I WAKE UP Monday morning, my eyes fluttering open slowly to adjust to the sunlight pouring through the window, and I notice immediately that I’m alone and not in my bed. Glancing over at the clock, I note the time is nine forty-two a.m. and realize he’s probably gone to work after trying to wake me countless times. I really need to figure out a way to be woken up out of my slumber. What if we eventually have kids and they try to wake me up to make them breakfast or some shit and I’m dead to the world? Jesus, did I just say if we eventually have kids? When have I ever thought about having children before? Never. I’ve never thought about having children. I picture a miniature Reese meandering around the house, trying to keep his siblings in line and raking his hands through his wild hair when they don’t listen. I giggle silently at the thought and quickly push it out of my mind. Crazy, Dylan. Utter craziness.
I crawl out of bed and duck into the bathroom briefly before finding my clothes scattered all around the couch. The memory of their quick removal sends a shiver through me. That was fun. I should challenge his desire for me more often. Slipping on my panties and his University of Chicago T-shirt, I find my phone and quickly dial Joey, feeling like a complete idiot and shitty friend for not having called him last night after the break in.
“Cupcake. What the fuck, girlie? Can you believe that psycho broke our window out?”
I plop down onto a dining room chair and begin rubbing my head. “Well, at least we think it was probably her. I’m so sorry I didn’t call you last night, my mind was all over the place.” I sigh heavily as the image of the hooded figure creeps into my mind.
“No worries, your casual fuck buddy called me when he was on his way over to rescue you. I’m sure he figured you had other things on your mind than reminding your assistant not to show up to work today.” I grunt at the casual fuck buddy reference and spot a piece of paper hanging off the edge of the kitchen counter. I reach over and grab it, noticing my favorite handwriting.
Dylan,
I have no fucking clue how I ever survived not waking up to you. And before you say anything, yes, I did try to wake you up to go for a run with me. You were adorably out cold, as usual. Enjoy your day off.
X Reese
P.S. Here’s a spare key if you go out today. Keep it.
Swoon.
“Hey, so listen, I have some phone calls to make to the insurance company and to find someone to put in a security system and a door above the stairs, but when I’m done, any chance you could pick me up and take me to Reese’s office?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m pretty bored myself over here since Billy’s gone to work. What’s going on at the office?”
I smile. “Oh, you know, the usual. Just me going to finally tell our favorite numbers guy that I’m madly in love with him.” I hear the phone drop and Joey’s insanely high pitched screams.
“DYLAN. Oh, my fucking God. Yes, girl, yes. Hurry up and make those stupid phone calls and then text me when you’re ready. Ooohhh, I’m bursting over here.”
“And don’t say anything to Juls. I’d hate for her to leak it to Ian who would most likely blab. I feel like those men talk just as much as we do sometimes.”
“Mmmm mmm. Don’t you worry; my lips are sealed on this one. Take care of your shit, and then let’s get to the important matters at hand.”
I call the insurance company and make sure I won’t be responsible for any of the damage from the break in. They assure me the window is in fact being repaired during our phone call, and I will be up and running by tomorrow. Grabbing Reese’s iPad off the bed, I look up the number to a security system company and get an estimate on a top of the line alarm system to install. Using the commission from Justin’s stupid wedding, I go ahead and arrange for the men to come today and set it up. That way, it will also be ready by tomorrow. I’m not sure who the hell to call about getting a door put in, so I dial my parents and hold my breath knowing I’m about to get a huge ear full for not having called them last night.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Dylan. Something horrible could have happened to you. You could have been raped, murdered, Jesus Christ. I can’t believe you’re just now calling us.” My mother’s tirade goes on for a good ten minutes before I’m able to get a word in.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry I didn’t call. But I’m fine. Nothing happened and we’re pretty sure we know who it was and the police are looking for her.” Stupid red headed bitch.
“Her? It was a woman? What kind of a woman throws a brick through a store window? Good grief, what is the world coming to?”
“Just some ex-girlfriend of Reese’s, Mom. Look, everything is fine. The window is being repaired right now and a security system is being installed today as well. I just need to talk to Dad about putting a door in to separate my living space from the bakery.” Which, really, I should have done years ago. I just didn’t feel the need to do so until now. That or I could get a guard dog. No, that has to be unsanitary around all those baked goods.
“Ex-girlfriend? Humph, a woman scorned no less. Well, at least you’re safe and this finally makes you put in a well overdue alarm system.” She exhales forcefully. “Here’s your father. Bill, go easy on her, she’s fine.”
“Dylan, sweetheart, you’re all right then?” My dad’s voice is incredibly calm compared to my mother’s, but that’s always been his personality. I definitely get my short fuse from the women in my family.
“Yes, Dad, I’m fine. But I need to get a door installed at the top of the stairs leading from the kitchen. How do I go about doing that?” He immediately goes into daddy-mode and tells me not to worry about it, he will head to a local hardware store today and purchase a door for me. When I tell him I can handle it, he shuts me up quickly and I let him. I don’t think there is anything my father enjoys more than doing something for me that keeps me safe. After I am reassured it will be taken care of today, I hang up, text Joey to head on over, and hop in the shower.
