In the end, it was a sort of earthquake that woke him up. Something was shaking, vibrating the whole entire bed.

Josh sat up fast. Too fast. The world spun around him and he wobbled from one side to the other, grabbing at his head as if that could steady everything. “Damn,” he swore, whimpering softly. The dizziness was so fierce it actually pained him, making him gasp. To his exhausted ears, the gasp was painfully loud. His neck ached, too.

And still the shaking continued, so it hadn’t been a dream that woke him up. Looking around, he realized the source of the shaking wasn’t the bed itself but rather someone in the bed.

Blake had pushed away from him at some point while they slept and now he was curled up, trembling uncontrollably. His mouth moved as whatever bad dream he was having continued to torture him. Tightening and relaxing, his flexing fists twitched as if he was throwing punches against an invisible enemy. Then his eyes snapped open and he let out a snarl.

Josh scooted away and almost fell back off the bed, eyes going wide. “Hey!” he said. “Hey, Blake! Blake, wake up!”

The alpha stared at him, uncomprehending. Josh reached out to shake him out of the dream and then reconsidered it, since he didn’t want to lose his hands to those pointed fangs. “It’s okay,” he said. His throat was tight with worry and sympathy. There was no doubt in his mind as to what the alpha dreamed of that disturbed him so. “You’re okay. It’s over. You’re in your bed. With me?”

Blake kept staring. His throat worked and he licked his lips. “Who...are you?”

A lightning bolt of panic seared through Josh, stealing his breath...until he saw the alpha was laughing. Scowling, he swatted him on the shoulder and then crossed his arms. “You fucking jerk! That’s the last time I worry about you.”

Blake held up his hands. “Geez, don’t hit me anymore. Sorry. I couldn’t resist. Your worried face was just too much to resist.”

Pouting, Josh swatted him once more and crossed his arms again. “I was going to comfort you, but I think now you should be apologizing to me. You were having a nightmare.”

“Yeah.” Some of the light died from Blake’s playful gaze. “I was. I’d rather not talk about it, if it’s fine with you.”

“Sure,” Josh said, very softly. Then, because he couldn’t help it, he said, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Blake waved one hand, trying to push the topic away. He bared his teeth in a fierce grin, forcing the question “Is this enough of an apology?” then leaning in and softly pressing his lips to Josh’s.

Josh blinked, a little surprised. Despite the forced ferocity, this kiss was far gentler than anything which passed between them before. It was not a give-and-take but a soft melding, a joining of their bodies during which neither attempted to gain control. He closed his eyes, sinking into it, feeling tender warmth ignite inside him and spread outward through his aching body. Adrenaline replaced pain.

“Blake,” he murmured.

Withdrawing just enough to still be able to speak, their lips still brushing together, Blake murmured, “Do you forgive me yet?”

Josh sighed and tried to scowl, which was difficult when his heart was starting to pound, and he was breathing a bit too fast. “Um...No. I think I need a little more of an apology than that.”

Blake’s dark hair flopped down over his forehead as they moved together, bodies adjusting. He gazed up through his bangs like a wolf sighting down his prey from beneath tall grasses. “Get me going and I won’t stop.”

No longer capable of thought, Josh caught his breath and then flicked out his tongue to lick the other’s lips. They kissed again, deeper than before, lips exploring, brushing together. His hands roamed of their own accord, exploring muscles with an unfamiliar hunger. Before, he had been content to be taken and claimed. Now, he wanted to actively participate, to discover his lover as his lover discovered him.

Blake gripped his back, fingers digging against his spine. Their chests crushed together, fabric rustling between them. He growled against Josh’s lips, the vibration shaking both of them. It was another earthquake, but a more pleasurable sort this time.

Josh shuddered and slid his hands over Blake’s broad shoulders, exploring the bulges of muscle and then straying up to the tightly-corded muscles in the back of his neck. “You’re so tense,” he murmured, words incomprehensible with their lips so close together.

