Chapter Six
EMERY AWOKE TO the feel of gentle vibrations against her belly and found Tango curled up beside her, purring like his little life depended on it. She blinked away the haze of sleep, the scent of Dean surrounding her like an embrace. She turned her nose into the pillow and inhaled.
Mm. Dean.
Her eyes flew open wider. Holy cow! Dean!
She bolted upright, and Tango darted out of the room. Emery pulled the soft brown blanket up to her chest, scanning the bedroom as her mind traveled back to last night, when she must have fallen asleep on his lap. She was still dressed and obviously hadn’t been drunk last night, so they definitely hadn’t hooked up. But why was she in his bed?
Her gaze crawled over the rustic wooden headboard, to the timbers that trimmed the doorframe and cathedral ceiling. A cat’s toy sat in the center of a black leather chair in the corner of the room. The far wall was home to a single heavy wooden dresser, and the windows were draped in caramel-colored curtains and flanked by heavy granite planters with lush greenery spilling over the sides. Simple lines, no clutter, masculine. Perfectly Dean.
She pushed from the bed, burying her toes in the dark throw rug sneaking out from beneath the bed. A few steps later her feet met hardwood, and she went in search of him, stopping cold at the sight of his big body sprawled out on the too-small couch. He lay on his back wearing only the gym shorts he’d worn last night. The material was bunched up at the top of his thighs, making everything look even more impressive.
Wow. Violet wasn’t kidding…
She forced her eyes away from the land of temptation to the sleeping kitty cradled in his arm. Dean’s other arm hung off the edge of the couch, the back of his fingers grazing the floor. She glanced across the cottage to her messy bed. Her heart squeezed. Instead of waking me up or moving my things, you gave me your bed. He was a gentleman to the bone.
Her eyes slid back to his gym shorts, and her stomach dipped.
Great. He was just about the kindest man on earth, he’d opened his home to her and given her his bed, and here she was, ogling all his off-limits hotness while he slept.
Disgusted with herself, she hurried into the bathroom, where she brushed her teeth and hair and washed her face. Then she tiptoed past Dean and changed into her sports bra and yoga pants. Maybe she could meditate her mind back into submission. She went to get her car keys so she could grab her yoga mat from the car, but they weren’t on the counter where she was sure she’d left them. She searched the kitchen, quietly tiptoed around the living room, and circled back to her bedroom, but her keys were nowhere in sight.
She finally gave up and headed out to the backyard. The path of plush lawn around the patio would do just fine.
The brisk morning air teased over her skin as she moved through her morning yoga routine. It was chillier there than it was in Virginia at six in the morning, but she welcomed the cooler air, the hint of sea in the breeze. Emery always began her routine with the most basic positions. The sun salutation was the perfect eye-opener, before moving on to more advanced, core-strengthening moves.
She raised her hands upward, palms facing overhead, focusing on inhaling as she bent backward, stretching her core, then bent forward, bringing her hands to her feet and her face to her shins. Eyes closed, she exhaled. The image of Dean lying on the couch appeared behind her closed lids, making her insides quiver. She opened her eyes, annoyed with herself, and pushed that image aside as she transitioned seamlessly and sank into a lunge position, inhaling deeply. But Dean’s terse voice swam into her mind. You don’t need to date every guy in Wellfleet the first week you’re here.
Tension climbed up her limbs, making her moves rigid and difficult. Dean and his skip the thorns and go straight to the calyx. Did he really think dating was that easy? And if so, why was he still single?
The thought brought a thread of guilt. She knew it wasn’t that easy for him. He’d told her that he’d rarely strayed from dating the kind of women his overbearing tool of a father approved of. It was such a stupid way to live his life, hoping to use the most personal aspect of his life to appease an unworthy man. She’d told Dean enough times that she hoped one day he’d throw caution to the wind and go out and find the most exciting and daring woman he could, just to break free from his father’s stranglehold.
