay. I wanted to give her everything, every part of me, hers to keep. One kiss…

Would I fight these new feelings she stirred in me? Could I actually find a balance between the two? My fear would be to fail at both. My dedication to the team required 100 percent focus. Where did that leave Jordan? Didn’t she deserve the same? Or did she want the same, I wasn’t sure just yet.

Driving up toward the mountains, my thoughts returned to Travis, retracing the case in my mind. I imagined his last moments: what he felt, what he saw, when he knew it was all over. Images of a cold dark night propelled me back to my own battles. I’d been through wars and fought at the enemy’s line. Yes, men were lost in combat, but that was expected. This however, wasn’t. I never thought it would be one of my own men, one of my team that I’d lose, not like this.

My mind was swirling with unanswered questions, I activated my SUV’s phone feature and said, “Call Flynn.”

He answered on the first ring.

“Sir?”

“I know it’s late, but I was curious if there were any new updates?”

“In fact, yes, a small finding. I intended to share it with you in the morning. I revisited the video surveillance, frame by frame, and there’s a moment prior to Travis entering the elevators where one of the other four elevators is used by a second maintenance man. He’s dressed identically to Travis in the standard uniform, pushing an identical cleaning cart.”

“We need to confirm who that second man was. I think you’re on to something. That doesn’t feel right to me. They work in shifts, not teams.”

An eerie sensation clawed at me, as if I were missing a crucial element directly linked to the personal nature of the crime. It was something I couldn’t name, but my gut clenched all the same.

“A simple phone call will answer that question. I plan on doing that first thing in the morning. That about covers it, sir.”

“Thank you.”

But I had to consider whether the answer we were looking for would involve Morton Software, the company that had hired us. I’d address that in our . Right now, all I wanted was to get home.