“Not for much longer.” Blake bit at Josh’s lower lip, making them both shake again. “I want you. I want to...apologize.”

Josh kissed him harder, whimpering in his eagerness. He had been aware of a nagging hunger but that had translated now into a different sort of hunger, a sexual desire which had him biting and sucking at the mouth pressed to his. His loins tightened, and he could feel himself hardening, his manhood pressing against his thigh. He dropped his hands from Blake’s neck, trailing down over his chest and then dropping to his lap.

A second later, he found his hands pushed roughly away. Blake held his wrists with one of his, lifting up his other hand to cradle Josh’s face. “I don’t think so,” he growled. “I’m the one apologizing here. You just lie back and let me do what I need to do to make sure you forgive me.”

“Blake,” he gasped. “Please, I...”

“No.” Blake started to push him onto his back, spreading his legs wide as he went. He straddled Josh with a leg on either side of his body, letting his weight be felt without crushing him.

Josh would have been content to just stay there forever, feeling the solid weight of the alpha whose soul his was connected to. However, the rest of his body demanded other, more active things. He grabbed at his shirt and tried to treat it off, only succeeding in tangling himself up. He waved his arms helplessly, starting to laugh.

Blake ripped his shirt freeing him, not that he cared. He did care a little more that his wasted body was on display. Taking off his shirt was something he immediately regretted. The bedroom was dark, with only a few filmy rays of morning sunlight filtering in through the window, but that didn’t matter to wolf eyes.

“What’s the matter?”

He looked up into Blake’s eyes. His momentary distraction meant he hadn’t noticed that Blake had his own shirt off now and was in the process of pulling his zipper down. “Oh...Nothing.”

“Don’t pull that girly shit on me,” Blake said. He frowned, playing with his zipper, sliding it up and down teasingly to flash little hints of his bulge. “Nickie does that shit all the time. We’re men. We say what we mean.”

He didn’t know who Nickie was but the point was made. “Fine. I’m...self-conscious, okay?”

Blake paused, hand dropping away from his fly. Josh trembled with disappointment, worried that he might have ruined something here, but Blake still shook as if he was straining for control. “Why?”

“I...”

Blake leaned down over him and pressed their lips together again, silencing him. His tongue forced its way into Josh’s mouth, pushing past protests to explore. Withdrawing again, he said huskily, “Your lips are soft.” It was such a simple statement and yet the words threatened to set him ablaze, making his insides quiver with silky heat.

Another kiss settled on his lips, feather light, then dripped down off the corner of the mouth and slid luxuriously to his chin. Pressed against him, Blake spoke with a lot of hot breath. “Your chin is cute.”

Never before would he have dreamed of describing a chin as anything so...subjective. Chins were a forgotten body part, like elbows and knees, hardly worth mentioning. They were sharp or pointed, or weak, or square. Nothing else. But now his was cute, and the world seemed to shift a degree with this influx of new knowledge.

Again, the kiss slid lower, pausing this time at the softest, lowest part of his throat. “You smell so sweet,” Blake sighed, rubbing his nose gently there. Josh played with his hair, sliding his fingers through the dark mass and marveling at the way the fine, silky locks flowed through his fingers. Whatever other necessities Blake might ignore, he certainly bought adequate hair product.

Pressure on his neck brought him out of his hypnotic state, and he tensed a little, knowing the pressure to be the slightest touch of teeth. Blake could claim him now if he liked, as easily as a quick bite. He only had to break the slightest bit of skin, draw the tiniest droplet of blood before they would be united. Suddenly, despite what he had seen in the well, he didn’t know if he was ready for that. Their lives had already changed so much. How much more could he take right now?

But the pressure eased quickly and Blake moved on, mouthing first his collarbone and then his chest. He murmured praises to Josh’s hard nipples, lavishing them with his tongue until Josh tossed his head back and let out a soft cry from the pleasurable trembling which stole through him. Lower and lower, Blake kissed certain places and whispered to them a simple phrase or two, worshipping Josh’s body. Fucking had become an act of making love, a desire mingled with mutual need rather than lust.