She moved through a few more positions, trying to calm the thoughts ping-ponging in her head, but it was the ache in her chest that had tension clinging to her like a second skin. Dean went out of his way to help everyone, checking on Desiree when Rick had to travel back to DC for meetings and playing peacemaker in his family for his older brother, Jett, who had turned his back on their father, and in turn, it seemed, his family. Giving me your bed. The mountain of a man had a heart of gold, and while she wanted him to break free from the stifling confines his father had drilled into his head, the idea of him doing so with a desperate stranger made her queasy.
She stretched her arms up and bent forward, closing her eyes and exhaling as she grabbed her elbows with opposite hands, maintaining the Uttanasana pose, an intense forward-bending position. At this rate she was never going to clear her head. She tried to focus on her spine lengthening, the stretch in the back of her legs, the air flowing through her lungs. And when a sense of calm descended upon her, she exhaled a long breath. Finally.
“Now, that’s a good morning welcome if I ever saw one.”
Her eyes sprang open, and her stomach pitched at the sight of Dean standing behind her, staring at her butt. “So you’re a butt man, too?” She straightened her spine, set a hand on her hip, and glared at him, hoping to scare away the misguided heat missiles darting through her.
“I don’t discriminate. I like every aspect of a beautiful woman’s body.” He stepped closer, clearly ignoring the scowl on her face. “Is this the way you greet every morning? If so, I’m going to have to get up a little earlier.”
He was messing with her. Well, she’d mess with him right back. Her gaze slid down his bare chest, stopping just shy of his shorts. Awareness zinged through her body like lightning. She was dancing on a slippery slope, but she couldn’t keep herself from engaging in the flirtation.
“Maybe you should come out and learn how to thread the needle with me.” She pretended to gaze out over the gardens as she stretched her arms over her head, hoping he didn’t sense the way he’d affected her.
“Mm. Now, that sounds worth an early alarm.”
Her mind took the ball and ran with it, wondering what it would be like to feel his bare body against hers. His gaze rolled over her face, and sparks ignited beneath her skin.
“What’s going on, doll? Thinking about how much you want me to thread your needle?”
“No,” she lied. “You just…you got in my head last night and it’s making me mad.”
“Did I?” He stepped closer. His eyes darkened, boring into her and leaving no room for misinterpretation. “In what way did I get in your head?”
Her pulse went crazy, and not the kind of crazy it should be going toward a friend. It was going I-want-to-touch-you-kiss-you-and-devour-you crazy. Holy hotness. Violet was right. How had she missed this blazing inferno between them?
She wasn’t about to admit that, so she fell back on the other thing that was bugging her. “You said those things about Brody, and now I’m going to be uncomfortable when I see him today.”
His long legs ate up the last bit of space between them, bringing them so close his body heat seeped into her pores.
“Dean?” fell from her lips, full of confusion and inescapable desire.
“Emery,” he said in the richest, most seductive voice she’d ever heard.
He touched her hip. She opened her mouth to say something snarky, to sever their connection, but her sass was trapped beneath simmering lust. “What…? What are you doing?”
“What I should have done the minute you showed up on my doorstep.” His gaze moved slowly over her face, as if he were seeing her in a new light. “Being completely honest with you about how I feel.”
Her entire being was on fire, but she couldn’t do this, no matter how much she might want to. “Dean. We’re friends.”
“We are.” His gaze did not waver from hers.
“You don’t want to do this. I’m not even your type.” She knew his father would never approve of a small-town, uneducated yoga teacher for his precious son, which meant they could never have anything real and lasting even if she was willing to risk everything.
“You’re wrong, doll. I’ve wanted to do this since the first night we met, and every phone call, every text, every freaking thought of you since, has only made me want you more.”
Panic swelled inside her, warring with the manic butterflies that had taken flight. She’d done such a good job of not letting herself see him as anything more than a friend for so long, she couldn’t relent now. It would only lead to the beginning of the end of their friendship, and their friendship was too important to risk.
His fingers tightened around her hip, hot and enticing. She held her breath, fighting against what felt like an unrelenting force between them.