I relish in Reese’s shampoo and body wash, letting the steam create a cloud of his yumminess all around me as I clean up. I’m surprisingly not nervous at all about telling him I love him. After last night, the love making, him telling me I make him want things he’s never wanted before, I feel empowered to do this. I quickly slip into a pair of jeans and a cute top as a knock on the door sends me dashing through the condo. I fling it open and beam at my assistant.
“AH! I’m soooo excited. Please let me be there when you tell him.”
“What? No way. This is a private moment. You may wait outside.” I slip into my shoes and grab my cell and the spare key Reese left for me, slipping it onto my key ring and locking up behind us. “Okay, let’s do this shit before I lose my nerve.”
We stop by the bakery on the way to his office. The men who are in charge of replacing the window are just finishing up and have me sign a few pieces of paper before they give it a final wipe down and leave. Joey and I both watch the security guys go over how to arm and disarm the system, giving us both the code and a few forms to sign as well before they too hit the road. My mom sent me a text informing me that my father has purchased a door with an insane amount of locks and he will be stopping by later on today to install it. I won’t have to stick around, because other than Joey and myself, my parents also have a key to the bakery. So, after piling back into the Civic, we finish the short drive to the Walker & Associates building.
“How nervous are you right now?” he asks me as I sit in the car, and trying to find out where the fuck all my bravery has disappeared to. We’ve been parked outside the building for at least ten minutes and I haven’t budged.
“Uh, a lot. Maybe this is a bad idea?”
“Fuck that.” My seatbelt is unbuckled for me as he reaches across my body and opens my door, giving me a quick, but gentle, shove out of the car. “Go do it, Dylan. That man in there loves you fiercely. It’s written all over his beautiful face. But I’m afraid you might be the one to have to say it first. Damn it, I had my money on Reese being the one to crack before you did, but oh, well.” I quickly run my fingers through my hair and give him a weak smile. I’m certain he means what he says, no doubt a small wager having gone on between him and Juls. She’ll never let him hear the end of losing to this one.
“Okay, thanks, Joey.” He winks at me as I close the door and walk into the building and toward the back of the lobby where the elevators are lined up. My hands are clenched into fists and I’m shaking a bit, but I’m here and I’m fucking doing this.
Stepping off the elevators and onto the twelfth floor, I walk straight past the first reception area and toward Reese’s office. I haven’t even thought about the fact that I’ll be seeing a new face sitting behind his reception desk until I see it. And it is a lot manlier.
“Good afternoon. How may I help you?” The young man, dressed sharply in a dark suit greets me with a crooked smile. His dark brown hair is slicked to the side with some sort of product. Hmm. I like him already.
“Hello. I was wondering if Mr. Carroll is available.”
“Oh, actually he is in Mr. Thomas’ office right now with a few more associates having lunch. Would you like me to call him?” He reaches for his phone but I shoot my hand up to halt him.
“Oh, no, that’s okay. I know where Mr. Thomas’ office is.”
He gives me a warm smile and places the phone back down. “Wonderful. Well, go right on and knock since his receptionist is out at lunch. Have a nice day.”
“Thanks, you too.”
Man, he is cheery. I can’t help but giggle at the fact that Reese hired a man to be his receptionist instead of a woman. I walk quickly toward Ian’s office, seeing the door already a few inches open, and go to knock when my favorite voice halts me.
“She’s fucking psychotic. I’ve never had a girl go that nuts on me after I tell her I’m done fucking her,” he says through a partially full mouth. The man does love to talk with his mouth full. I smile slightly and shake my head.
“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure most women you stop fucking usually flip out on you in some way or another. But that’s really fucked up that she targeted Dylan like that.” I recognize Ian’s voice and cross my arms over my chest, leaning against the wall as I listen in. “She obviously hasn’t had the pleasure of seeing Dylan’s pissed off side. Pretty dumb move on her part.”
A third voice chimes in that I’m not familiar with. “Who is this Dylan chick anyway? She hot?” Ahhh, yes, so glad I arrived here at this exact moment. Nothing like a little ego boost to brighten a Monday.
I hear chip bags ruffle. “Hot doesn’t even begin to describe her. She’s fucking beautiful,” Reese answers and I bite my lip.
“He met her at Mr. Walter’s daughter’s wedding a few weekends ago. She’s Juls’ best friend and one hell of a baker. She owns Dylan’s Sweet Tooth on Fayette. That’s the store that got the brick thrown through the window,” Ian says through a mouthful.
“Shit. So, you like this girl or is she just another one of the many women that Reese Carroll destroys in his path?” The third voice asks and I brace myself. Jesus Christ, that sounds horrible. Although, I can totally see how it applies. He is a force of nature.
Silence fills the room, several long seconds of silence. I hear a few throats clear and then his voice.