The lower Blake went, the more intense his kisses became. His teeth flashed out more and more often, scraping along a line of skin there, nipping sweetly here. He made soft sounds deep in the back of his throat, like growls of pure contentment. He sounded like a man enjoying a ten-course-meal, steadily working his way through layers of taste and texture.

Josh strained towards him, arching his back or wiggling to try and get the alpha to pay more attention to a certain place. He was beyond thought now, but he understood what Blake was doing, loving all the parts of him that Josh might have felt ashamed of. And he understood he was not perfect right now and probably wouldn’t be for a very long time, that his journey back to perfect health and sound mental ground was going to be filled with hitches and bumps and setbacks. However, he thought he might do just fine if he had a reminder like this every now and again.

Finally, Blake reached his groin and Josh tensed up with anticipation, begging wordlessly for attention to his swollen manhood—even though alphas tended not to please their partners in such a manner—but Blake skipped over that part of him entirely and began to work from his thighs all the way down to his toes.

It was then Josh discovered he was ticklish, as any attention to his feet made him burst out into helpless laughter. Blake glared up at him. “You’re supposed to be turned on!”

Josh smiled down at him and then stuck out his tongue. “I don’t have a foot fetish. Do you?”

Blake bared his fangs and came back up to kiss Josh roughly, with more of his usual fire. “I’ll have whatever I damn well please,” he growled. “Just for that, I’m going to fuck you.”

“Oh, no,” Josh deadpanned, though those words had him breathless and whimpering. “Not that. Anything but that. Please, don’t punish me in that manner.”

Blake nipped at his neck, not drawing blood, not marking him, but letting him know who was in control. His broad hands slid down Josh’s waist and around to the inside of his thighs, raising fire in the wake of his touch. He spread Josh’s legs wide and slid between them, then started to undo his jeans once more. He pulled out his erection and held it in his hand for a moment, teasing Josh by stroking it and not letting the omega touch it.

Through the haze in his mind, Josh remembered what he tried to ask for last time, to no avail. He opened his mouth, words on the tip of his tongue, only to be silenced by a fingertip sliding over his lower lip.

“I’ve got it,” Blake reassured him, then reached under the bed to retrieve the lube. Josh didn’t know at what point the alpha had put it under there or why, but he was too overheated to think of reasons. He lay there on his back, awaiting the cold burn of gel on his opening. When it came, he ground himself against the pressing fingers, striving to get them buried as deeply inside his body as they could go. Frustratingly, they teased him, sliding in and out, moving away when he strained forward, giving him another centimeter when he had just relaxed.

Soon enough, it was too much and he grabbed Blake’s wrist and held it in place with a grip that felt far harder than he was capable of. Blake’s dark eyes blazed at his, surrounded by an untamed mane of wild hair, and Josh saw himself reflected. He saw a thin man but not a wasted man, not a ruin of flesh and bone and shriveled muscle, but as a wondering thing of potential. This wasn’t what he was meant to be. Both of them knew it. He could be so much more, had once been more, and could be it again if only he let himself relax.

That was always his problem, he realized. The epiphany came on a wave of burning embers, which spread their trails of flame across his entire being; Blake was above him, his finger having been replaced with his manhood as he slid the length of his shaft carefully inside Josh. He knew now he was too intense, that even his fun times were always purposeful. His parents were career-driven even when they were goofing around in the kitchen with crazy ingredients, always practicing techniques and filing the information away for future use. Fun was for learning and fun was for enrichment, never simply for the purpose of fun. While other pups were allowed to chase their tails until they were sick, he was given problems to solve and tasks to complete, all of which were disguised as games. The other children tried to join in on these games but inevitably they would grow bored and go back to their simpler play.