“What’s wrong, Emery? You don’t like my killer smile? My eyes that say I’ll take you and cherish you at once? Or is it my hot body that you’re opposed to?”
A half laugh, half oh-shoot-me-now sound fell from her lips as he threw her own words back at her. “That’s a stupid question. How could any woman in her right mind not find you attractive?”
To prove—to herself?—he hadn’t opened some sort of floodgate, she pressed her hands to his chest, but heat seared up her arms, and she pulled them away as if she’d been burned. His lips curled up in a satisfied smile.
“We can’t do this, Dean. I can’t. I’ll mess us up.”
“I won’t let you,” he said, steady and confident.
“You can’t stop it.” Fear exploded inside her at the thought of losing his friendship—and at revealing the truth she’d never shared with anyone. But with Dean, she suddenly couldn’t hold back. She didn’t want to. He needed to know why this was a bad idea.
“It’s who I am, Dean. I don’t know how to be whatever it is that you want.”
“Emery.” He cupped her jaw, and mercy, she leaned in to his reassuring touch. “I want you. Emery Andrews. The girl who downs ice cream when she’s had a bad date, watches creepy movies from behind splayed fingers, and refuses to admit she’s too tired to stay awake. You don’t have to be anything other than yourself.”
Oh, how she wished that were true! She forced herself to step out of his reach, her heart thundering so hard she was sure he could see it, and she did what she knew she had to in order to redirect the heat between them, even if it felt wrong. “Was this your plan all along? To get me here so you could make your move?”
Anger crawled up his features, but it was the deeper emotions keeping that anger at bay that had her dumbstruck. “Do you think I planted the naked guy in Violet’s cottage? C’mon, Emery. I saw you were uncomfortable and I gave you a solution.” His gaze softened. “You blew into my life last Christmas, and you’ve been there with me nearly every night since. Of course I wanted to protect you from that situation.”
“What else do you want from me?” she snapped reflexively. “Because a one-night stand will ruin us—”
“That’s the last thing I want.” He closed the distance between them. “You know me better than that. You know I don’t sleep around. I’m a one-woman guy—”
“Right. That’s you. But did you forget who you’re talking to? I don’t even know what that looks like. My parents split up, remember? I’ve never dated anyone for longer than a week.” Her chest constricted with her confession, even though he already knew this about her. Saying it face-to-face drove the ugly truth of it home. “My brothers and I are broken or something.”
“You’re not broken, Emery. You just haven’t been with the right guy. You haven’t been with me. I’ll show you how.”
Her heart stumbled, and it took a moment before she could find her voice again.
“You can’t show me. I ruin everything that even begins to look like a relationship.”
“You’re wrong.” His face was serious, his blue eyes determined and authoritative, as if he were silently challenging her to give him all she had, so he could prove her wrong.
“I wish I was,” she admitted. “But if there’s one thing I finally figured out about myself, it’s this. I’ve told you about all the guy friends I’ve dated—”
“They were the wrong guys. They weren’t me,” he said adamantly.
She opened her mouth, but no words came.
“Think about it, Em. We’ve been in a relationship for months.”
“It’s different” fell from her lips. “Over the phone is one thing, but in person? As a couple? And let’s not forget that I’m going to be working for you. There is no doubt in my mind, Dean. I’ll mess this up big-time. I only know how to be me, and apparently I’m too—” Her mind reeled back through the last twenty-four hours, and the truth sank in. She was flirtatious and unfiltered. Tears burned her eyes and she turned away. Unwilling to be one of those weak girls who fell apart in the face of hard times, she straightened her spine, keeping those stupid tears at bay as she turned to face him again.
“I’m not willing to risk our friendship.” But she wanted to because, oh, she loved everything about him. He was confident and funny, honest and rational. And they got along so well. To experience all of that in an intimate way for one night would be more than she ever had, but if they shared even one kiss, everything would change—and not only because she wouldn’t want to stop.
She met his gaze, and the hurt and desire she saw there nearly did her in. She felt gutted.
Everything had already changed.
“Why did you have to tell me how you felt?” she spat. “How can we ever go back to being just friends? Now I’m going to question everything I do around you—and everything you do for me.”