“It’s not serious if that’s what you’re asking me. You know I don’t do that shit. I like fucking her, so I do.” My mouth and my heart drop at the same time as I hear Ian’s voice say something in response to his description of our situation, but I don’t register it. Instead, I run quickly for the elevators and slip in the first one that opens.
“Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, shit.” I’m gripping the wall in the empty elevator as it takes me down to the first floor, my head spinning and my heart no longer with me, having left it on the floor outside of Ian’s office. I can’t believe he said that. After everything. After last night and after his birthday. I’m still just someone he likes to fuck. That’s it? The doors open and I run through the lobby and toward the red Civic that is still parked on the curb. Joey is leaning against the passenger door with his phone up to his ear. My appearance makes him end his call.
“What happened?”
“Take me to his place, now. I need to get my shit.” My face is covered in tears and he moves quickly, not asking any more questions as we both pile into his car.
The drive doesn’t take long and Joey remains silent as I burst into the condo and grab my duffle, aimlessly throwing my belongings into it and triple checking that I don’t leave anything behind. Because I’m never coming back here to get it. I grab my items out of the bathroom and break down when I spot his body wash, wanting to take a final whiff of it, but managing to pull myself away from the shower before I can let that happen. I run to his bedroom and grab the notebook that I got the pen out of last night and bring it out to the dining room, opening up to a blank page and grabbing the pen. I feel Joey’s hand on my back as he comes to stand next to me.
“Dylan, what happened?”
My hands are shaking as I hover the pen above the paper, not sure what exactly I want to write for him to see. There’s so much I want to say. I want to tell him how badly he’s fucked up, how much I love him, and how angry I am at him for making me fall in love with him. Because that’s exactly what he did. He pulled that love that I had buried down deep inside me right up to the surface, and now I’m drowning in it. I wipe under my eyes and look up at Joey.
“He doesn’t love me. He’s just fucking me. He doesn’t do serious.” I take in a deep shaky breath. “I’m done.” My hand begins to move as he brings his over my shoulder and holds me while I write. It’s a sloppy mess, but it’s legible. I leave it open on the table for him to read.
Reese,
I can’t do this anymore. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding someone who can give you what you want, but it’s not me. Please let me go.
Dylan
Turning, I drop my head against Joey’s chest and cry harder than I’ve ever cried before. His arms envelope me and he whispers reassuring words into my ear as I sob, drenching his navy blue polo shirt.
“Sweetie, did he really say that?”
I nod. “Yes. He said he doesn’t do serious and he’s just fucking me because he likes to.”
“Shit, Dylan, I’ve seen him with you. He’s not going to let you go without a fight and you know it.”
I shake against him and grip him closer to me. “Joey, I can’t do this with him. Please make sure he understands that I can’t see him. I fucking can’t.”
I back away from him and see him nod weakly, most likely fearing the Reese tirade that he will certainly be up against as I grab my keys and remove the spare one he gave me, placing it on the note I just scribbled. I look up at him. “I really hate to ask this, but would you and Billy mind if—”
“Fuck no. I already decided that you’re moving in with us until this shit blows over. Reese will break through that new window of yours if he knows you’re upstairs in your loft.” I give him half a smile and pick up my duffle, swinging it over my shoulder as the tears begin to fall again.
“Come on, cupcake. You’ll be okay.” And with one final look, I lock up behind us and let Joey move my body down the hallway and toward the elevators, because I have no control of it myself anymore.
After a quick stop at the bakery to pick up some things, Joey takes us back to Billy’s condo and quickly pours us two massive glasses of wine. He offers me the guest room, which I place my stuff down in before zoning out on the couch, staring down at my glass. I’m still crying, but not as heavily, only a few tears streaming down my face in between blinks. I’ve rubbed and cried off all my makeup and haven’t dared to look at myself in a mirror for fear as to what I might see. My heart physically aches, like it’s slowly being pulled apart by some unseen force and it’s taken its ever loving time doing it, too. I just wish it would speed up the process and rip it to shreds already. After several minutes alone with my thoughts, Joey joins me on the couch with a heavy sigh.
“I’m so fucking confused right now. Dylan, I really thought, shit we all thought Reese wanted more than just some casual bullshit.” He grabs my hand as I keep my head turned down toward my glass. “I’m so sorry, cupcake. Do you want to call Juls?”
I take a massive sip, hoping to dull some of the pain because alcohol is the poster child for broken heart syndrome. “I will, although I probably don’t have to. Once my note is discovered and he can’t find or talk to me, he’ll be calling Ian who will in turn inform Juls.” I swallow another gulp. “I feel so stupid. Everyone warned me about him, you especially. Telling me what Billy said about how he doesn’t and will never do a relationship.” I shake with my cries and have to put my glass down, covering my face as it all comes back again. “I hate him.” Joey wraps me up and hushes me as I convulse with intense sobs against his body.
This is it. This is what being broken feels like. And a man that I wasn’t even in a relationship with did it to me. Fucking hell.