“He’s so advanced for his age,” was a thing he heard constantly throughout his life. He was proud of it, proud of his seriousness, proud of the attention and positive remarks given to him over his peers, but now he knew this was all at the cost of the most important years of his life. Not college, not high school, but his toddler years, where he would have learned how to enjoy his time.

He was a career-driven person. A driven man in general, always searching for purpose. Hell, he even said to Blake that he thought dates had to have a point. He never allowed himself to just enjoy anything. He could relax physically, as he was doing now, allowing his lover to glide more easily inside him, his thrusts growing faster and harder without ever losing the tenderness which had sprouted between them, but emotionally was a great deal harder.

His body moved of its own accord as Blake started to spasm and lose control. They shoved together, grinding and pressing. Josh felt the echo of Blake’s pleasure deep inside his mind, and felt the echo of his own heat inside Blake, and the two of them mingled back and forth until they were united as one just in time for the finale. They were lost in a swirl of blinding colors, culminating in a flash of white that filled them with tension and was slow to fade.

They lay together, both of them panting, slack and breathless. Their lips touched as they shared their breath, kissing just to kiss, to feel each other. As the kiss ended, Josh lowered his head to nestle his cheek against Blake and closed his eyes. His stomach trembled with weary satisfaction and his ass was pleasantly sore. He felt beyond words, and the silence stretched between them as they cuddled. Droplets of wetness on the bed between them went unnoticed, neither of them caring. The smell of their sex hung heavy in the air.

When Blake at last spoke, his husky smoker’s growl slid beneath the glassy quiet instead of shattering it. “I’ve never seen a man think so much during sex.”

A warm flush heated Josh’s cheeks. He tucked his face down a little more firmly against Blake. “Sorry.”

Much to his surprise, his hair was stroked, smoothed down the back of his head with a soft touch. “Don’t be,” Blake said. “It looked really important. Was it?”

He blushed a little more, certain now that Blake could feel the extra heat on his skin. “I guess so.”

Blake kept stroking his hair, petting him. The motion came naturally and without hesitation, as if he had been wanting to do so for ages now. “So, share. Remember, no girly shit.”

“It’s going to sound girly.”

“That’s different. You’re an omega. Ow!” Blake grimaced playfully as Josh swatted him on the chest. The sound of flesh against muscle was rather satisfying, like striking a drum. “Really, though. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours? What thoughts are rolling around behind your cute face?”

Pretty head and cute face. I can’t remember ever being told I have such attributes before.

He thought that might be because of the facial hair he used to wear. A man with a beard, however well-groomed, just wasn’t cute.

“It’s going to sound dumb. Promise you won’t think it sounds stupid?”

“No,” Blake said. “I’ll think whatever I think.”

And somehow, that was exactly what he needed to hear. He didn’t quite manage to look up but at least the words came a little easier. “I was thinking that...maybe you’re right. About how this shouldn’t be serious.”

He felt it quite sharply when Blake tensed, muscles going hard beneath smooth skin. A scent of worry stained the sweet aroma of sex, bitter but not quite potent. “I see,” Blake said, carefully. “What does that mean? Do you want to see someone else? Take a few steps back?” Josh listened to his tone of voice and was surprised to hear simple understanding beneath the wariness, rather than any amount of accusation. “I’d be fine not having sex, but if you want to date other people, I have to say no.”

While that was surprising and he wanted to know why, Josh pulled on the reigns of his curiosity and kept himself in check. “It’s nothing like that. It’s just that...Well, this isn’t going to make any sense unless you know the whole story. I need to tell you about the well.”

“Go ahead. We’ve got nothing but time.”

That was true. If there were ever two people who had time to spare to just sit and talk, it was them. Josh cast his thoughts all the way back to the beginning, to when Ryan told him about the well, only to realize that wasn’t the beginning after all. The beginning was two years prior to that, on the day his parents died. He took a deep breath, then immersed himself in memories and started to talk. Despite the fact that he tried to keep it brief, there was simply a lot that he needed to say as he recounted the tale of his descent into depression and the changes said depression wrought on his life.