“How could I not tell you, when the woman I’ve been falling for every day for months is finally within reach? Do you really want me to pretend I feel nothing? To watch you go out with guys who aren’t worthy of you? I tried, Emery, because I know how you feel about going out with friends or with your boss, but I can’t do it. I’m not going to be one of the guys who lies to you.”
“But…” she said weakly. “I love our friendship, and I don’t want to lose it.”
His arm circled her waist, and he drew her against his hard frame. “Neither do I.”
For a brief moment, she allowed herself to enjoy the feel of him embracing her, the way he calmed the mounting panic that had threatened to consume her. She wanted to stay right there in the circle of his arms and forget that anything had the power to break them—least of all her. But she knew better.
“I’ve been down this road before,” she finally managed, “and it never ends well. Within a few dates, all those things you like about me will become the very things that’ll drive you away.”
“You’re wrong, doll.”
“Oh, right,” she said as an incredulous laugh fell from her lips. “Like you’re going to be okay with me flirting with other guys?”
His brows knitted. “You wouldn’t do that if you were with me.”
She pushed from his arms and paced, feeling like her insides were being ripped to shreds as she prepared to lay her true self out in the most vulnerable way she ever had. She inhaled deeply and gazed directly into his hopeful eyes. “Not on purpose, I wouldn’t,” she admitted. “But don’t you see? I don’t realize I’m doing it half the time. It’s who I am. Look at how you reacted when I changed into my shirt in front of you last night. I trust you as a friend, so for you to see my bare back was no big deal to me. Nothing about that was meant to feel sexual or flirtatious, but you probably thought it was.”
“You may not have meant it to entice me, but you can’t tell me that you felt nothing when you had your top off in front of me,” he challenged, closing the distance between them again, sparks igniting all around them. “That you feel nothing now.”
She froze. “What I feel isn’t the point. The point is, when I took my dress off, I wasn’t thinking about reeling you in or turning you on. I wasn’t thinking past the conversation we were having. I don’t know if that’s because I’m so used to being around guys from growing up in a house full of them or what, but it is what it is. And it’s the only me I know how to be.”
His eyes narrowed and he quickly schooled his expression, but not before she saw his frustration.
“See?” She crossed her arms, needing the barrier between them. “You know it’s true. I could do that around other guy friends without even thinking about it, and you would want to rip their heads off for seeing me—and rip mine off for doing it. And I wouldn’t blame you.”
Her confession drained her. If ever she thought there was a man she could love, it was Dean. But being loved for her true self? Forever? That was a pipe dream at best.
DEAN CLENCHED HIS teeth together so hard he was sure he’d crack a molar. There was no way he was okay with being just friends with the woman who had captured his heart one phone call at a time for months on end. But he swallowed those words and reached for her.
“Come here, doll.” Holding her close, he tried to get a handle on his emotions.
She rested her cheek on his chest, and he guided her arms around his waist.
“You’re one of my best friends. I can’t explore my feelings for you because I can’t imagine my life without you in it,” she said, holding him tighter. “I’m too broken to be fixed, and that’s okay as long as I don’t lose this.”
Dean’s heart ached. She was the same woman who’d cursed a blue streak when she’d told him what happened with her ex-boss at the yoga back-care practice and had sworn she’d never work for someone else again. The woman who’d cried when she’d first seen him bottle-feed the wounded kittens and when her favorite character died on Game of Thrones, swearing she’d never watch another episode—until he said he’d watch it with her via Skype so she wouldn’t be alone. She could be strong and stubborn, but he knew about her softer side. The side that needed to be held and nurtured, loved and supported in all her endeavors. The part of her that needed to be pushed and challenged so she didn’t sell herself short.
He’d seen, and adored, the side of her that needed protecting…from herself. A pang of hurt speared through him with the harsh thought, but it was true. She didn’t believe she knew how to have a relationship, but even without being in the same state, they’d shared their highest highs and lowest lows. And he was the best man—the only man—to prove that to her.
But if there was one thing he was sure of about his sassy, stubborn doll, she was too scared to give in, despite that he was one hundred percent certain they belonged together. She was in Wellfleet starting a new life because he’d pushed her buttons enough to make her open her eyes and finally take charge of her happiness, and he intended to do it again and again until she realized friendship was good—but true love could, and would, be even better.
He cradled her face in his hands and gazed into her beautiful eyes. There was no denying the emotions he saw there—or the fear simmering on the surface. He had a feeling that winning Emery’s heart was going to be like scaling a dune barefoot in the scalding heat, but he knew it would be worth every painful second.
“The last thing I want is to lose our friendship,” he assured her. “I know you’ve been hurt by guys in the past, but I’m not them. I’ll never hurt you.” She opened her mouth to speak, and he placed his finger over her lips, wishing he could silence her with a kiss. But that was part of the problem. Emery was used to burning hot and hectic with the guys she dated, and although that was a hard pill for him to swallow, he wasn’t surprised that she had completely shut him down. Because if she didn’t, if she allowed herself to explore what was so obviously there, she’d wake up tomorrow expecting their friendship to disintegrate.
He was determined to show her they were different—better—in every way.
“Being friends is not enough for me,” he said honestly, and felt her body go rigid against him. He continued cradling her face and holding her gaze, unwilling to let her escape before she heard him out. “I understand why you’re afraid to give us a chance, and I respect your fears, but I’m not going to sit back while you hurt yourself over and over again, picking up guys who are looking for only one thing, when you’re worth so much more. Everything you want, Emery, everything you need, is standing right in front of you.”
Her eyes took on that dreamy look women got when they saw babies and puppies, and it made his insides turn to mush.
A second later the look washed away, and she said, “Dean, I’m not going to suddenly change my mind.”
“I’m not asking you to.” He was confident that once she experienced the difference between spending time with a man who desired, respected, and cared about her, rather than one who simply wanted to get laid, he wouldn’t have to ask her to do anything.
He lowered his hands to her hips, his fingers pressing into her softness. “All I want is to show you how you deserve to be treated. Let me take you on three”—he paused before the word dates could escape—“example outings.” Example outings? What is that?
A soft laugh fell from her lips. “Seriously? Do you think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes by calling them that?”
“I’ll call them whatever will make you give us a shot, so you can realize we belong together.”
“What if I say no?” she asked with pleading eyes—eyes that told him she didn’t want him to accept no for an answer.
“Then we’ll both be missing out on what I’m sure will be the best thing in our lives.”
“How can I even stay here with all this laid out between us?”
His gut clenched. “Because we’re still the same people we were last night when you fell asleep on my lap. Only now I’ve said what you probably already knew but were afraid to acknowledge.”
“Well, take it back,” she said playfully. “I need that guy from last night. The one that doesn’t expect intimacy.”
“Em, don’t you see? It’s you I want, not just your body. Spend time with me and I promise, when we finally come together, it won’t be about sex.” He leaned in closer, and she breathed harder. “It’ll be about us.”
Dean held his breath as silence stretched between them. When Emery took a step back, the fear in her eyes fell away, replaced with strength and conviction. He prepared himself for her to storm away.
“How do you think Brody will take it when I cancel?”
He blinked several times, unable to believe his ears. “I don’t care how Brody feels. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
With a cheeky smile and a sway of her hips, she headed for the house. “I’m saying you better get your run over with fast, because if I’m going on example outings with anyone, it’s not going to be Brody.”
He had no idea what had flipped her switch, but his sassy girl was back, and he felt like he’d been given the gift of a lifetime. But he also knew Emery, knew what she liked, and a challenge was on the top of that list.
“Hey, doll face,” he called after her.
She looked over her shoulder, and man, those eyes, that smile…
“Real men have work to do. Get your pretty little butt cleaned up. You’re coming with me. I’ll take you surfing when I’m good and ready.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow, big guy. That’s some alphadisiac stuff you have goin’ on.”
“Darn right. Be ready in an hour.”