Blake shifted them as he spoke until they were both lying on their backs, looking up at the lightning bolt of cracks on the ceiling, which touched all four corners and culminated in a spiral around the spinning fan. He held one arm around Josh’s shoulders so he was cradled against one firm flank; his other arm lay across both their bodies, holding one of his hands. Blake’s fingers were in constant motion, stroking his, tracing the outline of his knuckles and browsing the lines on his palm.

And as Josh told his story, he explained the realizations he was having now about his memories. The well which let shapeshifters see their true mate seemed like an idol, though it was certainly a false one. It seemed to him to be a way to regain some control over his life, behind which the rest would follow.

“It was a way to...” He raised his free hand, grasping at the words. “I don’t know. I thought everything would get simpler. I could wrap my life around...you...and get all the broken pieces back together again. Except it’s not really that easy, huh?”

Blake made soft sound deep in the back of his throat but said nothing else.

“So I just...I think now that, at least for me, I shouldn’t rush into trying to make anything of us because that’s what I always do. I think because it’s you, that we could just do what you wanted in the first place and just have fun with it?”

A pause, contemplative. His heart hammered in his throat, fluttering anxiously. His stomach tingled with dread.

“Okay,” Blake replied. “Here’s how I see it. I think there’s definitely an ‘us’ now. But what we are...I don’t think we have to label it, do we? We can be whatever you want. Just, don’t go. You wormed your way in my life, and I’ll be damned if I let you worm back out.”

Words were insignificant, so they kissed instead. They cuddled deeper, limbs tangled, both of them very deep in thought again.

“What about that dead alpha? Do you...think we should do something?”

Blake growled darkly. “I’d rather not, unless we have to. If you have to do something, put in an anonymous tip that the guy was a homeless feral wolf and just hope that word gets to the right people. I don’t want to deal with this shit anymore. I’m getting too old for it.”

“You’re younger than me, I thought?”

White fangs flashed. “What’s it to you, Grandpa?”

They laughed together, though the accidental murder of the scarred alpha wolf weighed heavy on their minds now. It didn’t seem right to Josh to just leave the situation where it was, but he knew enough by now to realize it was out of his hands. The idea to leave a tip sounded good enough, though.

He tightened his arms around Blake, trying to burrow against his chest. “I’m sorry that happened. I’m so sorry.”

Blake shuddered, letting his head lean against Josh. Their cheeks rubbed together. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I wish I hadn’t had to do it but he was fragile and dangerous. Better he be put down than harm anyone else.”

“You never told me why he had it out for you.”

“Why do ferals ever have it out for anyone? Sometimes violence is just violence without a reason.” Blake shrugged. “I did something with my friends that pissed him off. He was feral. He focused on it. It was as simple as that. We need to change the subject.”

His voice brooked no argument, so they cuddled together again. Josh listened in quietly to Blake’s thoughts, though the alpha shielded them from him. He knew he’d been sheltered from witnessing the death, and knew that Blake hadn’t been so lucky. To see something so agonizing as that, such prolonged suffering...It hurt his heart.

They had almost fallen asleep together when Josh’s stomach roared to life, having dealt with its emptiness for far too long. It growled. It howled. It gurgled. He and Blake listened to the aria with equal astonishment and amusement until the cacophony of sound lessened somewhat. Blake reached for their clothes, which were in disarray across the bed. “What did you do with the leftovers from Denny’s?”

“They’re in the Mustang.”

“Get dressed. Get them.”

“Won’t they be spoiled by now?” Josh asked while putting on his shirt obediently, then trying to smooth down his hair. A person who worked with food grew to be almost obsessive about such things.

“In this weather? Your fancy little car is a fridge on wheels right now. Go get it. We’ll feast.”

As Josh exited the apartment and went for the elevator, he was very aware of Blake lingering in the doorway, watching his ass and the post-coital trembling in his thighs. That was just fine by him.